Social wealth

jhonny9546

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Lately, I have been immersed in music classes, taking up both piano and electric guitar, while also exploring art, painting, sculpture, and writing. While I enjoy these pursuits, they often feel quite solitary. Although they occasionally provide opportunities for interaction with others, most of the time I find myself working alone.

My goal, which I share with many of you here on the forum, is to improve my social skills. I am beginning to wonder if dedicating myself exclusively to these solitary pursuits is truly the best way to spend my time. Perhaps I could better direct my energies toward more social activities, such as dance, public speaking, comedy, drama classes, rock climbing, and board games. I want to ensure that my time is not spent in isolation but rather as an opportunity to interact with people.

I recently reconnected with a childhood friend who, once a very introverted person, has found his voice as a city councilman. Previously, he struggled to put two words together; now he has become a confident and charismatic individual.

I analyzed his transformation and found a simple explanation: his job requires constant interaction with others. He must address people's concerns, speak in public during meetings, and mediate conflicts. This has greatly expanded his vocabulary and improved his body language and diction. He has the opportunity to practice his social and communication skills every day.

Wealth is not only measured in financial terms; it also includes how work enriches us as individuals. Although there are challenges to face—such as dealing with difficult people and receiving criticism—confronting these situations promotes independence, assertiveness, and self-confidence. This leads us to consider which activities can enrich us as individuals and help us develop social skills.

I am a strong proponent of the rule of exposure: the more we are exposed to something, the better we become at it. This applies to both a city councilor and a musician. However, it is crucial to choose wisely how we "influence" ourselves each day.

What is the key question we should ask ourselves? What kind of person do we want to become? What activities should we incorporate into our daily lives? These choices will define who we are. We need to fill our minds with information aligned with our goals and filter out distractions—especially in modern times.

It is important to establish who we want to become and write a short text that we can modify and read every day to refine our identity. For example, here is what I have recently developed:

I want to become an independent person—both financially and emotionally—while being a family man. I want to be respected and know how to respect others; communicate clearly with correct diction and appropriate body language. I do not want to fear public speaking; on the contrary, I want to engage listeners with my story. I would like others to see me as a mature, responsible person who can be counted on at any time. But what is even more important is leaving a positive impression on those who interact with me: I would love for people to remember the pleasant moments spent together and look forward to seeing me again.

Based on these reflections, I aim to build my daily activities around these principles and filter the information that enters my mind in order to nourish my thoughts effectively. I am not ashamed to admit that I have wasted a lot of time due to negative feedback or my own insecurities; now I know that I can choose differently.

Reconnecting: What is the key question we should ask ourselves?
 
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BillyPilgrim

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"What is my true self?" is the key question. Stray to far from this any re-invention isn't going to work very well. The closer you stay the more effective the changes will be.

Authenticity should be a key pillar for self improvement. As you say, "refine". You don't want to "re-define" unless the person you want to change (you) has been negatively altered by outside forces to a significant degree.

In your case, are you an introvert? If so, you will burn yourself out quickly with too much socialization.
 

jhonny9546

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"What is my true self?" is the key question. Stray to far from this any re-invention isn't going to work very well. The closer you stay the more effective the changes will be.

Authenticity should be a key pillar for self improvement. As you say, "refine". You don't want to "re-define" unless the person you want to change (you) has been negatively altered by outside forces to a significant degree.

In your case, are you an introvert? If so, you will burn yourself out quickly with too much socialization.
So many points in your statement! Thanks for being here!


" unless the person you want to change (you) has been negatively altered by outside forces to a significant degree." I suspect this is true.

"Authenticity should be a key pillar for self improvement." And because I still don't know, I still havent touched my "core" I still can't say which is my authentic shape. So I still can't answer to this question clearly "What is my true self?"

"In your case, are you an introvert? If so, you will burn yourself out quickly with too much socialization."
I get this, sometimes, but I still don't know if I am an introvert. Are there actually good tests that can confirm?

I can say that I enjoy being with people, also, lonely activities.
 

FlirtLife

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Lately, I have been immersed in music classes, taking up both piano and electric guitar, while also exploring art, painting, sculpture, and writing. While I enjoy these pursuits, they often feel quite solitary. Although they occasionally provide opportunities for interaction with others, most of the time I find myself working alone.
Could you get inspiration by visiting museums? That provides, but doesn't require, being social.


I get this, sometimes, but I still don't know if I am an introvert. Are there actually good tests that can confirm?
When you're tired, how do you recharge? If you do activities by yourself to recharge, that suggests being an introvert.
If you feel energized by being in big groups and talking to everyone, that's more of an extrovert.

I don't trust online personality surveys - but for introversion/extroversion, they might help.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Could you get inspiration by visiting museums? That provides, but doesn't require, being social.
This is a good suggestion. If you play an instrument, hang around musicians and go to concerts / jazz clubs. If you love art, visit art galleries and museums. If you enjoy writing, find a writing / critique circle. If you love reading, go to events in public libraries.
Biggest chances to find someone who shares your hobbies.
 

jhonny9546

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When you're tired, how do you recharge? If you do activities by yourself to recharge, that suggests being an introvert.
Yes, Usually, If I do enter the flow with an introvert activity, I lose space/time concept for that period, and feel "less-stressed". So I think this. I also give the best results in those activity here. But this happen also with sex or when talking 1/1 with someone, men or women. I can focus 100% on that other person at times.

This doesn't happen when socializing, it's stressfull for me. But I must do it.
In this scenario, you're saying that socializing in my area of interest will be less stressfull, rather than doing that in activities I don't like to do it.
 

itouchyou

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OP, I used to have a job at an amusement park. All day long I was exposed to beautiful women, and even worked with a lot of women.

Back then my comfort level with people and my ability to converse was a lot better than it is now.

I have also thought that I would be better off getting a job in a field like sales where I am required to constantly be talking to people.
 
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