are you still friendly w people who rejected you?

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I mean my point is that she's in social circle w me so thats the idea of a thread

I'll remove myself from this convo, because social circles ain't my forte.

 

[DreamAgain]

Mode One won't prevent rejection, nor is there any single method that will.

Mode One allows you to cut through the bullshiit, and let's you know where you stand with the woman before you are 3 dates in, and your bank account is $120-$180 lighter.

Every man gets rejected..just move on and talk to other women.

The master has spoken.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Kinda like the age old question can man and women be friends....it depends on the maturity of the individuals.

I have had great friendships with men who either I rejected or who rejected me. It is a question of ego management first and foremost. Can my ego handle romtantic rejection if I have a crush on someone?

In my 20s there was a really sexy guy I was very attracted to. He didn't feel the same about me. We never kissed or fooled around or anything. But we were social circle connections. I set aside having a crush on him and we became great friends. Like we'd chat about our relationships, we'd exercise together, we talked daily, we went out together....but just friend stuff, nothing sexual, nobody unrequited. While we were close friends I dated a serious boyfriend for several years, and my friend dated various women and eventually met his first wife.

We had an absolute blast together as friends and many fun adventures and my life was richer for his company and those experiences. We double dated often and he got to know my LTR well. We remain connected today, 30 plus years later, on social media. He has grown kids and is married to his second wife. I have grown kids and am married to my second husband. We do not interact with any frequency but its nice to see him happy & fulfilled and have a window into his life.

But this was only possible because I set aside ego, changed gears and went from a crush to platonic.

And guys have made that adjustment with regards to having a crush on me as well.

So there's something to be said for maturity and boundaries.

 

[CornbreadFed]

In my 20s there was a really sexy guy I was very attracted to. He didn't feel the same about me. We never kissed or fooled around or anything. But we were social circle connections. I set aside having a crush on him and we became great friends. Like we'd chat about our relationships, we'd exercise together, we talked daily, we went out together....but just friend stuff, nothing sexual, nobody unrequited. While we were close friends I dated a serious boyfriend for several years, and my friend dated various women and eventually met his first wife.

This highlights my issue with females having male friends. More than likely it’s some guy they would sleep with under the right circumstances. Even if it’s your stereotypical friendzone relationship, the guy will be willing to sacrifice his whole life to drink your girl’s bath water at any moment. Unless it’s business related, I only think high value men can be maturely responsible to have “female” friends.

 

[BeExcellent]

This highlights my issue with females having male friends. More than likely it’s some guy they would sleep with under the right circumstances. Even if it’s your stereotypical friendzone relationship, the guy will be willing to sacrifice his whole life to drink your girl’s bath water at any moment. Unless it’s business related, I only think high value men can be maturely responsible to have “female” friends.

Never crossed those lines. But we were both high value people with maturity and character.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Never crossed those lines. But we were both high value people with maturity and character.

But was a one night stand possible if the stars aligned at some point in your 20s?

 

[BaronOfHair]

In one instance, I remain friendly with someone who rejected me.... Though she left then-newborn me in a dumpster to be devoured by rats over 3 decades ago, I still toss a couple of quarters into that empty coffee can Mummy holds out, each time I walk past her on the street. I'm overjoyed to my part in hastening her towards the inevitable fentanyl overdose

 

[zekko]

Not saying to be mean or anything, just flat out ignoring her.

I know the temptation is to flat out ignore her, but I'm telling you, this is just sending her the message that you are butt hurt. I would be cordial with her, and just treat her normally. But you need to move on from her as quickly as possible, especially in your head.

 

[Foe]

If you have to start a thread, then it sets a certain need. The less you care the more you should remain friends, the more you care the less you should remain friends.

 

[MatureDJ]

in social circle (ish) situation, girl ive been into agreed to make plans with me and and then the night before asked for a rain check without offering a reschedule. I had given it a few months in between and had a similar-ish situation with her where we made plans but she was like "its gonna be quick etc" and I just sorta blew it off.

anyway bottom line is this isn't going anywhere BUT this is somewhere I'm seeing fairly often, maybe 3-4 x a week.

Do I just ignore her moving forward? I just dont agree w idea of pretending everything is as is and normal and continuing to I guess.. acquiesce to her how I was before.

Not saying to be mean or anything, just flat out ignoring her.

I would just pretend like it hadn't happened. This makes the hamster in her think that you have options, and just moved on quite easily to the next plate. If she has reconsidered her options and decided to give you that date, then SHE will be the one to bring it up.

 

[MatureDJ]

I mean my point is that she's in social circle w me so thats the idea of a thread

You need to spin more plates.

 

[MatureDJ]

I did mode one, and got rejected basally but it just made me angry lol so now.. feels like im in mode 4? idk

You are just frustrated that women don't care to be with you.

 

[MatureDJ]

You are hurt cause a 130lbs woman rejected you? Do you still have balls or she also cut them out?

A 130# chick that is 5'9" is Playboy-tier.

 

[MatureDJ]

No, I am not.

I don't date through social circle though.

When I have been rejected, it has been off of online arranged dates ("one date, no sex, no second date") or having in-person approaches rejected. When I approach strangers, I don't tend to see those strangers again while living my life.

It's OVER for No2ndDateCels.

 

[BeExcellent]

But was a one night stand possible if the stars aligned at some point in your 20s?

Nope. Plenty of opportunity obviously. We'd laugh about that and then be like.......NAH!

 

[Drmuscular]

If you are this emotional about her and haven't even gone on a date or had sex with her I would take distance, you clearly have oneitis and you must sort that shid out before you do anything stupid.

Also she hasn't "rejected you" per se, she has blown you off because she is low interest, take in mind no matter what you do (unless you reinvent yourself or some weird **** like that) that you cant get her interest up, so just game other women.

If you get rid of your oneitis, just treat her like any other woman and default to game, simple as that, but never ask her out.

 

[SW15]

More than likely it’s some guy they would sleep with under the right circumstances.

It's not likely those circumstances ever emerge and the guy ends up as a pathetic simp for the woman.

Even if it’s your stereotypical friendzone relationship, the guy will be willing to sacrifice his whole life to drink your girl’s bath water at any moment.

Most younger men (below 50) with female friends are men wanting to have sex with their female friends. They are stuck in a miserable friend zone but really desire sex with that platonic female friend.

I have managed to avoid platonic, non-sexual friendships with women when I've been physically attracted to them.

@PlatoPacks23 's scenario from the opening post is about getting rejected from a social circle interaction has somewhat different dynamics. Many social circles with both men and women in them who aren't in serious relationships will have some sexual tension between some members.