Harsh Truth: Women pursue the men that they want

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Not necessarily guaranteed...but a lot more likely than socially awkward/inept men in 2025.

yeah because i read in a book that talks about the history of men approaching, it contradicted some info, it explained about the history of arranged marriage, people being set up, and then it also mentioned this, it said:

"Men initiating
an
interaction
with women has always been (and always will be) a fundamental part of courtship. From the ancient days until now, it’s been primarily up to a man to commence a possible connection between two people."

 

[GoodMan32]

yeah because i read in a book that talks about the history of men approaching, it contradicted some info, it explained about the history of arranged marriage, people being set up, and then it also mentioned this, it said:

"Men initiating
an
interaction
with women has always been (and always will be) a fundamental part of courtship. From the ancient days until now, it’s been primarily up to a man to commence a possible connection between two people."

Even if arranged marriage used to exist here, I'm not sure we were ever as big on arranged marriage as, say, India.

So I suppose it makes sense that men in western countries have always had to initiate to some degree.

Here's where the difference lies between 1825 and 2025, however. In 1825, a woman needed a man for survival. A woman in 1825 couldn't afford to "next" a man for trivial offenses (and riding the c0ck carousel wouldn't have been practical in 1825)

 

[GoodMan32]

Have you heard of the Golden IQ?

No, I have not.

I have an idea of what the Golden IQ might refer to.

If your IQ is too high, you tend to struggle socially (whether it be because of ASD, some other social ailment, or simply because you have a hard time relating to normies)

The Golden IQ, if I had to guess, is the sweet spot: Above average, yet not so high to where you'll struggle socially.

The Stanford Binet test placed my IQ in the 130s. The Wonderlic placed my IQ in the 140s. The SAT-to-IQ estimate placed my IQ in the 115-120 range.

In other words, 2 of the 3 sources place me at genius or near-genius levels. Would explain a lot (as to why I struggle with the ladies)

 

[SW15]

Since the subject of this thread in women's mating choices, let's tie the concept of male intelligence back to conventional mating and the mating dance.

In the early stages of interactions, women are the gatekeepers. Women are the gatekeepers to sex and to early stage dates. Sex is one of the most foundational parts of a mating interaction. When sex happens in conventional mating, it either happens after some number of dates (a social framework of an interaction) or from a spontaneous, same night interaction at a nightlife venue.

Men's intelligence is part of how women decide about which men to let through the gates to sex. Attraction and seduction are based on looks, money, status, and personality. Men's intelligence can be a partial factor in money, status, and personality. It could tangentially relate to looks based on the decisions men make with choosing to spend time focusing on physique and appearance related activities.

When intelligence is discussed, it's most discussed around a metric of Intelligence Quotient (IQ). That is one way of measuring raw intelligence. It's an imperfect metric, but that's a side discussion for a different thread.

When intelligence is measured with the IQ metric, there's something noticeable when it is examined by biological sex. Women's IQ's tend to cluster around a certain range with limited variability. The difference between the highest scoring IQ women and the lowest scoring IQ women isn't that great. Men's IQ scores tend to have greater variety. The difference between the highest scoring IQ men and the lowest scoring IQ men is much greater than the variance in female scores.

IQ does not measure sociability, social cues, or emotional management. As humans, we are social beings who live in an interactive environment. The psychology discipline was researching this many decades ago. This idea gained traction in psychology in the 1950s-1960s, but really took off in the 1990s based on the work of Daniel Goleman, who wrote Emotional Intelligence in 1995. There's an idea of an Emotional Quotient (EQ) that functions alongside of the Intelligence Quotient (IQ). One's emotional skills as measured by some EQ metric have impact on the course of one's life similar to IQ.

Why am I bothering to mention all of this? How does this relate to mating and getting your penis wet?

It is known that women tend to operate more emotionally/feeling based and men tend to operate more rationally/factually based.

In mating interactions, women tend to make decisions based on feelings in the moment. With interactions with more intelligent men, they often find it more difficult to make those emotional connections that will create the feelings necessary for sex to happen. Many high IQ intelligent men tend to lack emotional management skills and have low EQ scores. While these men do well in the rational/factual world, they have poor social skills and poor emotional management skills. Therefore, in dealings with women, they don't emotionally connect with them and fail to get laid with them.

This has less of an impact in hiring decisions for white collar STEM type jobs, as more of that is based on IQ than EQ.

Success in mating, especially early stage mating, is more related to one's emotional management and social skills. Men with middle of the bell curve IQs (or even low IQ men) tend to have stronger EQs and are more relatable to women.

 

[GoodMan32]

Since the subject of this thread in women's mating choices, let's tie the concept of male intelligence back to conventional mating and the mating dance.

In the early stages of interactions, women are the gatekeepers. Women are the gatekeepers to sex. Sex is one of the most foundational parts of a mating interaction. When sex happens in conventional mating, it either happens after some number of dates (a social framework of an interaction) or from a spontaneous, same night interaction at a nightlife venue.

Men's intelligence is part of how women decide about which men to let through the gates to sex. Attraction and seduction are based on looks, money, status, and personality. Men's intelligence can be a partial factor in money, status, and personality. It could tangentially relate to looks based on the decisions men make with choosing to spend time focusing on physique and appearance related activities.

When intelligence is discussed, it's most discussed around a metric of Intelligence Quotient (IQ). That is one way of measuring raw intelligence. It's an imperfect metric, but that's a side discussion for a different thread.

When intelligence is measured with the IQ metric, there's something noticeable when it is examined by biological sex. Women's IQ's tend to cluster around a certain range with limited variability. The difference between the highest scoring IQ women and the lowest scoring IQ women isn't that great. Men's IQ scores tend to have greater variety. The difference between the highest scoring IQ men and the lowest scoring IQ men is much greater than the variance in female scores.

IQ does not measure sociability, social cues, or emotional management. As humans, we are social beings who live in an interactive environment. The psychology discipline was researching this many decades ago. This idea gained traction in psychology in the 1950s-1960s, but really took off in the 1990s based on the work of Daniel Goleman, who wrote Emotional Intelligence in 1995. There's an idea of an Emotional Quotient (EQ) that functions alongside of the Intelligence Quotient (IQ). One's emotional skills as measured by some EQ metric have impact on the course of one's life similar to IQ.

Why am I bothering to mention all of this? How does this relate to mating and getting your penis wet?

It is known that women tend to operate more emotionally/feeling based and men tend to operate more rationally/factually based.

In mating interactions, women tend to make decisions based on feelings in the moment. With interactions with more intelligent men, they often find it more difficult to make those emotional connections that will create the feelings necessary for sex to happen. Many high IQ intelligent men tend to lack emotional management skills and have low EQ scores. While these men strong well in the rational/factual world, they have poor social skills and poor emotional management skills. Therefore, in dealings with women, they don't emotionally connect with them and fail to get laid with them.

This has less of an impact in hiring decisions for white collar STEM type jobs, as more of that is based on IQ than EQ.

Success is mating, especially early stage mating, is more related to one's emotional management and social skills. Men with middle of the bell curve IQs (or even low IQ men) tend to have stronger EQs and are more relatable to women.

I agree with your general premise that EQ matters a lot more than IQ when it comes to getting a woman.

You're 100% correct when you point out the fact a lot of low IQ criminals have exceptionally high EQs (which is why they easily get a woman)

If a career felon gangster cruising through Los Angeles in his lowrider were to take an IQ test, I guarantee I'd blow him out of the water on the IQ test.

Yet if the career felon and I were to both approach 100 gals (in other words, an EQ test), he'd blow me out of the water.

I am proof of how much you struggle in life when you have a low EQ, even if your IQ is high (Despite a high IQ and a college degree, I'm a failure by most other measures, even at climbing the career ladder)

As another example, I had a high school classmate with a high IQ but low EQ. His EQ isn't quite as low as mine (as he isn't an autist). So he at least managed to get a wife. But he had to use the strategy where a beta White man goes for an East Asian woman because he couldn't get a White woman.

 

[SW15]

I am proof of how much you struggle in life when you have a low EQ, even if your IQ is high (Despite a high IQ and a college degree, I'm a failure by most other measures, even at climbing the career ladder)

There are some tests of EQ but they are not as widely known or widely promoted as the well known IQ tests.

You might score well with metrics that measure your intelligence capabilities.

Any sort of test of your emotional management or social cue functionality would have you scoring low, likely in the absolute lowest tier of whatever the test is.

Plenty of high IQ men get STEM degrees and manage to get job offers for high paying STEM jobs.

The skill set that it takes to get a high paying STEM job after a bachelor's/master's level degree isn't the same skill set as what it takes to get laid with an average looking woman or better.

The skill set it takes to pass courses at the bachelor's or master's degree level isn't the same skill set as what it takes to get laid at an off campus apartment party in college or a random, on campus approach in college.

 

[GoodMan32]

There are some tests of EQ but they are not as widely known or widely promoted as the well known IQ tests.

You might score well with metrics that measure your intelligence capabilities.

Any sort of test of your emotional management or social cue functionality would have you scoring low, likely in the absolute lowest tier of whatever the test is.

Plenty of high IQ men get STEM degrees and manage to get job offers for high paying STEM jobs.

The skill set that it takes to get a high paying STEM job after a bachelor's/master's level degree isn't the same skill set as what it takes to get laid with an average looking woman or better.

The skill set it takes to pass courses at the bachelor's or master's degree level isn't the same skill set as what it takes to get laid at an off campus apartment party in college or a random, on campus approach in college.

Which is why I knew a guy at my college who had a 4.0, yet graduated college a virgin.

 

[GoodMan32]

yeah because i read in a book that talks about the history of men approaching, it contradicted some info, it explained about the history of arranged marriage, people being set up, and then it also mentioned this, it said:

"Men initiating
an
interaction
with women has always been (and always will be) a fundamental part of courtship. From the ancient days until now, it’s been primarily up to a man to commence a possible connection between two people."

I was watching a show that takes place in the 1920s. A British woman is engaged to an arranged groom she's not truly into. On the episode I watched, she ends up ditching him for a guy she truly wants.

Even though it's a fictional show, it got me thinking about the history of arranged marriage.

Yeah, arranged marriages can help a man get a woman he otherwise never would have gotten. But on the flipside, arranged marriages lead to many a woman being married to a man she doesn't truly want to be with. I'm not sure how many men would like the idea that the wife is only with him because she's "forced" to be.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Which is why I knew a guy at my college who had a 4.0, yet graduated college a virgin.

 

[SW15]

I knew a guy at my college who had a 4.0, yet graduated college a virgin.

That's to be expected. A 4.0 GPA is not an asset in seduction on a college campus. It's also not an asset in high school either. I'll focus my response on what can be expected on a college campus in the USA.

In undergraduate programs, the guys on college campuses that get laid the most sustainably are guys with 2.5 - 3.5 GPAs in business or a social science discipline.

These are guys who are doing well enough in school to continue going to school and have majors that put them into regular contact with women.

Men with sub 2.0 GPAs are at risk of not graduating. A guy with a sub 2.0 GPA might be a good short term seducer due to a party lifestyle but academic issues could keep him from not finishing all 4 years. Having a GPA above 2.0 helps in staying on campus long enough to socialize and keep meeting women.

STEM majors who well in STEM classes are the types of men who are going to be unrelatable to a lot of women.

STEM majors have less access to women because there are fewer women in their classes. The most attractive women on campus are not going to be STEM majors either. The few women in STEM majors are socially odd and not very good looking. In fact, most will have subpar looks. Thirsty STEM guys will try to shoot their shot on these mediocre to subpar looking women just based on proximity. They will also have hobbies/interests unrelatable to the majority of women on campus either. They will also be bookwormish and spending a lot of time in academic pursuits.

Lower GPA STEM majors aren't going to be much better. They'll have the same access issues and possibly the same hobbies/interests issue. They might spend less time studying and be slightly more socially well rounded.

Business and social science major males are more interested in going to the gym/exercises, they tend to have better social skills if they have lower GPAs and aren't too studious, and they have access to enough women in classes. They also tend to have more relatable hobbies. Some of these guys are also in top tier fraternities on campus.

We have an excellent college sex thread too.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

The rules are a little bit different in graduate level programs than what I described in undergraduate. Graduate level students are more likely to be in serious relationships and many are even engaged/married.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The rules are a little bit different in graduate level programs than what I described in undergraduate. Graduate level students are more likely to be in serious relationships and many are even engaged/married.

I’m not sure about that. I went to a graduate program. Most students were in their 20’s & single. There was a lot of dating each other among us students

 

[GoodMan32]

That's to be expected. A 4.0 GPA is not an asset in seduction on a college campus. It's also not an asset in high school either. I'll focus my response on what can be expected on a college campus in the USA.

In undergraduate programs, the guys on college campuses that get laid the most sustainably are guys with 2.5 - 3.5 GPAs in business or a social science discipline.

These are guys who are doing well enough in school to continue going to school and have majors that put them into regular contact with women.

Men with sub 2.0 GPAs are at risk of not graduating. A guy with a sub 2.0 GPA might be a good short term seducer due to a party lifestyle but academic issues could keep him from not finishing all 4 years. Having a GPA above 2.0 helps in staying on campus long enough to socialize and keep meeting women.

STEM majors who well in STEM classes are the types of men who are going to be unrelatable to a lot of women.

STEM majors have less access to women because there are fewer women in their classes. The most attractive women on campus are not going to be STEM majors either. The few women in STEM majors are socially odd and not very good looking. In fact, most will have subpar looks. Thirsty STEM guys will try to shoot their shot on these mediocre to subpar looking women just based on proximity. They will also have hobbies/interests unrelatable to the majority of women on campus either. They will also be bookwormish and spending a lot of time in academic pursuits.

Lower GPA STEM majors aren't going to be much better. They'll have the same access issues and possibly the same hobbies/interests issue. They might spend less time studying and be slightly more socially well rounded.

Business and social science major males are more interested in going to the gym/exercises, they tend to have better social skills if they have lower GPAs and aren't too studious, and they have access to enough women in classes. They also tend to have more relatable hobbies. Some of these guys are also in top tier fraternities on campus.

We have an excellent college sex thread too.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

The rules are a little bit different in graduate level programs than what I described in undergraduate. Graduate level students are more likely to be in serious relationships and many are even engaged/married.

Naming the exact country my 4.0 virgin college classmate is from isn't important. So let's just say he was from a country that put a lot of emphasis on school (and no fun). His super studious attitude, combined with the cultural differences, would have made it next-to-impossible for him to get laid at American colleges even if he tried.

I was in a Bachelor of Science program. I don't want to say the exact field. So all I'm going to say is we had a decent amount of female students for a Bachelor of Science program (I'd estimate we had pretty close to a 50/50 split)

To touch upon what you said about low GPAs (and the risk of getting thrown out of school), there were these 2 burnouts in my major program who were always at risk of getting expelled over a low GPA. They did excellent with the ladies. I recall one of the dudes (while pointing all around the campus) said something to me along the lines of "This is a ripe sea to fish in. No need to use online methods to get laid" (Easy for him to say. He's not a socially awkward autist)

One more example to add. I knew a guy in an engineering program (with a terrible gender ratio) who got 2 steady girlfriends in college. The fact he was 6'4" probably helped. He was the exception; not the norm.

 

[SW15]

I knew a guy in an engineering program (with a terrible gender ratio) who got 2 steady girlfriends in college. The fact he was 6'4" probably helped. He was the exception; not the norm.

He got girlfriends due to being 6'4".

To touch upon what you said about low GPAs (and the risk of getting thrown out of school), there were these 2 burnouts in my major program who were always at risk of getting expelled over a low GPA. They did excellent with the ladies. I recall one of the dudes (while pointing all around the campus) said something to me along the lines of "This is a ripe sea to fish in. No need to use online methods to get laid"

GPA doesn't get you laid. It might not even get you hired for your first post-college job. It is most relevant in graduate school applications.

One of the burnouts was accurate. Tech methods are for working men not on a campus. Working men often have day-to-day routines that aren't good for meeting women.

The goal in college is to do well enough to stay in academic good standing. Anything between 2.5-3.5 will accomplish that. Trying to get closer to 4.0 isn't worthwhile from a getting laid perspective.

 

[GoodMan32]

He got girlfriends due to being 6'4".



GPA doesn't get you laid. It might not even get you hired for your first post-college job. It is most relevant in graduate school applications.

One of the burnouts was accurate. Tech methods are for working men not on a campus. Working men often have day-to-day routines that aren't good for meeting women.

The goal in college is to do well enough to stay in academic good standing. Anything between 2.5-3.5 will accomplish that. Trying to get closer to 4.0 isn't worthwhile from a getting laid perspective.

For the most part, I agree a male college student should have the ability to find cooch through college.

The fact I was a socially awkward autist was the biggest factor in preventing me from getting cooch the traditional way in college. If I was capable of getting laid through non-tech methods in college, don't you think I would have?

 

[Zaser]

httрs://slutsdates.com/online/