Strategies dealing with a girl who fights for the frame.

[New_Journey]

My GF is very pretty & has been treated like a princess her whole life. Needless to say. She can be…difficult. My only recourse is to get up and leave. Or rather, attempt to. As she has has blocked me. But. It gets her back in line. And she knows I have options.

Everytime you leave and you come back when ahe begs you, you're teaching her that is okay, she make be "difficult", you leave, she begs and then come back.

Idk man but that takes a toll on and she's noticing ypu always coming back.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Everytime you leave and you come back when ahe begs you, you're teaching her that is okay, she make be "difficult", you leave, she begs and then come back.

Idk man but that takes a toll on and she's noticing ypu always coming back.

This only happens 1-2 a year. I actually have never ‘left’ as she hasn’t let me leave.

 

[plumber]

That's why I personally never understand the passport bro hype. Or I'd say: I start to understand that it's done mostly by men who don't understand women and probably never been with hot women before. Any man who got his fair share of "beautiful drama" will think twice before traveling across the globe only to invite tons of trouble in his life. Doesn't make any sense

Valid point.

But you have answered it in the comment.

Either way most have to learn the hard way. Generally SMV has to be high enough to get more than one hot woman to be able to learn. There is a lot of calculations in SMV, some of them don't make sense to us but are true all the same. Passport bro gets SMV boost, sometimes a huge boost. Its all very mechanical...

Reasons for low SMV are many, including genetics and environment. Some things can not be fixed, so we drive other things high if we can to cover; example is money or body.

In the end a hot woman is a hot woman. If your SMV is much higher than hers then can keep her in check, or she will keep herself in check for fear of loosing you. If a passport bro brings the catch to the west, his SMV advantage disappear and look out. If the passport bro lowers his SMV in the other place, will have problems. Getting fat, poor, injured, coward,... list goes on and on. They get an advantage but still have to be smart.

Make sense ?

 

[Gamisch]

Valid point.

But you have answered it in the comment.

Either way most have to learn the hard way. Generally SMV has to be high enough to get more than one hot woman to be able to learn. There is a lot of calculations in SMV, some of them don't make sense to us but are true all the same. Passport bro gets SMV boost, sometimes a huge boost. Its all very mechanical...

Reasons for low SMV are many, including genetics and environment. Some things can not be fixed, so we drive other things high if we can to cover; example is money or body.

In the end a hot woman is a hot woman. If your SMV is much higher than hers then can keep her in check, or she will keep herself in check for fear of loosing you. If a passport bro brings the catch to the west, his SMV advantage disappear and look out. If the passport bro lowers his SMV in the other place, will have problems. Getting fat, poor, injured, coward,... list goes on and on. They get an advantage but still have to be smart.

Make sense ?

Yes ofcourse it makes sense. A rare commodity is worth more. Blonde guy in a brown country will stand out( or I'd say USED TO stand out...)

My biggest issue is that the "get your passport " qoute been thrown around way too easy nowadays. Like women in poorer, harder conditions who were raised by and only dated poor and hardened men somehow gonna be softer than women that were cuddled their entire life... like women who were raised by scammers, drug dealers, and criminals are somehow more feminine. ( and I’m from 3rd world country, corruption is EVERYWHERE. The judge also drives Uber. Ministry of finance wanted for drugs trafficking. Jail outbreaks are normal. Cops ask for money for no reason ect)

It's mostly the "nothing burger dude " who does this. Too vanilla. The not so pretty golden retriever. If he would fix his mindset he would be slaying in his own hometown . But when you say " ALL women in ( let's say) USA are evil"..you might not even see an opportunity when it's right in front of you.

 

[plumber]

If he would fix his mindset he would be slaying in his own hometown .

This is true. How to do it ?

Mindset is a mix of genetics, environment, hormones and training. Its not just an effort thing, its how to direct the effort. I think that is one of the core things SS tries to help with.

The exact way that each mind works is different from each other. There is interesting work in psychedelics to try addressing mindset. Some of the earlier tries had some good success with fixing mindset. We can't recommend this, but its in the mix of the level and depth of this issue.

The ugly golden retriever does not have a high enough SMV to attract women enough that they will break through his issues. It looks like it should work, but he can not. So he tries to raise his smv (sports car, clothes, club, gym,...). You can not be a man of confidence until you have success. Chicken and egg problem... No amount of shaming will fix this.

The teaching men get in the homes and schools about all of this is interesting....

Accept fail or try passport ??

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This is true. How to do it ?

Mindset is a mix of genetics, environment, hormones and training. Its not just an effort thing, its how to direct the effort. I think that is one of the core things SS tries to help with.

The exact way that each mind works is different from each other. There is interesting work in psychedelics to try addressing mindset. Some of the earlier tries had some good success with fixing mindset. We can't recommend this, but its in the mix of the level and depth of this issue.

The ugly golden retriever does not have a high enough SMV to attract women enough that they will break through his issues. It looks like it should work, but he can not. So he tries to raise his smv (sports car, clothes, club, gym,...). You can not be a man of confidence until you have success. Chicken and egg problem... No amount of shaming will fix this.

The teaching men get in the homes and schools about all of this is interesting....

Accept fail or try passport ??

You start with learning meditation. Then, you get better at mind control. Once you get good with mind control, you can start adopting mindsets. That being said, mindsets help but they are no guarantee. But better than shaming tactics lol.

Check out this book

Amazon.com

Dude worked with the CIA if that tells you anything.

 

[Gamisch]

This is true. How to do it ?

Mindset is a mix of genetics, environment, hormones and training. Its not just an effort thing, its how to direct the effort. I think that is one of the core things SS tries to help with.

The exact way that each mind works is different from each other. There is interesting work in psychedelics to try addressing mindset. Some of the earlier tries had some good success with fixing mindset. We can't recommend this, but its in the mix of the level and depth of this issue.

The ugly golden retriever does not have a high enough SMV to attract women enough that they will break through his issues. It looks like it should work, but he can not. So he tries to raise his smv (sports car, clothes, club, gym,...). You can not be a man of confidence until you have success. Chicken and egg problem... No amount of shaming will fix this.

The teaching men get in the homes and schools about all of this is interesting....

Accept fail or try passport ??

Let's say he goes out next weekend and tells himself he should at least talk to 10 women. Saying Hi can be enough. Because the biggest hurdle is within his own mind. Next weekend longer convos. Soon as one is receptive ask.for her number ect.

Analogy time: the gym. I've been letting myself go at times. Mostly after illness /injury/ depression. I couldn't get off the couch ,enjoyed all the bad foods and gained weight like mad.
All the while the pathway to the gym was equally short as always. Yet in MY mind it become like climbing the mount everest.

But...as soon as I went to the gym for the first time after a while it wasn't all that bad after all..the big mountains was nothing but a small pile of sand!

Same with (talking to ) women. It's seems like an impossible hurdle untill you realise that women are born for getting chased by us men and they LOVE it.

Regarding the "ugly golden retriever". That's a matter of putting in the work...when you run away from working hard you will eventually hit a wall. Fitting clothes, good parfum, well groomed, good physique, working on mental health..many ways to increase your looks.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Usually if we/I think a gal is a 9 or a 10, they have high female hormones, acting very feminine. Same hormones drives her crazy some times. Its part of the package. A famous actress in the past was quoted as telling how if a man can not handle her at her worst, he does not deserve her best. The rub is that if she looses the hormones, she will not be a 9+ anymore and you still won't want her.

Remember for every hot woman there is some guy that is tired of her behavior.

Hormones have little to do with how you look. That's mainly controlled by genes and DNA. This is some weird science you have going on here.

 

[plumber]

Hormones have little to do with how you look. That's mainly controlled by genes and DNA. This is some weird science you have going on here.

Haha, skin glow, posture and attitude. Mostly it is the inner feeling that gets presented in body language.

 

[plumber]

Let's say he goes out next weekend and tells himself he should at least talk to 10 women. Saying Hi can be enough. Because the biggest hurdle is within his own mind. Next weekend longer convos. Soon as one is receptive ask.for her number ect.

Analogy time: the gym. I've been letting myself go at times. Mostly after illness /injury/ depression. I couldn't get off the couch ,enjoyed all the bad foods and gained weight like mad.
All the while the pathway to the gym was equally short as always. Yet in MY mind it become like climbing the mount everest.

But...as soon as I went to the gym for the first time after a while it wasn't all that bad after all..the big mountains was nothing but a small pile of sand!

Same with (talking to ) women. It's seems like an impossible hurdle untill you realise that women are born for getting chased by us men and they LOVE it.

Regarding the "ugly golden retriever". That's a matter of putting in the work...when you run away from working hard you will eventually hit a wall. Fitting clothes, good parfum, well groomed, good physique, working on mental health..many ways to increase your looks.

Gary Bishop tells it just like you do. I like his book, its very real.

The issue is confidence. Getting more rejections doesn't solve that.

I get it, but disagree.

 

[Bingo-Player]

A 10 doesn't exist.

Besides that I agree with the last sentence.

This 100%.

These are the women you want untill you get them , greatly worded.

That's why I personally never understand the passport bro hype. Or I'd say: I start to understand that it's done mostly by men who don't understand women and probably never been with hot women before. Any man who got his fair share of "beautiful drama" will think twice before traveling across the globe only to invite tons of trouble in his life. Doesn't make any sense

Well the passport bros tend to go to third world countries where the women will accept a lower value trade off

I mean some of these asian chicks are beautiful but their common as dirt , I was in Vietnam last year i would walk past a bar and 30-40 chicks who would be considered 7's and 8's in the west are trying to hook up

And yes a lot of it is pay to play but its a far more simple version of what western women have come to expect

Western women expect a relatively high SMV dude AND pay to play

Asian chicks its just straight up pay to play doesn't really matter what you look like

Ultimately you're going to be paying to play with 90% of the women you meet

I mean I'm dating and fvcking a girl in Australia at the moment I've noticed when we meet I am default expected to pay for 90% of our activities , food whatever else

She will vary rarely offer to pay for anything unless its something low value like a coffee

Other than that she's pretty low maintenance but I would be kidding myself if I said there wasn't a trade off happening there

 

[Pandora]

Been seeing this girl lately. Some facts:

1. We have an age gap (41-28).
2. She is undeniably hot , 9/10 (a model), and it's quite clear she hasn't had a relationship where she didn't firmly hold the reins and had "yes men" all her life. I don't think she's used to "No" and it clearly both freaks her out and attracts her.
3. She, by her practices, is looking for something long term - I've slept with over 10 girls last year, and she is standing out as the one who genuinely asks questions about me and my two children in a way that says she's interested in more than just my ****, which is the impression i get from other girls. She has also been cooking for me, and all in all I get the impression she's a family girl
4. I don't mind something long term, but in the right frame. And in my view it's way too early to contemplate anything like that just yet.
5. Why does she like me? she was the one to hover around me because of my social status being a trainer in a local event. Plus I fit her "hot" archetype i guess.
6. We have met 6 times. k-close 1st time, heavy LMR snd time, f-close 3rd time + . All of this in the last 3 weeks.

Face to face and when we're meeting she's happy as a clam. The pattern when we meet is she is super feminine, we have some fun activity together, we cook some kind of meal, and have some mind blowing sex, the next morning she sends me a bunch of messages about how she's happy and about her day etc...

Then over the next 2 days until we meet again I sense that she freaks out that she's not in control of the relationship, and starts attempting to bargain. She explicitly asks whether I'm seeing other people and clearly wants exclusivity. Then she says she wants me to be more responsive over text, and to call her over the phone, etc...

This happened twice, when she asked for exclusivity I insisted this was something we talk about f2f. When we met I told her I'd like things to progress naturally, I told her I'm not here to screw her or anything like that. I also strongly hinted to her that I find being demanding extremely unattractive and to knock it off. I also told her any discussion like this will never happen over text and to be f2f.

After this we met and again the sense of attraction was off the charts, even more submissive and happy in bed.

We were meant to meet tomorrow, and she's been sending me pictures of herself etc (classy stuff).. and i told her to cook again when we meet tomorrow.

Today though she completely freaks out again, I wake up to a bunch of messages about how I'm confusing her with my signals, because I'm not that responsive to her over text, and I don't call her, and I don't take her out, she says "honestly I do not know what you want you're confusing me".

She then throws the ultimatum that we can't meet tomorrow. Then she says may may be if I'm better with her on text. I don't have the time for that.

I recognize all of these ultimatums and tantrums for what they are, declarations of loss of control. So I shut her out because I've had enough, i told her:

* it seems that we're getting too attached here, let's stop meeting until we have some control over our emotions".

She replies back ... no worries, I did not realise you feel this way, followed by a sad emoji.

So at this point I'm thinking I'm not going to reach out again, but I'm curious in your thoughts about how I handled this and how it should be handled going forward.

You got the hot girl discount. Its when you get a hot chick but part of the reason you got her is because she is crazy. Im an expert at this discount.

She 100% has a personality disorder. Some variant of BPD. I know because my girl is on that spectrum and I dated many. I also used to do psych stuff professional at one point.

It can work but it will be very taxing on your psyche at first. I have seen it work though. Contrary to popular belief these crazy girls do get better. Its up to you to decide if you want to put in the grueling work.

 

[Pandora]

Yes ofcourse it makes sense. A rare commodity is worth more. Blonde guy in a brown country will stand out( or I'd say USED TO stand out...)

My biggest issue is that the "get your passport " qoute been thrown around way too easy nowadays. Like women in poorer, harder conditions who were raised by and only dated poor and hardened men somehow gonna be softer than women that were cuddled their entire life... like women who were raised by scammers, drug dealers, and criminals are somehow more feminine. ( and I’m from 3rd world country, corruption is EVERYWHERE. The judge also drives Uber. Ministry of finance wanted for drugs trafficking. Jail outbreaks are normal. Cops ask for money for no reason ect)

It's mostly the "nothing burger dude " who does this. Too vanilla. The not so pretty golden retriever. If he would fix his mindset he would be slaying in his own hometown . But when you say " ALL women in ( let's say) USA are evil"..you might not even see an opportunity when it's right in front of you.

Lol why you always ragging on Passport bros. This post has nothing to do with passport bros playa. Btw the main reason to go overseas is no divorce laws and unfair child support laws. I have told you this before my SS brother but you dont seem to understand. Until they change the laws in the USA men will be looking for other options.

 

[New_Journey]

In the end a hot woman is a hot woman. If your SMV is much higher than hers then can keep her in check, or she will keep herself in check for fear of loosing you.

She might do that, or she may not. Hot women have options everywhere, you can be a 10/10 man, the Chad of Chads, but hot women are used to get what they want, if you don't bend to her every whim, she will make drama and try to control you, eventually if you can't be controlled she will be okay with a 8/10 man that she can control, so I wouldn't count on her changing for you.

Western women expect a relatively high SMV dude AND pay to play

If you were a hot woman, you would expect that too, you wouldn't be with a low SMV guy.

I mean I'm dating and fvcking a girl in Australia at the moment I've noticed when we meet I am default expected to pay for 90% of our activities , food whatever else

She will vary rarely offer to pay for anything unless its something low value like a coffee

Whey haven't you tell her "You're paying tonight and take her to do something expensive". I mean, its your fault that you're paying 90%, nobody is forcing you to do it. Are you afraid of telling her that in case she gets mad and removes the puzzy?

the main reason to go overseas is no divorce laws and unfair child support laws

You go overseas to marry a women whom you'll rarely see, to have a child whom you won't even be present (unless you stay there). That's just irresponsible, you are not different from men who get women pregnant and don't do $hit with their kids, just to have an ego boost of "Yeah bro I have a child, I pass down my genetic code" In that case, save $50k and have the kid via surrogacy.

 

[SW15]

You got the hot girl discount. Its when you get a hot chick but part of the reason you got her is because she is crazy. Im an expert at this discount.

She 100% has a personality disorder. Some variant of BPD. I know because my girl is on that spectrum and I dated many. I also used to do psych stuff professional at one point.

It is true that there are very attractive women with personality disorders.

One of my friends married an attractive woman with bipolar disorder. It's not a good situation.

It can work but it will be very taxing on your psyche at first. I have seen it work though. Contrary to popular belief these crazy girls do get better. Its up to you to decide if you want to put in the grueling work.

There are men who would not want to put in the work on that.

My friend with a bipolar wife made a bad decision in marrying her. It has impacted the quality of his life. He's also had a child with her.

My friendship with him has been affected by his bipolar wife. Her behavior can be erratic at times and she has made bizarre social media posts.

My friend was a good seducer prior to meeting his current wife. He could have found a woman less mentally ill than she is.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Then over the next 2 days until we meet again I sense that she freaks out that she's not in control of the relationship, and starts attempting to bargain. She explicitly asks whether I'm seeing other people and clearly wants exclusivity. Then she says she wants me to be more responsive over text, and to call her over the phone, etc...

I would bail on this, OP. Been there done that. I cannot STAND when women get clingy and demanding.

Edit, I've mitigated this behavior in the short term (strong frame) but it always creeps back with a vengeance. Women shouldn't cost so much headspace.