Tip: Women will pick up on your insecurity

[Pandora]

Um. Women are not children in adult bodies. Well some in their 20s might be, but you are not going to tell a female physician or nurse or physical therapist for example where she can or cannot work in a gender integrated society. She will work where the jobs are. In a hospital (for example) that is going to be around lots of men, including some very successful male doctors.

I travel for business. It is required in my career. I work with many male executives & physicians and have since age 22. My husband two weeks after he met said, "I don't like that you have children, and I don't like that you travel for work....."

I was not upset. I simply said, "Ok. Then I'm not the girl for you," and I GOT UP to leave the restaurant. He followed me into the parking lot & asked me to stay. I told him "Look. I cannot change the fact that I have children, I cannot change the fact that my work requires business travel. Those are structural elements of my life, and if that doesn't work for you then this cannot go forward. Simple. No big deal....."

He told me "I know. I have to deal with that. I want to keep seeing you."

So my point is to understand that in non Muslim cultures anyway, you as a man are not going to be able to dictate all this stuff you *think* you are. Not if you want a woman with a good head on her shoulders and her act together. She IS in fact an adult, capable of supporting herself, and capable of being a functional member of society. And a quality woman is going to expect a man to understand and respect that.

Your job as a man is to screen for the kind of woman you want. If you want a "child in an adult body" then good luck with that.....there are those women out there and they have issues to deal with too.

My husband does not have to support me, or support my children for example. They are not his responsibility, they are my responsibility as well as their father's. And only the youngest remains at home finishing high school. The older two are launched into adult life already. My husband does not need to rescue me from myself or set boundaries for me. I had a great father who raised me correctly, who did a great job with all four of us daughters.

A woman who has achieved something in her own life (like owning a business or completing medical school) has worked too hard to allow some man to arbitrarily set "boundaries" that preclude her striving toward her goals.

And mature men who are confident do not feel the need to do this. It is immature men who think this is appropriate.

@BeExcellent you are committing a logical fallacy. You are assuming that most women are like you. They are not. Most women are in fact children in an adult bodies. This is why women love getting dominated by attractive men. This is why they like confidence in a man. Just like a child likes confidence in their parent.

You are in the top 5% of females mentally and professionally. You are able to be on a mens forum and not be hyper emotional etc. 99% of women cant do this.

So respectfully you never dated a woman and you are projecting your own qualities onto others. Btw if women were so mature then why is the Lesbian divorce rate the highest divorce rate at over 80% ?

addendum:

Modern women are children in adult bodies. The old school women that live in rural areas are tough and grow up fast. They still are not equal in competence to men. They are close.

 

[Pandora]

Women can pick up on your insecurities even when you're not around them. I am convinced there is some cosmic force of nature that lets them pick up on it.

That's why I've always thought it was asinine how men try to use certain tactics to appear confident and assured, eg like plate spinning or feigning indifference. You either have it or you don't, and she will know.

Bro exactly. They just know. They will expose any chinks you have in your inner game.

I walked into a room with this one chick who was just my friend. She had flown in from Germany. She was not even from this country. When we walked in she whispered to me " that guy is insecure". Me being a dumb caveman was confused like how can you tell. Months later she was right. He was super insecure.

They pick up on subtle energy that you send. Its creepy how good they are at it.

 

[Pandora]

Where in that did you get being "overly friendly" with men? Listen. This is why character matters in a woman. I'm into MY husband. Men hit on me everywhere from the security line at the airport, to on the plane, the grocery store, the coffee shop. Sometimes right in front of my kids.....and if my husband goes to the men's room. NONE of these guys have a snowball's chance in hell because I'm loyal. Period.

Women with character are not poachable.

So if you didn't choose a secure loyal woman? Nobody can help you my man.

Lol again most infidelity among women happens at the workplace. A man would be an idiot to encourage a woman to work if you could afford her staying at home.

Yes YOU are loyal to your husband. YOU are the exception. Again you project your qualities onto other women. Solipsism.

You say women with character are not poachable and I agree. You should also agree that most people don't have character all the time. Women are ruled by their emotions. Character is not the upmost priority for most women.

There is just a certain amount of perspective that you will never understand because you are not a man. You have not dated dozens of women. You speak from theory. It is nice to have a female perspective but you should also know the limitations of that perspective.

Unless you want to take a 6 month hiatus and date Lesbians.... =))

btw I have a doctor friend who tells me about all the nurses and doctors he bangs in the hospital. Many of these women are married.

 

[Pandora]

Well he's not proposing for him to support me and for me to give up my income either now is he? He's not proposing supporting my daughter. Pros & cons.

Its not about being "alpha".

If you started dating a gal making over 200K a year are you going to have her give up that income engine so you can support her financially? No? The only men who will do that are multimillionares with million dollar plus income per year who find having a woman at his beck & call more important than her contribution to the couple's income stream. Is my husband planning to fund my daughter's university? My retirement? No?

Then I need to retain my lucrative income pal. Pretty simple. My husband makes six figures. He can spend his money on his sport, events, travel and hobbies. I'm not a financial burden to him.

But if you are so wealthy you can tell someone making 250K per year you can afford her lifestyle and she can stop working to devote herself to you? More power to you. But I doubt you are that guy. This is not about "alpha". Not at all.

My son is doing the trad con thing. His wife does not work, will be a dedicated wife & mother and my son is the sole breadwinner. That is awesome and I support them 100%, but that isn't how my life went.

It works for us as my husband isn't interested in a financially dependent woman. And I'm happy taking care of my responsibilities that existed before I met him. We both invest in the relationship & the things we do together & for one another. It works well.

Pros & cons.

If I could find a women like you that was beautiful, made a great income and still respected me then I would have. Most women who make that type of money will not respect their man.

If you respect your man as the leader then you are an exception among exceptions. Clone your DNA please.

 

[plumber]

Well he's not proposing for him to support me and for me to give up my income either now is he? He's not proposing supporting my daughter. Pros & cons.

Its not about being "alpha".

If you started dating a gal making over 200K a year are you going to have her give up that income engine so you can support her financially? No? The only men who will do that are multimillionares with million dollar plus income per year who find having a woman at his beck & call more important than her contribution to the couple's income stream. Is my husband planning to fund my daughter's university? My retirement? No?

Then I need to retain my lucrative income pal. Pretty simple. My husband makes six figures. He can spend his money on his sport, events, travel and hobbies. I'm not a financial burden to him.

But if you are so wealthy you can tell someone making 250K per year you can afford her lifestyle and she can stop working to devote herself to you? More power to you. But I doubt you are that guy. This is not about "alpha". Not at all.

My son is doing the trad con thing. His wife does not work, will be a dedicated wife & mother and my son is the sole breadwinner. That is awesome and I support them 100%, but that isn't how my life went.

It works for us as my husband isn't interested in a financially dependent woman. And I'm happy taking care of my responsibilities that existed before I met him. We both invest in the relationship & the things we do together & for one another. It works well.

Pros & cons.

I like the plan your son has.

And you and your husband should be proud of yourselves to earn that much, it is an accomplishment.

As about what type guy am I, opinions vary...

Sounds also like you have an ok thing going. My comment was to discuss that probably he as a man does not like you getting attention from others and due to work being forced to return the attention. Especially if your an adorable girl like you tell. He is putting up with it because of all the other reasons. Its better for the man if the girl doesn't do that. You can be and do perfect and never stray, but the vibe and energy flowing is not good for him. Its just how it works inside of men. You can keep him in check this way.

Men submitting to women does internal harm to them over time and makes them less attractive due to the results.

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent you are committing a logical fallacy. You are assuming that most women are like you. They are not. Most women are in fact children in an adult bodies. This is why women love getting dominated by attractive men. This is why they like confidence in a man. Just like a child likes confidence in their parent.

You are in the top 5% of females mentally and professionally. You are able to be on a mens forum and not be hyper emotional etc. 99% of women cant do this.

So respectfully you never dated a woman and you are projecting your own qualities onto others. Btw if women were so mature then why is the Lesbian divorce rate the highest divorce rate at over 80% ?

addendum:

Modern women are children in adult bodies. The old school women that live in rural areas are tough and grow up fast. They still are not equal in competence to men. They are close.

That's fair. Truly. But I do know many women who are like me (level headed and emotionally stable and some very successful). Some are dedicated wives & mothers like my daughter-in-law (one was a Rhodes scholar who met her husband in England while she was there and he was in medical school. She gave up her own ambitions to be his wife & they have a lovely family - very stable well adjusted grown kids, 6 of them!) These women who I know are nearly all married. So at some point such women were single. They are most certainly rare. But they do exist.

 

[BeExcellent]

I like the plan your son has.

And you and your husband should be proud of yourselves to earn that much, it is an accomplishment.

As about what type guy am I, opinions vary...

Sounds also like you have an ok thing going. My comment was to discuss that probably he as a man does not like you getting attention from others and due to work being forced to return the attention. Especially if your an adorable girl like you tell. He is putting up with it because of all the other reasons. Its better for the man if the girl doesn't do that. You can be and do perfect and never stray, but the vibe and energy flowing is not good for him. Its just how it works inside of men. You can keep him in check this way.

Men submitting to women does internal harm to them over time and makes them less attractive due to the results.

I understand this. My husband does not submit to me, but it has been a process for him to learn where his lane is. He has no children & has no idea how to parent; he does not have investment real estate & has no idea how to manage that. If he offers input I listen but then do what I know is best to do. He has gotten frustrated at me not following his advice, and I have explained that these are areas in my lane; I don't tell him how to do his profession or his sport. We got together later in life after being established adults and that has its adjustments.

I had to put my family on my back financially after my first husband was double crossed in business. I did so because I was not going to have my family in the poor house when that did not need to occur. Over time it cost me my first marriage because of issues along the lines you note @plumber in addition to my first husband becoming depressed. So I get it. I do.

 

[jhonny9546]

Sometimes women will follow the man, and that's the situation we should look for.

The long lasting and solid LTR that I ever saw in my life have 80% compromises on men

Men submitting to women does internal harm to them over time and makes them less attractive due to the results.

My BIL ended his 7 year LTR with my sister. He told my sister She was changed too much since entered a new job. He didn't want to accept the fact that her job was actually taking her away too much from home and their life goals were going far away from eachother

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Bro exactly. They just know. They will expose any chinks you have in your inner game.

I walked into a room with this one chick who was just my friend. She had flown in from Germany. She was not even from this country. When we walked in she whispered to me " that guy is insecure". Me being a dumb caveman was confused like how can you tell. Months later she was right. He was super insecure.

They pick up on subtle energy that you send. Its creepy how good they are at it.

its perhaps the one thing that women excel at, but it is akin to a superpower

 

[plumber]

The long lasting and solid LTR that I ever saw in my life have 80% compromises on men

My BIL ended his 7 year LTR with my sister. He told my sister She was changed too much since entered a new job. He didn't want to accept the fact that her job was actually taking her away too much from home and their life goals were going far away from eachother

One of the things that happens often is men get into the showing off to others or keeping up with the others financially(think red sports car) Its about ego... Somehow they spend all the money and then need more from the woman, to keep the rich image and let/send the woman to work (the poacher farm). The boss employee situation is powerful.

Women also do this. It ends up in dept prison. Everyone wants to escape from prison and finding a better(not OBVIOUSLY in debt) man is the go to way. Something like hypergamy.

Money is power. Presenting fake money (credit) is showing power (fake).

 

[Sega Genesis]

its perhaps the one thing that women excel at, but it is akin to a superpower

Flex, it's not a superpower, it's simply "female intuition." I can attest to it not just in relationships but in all areas of my life really.

Often times I just sense it, no tangible proof and it doesn't come from insecurity or paranoia, just a gut feeling, a knowing. And I'm very rarely wrong.

"Female intuition" in relationships refers to women's innate ability to sense subtle changes in behavior, emotions or situations within a partnership often leading to an almost instinctive "gut feeling" about what might be happening with her partner, whether it's a positive or negative shift; this is often attributed to a heightened awareness of nonverbal cues and emotional subtleties, allowing women to pick up on signs that others might miss.