Do men even care anymore?

[CornbreadFed]

I've been living in a place with a very high bar (Dallas, Texas) for a while. The mating environment in Dallas is very competitive. A job, your own place, and not being fat is good in Dallas but doesn't mean much for dating success. In Dallas, a man is likely to need those things and much more.

I can see Dallas like Nashville being a Chad bro enclave. Those markets are harder for single men without connections to compete in the market.

 

[SW15]

I can see Dallas like Nashville being a Chad bro enclave. Those markets are harder for single men without connections to compete in the market.

It's valid to compare Dallas to Nashville, though Dallas is much larger.

A lot of people move to Dallas without previous connections to the area. These are the people who end up using swipe apps and/or spending time in bars. This is a worse experience for men than it is for women.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It's valid to compare Dallas to Nashville, though Dallas is much larger.

A lot of people move to Dallas without previous connections to the area. These are the people who end up using swipe apps and/or spending time in bars. This is a worse experience for men than it is for women.

A lot of good ole boy home grown connections from HS or college occurs in these cities. To get in to these social circles as new comer you need to meet them through work or other social activities. In addition, a lot of newbies form social circles through hiring classes at work.

 

[SW15]

A lot of good ole boy home grown connections from HS or college occurs in these cities.

Yes, that happens. In Dallas, I've seen examples of people who grew up in either nicer suburban areas of Dallas or nicer neighborhoods of Dallas itself. They went to some Texas colleges (either public or private) and returned to Dallas after college. These are some of the more socially well connected beta males. These socially well connected betas manage to find their way into longer term relationships due to these good ole boy home grown connections.

While Dallas has more and more adult transplants with limited connections, this group of people still exists.

To get in to these social circles as new comer you need to meet them through work or other social activities.

I mentioned this phenomenon in the first post on the "Observations on Dallas' Scene" in April 2022. Here's a condensed quote from that post.

Getting into one of the social circles with Dallas natives with strong roots isn't that easy to do......Most transplanted adults to Dallas won't get into those or they will be on the fringes of them....Some of those people might be your co-workers but you won't be spending your leisure time with them.

Observations on Dallas' Scene

Based on @Jesse Pinkman's write ups of New York City, Miami, and large state universities, I thought it would be worthwhile to write up Dallas, the city I call home. The Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area (DFW) is the 4th most populated metropolitan area in the United States. Dallas and Fort...

www.sosuave.net

The bottom line is that most transplanted adults to Dallas don't end up in one of these circles. In mating, they end up reliant upon the swipe apps and typically the bars, with a few men making some progress in non-bar approaching.

In addition, a lot of newbies form social circles through hiring classes at work.

Newer adult transplants can form social circles at work, in activities like co-ed sports leagues, and in various apartment communities nearer to Downtown Dallas. Many of these apartment communities are populated with adult transplants and some connections form that way. More of these adult transplants end up reliant on swipe apps, DMs, and random approaches in mating, but these methods can create some connections, albeit connections less likely to create longer term relationships.

 

[Solomon]

I've been living in a place with a very high bar (Dallas, Texas) for a while. The mating environment in Dallas is very competitive. A job, your own place, and not being fat is good in Dallas but doesn't mean much for dating success. In Dallas, a man is likely to need those things and much more.

In Dallas, men who are younger and very good looking (85th-90th percentile +) might be able to get away with not having a job and get sex. It would tend to be shorter term sex but at least they'll get something. It also depends on the target market too. I've spent a lot of time in Dallas around bougie White women. I define a bougie White woman as a White woman with a bachelor's degree or higher working some working some sort of typically white collar job. Things are likely to vary somewhat in Dallas with women who aren't bougie White women.

I say this respectfully and I told you this before. If you don't like Dallas or can't compete in Dallas step your game up or move away. It's that simple. If you're not having success or the type of success you want why stay? whats keeping you there? a house? family? career? friends? is it enough for your misery?

I have said it before some men are in the wrong market and it's ok to acknowledge this. I think you'd kill it in Salt lake city Utah but personally I'm tired of guys complaining about their city and not do anything about it to change their situation, You don't get any sympathy from me (sorry not sorry). I don't relate to that mindset because it's a victim mindset to me. I prefer to win, and if that means I gotta move or something so be it.

 

[SW15]

whats keeping you there? a house? family? career? friends? is it enough for your misery?

Over time, career stuff has been the primary reason I've stayed in Dallas. There are a lot of job options in white collar in Dallas. It's difficult to replicate that somewhere else.

The next closest thing would be friends. There are some friendship relationships that would be difficult to repeat somewhere else at this point. My overall friendship relationships have declined in the past 6-7 years but some are still somewhat good.

I have put up notches in Dallas and had relationships. It is a market that does require you to step up big time.

I'm a small to medium sized fish in a big ocean in Dallas and that's a tough spot.

I have said it before some men are in the wrong market and it's ok to acknowledge this.

I had that happen to me in Phoenix and I left Phoenix because of it. The Phoenix experience has factored into why I haven't left Dallas. Dallas has overall been better than Phoenix was for me.

I think you'd kill it in Salt lake city Utah

I have gotten feedback before that I am in the wrong market. I've gotten feedback that I would kill it in other markets. This is the first time I've specifically heard Salt Lake City. I have concerns about that market since I'm not a Mormon. There have been a lot of reports about non-Mormons struggling to date in Salt Lake City. I've read reports that Salt Lake City is less influenced by Mormon culture than it once was.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Guys are fvcking useless these days

Loads of misandry on here these days.

 

[SW15]

Loads of misandry on here these days.

Misandry is generally unhelpful. I would think other internet spaces would have more anti-male commentary than here.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Similar with lots of the younger guys I work with. I talk to them about this stuff. I think the blackpill is just so mainstream nowadays and it's just impossible to argue against it

Beyond whichever "pill" one invokes, it just SEEMS easier, in the short term, to retreat into fantasy worlds of video games, streaming, and social media. "My favorite content creator says the world is going to hell in a hand basket, so there's no point in making an effort" is a convenient rationalization, for folks who are already predisposed to think like that

 

[CornbreadFed]

I say this respectfully and I told you this before. If you don't like Dallas or can't compete in Dallas step your game up or move away. It's that simple. If you're not having success or the type of success you want why stay? whats keeping you there? a house? family? career? friends? is it enough for your misery?

I have said it before some men are in the wrong market and it's ok to acknowledge this. I think you'd kill it in Salt lake city Utah but personally I'm tired of guys complaining about their city and not do anything about it to change their situation, You don't get any sympathy from me (sorry not sorry). I don't relate to that mindset because it's a victim mindset to me. I prefer to win, and if that means I gotta move or something so be it.

Agree fully. I was an ugly man in Nashville regardless of whatever I did.

 

[SW15]

I was an ugly man in Nashville regardless of whatever I did.

Some markets are more difficult than others. I've called myself a small to medium sized fish in a big ocean in Dallas. It's good that I am a fish and not algae/plankton in a big ocean.

I am active in going to the gym, participating in sports, and have had career accomplishments in the looks and money variables.

 

[Solomon]

It's only very recently that i've noticed more of an apathy about it, though. Frustration has been replaced with a kind of acceptance. I have a fairly large social circle and can see lots of it first hand. Guys haven't gotten CLOSE to getting laid for YEARS. Normal guys with decent jobs etc. They go to the gym too. They could get laid (with very average looking girls) if they put some effort in (way way more approaches and just being more social), but they know that they aren't good looking enough (or famous lol) to get the young smokeshows they desire and they seem to be content with other avenues of pleasure. Travelling, sports, videogames, gym etc.

This is a huge issue on both sides, average people 20 years ago knew they were average and if they wanted to punch above their weight level they had to have or bring more to the table. A man who feels he deserves a "smokeshow" as a average man is no different than a fattie complaining about body positivity fairness. You even have these types on this forum and whining about something that won't change unless you have something that makes you stand out or above average it is what it is. No amount of whining, crying and complaining will fix that!

Some markets are more difficult than others. I've called myself a small to medium sized fish in a big ocean in Dallas. It's good that I am a fish and not algae/plankton in a big ocean.

I am active in going to the gym, participating in sports, and have had career accomplishments in the looks and money variables.

Didn't you say you make 35K a year? not to diss you but how is that an accomplishment?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Some markets are more difficult than others. I've called myself a small to medium sized fish in a big ocean in Dallas. It's good that I am a fish and not algae/plankton in a big ocean.

I am active in going to the gym, participating in sports, and have had career accomplishments in the looks and money variables.

what type of women do you generally go for?

 

[SW15]

Didn't you say you make 35K a year? not to diss you but how is that an accomplishment?

No, you have me confused with another poster.

what type of women do you generally go for?

Fit White women

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Everyone seems to be looking for a new angle on how to meet women. But the old ways are still working just fine though. The only setback that I have encountered with a famine of pvssy is that I get in my own way. I sabotage my own inner game. I stop going out less, stop forging friendships, take life to seriously etc.
To slay and find a potential girlfriend you gotta be out there like someone owes you money, man.

Game has changed a bit but there’s a core element that will never change. Women like an attractive guy who leads the charge. Throw in a light bad boy vibe, maybe project a lifestyle with substance and you got a winning strategy.

 

[CornbreadFed]

No, you have me confused with another poster.



Fit White women

yeah this is your problem. You are going for the top of the food chain and I’m assuming you don’t resemble a Chad bro in business.

 

[Redwood]

Isn't that mainly somewhat of the point? Should be seen as being zen.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Game has changed a bit but there’s a core element that will never change. Women like an attractive guy who leads the charge. Throw in a light bad boy vibe, maybe project a lifestyle with substance and you got a winning strategy.

I agree.
I think the main problem stems from people feeling entitled to attractive people without putting any work into becoming attractive themselves.

A man who feels he deserves a "smokeshow" as a average man is no different than a fattie complaining about body positivity fairness.

And is just as attractive.

It's not that difficult to get sex, but if you want to be with a 'high value' person while being 'low value' yourself is delusional. Even if an average man would snare a 'hottie', the 'value disparity' will break most of these relationships.

And you can see a general entitled attitude in both men and women. Both think they can manipulate reality to look more attractive to the other, but when reality hits and the attraction was all superficial, the relationship is rarely sustainable.

 

[Gamisch]

Noticing less traffic from newcomers and male dating advice content in general. It seems to have fell after Andrew Tate was taken down. In addition, I notice higher female ratios out in public now as opposed to sausage fests.

Thank you . If I would run this forum I guess I'd look at the numbers and wonder the same.

When 63 (or even 68) percent of men don't date...everyone in the dating sector will sooner or later ask this question. I bet the waiter at Romantic Restaurant XYZ wonders the same at times. Shyte is reaching a boiling point.

I kinda agree with @corrector . Unfortunately way more friends than I'd like been living like this for YEARS. Invisible to women, thus they habe no intent to improve.( why build a spaceship if you never go to the moon?) mentioned many times that two ex homies are following the passport bro route right now. A shame to lose these dudes as homies, but you won't convince them to chase p00sy on a Friday night. Yet, they're..eager enough to find a way to get their D wet somehow. It almost makes me proud..

When you do qualify as "dating worthy" the new struggle is the fact you can't BUILD with a woman. Chad /Tyrone's life is full of drama ,gaslighting, lies, cheating and trouble because there is always a better option around the corner.

Eventually the man with smv 9 and smv 2 meet each other somewhere in the middle with different complaints but the same outcome: an unhappy dating life.

 

[characternote]

I kinda agree with @corrector . Unfortunately way more friends than I'd like been living like this for YEARS. Invisible to women, thus they habe no intent to improve.( why build a spaceship if you never go to the moon?) mentioned many times that two ex homies are following the passport bro route right now. A shame to lose these dudes as homies, but you won't convince them to chase p00sy on a Friday night. Yet, they're..eager enough to find a way to get their D wet somehow. It almost makes me proud..

I don't think I have any friends who have gone that route, funnily enough.
I can think of one who banged really hot teenage Eastern European hookers every weekend before 'brexit' though lol. But never moved countries to exploit their white privilege.

But most really just seem to not be too bothered! They just spend a tonne of time doing other things, I guess as a kind of replacement. Travelling, porn, video games, jujitsu, gym, porn, football (soccer to most of you), pub nights, working overtime at their jobs, porn etc.

As I say, they arent' willing to do what I do/did to get laid as someone who didn't hit the genetic lottery (which was basically to approach a TONNE of girls and thus increase your odds of 'getting lucky'. Don't forget that cold approach is just tinder in person.)

Most of them would at least get laid from time to time with probably slightly chubby/older women if only they would approach a tonne and eat lots of rejections, but they don't seem to want that. They prefer to go without. Maybe they're hoping to get reincarnated as a good looking tall guy with a lantern jaw and great cheekbones and a great head of hair in their 'next life'! lol