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You're the beta of betas

You're a beta and a homosexual

I stole a chocolate bar and when I got caught I dropped it and then slipped on a banana peel. I fell and broke some furniture. I had to pay for the chocolate bar, the furniture, and a $50 fee for stealing.

Person C is better. Good looking and good at sex.

Person C is better. Good looking and good at sex. Yesterday I stole a piece of chocolate from the kitchen but it spilled on the floor. I had to pay for the cake, the broken plate and a $50 fee for stealing. It sucks. It's so unfair.

His mistake was getting caught

I once ate some crap and an entire football