10 Red Flags I Look Out For

[inquisitor]

1. She has no direction nor dreams in life, no matter how flexible or absurd. She doesn't have anything of my interest going on for herself. She doesn't dream big.
2. She doesn't challenge my presumptions and biases in and about life.
3. She doesn't listen to me, nor care about my important insight. She can't humble herself, and only cares about what she knows.
4. She has nothing to offer - be it intellectual, physical, emotional, social - anything that supports us both.
5. She doesn't devote time and effort for our futures.
6. She doesn't devote time and effort for her family nor for herself.
7. She doesn't encourage and initiate much more than I expect. She doesn't have any fun surprises, nor does she invite me to her own adventures. She doesn't find new ways to spice up our connection.
8. She continues to create impulsive decisions without any forethought nor caution. She chooses to be reckless without any reasoning. She has unresolved childhood issues that she hasn't continually addressed.
9. She doesn't find value in spirituality, nor in any other worthwhile field outside of what she knows.
10. She doesn't want to learn anymore. She only stays put, afraid to offend me nor correct me if I'm wrong. She'd rather remain within the confines of her own self-imposed limitations. She's too insecure to be a better version of herself.

I don't find any issues with education as long as she's willing to engage in fruitful conversations with me.

In my mind, there's also a list compatible with this one that dictates how a man should be, to arrive at these conclusions.

 

[jhonny9546]

She continues to create impulsive decisions without any forethought nor caution

Hmm, this can be related to something else: If a woman is currently in a ltr with another man and is looking around, is this a bad sign? If a girl in a relationship is showing you signals and expressing availability, it could mean that she is testing your level of interest in her and observing how you respond, so she can feel more confident about ending her current relationship. It is well known that a healthy woman should first end her current relationship, take a break, and then put herself back on the market before pursuing another man. However, we know very well that women often do not follow this approach and instead engage in "monkey branching."
We need to figure out how to evaluate this as a red flag or not

 

[inquisitor]

If a girl in a relationship is showing you signals and expressing availability, it could mean that she is testing your level of interest in her and observing how you respond, so she can feel more confident about ending her current relationship.

It could also mean that she's covertly asking for your help, since you're also a man, in order to strengthen their relationship. She might be in need of your advice, like what can she do to help her man be better... or, that you should be giving advice even if she doesn't ask for advice, because through her we can also be helping our fellow men be better, by thinking through and navigating such a challenge.

It may be obvious that she's feeling the need to cheat, but women like her will still appear uncertain, and for a reason - she also wants to stay, but in need of stronger reasons why. You can help her improve and strengthen her reasons, and make another rocky relationship more successful instead of ruined, by giving advice on how he can be a better man - by being a better man yourself, and giving advice and telling your experiences on how you get there, on how you think a man must do and become.

 

[jhonny9546]

It could also mean that she's covertly asking for your help, since you're also a man, in order to strengthen their

I could also see that from a female POV: "I wanted just to have sex and cheat with you, but now You want to give me emotional support"?

 

[CornbreadFed]

8. She continues to create impulsive decisions without any forethought nor caution. She chooses to be reckless without any reasoning. She has unresolved childhood issues that she hasn't continually addressed.

typical for girls with tattoos

 

[RangerMIke]

You could take this list and replace 'she' with 'he' and most women would say these are red flags for them. For me.... well, my list is simple.

(1) She has a minimum level of physical attraction.
(2) She demonstrates she likes me by making things easy.
(3) She isn't a fvcking mess (can't hold down a job, can't pay her bills, car and house looks like a hurricane hit it).
(4) She goes along with what I want to do and enjoys herself.

Everything else I can work with.