How To Create A Social Circle In 2025!

[zekko]

I totally understand as you get older you value peace and solitude more, I prefer to be focused in winter time but come spring and summer I love being out and about preferably with some friends it doesn't have to be every weekend, but spring and summer go by very fast where I live(May-Sepetmber)

I think this is why I enjoy winter so much. It gives me an excuse to hunker down and get absorbed into my interests. When the warm weather comes, I start feeling guilty about staying in.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Don’t forget to read this book.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Great thread OP. Some good advice all around.

My "problem" is I like solitude and I don't make friends easily. I'm sociable but I like keeping things superficial with most people I meet. When people start asking me to hang out I usually find an excuse not to, unless they are already close friends.

Other thing is I want to network more professionally than socially. I guess industry events are my key then. I know this sounds backwards but I want to find more work and make more money this year, rather than make more friends. But that's just me!

 

[jhonny9546]

In addition to the aspect of a simple social circle, there is also the matter of pairing similar individuals.

For example, if I want to be with intelligent, healthy, compassionate people who focus on their personal growth, authentic and courageous, I must first develop and demonstrate those qualities myself.

Similar attracts, and this is also what leads to deeper relationships.

It’s somewhat similar to what happens in couples: if she is insecure, she seeks a confident man, but after a while, this balance breaks down. This is when opposite attracts.
But, It would be better if she had been confident from the beginning and he had been confident too; then their relationship would have been much stronger.

So we must know who we are, cultivate what we want from others, in ourself first

 

[Solomon]

Great thread OP. Some good advice all around.

My "problem" is I like solitude and I don't make friends easily. I'm sociable but I like keeping things superficial with most people I meet. When people start asking me to hang out I usually find an excuse not to, unless they are already close friends.

Other thing is I want to network more professionally than socially. I guess industry events are my key then. I know this sounds backwards but I want to find more work and make more money this year, rather than make more friends. But that's just me!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, networking and social circle have similarities you still have to meet people (Cold approach) and make contacts, If you want to keep professional it's even easier go to events that focus on your career. There are lot of conventions for all types of jobs/careers/industries.

Personally I think once you hit 30plus and you're not where you wanna be financially this should be your main priority instead of partying and chasing women

In addition to the aspect of a simple social circle, there is also the matter of pairing similar individuals.

For example, if I want to be with intelligent, healthy, compassionate people who focus on their personal growth, authentic and courageous, I must first develop and demonstrate those qualities myself.

Similar attracts, and this is also what leads to deeper relationships.

It’s somewhat similar to what happens in couples: if she is insecure, she seeks a confident man, but after a while, this balance breaks down. This is when opposite attracts.
But, It would be better if she had been confident from the beginning and he had been confident too; then their relationship would have been much stronger.

So we must know who we are, cultivate what we want from others, in ourself first

Totally agree this is why in part2 I'm talking about the lifestyle aspect if you want to be around honorable people, ambitious, people who are positive, motivated and driven to be their best version. You most likely won't meet them at the bar not saying those people don't go there but ambitious people tend to focus more on their endeavors that can help their goals etc.

 

[Gamisch]

This is a common issue. I moved to my current city in my late 20s. I made friends but I never had a social circle capable of providing me introductions.

The primary net benefits that I've gotten out of my friends is my current city are companionship, conversation, and activity partners for some of my hobbies. These things have value and might have helped my overall social skills. They provided little to me in terms of actually getting laid.

When a man finds himself in his late 20s and beyond with needing to improve his social circle, it's going to be difficult. Most men can't get into social circles at that point that would be capable of providing him introductions, even if he can get some male friends/acquaintances/hobby activity partners.

This is why men end up resorting to app swiping (most cases now) and approaching strangers in larger numbers in real life.

In that case you should drastically stir your life up a bit. To be clear: I moved from a big city to a small town so I know this struggle.

If there's one thing we can learn from women it's how to socialize in order to benefit from this as an individual. Women don't need much to "be" BFF with each other. You can see two women at a party or even at vacation and they actually barely know each other ( that's why they can easily go from liking to hating one another). But they will kinda respect and understand the necessity to " go" .

Men are more reserved and will say a REAL friend is rare yadiya. The endgoal is to have a broadened circle AND to find like minded men to hang with. So :

Instead of talking about gym classes for women ( like you often do) take a step back. Go to gym classes to meet like minded men! It just takes one like minded dude to say " yo it's Friday why dint go grab a drink in town" . Much easier, and it takes you out of your isolated situation.

Another thing we can learn from women is their agenda is always full. If a women doesn't get wined and dined she will do it herself.same goes for those fashion events. Men don't go there because...we are not as much into fashion ofcourse but also because we want a immediate ROI. A bar/ club seemingly has a better ROI, but the question is whether that is true..so, keep your agenda full. Be creative. Find events in town for the weekends that you wouldn't do anything. Visit a museum, go watch a jazz band. Think out of the box!