Worthy woman

[jhonny9546]

So, you actually want to meet women, and you can see that many people do this through their work, hobbies, social circles, or other avenues. They often settle for a woman they've found with whom they have something in common, leading to kids, marriage, and maybe after 10 or 15 years, a divorce because, when she changed her job, she met someone new and became attracted to him, or viceversa. Now, you can see this pattern everywhere: people enter LTR's based on initial attraction, cultural expectations, peer pressure, FOMO, or a lack of other options.
Since this scenario occurs due to biological attraction and the desire for something new, people often settle because of societal norms. As a result, they may find themselves unhappy in their LTRs after years of conflicts.


So how do you truly feel about someone who is worth an LTR?
How does a woman—whom you can only find after visiting many places, experiencing various circumstances, and going through numerous experiences—make you feel? How do you know you're not settling but have genuinely found someone who resonates with you? What qualities does this woman possess that make you feel differently as a man compared to other women with whom you also shared a connection? It's easier to discuss STR and ONS, but we are focusing on the perspective on LTR.

If we are here in the forum, I should not make this question, but sas this ever happened to you?
How does a "worthy" woman make you feel in a LTR in such a way that you can recognize her value when dating? How can you avoid cultural biases that pressure you to settle for someone for superficial reasons, and instead focus on the genuine feels this person brings/evoke to you? (This question is particularly relevant for those experiencing "oneitis.")

 

[Travel memoir21]

You can only attain her, when you’ve built a lifestyle and way of life that gets you more than one worthy woman worth your time.


So put your womanizing in the back burner over your purpose and pick your queen when it’s all set and done. Now that doesn’t mean not to date, but don’t waste your time on ho bags and learn the art of finding the quality women of your preference.

 

[jhonny9546]

You basically say the same thing.
1st Aboundance
2nd Selection
3rd keep your women friends while you're with the one.

Really look like a king life would have.

So many interactions with many different woman can only tell if you have a worthy woman in front of you, because you will compare her with your previous STR/LTR?

So this is so subjective we cannot make an objective thing?

 

[plumber]

If she is worthy it means that you trust her and she admires you.

Both trust and admiration can be damaged quick and easy. Worthy is like true. It changes based on new information.

This is why it is so important in the context of dating to be involved with SOMETHING that you can do well in. Well enough to earn admiration. The categories of things to choose from is endless. To find someone worthy, you must earn admiration.

 

[Vanderdonck]

How does a "worthy" woman make you feel in a LTR in such a way that you can recognize her value when dating? How can you avoid cultural biases that pressure you to settle for someone for superficial reasons, and instead focus on the genuine feels this person brings/evoke to you? (This question is particularly relevant for those experiencing "oneitis.")

She has to be 1000% on board with my mission in life and accept me for who I am as a person. That is more important than crazy feels, although chemistry matters too.

It's where I am now. I don't miss going out and philandering because I'm in a great spot. I've been in relationships in the past where they weren't on board, or were jealous, or used subterfuge to undercut my mission. Pink slip for them. I will live the life I want with or without you.

So point is if you meet a girl who's behind you and in fact encourages you when things get tough, that's the secret sauce, for me anyway. When I see other women in the field now I'm not as tempted because 90% are just a set of holes with terrible attitudes.

PS helps if she's hot and several years younger, lol.

 

[Vanderdonck]

As for avoiding cultural biases, if that's a powerful factor, it takes some strength to push back. In reality it's just one big illusion though. If family or friends are pressuring you it's more their problem than yours. People are going to criticize and talk no matter what you do, so you might as well look out for No. 1. That's my job in life, take care of me so I can enjoy my time on this planet. Once you have ironclad acceptance of the self (and that your self is subject to change as you see fit), the rest is just background noise.

 

[jhonny9546]

To find someone worthy, you must earn admiration.

I suspect this is not love, and I do understand what do you mean, but do we know how much that would last?

If family or friends are pressuring you // Once you have ironclad acceptance of the self (and that your self is subject to change as you see fit), the rest is just background noise.

Your point of view is clear, but I also see different aspects here. I've heard the phrases "he is not welcome" and "we don't like him" many times, but what people say and what they do can be quite different. You might hear these quotes from a family member confidently talking to You, about their son or husband, but their actions often tell another story.
There are still compromises in life. In these cases, people may stay together due to traditional ways of thinking—he has resources, and she keeps the family and home clean and healthy—but there may be a lack of admiration between them.

 

[Gamisch]

You remind me of my Arab homeboy. Struggling with traditional values in modern times.

Imagine you'd enter relationships with the mindset that it's just temporary fun, a great way to entertain yourself and kill time instead if a Disney fantasy where you are the prince and she's the poor girl that needs guidance from you.

Not to be harsh, and by heart I am also bluepilled, but you gotta get with the times. I told all the homies who are going through a mid/ third life crisis regarding women the same; the deeper you go the harder it will be to come back to the surface...when she BECOMES your identity and she does you dirty...you will NEVER be ready for that day. Even if you somehow could look into the future and knew the exact time ( and that's something you'll NEVER know)

(Lonely) men will say they'd happily be with a woman even if the would know the relationship will only be 10 years. But once time is up they'll learn they are attached and that their identity is completely woven into her personality and presence. These are/ were the men who marry 5 times and getting taken the cleaners every- damn-time.

 

[jhonny9546]

But once time is up they'll learn they are attached and that their identity is completely woven into her personality and presence. These are/ were the men who marry 5 times and getting taken the cleaners every- damn-time.

I can feel that since I've developed oneitis, I've been single, been in LTR, STR and FB situation. However, if there is something I still struggle with, it's what you describe.

For me, it's not just about loving a woman; I am a loyal person to my friends. So when I start to consider her as my friend—because you do—I also experience that "admiration" thing you get from your friends (the positives they have), and I tend to overlook their negatives. This might have happened to you as well.

Imagine you'd enter relationships with the mindset that it's just temporary fun, a great way to entertain yourself and kill time instead if a Disney fantasy where you are the prince and she's the poor girl that needs guidance from you.

Well, you should also look at life in this way, but it may not be possible, since you have a more profound nature

 

[plumber]

I suspect this is not love, and I do understand what do you mean, but do we know how much that would last?

It will last exactly until the admiration falls.

Remember... men and women are chemically and biologically different. Her love is not your love and it does not base from the same.

This is one of several VERY important and sad things to learn on the journey.

You can keep admiration, it requires really being and doing.

If everyone is cool then it does not creat admiration to be cool. You have to be BETTER than others in view. The best in view gets the admiration within category. The scope of the view is important, social media exponentially grows the view scope as do cities.

Another lesson is that it is not something the girl can control, its part of what she is.

Imagine NO marriage or no social contracts. She reselects every day based on current situation. This is really what happens under the veil of the contracts.

 

[jhonny9546]

She reselects every day based on current situation

Metaphor:
Women seek jobs because they need them to survive. They sign contracts, but they also keep an eye on the market for better opportunities. In contrast, once men achieve a "stable" version of their lives, they tend to focus on that stability. While men may want to excel, they often prefer to stay within the comfort zone of their daily routines. Women, on the other hand, tend to seek something "extra." This is evident in VIP relationships, where a woman may not feel settled even at that level.

But should we, as men, feel troubled by this? Not at all. For example, I envision my life with a family and children, alongside a loyal partner. I understand that this partner could pursue her own ambitions as well. I believe this is a realistic perspective. I don't want to abandon my desire to have children and build a family simply because some women may not be loyal.

That is my mission as a man. I want to ensure that I am solid in myself. I aim to create a foundation for my life—like building a business, establishing a home, and fostering a local community—so that if my partner chooses to leave, I still have my own pursuits to rely on. My life is based on these principles, not solely on a woman. I can see married woman with kids flirting in everyday life, and how they will makeup their husband mind, to end the relationship to jump on another one.

In my research and experiences, I have found that in modern world, women who work alongside their partners in business tend to be more loyal and happier. The lack of proximity to other men can foster stronger bonds, allowing them to focus on making their partners, and family happy.
The only place those woman would be allowed to be in contact with man are the gyms or any other aggregation place for their desired activity. A woman who work on a job in a masculine environment, will, before or after, cheat on his man.

 

[plumber]

In my research and experiences, I have found that in modern world, women who work alongside their partners in business tend to be more loyal and happier. The lack of proximity to other men can foster stronger bonds, allowing them to focus on making their partners, and family happy.
The only place those woman would be allowed to be in contact with man are the gyms or any other aggregation place for their desired activity. A woman who work on a job in a masculine environment, will, before or after, cheat on his man.

yea, sounds about right. not only in work, any environment where admiration can grow unless the chosen spouse is in view and above.

its natural reaction, not something evil.

 

[plumber]

Basically what you are saying is that women should be pedestaling you.

interesting choice of words. yes this is the idea, I choose the word admiration as it has slightly different meaning than your word.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Seems like a smart thread.

Your woman should admire you, if for no other reason than you refuse to put HER on a pedestal; you refuse to give in to her feminine, ever-changing wants and desires. YOU hold the frame, and you make it clear in the beginning that you're willing to walk if she doesn't fall in line.

If you can project this, you're miles ahead of the average man.

As far as love goes, I've never been with a woman that I didn't lose respect for as time passed. I have high standards, because I was raised on sosuave.

Women see the disappointment in my face. They ask me what's wrong, but you can't explain 20 years of the red-pill to a woman.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I read stories about men pedestaling women, but I always imagine these people in a far off land. No way men still do this, right?

Wrong, Veteran. Men still won't to do this. And I get why. Because they haven't fully swallowed the red pill

But you have to overcome this. You have to learn to look down on women as inferior beings.

You have to learn that women want a man that is in charge; they don't want someone to talk about their feelings with, or talk about their shopping trips with. They have other women for that...

Yeah, it sounds harsh. So what? Get used to reality, bud. Or get rolled over.

Your choice

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

My old lady complains that I never apologize...

Damn right. I never apologize. And you shouldn't, either.

But I'm quick to criticize her on something lol.

Damn right. I have high standards.

My old lady has been sexting an ex-boyfriend that lives 3 states away. Do I give a fvck?

No. I was always willing to walk and I'm lining up my eggs to do just such a thing. There's nothing anyone can do to hurt me, as I've already envisioned the exact scenario multiple times in my head.

 

[jhonny9546]

you refuse to give in to her feminine, ever-changing wants and desires.

While the other things you mentioned are relatively easy to do, this one is not.
What if her desire now is to do it while she is tied to the table or to try other things? Wouldn't you indulge her?
What if her desire is for you to eat healthy? Wouldn't you do it?
Etc..

In this particular case, it's as if we are listening to a child talk. When he opens up about his desires, we first listen to him, then we determine whether these desires fall within our limits and from there, we decide whether to grant them, as if she were asking for permission.

However, there are certain things you must grant.
You also need to maintain that "communication humor" in those situations which is better than "authority" which you would use 1 time of 10

You have to learn that women want a man that is in charge;

Agree

they don't want someone to talk about their feelings with

Disagree