Tired Of Not Having Any Beautiful women In My Life (besides my mom and sister)

[Travel memoir21]

OP, it sounds you need better skills when it comes to connecting with people. I highly suggest you go out and read this book.

It teaches you the fundamentals and basics to build rapport and connection with anybody. You must ultimately have good intentions when it comes to approaching women and be willing to GIVE. Give some playful vibes and great aura by building a lifestyle that is great for yourself.


I also suggest before you go out and meet women you listen to late night talk show host interviews of guys like Jimmy Fallon, Jay Leno and Conan O Brien to put you in a social mood. That and also call up a friend and ask how he’s doing. Also do a little body calisthenics exercise like push ups, squats, stretches and burpees etc….then listen to some upbeat positive, uplifting music, then remember something that you are proud of yourself.

Get a wingman or a wingwoman if you can. Preparation is key.

 

[Clockwerk50]

My social circle is nonexistent
Besides women music is my main passion in life
My financial situation is wack
No, I haven't really thought about my USP, how would I communicate something like that to a lady?
Your wardrobe advice is legit but I like classic clothes too
Wait did AI write this post? This seems pretty well-written and formal

I use AI to fix my grammar. The concepts I generally talk about are through the logic of seduction/desire, experience, and theory. Nonetheless, it is difficult to point out what you are failing at since the reality is, we do not know what you are failing at. I would follow my advice and get a personality and find your USP. Musicians can get laid pretty easily. Maybe start there…

Try reading one of this books. Just pick one. It will help you tons.

Atomic Attraction - Christopher Canwell
Models - Mark Manson
How To Be a 3% Man - Corey Wayne

 

[corrector]

My social circle is nonexistent
Besides women music is my main passion in life
My financial situation is wack
No, I haven't really thought about my USP, how would I communicate something like that to a lady?
Your wardrobe advice is legit but I like classic clothes too
Wait did AI write this post? This seems pretty well-written and formal

What type of music do you like listening to? Having a bad financial situation in your 20s is terrible. While money can't buy love/women, you don't have the logistics (ie where would you even take a girl if you live at home). These things are like carrying a heavy weight, and I think subconciously you would want somethings to fail so you have an out where a woman won't go deeper into your set-up and end up rejecting you because you don't measure up. Maybe you are choosing to behave in ways that will get you to be kicked out of venues so you won't have to deal with that while at the same time having a checkbox you tried.

 

[BeExcellent]

So here is the issue OP, as I see.

You are trying to get to a place of abundance coming from a mindset of lack. You can't get there from where you are coming from. It's not possible. It would be like trying to drive from California to Hawaii. It's not happening.

Looking at it from an outside perspective, you want all the results from doing the right things now, but you haven't done any of the right things yet that gets you the results over time.

That's a problem. See the results don't just happen. The results are a byproduct over time of you putting in the work into yourself over and over and over again. And not because you want to get women, because you want to improve yourself. You ALWAYS should be doing this for YOU and YOU only. Everything else that comes along with it is a result of this.

Into working out and getting into shape. Into getting yourself right from a financial standpoint. Into getting yourself right from a mindset and mentality standpoint so that when you talk to women you are projecting confidence and fun and sexiness instead of whatever you seem to be projecting now which is scaring them away and making them so afraid they are kicking you out of places. Likely because you are angry and mad at them rejecting you.

But see...they aren't rejecting you. They are simply giving you valuable feedback and what that feedback should tell you is that you need to do the work if you want the results.

There will be no results without you doing the work first, and likely a lot of it.

What you are doing right now is akin to complaining you want a job and nobody will hire you but you are trying to apply for jobs you aren't qualified for yet. You want to be hired as a doctor without going to medical school and passing the medical boards. You want to become a lawyer without going to law school and passing the bar exam.

In no other place in life does what you are trying to do exist, so why would you think it exists with women?

Most of the time in life you don't get what you want, you get what you've earned. From what you posted, you haven't earned much, so if you want the results to change I would suggest changing what you earn.

The above is absolute truth and I cannot agree more strongly. Please read and re read the above.

If you have issues like ASD? Get evaluated and seek insight on how to better interact with people all around you (hint: it ain't all about you dude).

Get a good haircut, shave, get a fitness program going and find work to earn money. That is where your focus needs to be right now. Those are foundational building blocks for your life.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Even if you're Chad Thundercoq you're not getting many hot matches because there are simply so few on there.

I used to think that too, but from experience that's not true. I've refined a method that has me lining up one to four dates every weekend consistently with 8+. I hardly swipe at this point. But I would say I'm in the top 5-10%.

@ocho_da_musician
With that many approaches under your belt your game should be flawless. Your problem is you think a girl is a solution to your problems, and you're distracting yourself from the hard work by trying to pick up a girl. We all do it, but you need to recognize when to step back and grind. As others have mentioned, you're putting the cart before the horse. It's all just feedback, so listen to it, what's it telling you?

Think about it, what are you bringing to the table? You're broke, you're malnourished, you don't even have a spot where she can walk around naked. I mean why do you want a girl right now anyway? Your priority should always be coming up. When you hit a new level you'll know because people will treat you differently. Trust the process and get after it.

Your life is the sundae, the girl is the cherry on top. She's optional, she's a bonus, not the main goal. Get to the point where when a girl rejects you, you think "lol her loss" and move on without a second thought. There are four billion women on this planet, you will run into hot ones without trying, so just focus on networking, building an empire, getting fit, finding passionate hobbies, and over time you'll see easy lay up opportunities to capitalize on.

And for some direct advice with your approaches, just have conversations, don't even think about anything developing for now. Say something to break the ice and ask a random question about her or the situation. If she asks one back just enjoy the conversation, if she doesn't then move on with life. Most of all, only approach when you're out for something anyway. Going to a show and see a cute girl sitting next to you? Ask her about the show and have a friendly chat. In line at the store and see a cutie behind you, crack a joke and see if she smiles. No need to hunt women down, just see if the universe puts her next to you as you go after your goals.

Forget pulling these women, you aren't there, just enjoy their presence and learn to have fun chats. Take your time, what's the rush?

Lots of good stuff in this thread, take it all in and dig deeper. There's lots of good threads here where guys worse than you are helped.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Here are a couple of simple things you can do:

1. Loose the oversized white shirt. This ain't the 1930s industrial revolution. Get some solid color quality t shirts. Wear those. On your coloring: Dark grey/charcoal, navy, black, dark green. You want fitted. You are tall and not fat. Much better than being overweight, but the guys are right, you need to work out to develop your physique.

2. Your body language is off putting in your photo. You are standing in too wide a stance and grasping at your own arms like you are trying to hold yourself up and/or hide behind your arms.

3. Annie Leibovitz? Seriously? I assume that is a joke but if so it is both obtuse and insulting to her (were she to see it) because she'd never take such a photo (and as one of the most respected fashion photographers in the world, she would have had your wardrobe & body language on point.....) that comment alone does indicate issues with social calibration/appropriateness, which is a hallmark of the spectrum. At best its a rather odd/weird comment but my guess is most of the guys have no idea who Annie Liebovitz is, so the reference is likely lost on them.

4. You appear to see women as "hoes" instead of human beings. Stop. Like @EyeOnThePrize advised you need to be practicing having conversations with people around you.

Why are you in therapy? No need for a dissertation but give us a clue like "anxiety" or "anger management" or "depression". That helps to understand the mental states you are managing, which in turn can help us advise you.

Sorry for you losing your friend. If he was well intentioned and people find something odd or "off" about you, maybe your friend is correct. Get an eval to help you understand yourself better.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I remember getting kicked out of my local Walmart because people were claiming that I was harassing customers. Even bars and clubs have ejecting for apparently creeping people out. Guys, my intention is not to harass girls, it's to charm and seduce

So what aspects of your behavior did the staff find "harassing" and "creepy"?

 

[kavi]

Bro your way out of line here non of this is gonna work for you lols.

Firstly you need more basic experience around girls and social groups.

You need to determine your level of attractiveness. Which type of girls will find you attractive? For this you need to spend time around women and men observing which type of girls like you. If your a 6 then girls around 6 or so may like you.

Then you need to understand the (body) LANGUAGE of social dynamics. This is when socialising or just being around women (and men) learn to read non verbal communication. You need the skills to verify what body language means.

Then when you go to approach women you should first look for non verbal signs of interest THEN approach those who show some interest. Or approach the type of girls who are likely to find you attractive. If your a 6 in looks then approaching 8s wont work unless your game leve is super high.

Bruh you need loads of calibration but without that if you mass approaching your rejection rate will be like 99%.

 

[ocho_da_musician]

OP, it sounds you need better skills when it comes to connecting with people. I highly suggest you go out and read this book.

It teaches you the fundamentals and basics to build rapport and connection with anybody. You must ultimately have good intentions when it comes to approaching women and be willing to GIVE. Give some playful vibes and great aura by building a lifestyle that is great for yourself.


I also suggest before you go out and meet women you listen to late night talk show host interviews of guys like Jimmy Fallon, Jay Leno and Conan O Brien to put you in a social mood. That and also call up a friend and ask how he’s doing. Also do a little body calisthenics exercise like push ups, squats, stretches and burpees etc….then listen to some upbeat positive, uplifting music, then remember something that you are proud of yourself.

Get a wingman or a wingwoman if you can. Preparation is key.

View attachment 13875

I remember reading that book back in 2018, I guess I need to refresh that memory
I'm a Stephen Colbert fan myself
Thanks for the advice though

 

[ocho_da_musician]

What type of music do you like listening to? Having a bad financial situation in your 20s is terrible. While money can't buy love/women, you don't have the logistics (ie where would you even take a girl if you live at home). These things are like carrying a heavy weight, and I think subconciously you would want somethings to fail so you have an out where a woman won't go deeper into your set-up and end up rejecting you because you don't measure up. Maybe you are choosing to behave in ways that will get you to be kicked out of venues so you won't have to deal with that while at the same time having a checkbox you tried.

I like a wide variety of music but I usually find myself listening to instrumental tracks on the website jeejuh.com
I'm not sure if I agree with your theory that I'm subconsciously wanting things to fail with women because of my insecurities around my living situation

 

[ocho_da_musician]

Advice from the old lady:

Here are a couple of simple things you can do:

1. Loose the oversized white shirt. This ain't the 1930s industrial revolution. Get some solid color quality t shirts. Wear those. On your coloring: Dark grey/charcoal, navy, black, dark green. You want fitted. You are tall and not fat. Much better than being overweight, but the guys are right, you need to work out to develop your physique.

2. Your body language is off putting in your photo. You are standing in too wide a stance and grasping at your own arms like you are trying to hold yourself up and/or hide behind your arms.

3. Annie Leibovitz? Seriously? I assume that is a joke but if so it is both obtuse and insulting to her (were she to see it) because she'd never take such a photo (and as one of the most respected fashion photographers in the world, she would have had your wardrobe & body language on point.....) that comment alone does indicate issues with social calibration/appropriateness, which is a hallmark of the spectrum. At best its a rather odd/weird comment but my guess is most of the guys have no idea who Annie Liebovitz is, so the reference is likely lost on them.

4. You appear to see women as "hoes" instead of human beings. Stop. Like @EyeOnThePrize advised you need to be practicing having conversations with people around you.

Why are you in therapy? No need for a dissertation but give us a clue like "anxiety" or "anger management" or "depression". That helps to understand the mental states you are managing, which in turn can help us advise you.

Sorry for you losing your friend. If he was well intentioned and people find something odd or "off" about you, maybe your friend is correct. Get an eval to help you understand yourself better.

That "Industrial Revolution" comment is pretty funny, I'll give you that
I think you're taking the Leibovitz joke too seriously
It's pretty obvious to me that women are human beings. But here's the thing, gangsta rappers who call women "b*tches" and "hoes" all day are likely getting more action than anybody on this thread
I'm not currently in therapy right now but I've spoken to counselors/therapists in the past
Thanks for the condolences about my friend

 

[ocho_da_musician]

Bro your way out of line here non of this is gonna work for you lols.

Firstly you need more basic experience around girls and social groups.

You need to determine your level of attractiveness. Which type of girls will find you attractive? For this you need to spend time around women and men observing which type of girls like you. If your a 6 then girls around 6 or so may like you.

Then you need to understand the (body) LANGUAGE of social dynamics. This is when socialising or just being around women (and men) learn to read non verbal communication. You need the skills to verify what body language means.

Then when you go to approach women you should first look for non verbal signs of interest THEN approach those who show some interest. Or approach the type of girls who are likely to find you attractive. If your a 6 in looks then approaching 8s wont work unless your game leve is super high.

Bruh you need loads of calibration but without that if you mass approaching your rejection rate will be like 99%.

OK I've went to school, I've had jobs, I don't really remember girls showing me much interest at all
what if women never give me any non-verbal signs? am I just done for?
And isn't the scale rating subjective anyway? One person's 10 is another person's 7, etc.

 

[corrector]

I like a wide variety of music but I usually find myself listening to instrumental tracks on the website jeejuh.com
I'm not sure if I agree with your theory that I'm subconsciously wanting things to fail with women because of my insecurities around my living situation

It probably does not help either. I have a similar, if not worst living situation then you do. There are other guys on here that aren't doing well in the ladies department, and have eithe autism, or are on a spectrum, and they not totally independent (ie wage is too low, working with door dash or precarious employment), and unless someone had chad-tier looks like they can kill it on OLD (ie which we clearly don't) and have women visit them despite their living situation, it's a real up-hill battle. I mean you have to be realistic that this is a long-shot to begin with. Perhaps managing your expectations can help.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Hey, op. Hope you find a job soon.

Being a musician will be a plus (eventually): I believe its one of those things that make girls even more attracted to you (but only if they were already attracted to you in the 1st place)

About your photo/wardrobe, hopefully you find something useful here:

Hot man summer (equivalent of "hot girl summer" ) is around the corner..

How are y'all doing my ss bros. Lets learn from the opposite sex. The summer is around the corner, so its yet another opportunity to reap some female connections. Make sure you don't miss put on all the action. Summer is like a big party . Women will dress like slvts, longing for adventure...

www.sosuave.net

What are your favorite Go-to outfits?

Kind of inspired by @Gamisch Hot Man Summer thread, I thought of making a thread about what we wear. We all have (or should have) a few go-to favorites. Mine are: - Black jeans with nice shoes, nice shirt, and nice watch. (Edit: Actually, nice shoes are always a default for me). - Black jeans...

www.sosuave.net

 

[nicksaiz65]

Out of curiosity, OP, are you a full time musician?

 

[ocho_da_musician]

Out of curiosity, OP, are you a full time musician?

no

 

[ocho_da_musician]

Hey, op. Hope you find a job soon.

Being a musician will be a plus (eventually): I believe its one of those things that make girls even more attracted to you (but only if they were already attracted to you in the 1st place)

About your photo/wardrobe, hopefully you find something useful here:

Hot man summer (equivalent of "hot girl summer" ) is around the corner..

How are y'all doing my ss bros. Lets learn from the opposite sex. The summer is around the corner, so its yet another opportunity to reap some female connections. Make sure you don't miss put on all the action. Summer is like a big party . Women will dress like slvts, longing for adventure...

www.sosuave.net

What are your favorite Go-to outfits?

Kind of inspired by @Gamisch Hot Man Summer thread, I thought of making a thread about what we wear. We all have (or should have) a few go-to favorites. Mine are: - Black jeans with nice shoes, nice shirt, and nice watch. (Edit: Actually, nice shoes are always a default for me). - Black jeans...

www.sosuave.net

thank you

 

[BPH]

I used to think that too, but from experience that's not true. I've refined a method that has me lining up one to four dates every weekend consistently with 8+. I hardly swipe at this point. But I would say I'm in the top 5-10%.

What I mean is that I'm barely swiping right, so if I were "killing it" on the dating apps that means I would probably be taking a dip in quality.

This is probably most dependent on where you live though. Suburban Delaware isn't exactly known for producing dimes.

 

[Manure Spherian]

View attachment 13870
Here's a pic of me taken a few months ago by my good friend Annie Leibovitz, sorry for low quality

Dude, with all the sorts of modern fits out there, this square design of shirt should be tossed, especially considering it’s too big on you and you are slim.

 

[SW15]

Suburban Delaware isn't exactly known for producing dimes.

True.

You are only 35 miles from Philadelphia. Philadelphia is superior to Wilmington. I have heard that Philadelphia women are not that impressive on looks compared to a lot of other big cities.

Cold approaching is a really crappy way to meet girls

This is generally true. It is inefficient when it is effective. The only thing that keeps approaching strangers in real life alive as an option is that the swipe apps are worse and Instagram game isn't going to be applicable for most men.

My social circle is nonexistent

When that's true, your options are...

1. Approaching strangers in real life
2. Using swipe apps
3. Sending DMs on Instagram and other social media platforms

I doubt you'd make a great impression in DMs on any social media platform. Competition on swipe apps is fierce.

The most common rejection I've heard is "Sorry, I have a boyfriend."

That's a sign your game is weak. I heard that excuse more in the 2000s earlier in my seduction journey. I haven't heard that excuse much from 2010-present. I thought the IHAB (I have a boyfriend) excuse was dead until I saw this approach video from 2021 with an approach beginner getting blown out in outdoor daygame approaches.

I lost a close friend to cancer recently but before he died he told me that I might be autistic. I still need professional evaluation.

There's a chance that is true. Get the evaluation on it. Being on the autism spectrum makes getting laid far more difficult.