Plinco's cold approach journal

[Plinco]

Went shopping today, and did not see any good-looking young women. I saw one girl, 7/10-ish. I was busy looking at some Christmas cards and before I could walk up to her, she disappeared.

 

[SW15]

The approach went something like this:

I was walking toward the men's clothing section and passed by the women's clothing area and noticed two girls. One of them peeled off a store logo sticker and put it on the back of her phone case. I smiled and asked her what was it. She showed me the sticker and smiled.

Me: (smiles) "Really?!"

Her friend then peels her off to the next section. "Come on let's go"

"Yeah I like taking these stickers. I have a whole bunch of them (on her phone case). See"

Me: "So you're like a hermit crab putting things on your shell"

Her: (looks confused) "What?"

Her friend then peels her off from the conversation. At this point I let it go. I'm pretty sure she's underage anyway. She was probably 16/17, wouldn't know for sure without asking.

That's an example of an approach conversation that fizzles out quickly. This is a conversation that lasted no more than 30 seconds.

This is a common interaction in non-bar approaching.

 

[characternote]

Me: "So you're like a hermit crab putting things on your shell"

I thought that was a good line haha.
But the really young ones don't tend to appreciate it. In fact, she probably has no idea what you were talking about lol

She was probably 16/17

It's a shame that the young ones are so freaking hot!!
They tend to really only respond too a really good looking guy who is somewhere around her age (unless you get extremely lucky like I have a few times). 16 is legal here and we don't have any age gap laws for what it's worth

This is a common interaction in non-bar approaching.

Yep. And even in-bar approaching, especially if you live in a place where talking to strangers is still considered somewhat weird. US people are lucky in that regard. It's very different from the UK for example. (I love visiting the US! I know my accent helps, but it's not just that! It's just the social culture is a bit different). Me and my wings have a tonne of 'fizzling out' sets in bars! Simply because you can only talk too a brick wall for so long. It is what it is. They only tend to put any effort in if a/they are an unusually social person, b/they think you're hot. You kind of need both though! That's why you gotta put in some serious numbers on nights out. I used to approach like 50 18 year old girls per night and sometimes my old ass would get a really hot one back! Gotta eat some serious rejection, though!

 

[JuanSama]

Dude you have balls of steel. I can't imagine myself walking to a woman in public.

 

[SW15]

Dude you have balls of steel. I can't imagine myself walking to a woman in public.

I do this regularly. Most people did this regularly in the 20th Century and into the 2000s.

The rise of online dating in the last 15-20 years changed this.

 

[JuanSama]

I do this regularly. Most people did this regularly in the 20th Century and into the 2000s.

The rise of online dating in the last 15-20 years changed this.

I'm scared of making the women feel uncomfortable by doing this because I kinda look intimidating. I also don't hold eye contact because of that reason.

How are your approaches working out in general?

 

[Plinco]

I'm scared of making the women feel uncomfortable by doing this because I kinda look intimidating. I also don't hold eye contact because of that reason.

How are your approaches working out in general?

You're just having a conversation with a stranger. Like everything else, it takes practice. What kind of situations do you think you can do to practice doing that?

 

[SW15]

I'm scared of making the women feel uncomfortable by doing this because I kinda look intimidating.

Are you joking? This would be an asset and a turn on.

Women are into 6'0"+ men who are fit/muscular.

Women are into bouncers, criminals, and other so-called intimidating looking men.

How are your approaches working out in general?

Approaching strangers in general is a lower percentage play for most men.

It's better to do for 6'0"+ fit/muscular men. However, some of these men don't need to approach because they can get more abundance on swipe apps as compared to approaching in real life.

 

[JuanSama]

You're just having a conversation with a stranger. Like everything else, it takes practice. What kind of situations do you think you can do to practice doing that?

I've only been approaching in group settings like meetups, group hikes, or weddings, where the approach will be warmer. My biggest fear is cold approaching a woman and she freaks out and throws a tantrum.

It's better to do for 6'0"+ fit/muscular men. However, some of these men don't need to approach because they can get more abundance on swipe apps as compared to approaching in real life.

Where do you do those cold approaches anyway? Just anywhere when you're out? I find it's a little weird for a 30 yo man to be wandering around in malls approaching women because I'm supposed to be working and being pre-selected by women. Do I have the wrong mindset?

 

[SW15]

Where do you do those cold approaches anyway? Just anywhere when you're out?

I approach strangers anywhere. I don't care where it is done. I have approached in nearly every typical non-bar venue. I have also approached in plenty of bars.

I find it's a little weird for a 30 yo man to be wandering around in malls approaching women because I'm supposed to be working and being pre-selected by women. Do I have the wrong mindset?

You do have the wrong mindset. If you want to walk around in malls approaching women, do it! I don't like mall approaching much and I've had better success in non-bar approaching in other venues.

"Money, muscles, game" Rollo Tomassi

The best thing you can do is get big muscles. Getting money also helps.

Seduction is looks, money, status, and personality. Your looks will bring in women if they are good enough. However, you will have to start interactions somewhere.

I've only been approaching in group settings like meetups, group hikes, or weddings, where the approach will be warmer.

The idea of doing warmer approaches is a decent idea. However, you're pursuing it in an inefficient at-best way.

Social groups affiliated with the Meetup.com website are a complete waste of time. Women tend to do what's cool/fashionable and Meetup has had a bad reputation for a long time and is not cool/fashionable. Women who go to those events tend to be mediocre to subpar.

Group hikes might work. It's also inefficient and I doubt the audience for group hikes is what you really want (attractive 20 something women).

Weddings can work as well, if enough things fall into place. Generally, going to weddings worked better in the past, prior to Gen Y/Millennials entering the wedding phase of their lives. My Millennial friends all went through the wedding cycle within the last 10 years, as the last of my Millennial friends got married in 2023. Most of them got married in their late 20s and beyond. When couples get married in their late 20s and beyond (as is becoming more common), the wedding attendees tend to be late 20s/early 30s people who are already in established couples.

Let me give you a fantastic example. In 2017, there was a wedding in my social circle. It was one of my good male friends getting married. The marrying couple was 28 and 29 at the time. There were over 100 attendees at this wedding. Do you know how many unattached females between ages 20-39 showed up to this wedding? That would be 0. That wedding would have been a waste of time for the unattached men that went to it (also very few). I didn't go to it.

My biggest fear is cold approaching a woman and she freaks out and throws a tantrum.

That's unlikely to happen. You would need to be extremely socially uncalibrated for this to happen and your looks would also be far from ideal for this to happen.

I have been approaching women for a long time and this hasn't happen to me. While I don't have elite level looks, my looks are generally good enough to avoid major tantrums and I am socially calibrated.

 

[JuanSama]

The best thing you can do is get big muscles. Getting money also helps.

I got muscle but they're not that big because I don't wanna do steroids, at least not yet. I'm doing well with money too. Only thing lacking is game but I'm working on it. I need more women to practice on. Like you said, I've not been efficient at this.

I stopped drinking alcohol 2 years ago. Most I can do is a beer. Should I still go to bars? What's your top places for approaching young women? Really gotta gets some reps in.

 

[SW15]

I got muscle but they're not that big because I don't wanna do steroids

Don't do steroids! Steroids can affect sexual performance.

Keep lifting weights and get involved in some sports for cardio if you like that. Swimming can be a good one. I like swimming 1+ miles when I swim laps. That can help a physique.

Muscles help more if you are 6'0"+. A 6'2" guy with muscles is hotter to women than a 5'9" guy with muscles. A 5'9" guy should still exercise and lift weights though.

I stopped drinking alcohol 2 years ago. Most I can do is a beer. Should I still go to bars?

You don't make that good of a case for going to bars. That's more problematic slightly down the road with setting up early stage dates (Dates 1-2 off of daygame) than it is on bars alone.

Do you drink any liquor-based drinks? One drink with liquor is good too. One beer is good. You could go to bars and approach with your one beer, but you won't be around that long. I like to have 2 drinks on both pickup efforts at bars and on my initial drinks dates in bars.

What's your top places for approaching young women? Really gotta gets some reps in.

If you're a 30 year old guy looking to approach 20 something women, you have some options.

1. Bars in trendy parts of a large metropolitan area
2. Gyms/fitness classes
3. Supermarkets/grocery stores in parts of a city/town where unmarried people tend to live
4. Outdoors
5. Malls can be an option, but they draw in more than 20 something women. If the mall gets enough foot traffic, you can do this.

If you like a certain sport, you could do a co-ed sports league. It's difficult to swoop into a league and get dates/get laid fast. You're going to likely need to build social connections across multiple league cycles of that sport.