It Is Easy For Most Women To Move On

[Hamurabimbi]

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Men love romantically.

Women love transactionally.

Since this is a safe space to get long in the tooth I'll throw in my two cents.

Men evolved to feel insanely strong emotional bonds to women so they'd keep producing to feed mom and the kids for life.

There's no evolutionary reason why a dude would be able to recover quickly from a lost love, since it likely rarely happened in the stone age.

And if it did (he lost his lady for whatever reason) there was no pressing need to recover quickly as he could still feed himself.

Women, on the other hand, had a huge vested interested to keep the calories coming from pretty much any provider lest she and her kids would starve.

Any woman that hesitated before moving on to the next dude would starve and she'd be removed from the gene pool.

Hence your two very valid and true points.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'll take things not to say to ex-cartel members for $500, Alex.

Hide behind your mother's skirts, Billy Bibbit.

He is making enemies with everyone smh lol

"Enemies", really... dramatic much?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Hide behind your mother's skirts, Billy Bibbit.


"Enemies", really... dramatic much?

Drama is an unnecessary 5-paragraph rant, very dementia-like.

 

[Pandora]

I've never seen this claim that ALL women are alpha widows. Some women, yes, but not all. I think you're exaggerating how much it matters to most women.

Well we are speaking generalities. The vast majority of women have that one guy. Hey I could be wrong but thats just been my experience. Chad Ochocinco coincidently came out a few months ago and said his grandmother told him the same thing.
Maybe you might be underestimating the damage rejection does to women?

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[Pandora]

Ok i may have used some bad wording. I been talking in spanish all day here in Mexico that I’m just mixing my sh!t. What I meant Pan is that it’s all relative to the chick and how deep of a mark you left on her. Yes there is alpha widows out there that will let that one guy come back for unfinished business but like you said some women move on fine. A guy who doesn't move on never has a girlfriend again. An alpha widow has plenty of relationships and uses the alpha in the past to control the men in the present. To you or me, this wouldn't be moving on. To a woman this is fine. She is perfectly happy to be in a comfortable relationship with some clearly defined thing to complain about for the rest of her life.
I am not saying the concept doesn't exist. I am saying that there is no comparing a man not moving on and a woman not moving on. When a man doesn't move on, he really doesn't move on.
The women move on fine, and though they may be haunted by some out of their league stud from their past, they are fine, really, some of them are even happy with the situation, and all of them are especially happy to have some sort of leverage from the past over their current man.

There is no comparison between a man's pain and a woman's pain. This seems to me to be self evident.

Oh okay. Yeh you are probably right about men vs women moving on. I think we agree that she will "move on" but she will resent the current man she is with. This is one of the reasons women stop having sex with their husbands and divorce rape him later. She always resented him for not being #1 in her heart since the wedding day.

 

[Pandora]

That's because women break up emotionally with a man months before they do so physically.

By the time they break up with him physically they are mentally done with him whereas the guy is blindsided many times.

This is true.

 

[itouchyou]

The best thing a man can do if a woman blindsides him with an unexpected breakup is to behave indifferently. Just say ok, I understand, and show absolutely zero anger/sadness.

That basically ****s her up beyond repair. Thing is, most men won't do that.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

The best thing a man can do if a woman blindsides him with an unexpected breakup is to behave indifferently. Just say ok, I understand, and show absolutely zero anger/sadness.

That basically ****s her up beyond repair. Thing is, most men won't do that.

Parables of black pill^
One of the most valuable qualities you can develop as a man is to learn how to remain unmoved by the vicious tests life dices at you. Getting a grip on your emotions and overcoming your fears will make you an unmovable rock when life throws a few storms at you. But we have to start somewhere, and what better place to start than when dealing with women. If you want to remain steadfast not only as you relate with women but in other areas of your life, you must learn to embrace rejection and enjoy conflict.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The best thing a man can do if a woman blindsides him with an unexpected breakup is to behave indifferently. Just say ok, I understand, and show absolutely zero anger/sadness.

I think part of the post-divorce hostility my ex-wife heaped on me was because I didn't respond emotionally and she got upset about that. So yes, I think it might mess with their heads if you put them out of mind so 'easily'.

 

[itouchyou]

Parables of black pill^
One of the most valuable qualities you can develop as a man is to learn how to remain unmoved by the vicious tests life dices at you. Getting a grip on your emotions and overcoming your fears will make you an unmovable rock when life throws a few storms at you. But we have to start somewhere, and what better place to start than when dealing with women. If you want to remain steadfast not only as you relate with women but in other areas of your life, you must learn to embrace rejection and enjoy conflict.

It's why I practice stoicism, because it brings me peace when I expect the unexpected; nothing truly surprises me anymore

Any day I could get fired
Any day someone I love could die
Any day there could be a natural disaster
Any day I could find out my spouse is cheating or leaving

It forces me to be completely unattached, but at the same time everything is more beautiful because of it. Mundane moments turn into future memories.

 

[pipeman84]

Since this is a safe space to get long in the tooth I'll throw in my two cents.

Men evolved to feel insanely strong emotional bonds to women so they'd keep producing to feed mom and the kids for life.

There's no evolutionary reason why a dude would be able to recover quickly from a lost love, since it likely rarely happened in the stone age.

And if it did (he lost his lady for whatever reason) there was no pressing need to recover quickly as he could still feed himself.

Women, on the other hand, had a huge vested interested to keep the calories coming from pretty much any provider lest she and her kids would starve.

Any woman that hesitated before moving on to the next dude would starve and she'd be removed from the gene pool.

Hence your two very valid and true points.

But why would the next dude be willing to support the woman and her kids from another man? This contradicts the theory that virginity has always been prized and promiscuity frowned upon because men wanted to make sure they provided for their own offspring.

Also, you make it sound as if being widowed equalled starvation, but what happened to her family and the family of the dead guy (father of her kids)? Both would've been there to provide calories.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

But why would the next dude be willing to support the woman and her kids from another man? This contradicts the theory that virginity has always been prized and promiscuity frowned upon because men wanted to make sure they provided for their own offspring.

It's not so cut and dried. Evolution works over thousands of generations.

All else equal, women with "quick dude replacement" genes would survive at a higher rate than women with "carry the torch" genes.

But why would the next dude be willing to support the woman and her kids from another man?

Same reason dudes go for single moms today. Best and only option.

promiscuity frowned upon

A widow is not the same as a promiscuous woman.

 

[Vanderdonck]

The 'Alpha Widow' theory. I don't know who comes up with this crap, but the insidious blame game is toxic shyte that you have to grow out of.

It's both a convenient explanation for a chick's lack of interest, and also a personal validation for man so his ego can be satisfied that he will always be the "Alpha" in her life. In both cases it's in the man's head. Just more solipsism.

 

[Vanderdonck]

View attachment 13514

I thought this was kind of accurate.
In the long-run, men tend to agonize over ended relationships for much longer and it's a lot easier for women to move on, generally.

On a purely biological war widow mentality basis the woman is the vulnerable individual that has to make herself instantly appealing in order to secure a protector and provider. She will have a very serious cry session and then internalize the rest of the issues which will later manifest in severe mental disorders aka craziness ripple effects later in life but at least she'll be able to get another man in the meanwhile because it’s a sausage fest in the west.

Men have the option to revel in their pain and their anger, given that being dark and moody is not necessarily repellent to chicks and in many cases is an attractive trait. Traditionally they could channel it towards violence but absent that, in modern times, they're often stuck wallowing in an emotional holding pattern for much longer and it’s a slow burn-off.

After a woman has been seasoned and riped with enough d!cks they tend to naturally think and act like the good ol’ player does. They under commit in the relationship and know when to have a foot out the door. They sort of instinctively know when things are on the rocks and tend to make things worse by withdrawing affection and respect like dimming lights, which tends to make things worse. They have moved on before the relationship ends.
Men tend to just double down and sometimes work harder.

So the net effect is that at the end of a relationship the man has usually gone all in, whereas she has been prepping for a couple months at least and the bullet grazes her.
This is why when a high value dude randomly dumps a chick out of the blue for no good reason, it usually fvcks her world up and more times than not she becomes your night stalker.

In essence, women react to market forces, though their nature helps them to move on. Most females are smart enough to know, the quickest way to get over a guy is to be with another one.

I can be wrong with some lines but that is what I am witnessing even more vividly around me as of lately.
Any of the older members with more stripes are welcomed to drop some wisdom. After all, we are here in community to keep sharpening the blade.

Women are much more practical about love and sex. I see men on SS and elsewhere complaining about how women supposedly have no heart. Once a guy understands that life isn't a Disney movie he can be a little more grounded. Doesn't mean you don't feel pain and heartbreak but it's not life or death. So you see the guys who believe in the storybook and/or the guys who want to force the storybook.

My last breakup I was so happy I was walking on air. But I can be a real cold hearted SOB.

 

[pipeman84]

There's no evolutionary reason why a dude would be able to recover quickly from a lost love, since it likely rarely happened in the stone age.

It just occurred to me, how about maternal death? If you really think about it, my guess is that there were just as many women dying during pregnancy or child birth as were men dying due to war, accidents, hunting.
My point is that one can't use evolutionary reasons to support the title of this thread.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

My point is that one can't use evolutionary reasons to support the title of this thread.

Evolutionary reasons are the only reasons we humans do what we do.

 

[Ricky]

No, I'm all for opening up, not for whining. I'm not up for the blame game, that is childish. Like this statement:

The 'Alpha Widow' theory. I don't know who comes up with this crap, but the insidious blame game is toxic shyte that you have to grow out of.

I agree with Amsterdamn. I find most of these hypotheses not helpful at all and who says that if you are at the top of your game you can't be better than some imaginary alpha she knew. I liked it when men were competitive and tried hard to meet women instead of whining like nowadays.

 

[saige]

That's because women break up emotionally with a man months before they do so physically.

This is so true.

Not to generalize, but if a relationship is going sour women are more likely to be mentally checked out weeks, even months in advance. So by the time the break up happens they move on faster, perhaps because they've already dealt with the aftermath of the breakup. They've mourned the end of the relationship while it was still happening. So while it appears women move on quicker, in reality they suffer just as much. On the other hand, guys tend to break up and then feel the sting of it after, when the girl has already moved on. To him, it appears as though the woman is cold or heartless, but they both just had a different timeline of grief.

 

[Westminster]

This is so true.

Not to generalize, but if a relationship is going sour women are more likely to be mentally checked out weeks, even months in advance. So by the time the break up happens they move on faster, perhaps because they've already dealt with the aftermath of the breakup. They've mourned the end of the relationship while it was still happening. So while it appears women move on quicker, in reality they suffer just as much. On the other hand, guys tend to break up and then feel the sting of it after, when the girl has already moved on. To him, it appears as though the woman is cold or heartless, but they both just had a different timeline of grief.

I partly agree inasmuch as women tend to checkout earlier and so they're usually the ones ending the relationship (often monkey branching at the same time). Therefore, they've already had time to deal with any trauma. But then they've already decided they want out anyway.

On the other hand, I still think women move on quicker even when it's the man instigating the breakup.