Do you open the car door for girls?

[Clockwerk50]

So you are investing a lot of money, time, effort, nice dinners and flowers for girls who only are " intrigued by you or desired you" ? With whom you haven't had sex yet? LOL alright Champ, you got this.

Yes, that's the premise of dating. People go to dinners, bars, events, and do nice things for each other. Meanwhile, the man leads and creates opportunities where romance can happen while the woman follows - this happens even before sex. If that's too much effort for a woman I actually like, and who likes me back, l'd question what kind of experiences you're offering. But hey, different approaches lead to different results.

Again, I explained the psychological and behavioral aspects of paying attention to the little details, creating nice experiences, and their power in influencing people, but your counterarguments didn’t engage with the science behind it. I also mentioned that in business, sales, politics, or seduction, those who master the details are the ones who succeed. If ignoring them worked better, the most successful people would be doing nothing. Instead, you relied on incorrect terminology, personal attacks, and a misunderstanding of gender dynamics. I would’ve appreciated at least some bro-science. Nonetheless, you proved my point: I used logic, and it triggered a defensive response. If I had appealed to your emotions, I might’ve been able to change your mind.

Good day.

 

[plumber]

Lol, is this still a thing? It used to be, back when there were still manual locks on the doors. Now days, when I unlock the car, I push the button on my keyfob twice. The first push unlocks the driver side door, the second push unlocks the passenger side. The only way I could unlock the passenger side without first unlocking the driver side is to physically use the key to unlock the door (which is not going to happen).

haha, I still have a truck I use sometimes that is the old way. but, yes your right, this one is probably not anymore.

 

[Oatmeal31]

Yes, that's the premise of dating. People go to dinners, bars, events, and do nice things for each other. Meanwhile, the man leads and creates opportunities where romance can happen while the woman follows - this happens even before sex. If that's too much effort for a woman I actually like, and who likes me back, l'd question what kind of experiences you're offering. But hey, different approaches lead to different results.

Again, I explained the psychological and behavioral aspects of paying attention to the little details, creating nice experiences, and their power in influencing people, but your counterarguments didn’t engage with the science behind it. I also mentioned that in business, sales, politics, or seduction, those who master the details are the ones who succeed. If ignoring them worked better, the most successful people would be doing nothing. Instead, you relied on incorrect terminology, personal attacks, and a misunderstanding of gender dynamics. I would’ve appreciated at least some bro-science. Nonetheless, you proved my point: I used logic, and it triggered a defensive response. If I had appealed to your emotions, I might’ve been able to change your mind.

Good day.

Some people on this site, like any, are so out of touch with reality. Since when is opening doors a big investment? Wtf? I open doors for people regardless of whether I'm attracted or not. It's called having manners and being a decent person. And buying a rose for a special event isn't grand either lmao. Jesus Christ, I instantly block those guys, ain't worth arguing.

 

[sevbucmash]

guys

If the two of you driving to some event, you park, you exit and she sits -- that is expectation of her to get her door opened.

This is uncommon now.

Chances are she'll open her door. But if you exit and she still inside, you walk around your car and open the door for her.

Much common situation is you picking her up from her place. You buy flowers, always an odd number (even number is for funerals and stuff), you give her flowers. Kiss and hug her. Open the door for her. Walk around to your side, sit down. Put some music on. Put her hand on shifter and your hand on top of her hand, and drive.

 

[Sophisticator]

All in all I really value politeness and good manners. I'm from back east where such things were taught to young men at a very early age.
My brothers are all very polite and "protective" I think women enjoy that feeling - of being protected and "safe" from harm; it's kind of a primal thing imo.

That is what I mean. The same thing when I'm walking with a woman, I make sure she doesn't walk too close to the curb and have her purse between us, not dangling outside where a purse-snatcher can yank it from her shoulder. I don't do that because I think women are incapable of guarding their belongings. I do that because I don't want to tempt criminals in seeing us as easy targets.

Chivalry is not about pedestaling women or behaving like a serf, it's about caring about the safety and comfort of your (future) loved ones.

 

[Sophisticator]

This resonated with you, because this is actually you, you do all of those things to be liked.

If you use words like 'resonate', you must also be aware of 'projection'.

I don't know you, but I can read your posts. You don't know me, but you read my posts. I'm sure you've formed some image in your mind that my chivalry is just a technique/method of ingratiating myself to others. However, that says more about how you think and interact with others than an accurate assessment of me.

In order to dance tango the follower needs to willingly follow you, you don't need any tools to make her follow you, just like seduction, simple as dancing.

When you dance tango as the lead, your dance partner follows. If she doesn't (want to) follow, you don't dance with them. Same for dating. You date women who want to be intimate with you. If you have to convince them, they're not interested enough to date.

 

[zekko]

It works for me. Obviously, I don’t do it all the time - only on special nights and not so often that it becomes predictable. And yeah, I give a rose. It’s $6.99 at the grocery store, not exactly a grand sacrifice. Plus, I’ve already said it only works when she’s intrigued and desires me. I’m not just handing out gestures for nothing - I do it because I like the girl and she likes me back.

Oh, I'm not criticizing, do whatever you like. I'm just sharing. I personally haven't found that setting a romantic frame works that well for me, or is adequately appreciated. It's kind of like how some guys don't like to call it a "date" when they go out, because it sets up certain expectations and pressures. That's the closest to how I can explain it.

 

[The Duke]

Be yourself. Do what works for you. Realize that everyone assigns different values to different acts.

One thing that shouldn't be argued is that little things matter to women and its about how you make them feel. They all want to feel special at times.

 

[BeExcellent]

Be yourself. Do what works for you. Realize that everyone assigns different values to different acts.

One thing that shouldn't be argued is that little things matter to women and its about how you make them feel. They all want to feel special at times.

Bear in mind that these are kindnesses that cost nothing too. Things that make a girl feel cared for that cost nothing can serve a man well.

 

[Sophisticator]

Bear in mind that these are kindnesses that cost nothing too. Things that make a girl feel cared for that cost nothing can serve a man well.

Showing your woman consideration makes her feel loved, knowing she's in your thoughts through your actions. These type of things are like knowing how to treat her. Even if it's something simple like knowing how she drinks her coffee (I have a lover who finally realised her husband didn't care about her, because he didn't know how she drank her coffee after living with her for ten years) or taking her for Valentine to the place where you first kissed.

And before some of the more negative members started bawling how this is 'simp behaviour': this is how couples pair-bond. I understand if some of you don't want to pair bond because you're into upping your 'lay-count', but some members might want to be more intimate with women than using them as tissues.

 

[HaleyBaron]

If I feel like it. Next question.

Showing your woman consideration makes her feel loved, knowing she's in your thoughts through your actions. These type of things are like knowing how to treat her. Even if it's something simple like knowing how she drinks her coffee (I have a lover who finally realised her husband didn't care about her, because he didn't know how she drank her coffee after living with her for ten years) or taking her for Valentine to the place where you first kissed.

And before some of the more negative members started bawling how this is 'simp behaviour': this is how couples pair-bond. I understand if some of you don't want to pair bond because you're into upping your 'lay-count', but some members might want to be more intimate with women than using them as tissues.

It's simp behavior. You don't pair bond with dates and roses. You pair bond by proving you're a man to her. All the girls that remember me remember me cause I am who I am, not cause I took her to Starbucks like any average guy can do.