If you focus on the woman when you have sex, you're doing it wrong

FlexpertHamilton

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You don't need to be coy with me, I'm not one of your targets.


Getting pussie matters the most.

It's possible for women to have sex with a man she doesn't respect. If that's happening, the guy must be good looking.
See this is where the point of contention is. It's better to have self-respect and take the L rather than getting shallow sex from a woman who doesn't admire and respect you.




My current main girlfriend can only climax being on top of me cowgirl style and riding me so hard that I have chafing if it goes on for any length of time ( if I last that long which I usually don’t). I’m talking headboard/bed shaking and **** breaking hard.

She can’t climax from any other position or bedroom technique including oral. Believe me I’ve tried. She jokes that there’s something wrong with her. It’s been the same issue with her exes as well (only two in her life).

I know that’s what she ‘wants’ but it gets boring as she always defaults to hard cowgirl style when she wants to get off no matter what else we are doing in the bedroom.
That's fairly common for me too, women seem to get off more riding me, which I usually have them do once I'm worn out or bored, I do enjoy it a lot. Otherwise I usually can make them *** from missionary when I take their legs and put them on my shoulders, you can get so fvcking deep.





Women enjoy sex with men they find attractive. It doesn’t matter if ur a minute man, go in raw, etc.
Yes, but this is an incomplete view. As I said, I've been with women for months who didn't respect me but still enjoyed the sex a ton, just b/c they were attracted or b/c we had good sexual chemistry. It says nothing about the nature of your relationship; her level of attraction and enjoyment of sex is largely independant of her respect for you. That's why a socialiate housewife will fvck a pool boy then talk down to him to her friends later as nothing but big dvcked boytoy fvck machine.
 

SW15

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Women enjoy sex with men they find attractive.
It's true. That's why looks are more important than money, status, and personality. While all 4 variables matter in attraction and retention, looks matter the most.

Courtney Ryan chose dweeb Teddy Baldassarre for money/status after getting ran through by the hot guys at the foam party at Spring Break in Florida.

Do you think she actually enjoys sex with dweeb Teddy more than she'd enjoy sex with a 6'0"+ fit/muscular man? Highly doubtful.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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It's true. That's why looks are more important than money, status, and personality. While all 4 variables matter in attraction and retention, looks matter the most.

Courtney Ryan chose dweeb Teddy Baldassarre for money/status after getting ran through by the hot guys at the foam party at Spring Break in Florida.

Do you think she actually enjoys sex with dweeb Teddy more than she'd enjoy sex with a 6'0"+ fit/muscular man? Highly doubtful.
No, but enjoyment of sex isn't everything. If a woman respects her man she will be loyal to him even if he doesn't lay down the best pipe she's ever had, just has to be good enough.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Women enjoy sex with men they find attractive. It doesn’t matter if ur a minute man, go in raw, etc.
Eventually it does. That only goes so far if you keep disappointing them in the bedroom.

Men should stop trying to excuse their poor performance there and treat it like anything else in life. You should always be looking to improve in all aspects, and especially in areas where you can gain much bigger advantages over the competition. There is no place you can gain a bigger advantage over other men than in the bedroom, IMO.
 

CornbreadFed

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Eventually it does. That only goes so far if you keep disappointing them in the bedroom.

Men should stop trying to excuse their poor performance there and treat it like anything else in life. You should always be looking to improve in all aspects, and especially in areas where you can gain much bigger advantages over the competition. There is no place you can gain a bigger advantage over other men than in the bedroom, IMO.
I mean that’s just an extreme example. I don’t think your average attractive guy with rizz is that stupid lol.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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You don't need to be coy with me, I'm not one of your targets.
That wasn't coy, I was trying to get you to think up your own examples, but apparently that was an unreasonable request.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Women enjoy sex with men they find attractive.
No, they want sex with men they find attractive. Doesn't mean they will enjoy the sex.
Most men are lousy at sex, but most of them will at least try to put some effort into making her enjoy the sex. However, just like pretty women are often better at fellatio than gorgeous women, aesthetically less gifted men tend to outperform beautiful men.
It doesn’t matter if ur a minute man, go in raw, etc.
If you just want to f*ck a woman once, then it doesn't matter if you're a minute man or go in raw. You're not going for seconds anyway.
But if you want to bind a woman to you with sex, you better be good at what you do.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Eventually it does. That only goes so far if you keep disappointing them in the bedroom.

Men should stop trying to excuse their poor performance there and treat it like anything else in life. You should always be looking to improve in all aspects, and especially in areas where you can gain much bigger advantages over the competition. There is no place you can gain a bigger advantage over other men than in the bedroom, IMO.
I agree, my only point is that I think men make the mistake of focusing too much on the purely physical aspects of sex; my grander point that I've been trying to make is that sex is mostly psychological for women, so one way of indirectly making sex better is having a better relationship OUTSIDE the bedroom which will translate into better sex. For instance, if a girl is super into you she'll be much more inclined to initiate spontaneous sex in a car, on a hike, public bathroom, or on the kitchen counter - while those may be sloppy and quick and she might not get off, they fvcking love it b/c it's raw, dirty, and hot, and they'll probably constantly bring it up in conversation and tell you how hot it was and touch themselves thinking about it when they're alone.

On the physical side, of course some things matter a great deal, for instance having the right rhythm/pacing and listening to how she responds, as opposed to jackhammering like a dolt, but does that really need to be said? That's level 1 shvt, and I am assuming everyone here knows that already.


That wasn't coy, I was trying to get you to think up your own examples, but apparently that was an unreasonable request.
Nah I'm just not always good at coming up with hypothetical examples. I did just come up with one example though. She might want you to "hit her spot" with the right angle, give her a sensual experience, but maybe she just needs to be choked, hair pulled, and jackhammered super hard until she can't walk.
 
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AmsterdamAssassin

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What's an example of what she wants vs needs? Genuinely curious.
Okay, what she wants vs what she needs:
Maybe you remember that I said: what everybody wants is Attention & Validation (A&V). This makes A&V your currency. Like money, you pay attention and you validate what pleases you.

Now, A&V has a curious property: it gives you confidence when you get it, but when you don't get it... you lose confidence. That's why the most insecure people are the biggest A&V seekers (which is why many, if not most, celebrities are insecure A&V black holes).

Another property of A&V is that the value is highly dependent on the person bestowing the A&V on you. If you make sure you look good and you're strutting around trying to get A&V from women, the value of the A&V is directly related to the attractiveness of the woman giving you A&V. Getting lustful glances from unattractive women won't give you that A&V confidence you'd enjoy if an attractive woman appreciates your looks.

And a third interesting property of A&V is that you value it more when you have to put effort into earning the A&V. This is why I don't give my A&V freely to any woman who wants it. If I give a woman what she wants without her having to put any effort into getting it, she will put my A&V with the other freely given A&V she gets from her 'orbiters'.

However, most of the orbiters don't really know her. They don't know what she needs.

What she needs is the A&V from a man who can really SEE her. Someone she can respect because she cannot manipulate him with sex, but she has to be naked before him, drop her mask and her modesty, and be appreciated without fearing judgment. Someone who can and will penetrate her mind before penetrating her willing body.

Although what she needs seems similar to what she wants, there's a difference in whether you're handed something on a silver platter or if you have to put time and effort into getting it. Freely given A&V loses its appear very quickly, but earned A&V is cherished.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I did just come up with one example though. She might want you to "hit her spot" with the right angle, give her a sensual experience, but maybe she just needs to be choked, hair pulled, and jackhammered super hard until she can't walk.
You have to ask yourself, what is the most pleasurable sexual experience for a woman? To give you a clue: it's not the orgasm.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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You have to ask yourself, what is the most pleasurable sexual experience for a woman? To give you a clue: it's not the orgasm.
That's what I've literally been saying this entire thread lol

Okay, what she wants vs what she needs:
Maybe you remember that I said: what everybody wants is Attention & Validation (A&V). This makes A&V your currency. Like money, you pay attention and you validate what pleases you.

Now, A&V has a curious property: it gives you confidence when you get it, but when you don't get it... you lose confidence. That's why the most insecure people are the biggest A&V seekers (which is why many, if not most, celebrities are insecure A&V black holes).

Another property of A&V is that the value is highly dependent on the person bestowing the A&V on you. If you make sure you look good and you're strutting around trying to get A&V from women, the value of the A&V is directly related to the attractiveness of the woman giving you A&V. Getting lustful glances from unattractive women won't give you that A&V confidence you'd enjoy if an attractive woman appreciates your looks.

And a third interesting property of A&V is that you value it more when you have to put effort into earning the A&V. This is why I don't give my A&V freely to any woman who wants it. If I give a woman what she wants without her having to put any effort into getting it, she will put my A&V with the other freely given A&V she gets from her 'orbiters'.

However, most of the orbiters don't really know her. They don't know what she needs.

What she needs is the A&V from a man who can really SEE her. Someone she can respect because she cannot manipulate him with sex, but she has to be naked before him, drop her mask and her modesty, and be appreciated without fearing judgment. Someone who can and will penetrate her mind before penetrating her willing body.

Although what she needs seems similar to what she wants, there's a difference in whether you're handed something on a silver platter or if you have to put time and effort into getting it. Freely given A&V loses its appear very quickly, but earned A&V is cherished.
Makes sense :up:
 

BackInTheGame78

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I mean that’s just an extreme example. I don’t think your average attractive guy with rizz is that stupid lol.
Extreme example of what?

Most men are not good in the bedroom. The average man lasts 10 minutes.

That's pathetic.
 

CornbreadFed

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Extreme example of what?

Most men are not good in the bedroom. The average man lasts 10 minutes.

That's pathetic.
10 minutes is too long to be having sex. Sounds like you got death grip lol. Either way, if the girl is not attracted to you and you make her pvssy drier than the Saraha then no 20 minutes of pumping ain’t gonna make her like it lol.
 

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BackInTheGame78

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10 minutes is too long to be having sex. Sounds like you got death grip lol. Either way, if the girl is not attracted to you and you make her pvssy drier than the Saraha then no 20 minutes of pumping ain’t gonna make her like it lol.
Yeah OK...

Stop making excuses because you have piss poor control of your body functions and lack skills where it counts.

Just stop with the nonsense trying to say it doesn't matter. Unless you like hearing about her having headaches every night because she doesn't want to have terrible sex again.

Women can be attracted to many different men. Guarantee the one who sucks the most in the bedroom is going to be the first one gone.
 

CornbreadFed

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Just stop with the nonsense trying to say it doesn't matter. Unless you like hearing about her having headaches every night because she doesn't want to have terrible sex again.

Women can be attracted to many different men. Guarantee the one who sucks the most in the bedroom is going to be the first one gone.
This all depends on the women. Lower value women will prioritize sex over other benefits because they are low value. In addition, it makes zero sense for a high value guy to be bad in bed with the sexual experience he has unless he’s selfish in bed or a Tim Tebow. Being good or bad in bed does not directly reflect how long you last. There’s more factors that to that physical and emotional. I still have a hard time believing that a high value male will be completely bad in bed to the point of being repulsive. Sex isn’t that complicated lol.
 

The Duke

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The two biggest complaints Ive heard from women about former lovers is the guy was done in 10-15min, and she rarely ever got off.
 

CornbreadFed

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The two biggest complaints Ive heard from women about former lovers is the guy was done in 10-15min, and she rarely ever got off.
I hate to pull this card, but I am going to have to call complete bullshvt on both of yall. I can run a mile in 6-5 minutes and accomplishing this is ridiculous in addition to the girl having to endure it. I find it hard to believe that random posters on sosuave.com think this is a normal task. Help me understand, how the time it takes to walk 2 laps around a Walmart Supercenter is considered a normal sex for a male.
 

The Duke

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I hate to pull this card, but I am going to have to call complete bullshvt on both of yall. I can run a mile in 6-5 minutes and accomplishing this is ridiculous in addition to the girl having to endure it. I find it hard to believe that random posters on sosuave.com think this is a normal task. Help me understand, how the time it takes to walk 2 laps around a Walmart Supercenter is considered a normal sex for a male.
Send your girl to my house and she can vote for who she liked better. ;-).

So you are telling us your girl cums every time and is happy with 15min sex sessions?

I don't care what's normal or isn't. I make sure she is satisfied and I am too. I've been told many times I am good in bed. Girls tell me they have never orgasmed so many times as they have with me. I hear it all the time. Maybe they are lieing? Do they tell you that? Wet pu$$y usually doesn't lie tho.
 
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