Forget what we say. Do what you wanna do, you don't daddy making a decision for you, so make a decision, let her go or text her.Ok, but what would have been the correct course of action?
some guys proposed to text her and setup a date?
otherw suggested to do nothing and let her reach out?
A bit judgy perhaps ol' boy?? Well once you get off your high horse of self righteousness you'll see that humour is a way to be lighthearted about life.This sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that you married a winner.
You making of fun of your husband for having a condition says a lot about you, you appear having a successful life, but a wife who respects her husband won't fun of him, and much less with another female. Congrats, you married a trophy hubby so you can present him to everyone like he's the Chad with all the great qualities, but in reality is an outcast of society with zero social skills, you are the equivalent of a male millionaire who marries a trophy wife cause she's hot, but in reality she is a retard.
I worry about my life and what advice I give because of what this gentleman wrote:A bit judgy perhaps ol' boy?? Well once you get off your high horse of self righteousness you'll see that humour is a way to be lighthearted about life.
I am flattered that you seem to think he is a trophy.....certainly plenty of men would love to trade places with him in many ways.
The TV show "The Big Bang" features an Aspie main character, Sheldon, and much of the humor in that show derives from his misadventures in social cues, while also demonstrating his intelligence and nerdiness and sweet nature. Another show "The Good Doctor" also features an autistic main character, who is a physician. The reason those shows are so popular is they resonate with people; art imitating life as it were.
ALL the men I date are very handsome & accomplished. That's my landscape and always has been. I don't see looks or accomplishment as a trophy, lol. Those things are prerequisites for me. Clearly you seem to think neurodiversity is a "retard" of some sort, but it is simply a difference in neurologic composition and focus, and it can be quite amusing the miscues that occur between a neurotypical individual and a neurodiverse individual.
You are probably that guy who gets super offended when comedians make jokes about racial generalities, but give it a rest about my husband. Jeez.
The medical community is still trying to figure out how to properly characterize neurodiverse people, and if you look at the versions of the DSM since the early 1980s forward you will see this. The social aspect of interpersonal interactions can be quite difficult for people with these conditions, but it varies widely.
I married my husband because I love him. And I love him for all the right reasons. Yes he's handsome. But so is any man I'd consider, sheesh.
I find it funny that you are so indignant about by life, which I am living just fine, thank you so much.
Relax. Take a deep breath. Worry about your own life. We are all good over here.
Cheers.
The reason this is relevant is because you counsel men here on the virtues and importance of alpha men
Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Good advice is good advice no matter who is giving it.Yes. Imagine a 55 year old man advising 18 year old women. There is a name for that:
Father.
The same as I advise my children who are 22, 19 and 16. You see people with life experience are never at the mercy of someone with a theory.
Only there are so many young women running around with "daddy issues" that there is an obvious shortage of good fathers these days. Fortunately my ex husband, for all his personal shortcomings, is a great father. He is open and transparent about why his life is how it is; he owns and is accountable.
@New_Journey my husband knows I am here. So does my son. My husband knows some people here through me. This is an anonymous forum for obvious reasons. Because of that I can share freely. So I do.
And there are people, like you, who insult me and shame me from time to time. Big deal. You think you can hurt my feelings? You aren't important enough to be able to. Sorry to burst your bubble. If I posted the same advice but as a man, it is still the same good advice but without the flak for being female. No worries. It's a male space & I believe the world needs more capable men.
Know why I start posts with the tag line "Advice from the old lady"? It's transparent. It started as a nod to some young men nearly 10 years ago who think some woman old enough to be their mother or grandmother must be a cat lady and ugly and couldn't possibly have anything worthwhile to contribute. The avatar is me in my 50s. I am obviously attractive and always have been.
There are a number of posters here who are 50+, from all over the world. But here's the thing my dear. People who are 40+, 50+, 60+, 70+? We were in our teens/20s/30s before. In some cases before you were born. We didn't just get born at 50+ with no other life experience, and our brains did not get erased, and NO, people and dating are not THAT different. Technology has changed. People? Not so much.
You have an ignore button. Feel free to use it. But don't worry about saving other posters from my advice. They have brains. They can read & discern things.
Worry more about your own qualifications, you who won't even list his age. Lol.
Let me guess, 34, never married, no kids, living somewhere outside the US. Obviously lacking a sense of humor but with an ego the size of Austraila.
You aren't the first new guy to come at me & you won't be the last. Yawn.
For what it’s worth, she is in here explaining her rationale. There is a lot to be said about being open to criticism. I asked @Manure Spherian the following a couple of weeks ago when he was suggesting that certain age groups don’t mix, which directly contradicts my personal experience . I didn’t get an answer. I’m just pointing it out, because he liked my original post to @BeExcellentI worry about my life and what advice I give because of what this gentleman wrote:
Smart people challenge each other as a form of learning, so if you are going to teach, expect to be challenged.
- Your hubby is the perfect Adonis with all the quality of a HVM but without kids. Other members questions why would a perfect guy will marry a 50yo woman and when he has no kids, like he is the exception to the rule. But the reason is he has asperges or autism which is fine, but is good to know that your experiences do not reflect the average HVM (or Alpha) which men in here should aim to become.
- In other posts you throw the dirty laundry of you husband onto us
- In other post you make fun of him with your female friend which is in the same circumstances.
Gentlemen, this the perfect example of a woman not respecting her husband. What would you guys do if you find your woman is saying your dirty laundry to a bunch of online randoms? Your advices do not reflect what the average HVM go through. Otherwise, you would not be here, a 55 yo woman in a forum a 99% men from 18-40 active members. Imagine 55 yo guy in a forum where 18 yo girls ask for dating advice. That's why I challenge your advices.
In the 90’s when I was in my teens, where I went to school and grew up, few people cared about sports and lifting and few were gorgeous men. Those who got first dibs were scumbags, criminals, and rich boys. I’m not kidding.
You’re over 50 years old and memory serves your married to a childhood sweetheart. What would be your basis for giving any advice on the dating tendencies of younger women and middle age men?
I ask this because I am 40, and at 37, the only women I seriously fooled around with post separation were attractive, in their 20’s, save for the 36 year old that jumped on me 8 days removed from my marriage.
What forms the basis for what you are trying to say and what good does it honestly serve to try and dissuade men from doing what they want to try and do?
I don't need to ignore you, like I said I challenge everyone's advice and you no different. A 55yo guy in a dating advice site is not a father, he's not related to any of those young girls, he's a creep.Yes. Imagine a 55 year old man advising 18 year old women. There is a name for that:
Father.
The same as I advise my children who are 22, 19 and 16. You see people with life experience are never at the mercy of someone with a theory.
Only there are so many young women running around with "daddy issues" that there is an obvious shortage of good fathers these days. Fortunately my ex husband, for all his personal shortcomings, is a great father. He is open and transparent about why his life is how it is; he owns and is accountable.
@New_Journey my husband knows I am here. So does my son. My husband knows some people here through me. This is an anonymous forum for obvious reasons. Because of that I can share freely. So I do.
And there are people, like you, who insult me and shame me from time to time. Big deal. You think you can hurt my feelings? You aren't important enough to be able to. Sorry to burst your bubble. If I posted the same advice but as a man, it is still the same good advice but without the flak for being female. No worries. It's a male space & I believe the world needs more capable men.
Know why I start posts with the tag line "Advice from the old lady"? It's transparent. It started as a nod to some young men nearly 10 years ago who think some woman old enough to be their mother or grandmother must be a cat lady and ugly and couldn't possibly have anything worthwhile to contribute. The avatar is me in my 50s. I am obviously attractive and always have been.
There are a number of posters here who are 50+, from all over the world. But here's the thing my dear. People who are 40+, 50+, 60+, 70+? We were in our teens/20s/30s before. In some cases before you were born. We didn't just get born at 50+ with no other life experience, and our brains did not get erased, and NO, people and dating are not THAT different. Technology has changed. People? Not so much.
You have an ignore button. Feel free to use it. But don't worry about saving other posters from my advice. They have brains. They can read & discern things.
Worry more about your own qualifications, you who won't even list his age. Lol.
Let me guess, 34, never married, no kids, living somewhere outside the US. Obviously lacking a sense of humor but with an ego the size of Austraila.
You aren't the first new guy to come at me & you won't be the last. Yawn.
35 living in Texas, advising guys how to be better.Let me guess, 34, never married, no kids, living somewhere outside the US. Obviously lacking a sense of humor but with an ego the size of Austraila.
Not too far off base.I don't need to ignore you, like I said I challenge everyone's advice and you no different. A 55yo guy in a dating advice site is not a father, he's not related to any of those young girls, he's a creep.
But if you as a teacher and mother, don't like people challenging your advice and taking it like it is, from a stranger on the internet who can have a virtual fake life, then you have to say it.
35 living in Texas, advising guys how to be better.
Hi @BeExcellent , just curious but since your hubs knows you're here and could easily browse the site and find your posts, are you at all concerned that he would do so and how he might feel upon reading some of the "less than flattering" things you post?my husband knows I am here.
This forum is anonymous. Also, there is NOTHING here that I have not discussed with him directly. There are plenty of things that we discuss (good, bad & neutral) that I do not discuss here.Hi @BeExcellent , just curious but since your hubs knows you're here and could easily browse the site and find your posts, are you at all concerned that he would do so and how he might feel upon reading some of the "less than flattering" things you post?
One need not become a member to browse and read.
I recall one particular post wherein you stated that some of his actions were causing you to lose respect for him. Ouch.
I mean no offense I promise, I'm just genuinely curious about it.
Again I meant no offense @ Be and I'm not fascinated with your life nor was I making an assumption.This forum is anonymous. Also, there is NOTHING here that I have not discussed with him directly. There are plenty of things that we discuss (good, bad & neutral) that I do not discuss here.
I am VERY direct & transparent with him. If he reads....he reads. There won't be any surprises. He knows a little about occassional situations where someone reached out in DM for advice to me for example...and those situations are kept anonymous too.
There have been members along the way who have jettisoned their participation here because the woman/women in their life found out etc.
What I'm curious about is why you appear to assume I'm saying things here I wouldn't say to his face?
Perhaps I'm wrong about you making that assumption.....I certainly hope I am wrong.
I am also curious about the fascination with the details of my life as well as the focus on the negative side of things. We love one another and the relationship is imperfect. Imperfect does not mean bad. It means we are a married couple figuring it out as all married couples do given their particulars.
I mean if someone says "Aha! All is not unicorns and rainbows!!!" Well duh. Real life is not fantasy land, although its generally good.
Unlike many women I am very direct and I am not conflict averse. I tell it how it is and I'm honest. Are those tough conversations sometimes? Sure. Do you want the truth or do you want someone to blow sunshine up your backside? I want the truth, however raw it may be. He appreciates that about me; it builds trust.
Here's what you gotta grasp. The above is your truth. And it holds true for many men, granted. But its not true for everyone. People are all over the place. Hell on this forum we have a 32 year old dude who prefers women 10+ years older. I know a very masculine guy who is 60 or so who is very fit, very sexy, and has a live in LTR who he finds super sexy but he has told me he doesn't want sex with anyone more than once or twice a week. He appreciates not "seeing red" because of his sex drive like in his youth.I’m 56. No guy in their 50s with elite looks, status and/or wealth would choose to date let alone marry a 50+ year old woman if he has plenty of much younger options. Men primarily value youth and beauty in women and a 50+ year old woman simply can’t compete with younger models in this regard.
Unless a very high value guy has very low testosterone or is completely hopeless with interacting with women/game/seduction I guarantee he will be regularly fantasising about s*x with much younger, more attractive women and most likely acting on this impulse when the opportunity arises.
I know this message won’t resonate well with the women on this forum but women simply cannot comprehend the strength of the male s*x drive and the need for variety particularly with young attractive women. It will trump love, emotional connection and all those other things that women think their partners care about more.
i think I read a study once where a group of women were injected with high doses of testosterone. Half the women wanted to have s*x immediately and the other half begged the research team to ‘make it stop’ as they just couldn’t handle the urge to have s*x.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
We come here to get advice, but when somebody who gives advice all the time openly complains about the flaws of her husband the guy who she chose to marry, it doesn't look right.This forum is anonymous. Also, there is NOTHING here that I have not discussed with him directly. There are plenty of things that we discuss (good, bad & neutral) that I do not discuss here.
I am VERY direct & transparent with him. If he reads....he reads. There won't be any surprises. He knows a little about occassional situations where someone reached out in DM for advice to me for example...and those situations are kept anonymous too.
There have been members along the way who have jettisoned their participation here because the woman/women in their life found out etc.
What I'm curious about is why you appear to assume I'm saying things here I wouldn't say to his face?
Perhaps I'm wrong about you making that assumption.....I certainly hope I am wrong.
I am also curious about the fascination with the details of my life as well as the focus on the negative side of things. We love one another and the relationship is imperfect. Imperfect does not mean bad. It means we are a married couple figuring it out as all married couples do given their particulars.
I mean if someone says "Aha! All is not unicorns and rainbows!!!" Well duh. Real life is not fantasy land, although its generally good.
Unlike many women I am very direct and I am not conflict averse. I tell it how it is and I'm honest. Are those tough conversations sometimes? Sure. Do you want the truth or do you want someone to blow sunshine up your backside? I want the truth, however raw it may be. He appreciates that about me; it builds trust.
The guy is an autist, he is an outcast from society, that's the only reason he's with her, cause no other women can stand him. Like the saying goes, there is a lid for every pot.I’m 56. No guy in their 50s with elite looks, status and/or wealth would choose to date let alone marry a 50+ year old woman if he has plenty of much younger options. Men primarily value youth and beauty in women and a 50+ year old woman simply can’t compete with younger models in this regard.
Unless a very high value guy has very low testosterone or is completely hopeless with interacting with women/game/seduction I guarantee he will be regularly fantasising about s*x with much younger, more attractive women and most likely acting on this impulse when the opportunity arises.
I know this message won’t resonate well with the women on this forum but women simply cannot comprehend the strength of the male s*x drive and the need for variety particularly with young attractive women. It will trump love, emotional connection and all those other things that women think their partners care about more.
i think I read a study once where a group of women were injected with high doses of testosterone. Half the women wanted to have s*x immediately and the other half begged the research team to ‘make it stop’ as they just couldn’t handle the urge to have s*x.
The guy is an autist, he is an outcast from society, that's the only reason he's with her, cause no other women can stand him. Like the saying goes, there is a lid for every pot.I’m 56. No guy in their 50s with elite looks, status and/or wealth would choose to date let alone marry a 50+ year old woman if he has plenty of much younger options. Men primarily value youth and beauty in women and a 50+ year old woman simply can’t compete with younger models in this regard.
Unless a very high value guy has very low testosterone or is completely hopeless with interacting with women/game/seduction I guarantee he will be regularly fantasising about s*x with much younger, more attractive women and most likely acting on this impulse when the opportunity arises.
I know this message won’t resonate well with the women on this forum but women simply cannot comprehend the strength of the male s*x drive and the need for variety particularly with young attractive women. It will trump love, emotional connection and all those other things that women think their partners care about more.
i think I read a study once where a group of women were injected with high doses of testosterone. Half the women wanted to have s*x immediately and the other half begged the research team to ‘make it stop’ as they just couldn’t handle the urge to have s*x.
Well speaking only for myself I do understand it, and I didn't say nor do I believe that emotional connection should trump or be valued "more" but it shouldn't be dismissed entirely either imo and experienceI know this message won’t resonate well with the women on this forum but women simply cannot comprehend the strength of the male s*x drive and the need for variety particularly with young attractive women. It will trump love, emotional connection and all those other things that women think their partners care about more.
Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.