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...actually my wife's family probably could.

I swear that I'm not. I do need help. A lot of the Tao of Badass/etc. videos only give advice for what to do when trying to get a girlfriend, and if I do those things, I might be successful, but I would ruin a marriage that I value more than anything. I don't have many options in terms of advice...

I was a creep in high school and now women like me. A certain amount of bullying and head****ery from women will be harmful, although moreso with me because I had psychological problems without it. Now I like to attract women just to tell them that I'm married. I require the souls of rejected...

Having my beard neatly groomed. It scared women in high school, but it does add something elegant my appearance, giving sort of a "Most Interesting Man in the World" quality. A lot of guys with facial hair around my age have neckbeards, patchy beards or those stupid chin straps.

I have a sister-in-law who's had a girlish crush on me for 4 years. I recently visited my wife's family and attempted suicide while I was there and my wife made it sound like it was over her. That's partially true, after having a PTSD trigger months before going to California, my PTSD began...