Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

[BaronOfHair]

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/08/31/547320586/fatherhood-after-forty-its-now-a-lot-more-common-study-finds

Far from ubiquitous, but it's becoming more common, and likely will continue to do so. Modern men have to spend a larger portion of our early lives on training and education, then becoming financially solid than our forefathers did, while even Woke-ish young women like this chick

5:22-forward

Still desire kids and husbands in their 2nd decades of life

Only downside to all of this:

After a fells croaks, his much younger widow is likely to pen a memoir

https://www.npr.org/2024/06/06/nx-s1-4995729/consent-jill-ciment-review

That spends over 200 pages mulling over the alleged "Power Asymmetry" in your decades long marriage

 

[SW15]

I think there's a lot of hype around big age gap couples where the man is substantially older but it doesn't happen all that much.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/08/31/547320586/fatherhood-after-forty-its-now-a-lot-more-common-study-finds

Far from ubiquitous, but it's becoming more common, and likely will continue to do so. Modern men have to spend a larger portion of our early lives on training and education, then becoming financially solid than our forefathers did, while even Woke-ish young women like this chick Still desire kids and husbands

Becoming a father after 40 is not something I would desire. It seems more difficult in many years. A man might be more economically prepared for it but energetically less prepared for it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Becoming a father after 40 is not something I would desire

What we desire may be increasingly immaterial. It takes modern men longer to become fatherhood material, and there's no sign of this reversing itself

 

[Travel memoir21]

It is Wedding season, lots of friends and acquaintances are getting married......

So don't be surprised when pregnancy announcements pops up a few months later.

 

[SW15]

It takes modern men longer to become fatherhood material, and there's no sign of this reversing itself

This may be true for a certain type of father. I see this as being more true for middle class + types who want to be married and involved in their children's lives.

In lower end social circles, this isn't as much of a consideration.

It is Wedding season, lots of friends and acquaintances are getting married......

So don't be surprised when pregnancy announcements pops up a few months later.

It is wedding season.

2024 is the first year in a long time when none of my friends or acquaintances have a wedding planned. The majority of my friends and acquaintances were married between 2016-2021, but one friend did get married last year. Posts #90, #98, #100, #103, #105, #114, #119 mention this event.

I think that most of the weddings resulted in a pregnancy announcement about 2-4 years after the wedding date. If the woman was in her 30s on the wedding date, attempts at pregnancy started sooner. Some of the weddings in my primary social circle involved women who were later discovered to have fertility issues and needed IVF for pregnancy.

The one 2023 Wedding Season wedding mentioned in Posts #90, etc. resulted in a pregnancy on the honeymoon. That was an older couple with a 35 year old woman. She didn't expect to conceive that fast but the honeymoon date was timed with her ovulation.

Some weddings in my social circle were timed so far in advance that the woman would not have been able to reasonably plan the wedding or honeymoon around the most fertile parts of her menstrual cycle. Additionally, some women don't get off birth control until after the wedding day.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This may be true for a certain type of father. I see this as being more true for middle class + types who want to be married and involved in their children's lives

And given that most men's goal is attaining a life that's upper middle class-all points beyond, it stands to reason that the number of huys becoming fathers later in life will increase

 

[SW15]

And given that most men's goal is attaining a life that's upper middle class-all points beyond, it stands to reason that the number of huys becoming fathers later in life will increase

Most people end up dating someone close to their own ages too. Always remember that women are the gatekeepers to sex and that extended relationships won't happen without sex. More and more women are getting bachelor's degrees or higher. Women who get bachelor's degrees often don't want to have their first child before their 30th birthday. A woman with a bachelor's degree or an advanced degree having her first child at 31-34 is going to have a child with a man near her own age in most cases.

 

[SW15]

There's a little bit of activity to mention in what has been my primary social circle.

I recommend reviewing Post #80 of this thread as it will help with context for what I'm about to mention. I've linked it below to make it easier.

Pregnancy Announcements Everywhere! Life When Your Blue Pill Social Circle Starts Having Babies

Seems more like nature's programming and copycat syndrome. In looking at my local area social circle, there's a lot of copycat syndrome. Many of the marriage in my local area social circle were clustered close to each other. Right now, there have been 7 pregnancies in my social circle in a less...

www.sosuave.net

There's a core group of 5 males in addition to myself. These were the men who attended that gathering on July 2, 2023 mentioned in Post #80. All 5 males right now are married with 1-2 children. We all met in the early 2010s as unmarried guys.

One of the 5 guys moved to another city in the late 2010s. He has returned to this city where I live for a long weekend this weekend. In Post #80, he was the man who told me that my bachelor lifestyle with a lot of freedom was the right choice in life. His presence this weekend has caused social get togethers between those 5 guys. In general, the other 4 guys who remain in this city do not see each other as often. The guys have all moved further apart and wives and babies get in the way. I only see 2 of those 4 guys as only 2 of those 4 guys have ever been my friends. The other 2 are acquaintances.

I picked up the former resident guy visiting for the weekend from the airport yesterday. We spent the afternoon together on a sporting activity and socializing before I drove him to an all couples dinner. I told him what I'd be doing after dropping him off at dinner. I was headed to a nearby breastaurant near this all couples dinner. He said that he would rather go to the breastaurant with me and he knew that all the guys at this all couples dinner would rather have gone to the breastaurant with me than do a boring couples dinner.

At various times since Post #80, the 3 guys that I am friends with in this primary social circle with infant/toddler children have expressed dissatisfaction with their married man sex lives.

Think about that for a moment. Bachelor men with a somewhat active sex life have superior sex lives than married men. There has also been research done recently that married men in the 1980s had more sex with their wives than married men in the 2010s-2020s.

An incel/borderline incel man would consider the sex lives of married men as acceptable. Sex 1-2 times a month with a wife sounds like a good deal to an incel man. It isn't that good of a deal though. A man who has the ability to attract women, initially seduce them, and retain them for some period of time after the initial seduction is going to be able to have more sex than the majority of married men.

I think it is important for bachelor men, especially 30+ bachelor men to realize this. As a 30+ bachelor man, having the ability to attract women and not get traditionally monogamously married is advantageous.

For me, as I have spoken to more and more married men (both inside and outside this primary social circle), the more I realize that the life of the typical married man with a blue pill ideology towards romantic relationships is overrated.

 

[SW15]

One of the biggest challenges that a man with mostly blue pill social circle faces as he ages is a lack of potential wingmen to join him at the bar.

Over the past 8-10 years, I have seen my pool of potential wingmen decrease. It has been multiple years since I have had a friend who would be willing to join me as a wingman at bars.

During this time, I have gone out to bars alone and done approaches. When I do bar visits, I tend to prefer to have a wingman with me.

In the early 2010s, I became more of a daygame focused approacher. The majority of my approaching has happened in non-bar venues since 2012-2013. Prior to then, I spent my late teens and most of my 20s as a nightlife venue approacher (off campus college parties and then bars once I turned 21).

Most 30+ single men deal with this differently than I have. The typical 30+ single man who loses his bar wingmen ends up as an app swiper and/or social media DM'er. Most of them will be app swipers.

I'm proud of myself for being a primarily daygame guy over the past 12 years when I've needed to find new pussie.

 

[Manure Spherian]

One of the biggest challenges that a man with mostly blue pill social circle faces as he ages is a lack of potential wingmen to join him at the bar.

Over the past 8-10 years, I have seen my pool of potential wingmen decrease. It has been multiple years since I have had a friend who would be willing to join me as a wingman at bars.

During this time, I have gone out to bars alone and done approaches. When I do bar visits, I tend to prefer to have a wingman with me.

In the early 2010s, I became more of a daygame focused approacher. The majority of my approaching has happened in non-bar venues since 2012-2013. Prior to then, I spent my late teens and most of my 20s as a nightlife venue approacher (off campus college parties and then bars once I turned 21).

Most 30+ single men deal with this differently than I have. The typical 30+ single man who loses his bar wingmen ends up as an app swiper and/or social media DM'er. Most of them will be app swipers.

I'm proud of myself for being a primarily daygame guy over the past 12 years when I've needed to find new pussie.

How do you sustain such motivation? I would be fried!

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

One of the biggest challenges that a man with mostly blue pill social circle faces as he ages is a lack of potential wingmen to join him at the bar.

Over the past 8-10 years, I have seen my pool of potential wingmen decrease. It has been multiple years since I have had a friend who would be willing to join me as a wingman at bars.

During this time, I have gone out to bars alone and done approaches. When I do bar visits, I tend to prefer to have a wingman with me.

In the early 2010s, I became more of a daygame focused approacher. The majority of my approaching has happened in non-bar venues since 2012-2013. Prior to then, I spent my late teens and most of my 20s as a nightlife venue approacher (off campus college parties and then bars once I turned 21).

Most 30+ single men deal with this differently than I have. The typical 30+ single man who loses his bar wingmen ends up as an app swiper and/or social media DM'er. Most of them will be app swipers.

I'm proud of myself for being a primarily daygame guy over the past 12 years when I've needed to find new pussie.

I think it's both a social and personal thing nowadays.

There is an overall exhaustion from men when it comes of dating or even hunting.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I think it's both a social and personal thing nowadays.

There is an overall exhaustion from men when it comes of dating or even hunting.

Can we define “dating” here? Is it simply going on dates with women or sexual flings?

 

[SW15]

How do you sustain such motivation? I would be fried!

I have had strong testosterone levels throughout adulthood.

For the last decade or so, I have been practicing no porn & no masturbation. That helps get me motivated to seduce women.

I have had some extended relationships during the last 25 years as well.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I have had strong testosterone levels throughout adulthood.

For the last decade or so, I have been practicing no porn & no masturbation. That helps get me motivated to seduce women.

I have had some extended relationships during the last 25 years as well.

Do you plan on this until your 70s?

 

[SW15]

Do you plan on this until your 70s?

It could turn out that way.

 

[DJ Novice]

As you get older dating becomes more tiresome and you start to question your return on dating investment.

The amount of money + energy + time you invest looking for an enthusiastic bedroom participant and stress free, enjoyable company becomes increasingly hard to justify. Plus as you age the pool of attractive women shrink if they are around the same age as you.

Very few women just want a FB type relationship, at least from my experience and at my age (56). Which means lots of jumping through hoops, non-s*xual time and attention often in return for mediocre and/or infrequent s*x.

It’s very tempting to settle down for someone who is attractive and takes care of themselves, genuinely finds you desirable, actually enjoys s*x with you and wishes to please you both inside and outside the bedroom, is not a pain in the a*se to be around and consistently demonstrates these behaviours over an extended period of time.

 

[SW15]

As you get older dating becomes more tiresome and you start to question your return on dating investment.

The amount of money + energy + time you invest looking for an enthusiastic bedroom participant and stress free, enjoyable company becomes increasingly hard to justify. Plus as you age the pool of attractive women shrink if they are around the same age as you.

I agree with this.

At what age do you think the pool of attractive shrinks if they are around the same as you? I'd go with 35, though it could be as low as 30.

Very few women just want a FB type relationship, at least from my experience and at my age (56). Which means lots of jumping through hoops, non-s*xual time and attention often in return for mediocre and/or infrequent s*x.

I think 30 is about when this changes.

Women in their 30s/early 40s tend not to want to have casual sex with men of a similar age. These women tend to see men of a similar age as men for extended relationships.

This article explains the phenomenon well.

https://alphamale20.com/2015/12/14/the-power-of-beta-males/

In this thread, it's about my primary social circle. This primary social circle right now has a bunch of married men ages 35-40 with infants/toddlers. The similarly aged women have been having their "Last Call Babies" with them since 2022 when I started the thread.

Multiple men have mentioned dissatisfaction with their sex life since the wife's first pregnancy in conversations with me. Some of them have only had 1 child. There are a couple of people from this social circle (less well known to me) who have had 2nd kids.

 

[SW15]

In this thread, it's about my primary social circle. This primary social circle right now has a bunch of married men ages 35-40 with infants/toddlers. The similarly aged women have been having their "Last Call Babies" with them since 2022 when I started the thread.

Multiple men have mentioned dissatisfaction with their sex life since the wife's first pregnancy in conversations with me. Some of them have only had 1 child. There are a couple of people from this social circle (less well known to me) who have had 2nd kids.

I don't have a lot of contact now with most of these guys. Most of these guys are juggling the responsibilities of work, raising infants/toddlers, and also having 1-2 dogs around the households. Most of them barely have time to answer a text message from me, let alone have a phone conversation or get together in-person with me.

Some of the guys have moved to other cities too. The ones who are still local to me have moved further from the city center and they are all in various suburbs. They are often absorbed in their suburban single family houses with their infants/toddlers and dogs. Their level of happiness with the arrangement is questionable.

 

[SW15]

All those friends having kids and posting them for the world to see on Facebook, give it 2 years minimum and you’ll see them broken up and they’ll be coming back around with their baby mamma drama. Mark my words.

I don't think 2 years is long enough. In referring to the 5 recent pregnancies from my social circle, these are generally dual income households with household incomes over $125,000. Couples like those don't tend to divorce until the children are in elementary school. One of these 5 women has a husband who is a complete dweeb and she's high level cute/borderline hot. Pre-pregnancy, she was at least a 7. No idea how she's not cucking him. She's an acquaintance I've not seen in over a year.

I was correct here in responding to @Robert28 in November 2022. 2 years wasn't long enough. There haven't been any recent divorces in the social circle, though I have noted in the last 2 years that multiple men have complained to me about the quality of sex lives and general lives on the parenthood track.

None of these people have children in elementary school yet as their children are still infants/toddlers. I expect to see some divorces once the oldest child hits elementary school.

Failing marriages are slow moving.

A lot of these people are still posting social media content on Facebook and Instagram that would give off the illusion of happiness. Red pilled divorce attorney James Sexton has mentioned before that he's seen many people with happy looking social media accounts in his office fighting out a divorce.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I was correct here in responding to @Robert28 in November 2022. 2 years wasn't long enough. There haven't been any recent divorces in the social circle, though I have noted in the last 2 years that multiple men have complained to me about the quality of sex lives and general lives on the parenthood track.

None of these people have children in elementary school yet as their children are still infants/toddlers. I expect to see some divorces once the oldest child hits elementary school.

Failing marriages are slow moving.

A lot of these people are still posting social media content on Facebook and Instagram that would give off the illusion of happiness. Red pilled divorce attorney James Sexton has mentioned before that he's seen many people with happy looking social media accounts in his office fighting out a divorce.

Do you think perhaps these men fell for the goofy notion that marriage and fatherhood was going to be about perpetual happiness and other fuzzy-wuzzy feelings, similar to women expecting their husbands to be court jesters providing constant laughs and thrills?

I’ve been with my wife for near fifteen years and married for most of them. We have children. Despite some marital strife here and there, I have never felt generally unhappy. I never expected marriage would give me perpetual joy and fuzzy wuzzies, or that child raising wasn’t going to be time and energy consuming. I also never severed ties with friends or gave up personal interests or my identity. There has been much joy, but I do not rely on positive experiences or feeling to stay constant. Hence I’m not dissatisfied.