Spinning plates or dating multiple women is overrated advice

[Solomon]

Quality Over quantity it's important. I rather have a woman who checks most of my list than have 4 women who bring little value besides sex(was there this summer what a waste of time).

 

[jhonny9546]

Quality Over quantity it's important. I rather have a woman who checks most of my list than have 4 women who bring little value besides sex(was there this summer what a waste of time).

Plus this! Personally, I've also noticed that I tend to attract certain kinds of women, mostly engaged or married women—especially older women friends I've met in my teens. This should mean something about me, but I still have to figure it out.

 

[Barrister]

“Spinning plates” has its benefits. I’ve found that whenever I get out of an LTR, I typically do nothing and reset for a couple of months right after. Then, I will go for about 6-12 months of “spinning plates” and seeing multiple women at once. It’s exhilarating and helps me reset my brain to stop focusing on the one I just lost.

I do agree with others it’s exhausting at the same time, especially when there’s so much going on in my life outside of women and dating. Seeing 2-3 women at once requires time and energy. I typically start to look to trim it down to one woman after about the one year mark. But it certainly is always a fun ride and recommend it to anyone coming out of an LTR. I can see why some guys would always perpetually do it as well.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

It depends on your overall success level and good looks - if you have both looks and money, then love of many women will come easily - then the choice between lifestyles may be considered as real because you can easily interest multiple hq (or at least good looking) women in yourself.

If you are average in money/success or looks, it's better to concentrate on having a stable relationship with a single high quality woman, having children with her and not getting divorce-raped for your own convenience because otherwise the choice will be between that and plowing "market returned" 3/10s to 6/10's females - any female that is objectively higher than that either enters into LTR rather fast or is warming bed of more successful guy hoping he will treat her as gf beyond it - the overall pay-off is usually greater on the monogamous side (which most of us understand intuitively).

So I agree there is a real, dichotomic choice between one and the other - but this choice depends on your SMV. If you cannot objectively assess your SMV you will end up plowing three or four 3/10's to 5/20's in the same time, calling them "plates". Now, I agree that 5/10 may be considered a "plate" - everyone of us eats from time to time something that is perfectly average. However, do you really want to eat a dish that is below-average? Is it worth the hassle? For me it's a rhetorical question.

 

[DJ Novice]

Spinning plates is fun…..until it isn’t.

Unless you have unlimited time, money, patience and energy the novelty will wear off eventually, especially if you are not getting much in return for your efforts or you don’t actually enjoy being around a woman from the s*x. Hedonic adaptation will mean what is new will become routine eventually.

While constantly chasing new bedroom experiences is a bottomless pit that will never be filled, I highly recommend it for guys out of a LTR or divorce for as long as you gain enjoyment from it (which in most cases will be time limited).

It helps build your confidence, creates an abundance mindset and helps you to understand female psychology and what aspects of women really are important to you apart from just the physical.

Sadly I have found not many women offer much value to your life beyond the bedroom and even in the bedroom department they may not be as compatible with you as you’d like them to be.

 

[Murk]

I agree with you OP, it’s a shame it took me a while to realise but my latter 20s and early 30s were a complete selfish self serving waste of time.

I’ve been saying for a while now on here that racking up a high notch count and spinning plates is damaging for us men. It’s not irreversible damage, but you don’t get that time and energy back.

 

[Chow Mein]

I agree with you OP, it’s a shame it took me a while to realise but my latter 20s and early 30s were a complete selfish self serving waste of time.

I’ve been saying for a while now on here that racking up a high notch count and spinning plates is damaging for us men. It’s not irreversible damage, but you don’t get that time and energy back.

I think a lot of men should realize that a ‘plate’ is someone who will make your life easier. If they are affecting your ambition and lifestyle, they should not be in the rotation.

 

[jhonny9546]

“Spinning plates” has its benefits. I’ve found that whenever I get out of an LTR, I typically do nothing and reset for a couple of months right after. Then, I will go for about 6-12 months of “spinning plates” and seeing multiple women at once. It’s exhilarating and helps me reset my brain to stop focusing on the one I just lost.

I do agree with others it’s exhausting at the same time, especially when there’s so much going on in my life outside of women and dating. Seeing 2-3 women at once requires time and energy. I typically start to look to trim it down to one woman after about the one year mark. But it certainly is always a fun ride and recommend it to anyone coming out of an LTR. I can see why some guys would always perpetually do it as well.

So you have developed a coping system when you leave relationships, you can get back on track right away!
That's a great thing!

While constantly chasing new bedroom experiences is a bottomless pit that will never be filled, I highly recommend it for guys out of a LTR or divorce for as long as you gain enjoyment from it (which in most cases will be time limited).

What about "chasing new bedroom experiences" with your LTR?

Simple. Combine young hottie with deep loving emotional connection. Those girls get wifed up young boys. And typically don't come back on the market unless the husband dies or does something dumb, like cheat.

And How do you spot those, other than they get wifed up young boys?

 

[jhonny9546]

Simple. Combine young hottie with deep loving emotional connection. Those girls get wifed up young boys. And typically don't come back on the market unless the husband dies or does something dumb, like cheat.

And How do you spot those, other than they get wifed up young boys?

 

[BeExcellent]

And How do you spot those, other than they get wifed up young boys?

Use your search cue and find the old thread How To Spot a Unicorn. Read through the first number of posts. That is the best answer I can give but I'd rather not retype it all.

 

[SW15]

How To Spot a Unicorn

Here's the thread...

How to Spot a Unicorn

As many of you know I am a woman here on SS. Many of the threads I see here are perplexing. Men complain that they aren't getting the lay on the first date or two so they next, others get the lay on the first date and complain that they can't find a high quality girl (and argue that women who...

www.sosuave.net

How to Spot a Unicorn was a thread started in 2016 and has remained active over time.