Undecided on vasectomy

[GoodMan32]

I did it and it was the best decision I made. With society how it is today fathers have everything to lose, than to gain except for "MuH GeNeTiCs"

It is a relief knowing that no women will have a possible weapon to use against me (kids).

You'll see how fathers in this forum start DEERing why having kids is good.

If my genes were worthy of getting passed on, I could maybe see myself reproducing in a manner that would ensure no responsibility on my part.

 

[SW15]

You lose something if you lose your ability to cause pregnancy.

I think so too. Women enjoy the idea of being impregnated, even if it isn't a goal in the near term. The ability to impregnate/get pregnant is a part of the masculine/feminine dynamic.

In interactions where the goal is a longer term relationship, many women will drop men if they know the man has had a vasectomy. This may even happen when the woman is actively using birth control. She might want to have children in the future and she won't want to spend her time with a man who has a 0% chance of doing that for her.

In an interaction that is shorter term in nature, women will tend to care less about the vasectomy issue. Most men won't lose a casual sex type partner over a vasectomy.

I have marketed myself as "Open to Children" even though my actions haven't fully lined up with this. I have followed Iron Rule of Tomassi #5 (Always Use Protection) even before Rollo put forth Iron Rule #5. By saying that I am "Open to Children" It's a good way not to get eliminated over something that likely won't factor into the overall course of the interaction.

The way in which I claim that I am "Open to Children" is that I have not had a vasectomy. This is technically true.

 

[GoodMan32]

I think so too. Women enjoy the idea of being impregnated, even if it isn't a goal in the near term. The ability to impregnate/get pregnant is a part of the masculine/feminine dynamic.

In interactions where the goal is a longer term relationship, many women will drop men if they know the man has had a vasectomy. This may even happen when the woman is actively using birth control. She might want to have children in the future and she won't want to spend her time with a man who has a 0% chance of doing that for her.

In an interaction that is shorter term in nature, women will tend to care less about the vasectomy issue. Most men won't lose a casual sex type partner over a vasectomy.

I have marketed myself as "Open to Children" even though my actions haven't fully lined up with this. I have followed Iron Rule of Tomassi #5 (Always Use Protection) even before Rollo put forth Iron Rule #5. By saying that I am "Open to Children" It's a good way not to get eliminated over something that likely won't factor into the overall course of the interaction.

The way in which I claim that I am "Open to Children" is that I have not had a vasectomy. This is technically true.

Even if the "open to children" thing is true on a technicality (as you haven't had a vasectomy), you've mentioned you prefer 3-5 year relationships. Surely the fact you don't want kids will come up in the course of a 3-5 year relationship.

Something as major as not wanting kids would be impossible to hide for 3-5 years.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

In interactions where the goal is a longer term relationship, many women will drop men if they know the man has had a vasectomy.

If they know, and if they want to have children, they may react that way.

However, I think that unless a woman outright states that she wants your babies, I don't see why you should tell a woman that you're shooting blanks.

My reasons for sex with my lovers is not to make babies, but to have sexual intimacy. I didn't have a vasectomy, but if I had, I wouldn't feel the need to tell my lovers. They know I already fathered two children, I'm not looking to make feet for baby shoes. I changed enough diapers.

 

[SW15]

Even if the "open to children" thing is true on a technicality (as you haven't had a vasectomy), you've mentioned you prefer 3-5 year relationships. Surely the fact you don't want kids will come up in the course of a 3-5 year relationship.

Something as major as not wanting kids would be impossible to hide for 3-5 years.

It's possible to play the 'Open to Children' card for a very long time, especially if the woman in the interaction isn't prioritizing having children.

Take a look at the blog post below. 70% of relationships end within 12 months. I think that covers both the casual sex interactions (which usually burn out in less than 12 months) and exclusive monogamous relationships. It's possible that the child issue doesn't come up at all before the relationship fails, even if I am operating in a monogamous frame with a woman.

How Long Does The Average Relationship Last? - The Hive Law

How long does the average relationship last? In this article, you'll lean about average relationship length by age, before marriage, and...

www.thehivelaw.com

My position is 'Open to Children but not prioritizing it'. That seems to work well enough for me. My stance on children hasn't been the primary cause of breakups. The majority of the women I've had sex were using birth control. I have also had women tell me that they didn't want children when I stated what my position was. I never outright say "I don't want children". That position helps with attraction and seduction. I do not wish to shrink my dating pool and I don't have to do that.

It is true that I have promoted the idea that relationships have a shelf life of 3-5 years. I am open to staying beyond that 5 year point. I don't like the idea of staying too long in a relationship and experiencing the worst decay.

A lot of relationships that make it to 2 years fail between Year 2 and Year 5.

Relationships that go beyond 5 years are in a state of significant decay in a lot of cases.

 

[GoodMan32]

If they know, and if they want to have children, they may react that way.

However, I think that unless a woman outright states that she wants your babies, I don't see why you should tell a woman that you're shooting blanks.

My reasons for sex with my lovers is not to make babies, but to have sexual intimacy. I didn't have a vasectomy, but if I had, I wouldn't feel the need to tell my lovers. They know I already fathered two children, I'm not looking to make feet for baby shoes. I changed enough diapers.

I've never changed a baby's diaper (and never will)

 

[GoodMan32]

It's possible to play the 'Open to Children' card for a very long time, especially if the woman in the interaction isn't prioritizing having children.

Take a look at the blog post below. 70% of relationships end within 12 months. I think that covers both the casual sex interactions (which usually burn out in less than 12 months) and exclusive monogamous relationships. It's possible that the child issue doesn't come up at all before the relationship fails, even if I am operating in a monogamous frame with a woman.

How Long Does The Average Relationship Last? - The Hive Law

How long does the average relationship last? In this article, you'll lean about average relationship length by age, before marriage, and...

www.thehivelaw.com

My position is 'Open to Children but not prioritizing it'. That seems to work well enough for me. My stance on children hasn't been the primary cause of breakups. The majority of the women I've had sex were using birth control. I have also had women tell me that they didn't want children when I stated what my position was. I never outright say "I don't want children". That position helps with attraction and seduction. I do not wish to shrink my dating pool and I don't have to do that.

It is true that I have promoted the idea that relationships have a shelf life of 3-5 years. I am open to staying beyond that 5 year point. I don't like the idea of staying too long in a relationship and experiencing the worst decay.

A lot of relationships that make it to 2 years fail between Year 2 and Year 5.

Relationships that go beyond 5 years are in a state of significant decay in a lot of cases.

Thinking back, the topic of wanting kids came up in the 8 month relationship I had back when I was 21-22. I forget if I brought up the topic or what (I don't recall how exactly the topic came up).

Anyway, I admitted to her I never want kids. She wanted kids eventually.

Ultimately, the kid thing had nothing to do with the breakup.

I suppose one benefit of going for 45+ broads: It's a given that you aren't looking to reproduce with her.

One thing about autists is we have a hard time lying. "Open to children" would be a lie if said by me.

5+ year relationships can get stale, you're right. Especially 5+ year relationships where they only stay together for the kids.

 

[SW15]

5+ year relationships can get stale, you're right. Especially 5+ year relationships where they only stay together for the kids.

That's what often ends up happening in 5+ year long relationships, if a relationship even gets to last that long.

A lot of children either see parents who stay together with a beta husband who isn't leading with a decent masculine frame or seeing their parents divorce. Either outcome is bad.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I've never changed a baby's diaper (and never will)

Let me dial up some surprise.
Whát?
You never changed a baby's diaper?
Count me amazed!

You will end up changing diapers, though, if you keep chasing old women...

 

[GoodMan32]

That's what often ends up happening in 5+ year long relationships, if a relationship even gets to last that long.

A lot of children either see parents who stay together with a beta husband who isn't leading with a decent masculine frame or seeing their parents divorce. Either outcome is bad.

There are a number of bands with songs about 4-5 year relationships. The idea that relationships have a shelf life that tops out around 5 years has some merit.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

There are a number of bands with songs about 4-5 year relationships. The idea that relationships have a shelf life that tops out around 5 years has some merit.

Of course. If a number of bands compose songs around relationship life spans, it must have merit. That's almost at the same level as a Youtube commenter.