The explosion of the badboy's popularity ( and why we ignore this)

[Gamisch]

I made a similar thread before but unfortunately it didn't got much traction. For some reason threads where incels talk about dating men and dressing like spongebob are more popular.

This is actually a skill to us men. It's like a suit you can wear to appeal to (more) certain women that apparently need to know you are a "Badboy type" in order to proceed.

And that's...baffling to me. Coming from South America I grew up in a culture where EVERYONE is a badboy( even the women). If you ain't, you'll be eating alive. Especially during puberty it's almost impossible to swim against the current as you will simply be ignored by 99% of girls and end up what we call an invell nowadays. Back then you were just a nerd/ goofy /lame/ pathetic ect.

Fast forward to this era. Suddenly it seems like every woman from every class wants a man with " an edge". All races, all classes been saying this.

So why do WE , a seduction forum, ignore this? Are we oblivious to this? It kinda confirms the theory that men who are 100% converted to this image are NOT on sosauve.

Again, it's like a suit a man can wear to control certain outcomes. A new woman doesn't know you, just like you don't know her yet you judge because she wears a Gucci dress she must be classy. Or a baddie because she wears a hotpants ect. But when you ask the average man " what's the definition of a badboy?" most won't have an answer. Just like most women will give their own customised explanation.

Let's discuss this gents. I am sure that a lotta men will benefit from having the knowledge about how to conduct themselves in ways that would SEEMINGLY give them an edge. Seemingly, because most men in my culture even know damn well its just an image , and as soon as there are no women they'll drop their masks. But when there are women, they put on the mask and make life way way easier than the " being my unique self who gets rejected over and over again".

Let's discuss.

 

[itouchyou]

At a high level I think it's simply being yourself without apology.. if you don't do the same things other people do, own it. If you dress differently, own it.

At a deep level a badboy is simply someone who doesn't give a **** about how they're perceived. To women that signals that the guy doesn't seek approval from anyone. At a biological level that means the guy doesn't value the judgement others place upon him which makes him appear high status. This means he doesn't see others as being above himself.

I disagree that it's a "skill". You have to believe it deep down, literally live it.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Familiarity breeds contempt, not attraction. Seduction thrives on mystery. The "bad boy" archetype taps into this – unpredictable, a little dangerous, always keeping you guessing.

But it's not just about rebellion. People can embody other archetypes – the adventurer, the chivalrous hero, the dangerous lover. These archetypes create an aura of intrigue, sparking curiosity and leaving others wanting to know more.

The key is to present yourself in a way that's captivating without being predictable. Maintain an air of mystery, offer glimpses into your world without fully revealing yourself. Avoid being too consistent, too obvious, too 'real.' You need to embody something, anything, to avoid given out the aura of familiarity and commonness. This creates space for imagination and keeps the connection exciting. It is all about being "cool" and letting them want to possess you fully.

 

[BeExcellent]

It is a certain aloofness & non conformity and no fcks given. And it needs to be authentic. It's not something you can fake.

The Latin culture has this element ingrained into the culture & social norms. Russian culture does as well but the expression is slightly different.

In the US it is the rugged individualist. Embodied by John Wayne, Johnny Depp, Ronald Reagan, and others.

 

[SW15]

Coming from South America I grew up in a culture where EVERYONE is a badboy( even the women). If you ain't, you'll be eating alive. Especially during puberty it's almost impossible to swim against the current as you will simply be ignored by 99% of girls and end up what we call an invell nowadays. Back then you were just a nerd/ goofy /lame/ pathetic ect.

Fast forward to this era. Suddenly it seems like every woman from every class wants a man with " an edge". All races, all classes been saying this.

So why do WE , a seduction forum, ignore this? Are we oblivious to this? It kinda confirms the theory that men who are 100% converted to this image are NOT on sosauve.

I don't think the Bad Boy concept is talked about much on SoSuave or similar forums because it's a thing that's been around for so long and was discussed decades ago.

Bad Boys get women and nice guys finish last.

I think this idea has gained acceptance and that's why it doesn't get discussed much.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Nothing new under the sun.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I don't think the Bad Boy concept is talked about much on SoSuave or similar forums because it's a thing that's been around for so long and was discussed decades ago.

Bad Boys get women and nice guys finish last.

I think this idea has gained acceptance and that's why it doesn't get discussed much.

I believe it’s important to clarify and offer guidance on how to embody the concept of being a "bad boy," since many people mistakenly identify the word with being an "*******." As I mentioned in my post, it’s about creating space, avoiding over-consistency or blending in, and sharing glimpses of your life without fully revealing yourself. This fosters an air of mystery and intrigue, which is far more effective than just being rude or dismissive. This can be used for other archetypes (witty, wicked, kind, etc).

For instance, you could insinuate that you live in a condo downtown without providing too many details. This approach allows you to create a sense of exclusivity and intrigue, leaving people curious and imagining more, rather than simply stating facts. When the girl is alone at home, all sorts of fantasies will flood her mind, and your presence will start to take shape in her thoughts: Is this guy a mobster? Does his family have money? Does he own his own company? Is this how he picks up his flings? Does he have other women over often? These unanswered questions fuel the mystery and heighten the attraction.

 

[Plinco]

I made a similar thread before but unfortunately it didn't got much traction. For some reason threads where incels talk about dating men and dressing like spongebob are more popular.

This is actually a skill to us men. It's like a suit you can wear to appeal to (more) certain women that apparently need to know you are a "Badboy type" in order to proceed.

And that's...baffling to me. Coming from South America I grew up in a culture where EVERYONE is a badboy( even the women). If you ain't, you'll be eating alive. Especially during puberty it's almost impossible to swim against the current as you will simply be ignored by 99% of girls and end up what we call an invell nowadays. Back then you were just a nerd/ goofy /lame/ pathetic ect.

Fast forward to this era. Suddenly it seems like every woman from every class wants a man with " an edge". All races, all classes been saying this.

So why do WE , a seduction forum, ignore this? Are we oblivious to this? It kinda confirms the theory that men who are 100% converted to this image are NOT on sosauve.

Again, it's like a suit a man can wear to control certain outcomes. A new woman doesn't know you, just like you don't know her yet you judge because she wears a Gucci dress she must be classy. Or a baddie because she wears a hotpants ect. But when you ask the average man " what's the definition of a badboy?" most won't have an answer. Just like most women will give their own customised explanation.

Let's discuss this gents. I am sure that a lotta men will benefit from having the knowledge about how to conduct themselves in ways that would SEEMINGLY give them an edge. Seemingly, because most men in my culture even know damn well its just an image , and as soon as there are no women they'll drop their masks. But when there are women, they put on the mask and make life way way easier than the " being my unique self who gets rejected over and over again".

Let's discuss.

'Bad boy' = selfish + effective

 

[Gamisch]

I don't think the Bad Boy concept is talked about much on SoSuave or similar forums because it's a thing that's been around for so long and was discussed decades ago.

Bad Boys get women and nice guys finish last.

I think this idea has gained acceptance and that's why it doesn't get discussed much.

Well , just like you say; it's something that's quite old, but it seemingly revived again especially with the upcoming of OLD. If at the end of the equation badboys get the price, why aren't men focused on that?

Eg. The @corrector 's and @GoodMan32 's of this world would FIRST have to get in physical shape, but once they do they will also need to get in mental shape because IF they start to attract women they will have to deal with not being "too sassy" . It cab and will be very discouraging when you finally got your shyte together to learn you are STILL excluded from playing along.

It's like some men know shyte others don't know. I can be with my incel friends around women and be annoyed how they have zero skills to read the room and adjust their posture ,voice, look, topics ect. And I am not even the "neanderthal badboy" but rather that somewhat " intellectual azzhole with an edge" .

 

[Gamisch]

'Bad boy' = selfish + effective

Elaborate please bro

 

[Gamisch]

I believe it’s important to clarify and offer guidance on how to embody the concept of being a "bad boy," since many people mistakenly identify the word with being an "*******." As I mentioned in my post, it’s about creating space, avoiding over-consistency or blending in, and sharing glimpses of your life without fully revealing yourself. This fosters an air of mystery and intrigue, which is far more effective than just being rude or dismissive. This can be used for other archetypes (witty, wicked, kind, etc).

For instance, you could insinuate that you live in a condo downtown without providing too many details. This approach allows you to create a sense of exclusivity and intrigue, leaving people curious and imagining more, rather than simply stating facts. When the girl is alone at home, all sorts of fantasies will flood her mind, and your presence will start to take shape in her thoughts: Is this guy a mobster? Does his family have money? Does he own his own company? Is this how he picks up his flings? Does he have other women over often? These unanswered questions fuel the mystery and heighten the attraction.

Thank you. I could not have worded it as nice as you just did.

The word bad makes men believe you should be a mean person and this narrative is fed by women saying that "xyz dude was such an azzhole". Its confusing. While I always say that the most dangerous men I knew were simultaneously the most cordial men I've ever seen. Always friendly to women, smiling and charming ( untill shyte hit the fan ).

 

[Gamisch]

It is a certain aloofness & non conformity and no fcks given. And it needs to be authentic. It's not something you can fake.

The Latin culture has this element ingrained into the culture & social norms. Russian culture does as well but the expression is slightly different.

In the US it is the rugged individualist. Embodied by John Wayne, Johnny Depp, Ronald Reagan, and others.

Great to show some examples! I am curious to learn a few things from the women lockerroom:
- how come that (seemingly) Most women now are attracted to this type?

 

[characternote]

While I always say that the most dangerous men I knew were simultaneously the most cordial men I've ever seen. Always friendly to women, smiling and charming ( untill shyte hit the fan ).

that's somewhat interesting.

I've known a few 'bad boys' who done well with girls. They all tended to be tall and at least semi-decent looking so one can't assume it's just the badboy thing in their situations, but they were all legit bad. All had been to prison. All got in fights lots. All took drugs. All impulsive and low inhibition. Loud. etc etc

I remember reading a thead on seddit once about the whole badboy thing. It was around the time that 'negs' were popular I guess, and people were like 'Oh, so a badboy probably opens girls by being really insulting. Maybe some negs etc etc'. They'd try it and get harsh rejections from hot young UK girls who just told them to go away lol

So the replies were like 'oh, it didn't work for you because you're not actually a bad boy. She could tell it was false'

I don't really buy that, though. I'd say it didn't work because 1/she wasn't attracted to him, and 2/BECAUSE it's a retarded way to open someone!

And as you touch on, i'd actually imagine that the opposite is true! I imagine a real badboy is probably very nice and polite and smiley etc when he approaches a girl! He's actually trying to HIDE his nature, whereas the reddit crew were trying to pretend!
It's only when they've been seeing each other for a while that the badboy's nature reveals itself along with all the drama and police calls that come along with it!

(this is about cold approach of course. I think it's different if a badboy starts banging a girl from his social circle. She's also typically a 'street girl' kinda thing and knows what he's about and likes it, and he couldn't hide it from her even if he wanted too). It's like where i'm from there actually lots of really hot young 'chav' girls, but they only EVER seem to bang the badboy chavs that they grew up with kinda thing.

 

[Gamisch]

Familiarity breeds contempt, not attraction. Seduction thrives on mystery. The "bad boy" archetype taps into this – unpredictable, a little dangerous, always keeping you guessing.

But it's not just about rebellion. People can embody other archetypes – the adventurer, the chivalrous hero, the dangerous lover. These archetypes create an aura of intrigue, sparking curiosity and leaving others wanting to know more.

The key is to present yourself in a way that's captivating without being predictable. Maintain an air of mystery, offer glimpses into your world without fully revealing yourself. Avoid being too consistent, too obvious, too 'real.' You need to embody something, anything, to avoid given out the aura of familiarity and commonness. This creates space for imagination and keeps the connection exciting. It is all about being "cool" and letting them want to possess you fully.

In my culture the gangster-ism is the go to archetype . I think that black American culture resembles this the most.

I've hated this for the longest time because in a white European world it's completely opposite to what makes a man successful. But yet most women that fell for me EXPECTED me to be that badboy archetype because...I look like that. At some point I just embraced it with all the consequences that come with it, such as doing time for bs.

Yet I personally always felt like an idiot for sacrificing my future for just p00sy...and I assumed that a woman who wants stability would feel the same.

Fast forward to 2025 and suddenly it's mainstream to be a thug/badboy/ liar ect. No longer it's just the degenerate women that like this,also the so-called "good girls " want this now.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The term "badboy" is often misunderstood. The emphasis is on "boy", not on "bad". It's basically someone who is (1) confident, (2) projects a youthful energy, (3) has an air of nonchalance and (4) is good looking. The last attribute is mandatory. Without #4, you are not a badboy but more like an @sshole or a jerk.

A badboy is not to be confused with a "badass". A badboy would likely have the sh!t beaten out of him if he got in a fight with an actual tough guy. That's because "badboy" is an attitude rather than a reflection of actual ability. In other words, it's act. It's no surprise that all of the examples of badboys brought up in this thread so far have been actors.

 

[BeExcellent]

Well Ronald Reagan (go see the movie if you have not) emerged into a powerful politician because he throughly understood the power of a narrative; and he knew how to present that narrative to maximum effect. He was not a great actor so much as a great student of human nature; a great man.

Wnston Churchill was more gentleman bad ass than bad boy. You see men who act from character and conviction strike FEAR into other men because they cannot be easily controlled.

Both these men had strong, loving women by their side. There's a reason for that lads.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There has been no explosion, this is how it's always been. There hasn't been media coverage and YouTube to constantly bombard us with it other than the last few decades.

 

[BeExcellent]

There are fewer and fewer such men around these days. It's a way of being that is time tested, look at Marcus Aurelius, the ancient Roman stoic.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Both these men had strong, loving women by their side. There's a reason for that lads.

Come on now

In the case of Reagan, it was the CIA, not Nancy, pulling the stings. Reagan is arguably the most overrated president in recent history. And I say that as someone who is very much right of centre politically. Raegan sold drugs to his own people and used the proceeds to finance Contras and the Taliban. He called the USSR an evil empire while he was arming Saddam Hussein and invading various countries. He also came within an inch of starting a nuclear war in 1983. He was a puppet who did whatever the CIA told him to do.

 

[Gamisch]

The term "badboy" is often misunderstood. The emphasis is on "boy", not on "bad". It's basically someone who is (1) confident, (2) projects a youthful energy, (3) has an air of nonchalance and (4) is good looking. The last attribute is mandatory. Without #4, you are not a badboy but more like an @sshole or a jerk.

A badboy is not to be confused with a "badass". A badboy would likely have the sh!t beaten out of him if he got in a fight with an actual tough guy. That's because "badboy" is an attitude rather than a reflection of actual ability. In other words, it's act. It's no surprise that all of the examples of badboys brought up in this thread so far have been actors.

Great analysis and tbh I never put much emphasis on the word "boy.

Spot on