What exactly makes a woman a "cougar"?

[GoodMan32]

Throughout the history of our species (Recorded history, at least)young women being paired off with men older than themselves has been an all but ubiquitous practice. It wouldn't be surprising to learn that, as a species, we're now biologically hardwired to react with disgust and revulsion towards men who lust after women decades their senior

Up until 2 generations ago, a woman depended on a man to be a provider. That's probably why older man/younger woman was a lot more popular than the cougar thing for the vast majority of history.

Now that a broad is capable of making her own dough, the cougar trend has popped up.

 

[SW15]

An added reason (for my pregnancy phobia) in my specific case is the fact I have wealthy parents. Even though getting knocked up by me wouldn't directly entitle a woman to my parents' money (from a legal standpoint), she'd at least gain access by proxy to my family's money (obviously my parents would give financial assistance to a grandkid). I have valid reason for this fear. On a first date once, the type of family I come from came out organically. The broad then ended up wanting sex (despite telling me ahead of time there would be no sex on the 1st date). That's the story I've shared on the forum where I inserted myself for a split second, then chickened out.

Many neurotypicals would use this to their advantage in order to get sex from women. If they struggled to get sex without mentioning money, they would then play up the money angle to get sex. Usually this would be done to get sex from women 18-29.

Your synopsis would explain why my successes with older broads have been short-lived (the longest one was a month)

Older woman-younger man interactions tend to be on the shorter side (6-12 months maximum). The Ashton Kutcher - Demi Moore interaction (8 years from introduction to separation) is a far less common outcome.

Steven Cundari and Charissa Thompson have been together now 2+ years. Charissa is 6 years older than he is. That's not quite a cougar situation but it is a less common situation where a woman is substantially older.

Attractive Charissa Thompson Getting Divorced for 2nd Time at Age 40 & is Childless

Charissa Thompson is a media personality. She has worked for ESPN and currently works for Fox Sports. She previously co-hosted the syndicated entertainment show Extra. This is Charissa. It's amazing that she has had a hot mess of a relationship history and no kids. In a previous era, this is...

www.sosuave.net

These older woman - younger man situations are not stable because it isn't what each side typically wants over the long term. Men are attracted to youthfulness and beauty. Women are attracted to emotional maturity and resourcefulness in a longer period of term in addition to looks. A 40 year old woman isn't going to consider a 25 year old man resourceful enough for her over an extended period of time. She might enjoy a short term sexual diversion with a younger man (might make her feel good) but it's going not to give her the non-sexual elements she desires.

You're correct when you say men with ASD are more likely to develop a crippling pregnancy phobia. Here are some possible explanations:

• We're more prone to black and white thinking
• Raising children would tax us (energy-wise) to a degree most autists are incapable of coping with (normal daily living zaps enough energy out of us as it is)
• Despite the fact a lot of autists have high IQs, we tend to make low incomes (making us bad choices when it comes to being a provider for a kid)
• A lot of us probably don't want to pass on our genes (because ASD genes are viewed as defective). In my case, an added reason I don't want to pass on my genes is the bullying for my body hair as a kid (having partial Italian ancestry in a place where most were of Irish or British stock). It's a shame when someone's driven to self-hatred...but I've certainly been driven to self-hatred

The two posters I've seen on SoSuave with the biggest pregnancy phobias were both on the spectrum.

Autistic people with high IQs are often in STEM occupations and make good money. This subset of autistic people used to be called Asperger's Syndrome or Aspies. Aspies were known as high functioning autists. Aspies are very common in highly paid STEM occupations and these Aspies struggle to get laid through conventional dating. Aspie men can support a family with a good STEM occupation income.

 

[GoodMan32]

Many neurotypicals would use this to their advantage in order to get sex from women. If they struggled to get sex without mentioning money, they would then play up the money angle to get sex. Usually this would be done to get sex from women 18-29.



Older woman-younger man interactions tend to be on the shorter side (6-12 months maximum). The Ashton Kutcher - Demi Moore interaction (8 years from introduction to separation) is a far less common outcome.

Steven Cundari and Charissa Thompson have been together now 2+ years. Charissa is 6 years older than he is. That's not quite a cougar situation but it is a less common situation where a woman is substantially older.

Attractive Charissa Thompson Getting Divorced for 2nd Time at Age 40 & is Childless

Charissa Thompson is a media personality. She has worked for ESPN and currently works for Fox Sports. She previously co-hosted the syndicated entertainment show Extra. This is Charissa. It's amazing that she has had a hot mess of a relationship history and no kids. In a previous era, this is...

www.sosuave.net

These older woman - younger man situations are not stable because it isn't what each side typically wants over the long term. Men are attracted to youthfulness and beauty. Women are attracted to emotional maturity and resourcefulness in a longer period of term in addition to looks. A 40 year old woman isn't going to consider a 25 year old man resourceful enough for her over an extended period of time. She might enjoy a short term sexual diversion with a younger man (might make her feel good) but it's going not to give her the non-sexual elements she desires.

The two posters I've seen on SoSuave with the biggest pregnancy phobias were both on the spectrum.

Autistic people with high IQs are often in STEM occupations and make good money. This subset of autistic people used to be called Asperger's Syndrome or Aspies. Aspies were known as high functioning autists. Aspies are very common in highly paid STEM occupations and these Aspies struggle to get laid through conventional dating. Aspie men can support a family with a good STEM occupation income.

Hmm, I hadn't thought of that (using the wealthy parents angle to my advantage in order to get cooch). That's not such a bad idea. I know you said it would work best on 18-29 year old broads. Here's the thing: I'm not saying I'd definitely turn down sex with a broad that young. All I'm saying is (when push comes to shove) there's a high chance I'd chicken out.

The fact Ashton is a wealthy celebrity (combined with the fact Demi is too, therefore she doesn't need any man's money anyway) might explain why their relationship lasted longer than most cougar relationships.

Funny thing about the 6 year age gap you mentioned (with the woman being older), I don't even really view that as an age gap (probably because of the massive age gaps I've had). The woman I had my last date with was 6 years older. People who know me joked about how I finally picked a woman my age for a change.

I myself am a high-functioning/high IQ autist. Statistically, one might expect me to be in a STEM position. But I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, it's totally true there are a decent amount of high IQ/high-functioning autists in decent-paying STEM positions. Even so, there are a decent amount of high IQ/high-functioning autists like me (making a low income)

 

[SW15]

Funny thing about the 6 year age gap you mentioned (with the woman being older), I don't even really view that as an age gap (probably because of the massive age gaps I've had). The woman I had my last date with was 6 years older. People who know me joked about how I finally picked a woman my age for a change.

Most people would consider a dating relationship where a woman was 5-9 years older than the man to be unconventional. That's not generally accepted cougar territory (cougar is typically viewed as 10+ years older), but it is considered unusual. People will wonder what the man sees in the woman.

A woman who is 2-4 years older than a man is often considered unusual as well. There are plenty of couples where the woman is older but less than 2 years older and most people don't consider that an older woman couple or even that unusual. A lot of times, there are couple formations where the woman is slightly older (less than 2 years older) and the couple formed before the man was 25 and had more of a selection of younger women.

If you were to impregnate a woman, I get the impression even though you wouldn't be thrilled, you'd deal with it. I, on the other hand, would end my existence over a pregnancy. I hope that puts into perspective why I have to avoid pregnancy at all costs.

I would not be thrilled at this point in my life. If I were to impregnate a woman now, I'd be spending my 40s/50s dealing with a child under 18. I think it is best for a man to be done dealing with his own children under 18 by his 55th birthday at the latest. On my 55th birthday, I would still have at least one child under 18 if I were to impregnate someone now or in the near future.

When I was in my 20s, I also wasn't enthusiastic about having kids. I was career focused then and I also graduated into the Great Recession. That affected my career progression.

 

[GoodMan32]

Most people would consider a dating relationship where a woman was 5-9 years older than the man to be unconventional. That's not generally accepted cougar territory (cougar is typically viewed as 10+ years older), but it is considered unusual. People will wonder what the man sees in the woman.

A woman who is 2-4 years older than a man is often considered unusual as well. There are plenty of couples where the woman is older but less than 2 years older and most people don't consider that an older woman couple or even that unusual. A lot of times, there are couple formations where the woman is slightly older (less than 2 years older) and the couple formed before the man was 25 and had more of a selection of younger women.



I would not be thrilled at this point in my life. If I were to impregnate a woman now, I'd be spending my 40s/50s dealing with a child under 18. I think it is best for a man to be done dealing with his own children under 18 by his 55th birthday at the latest. On my 55th birthday, I would still have at least one child under 18 if I were to impregnate someone now or in the near future.

When I was in my 20s, I also wasn't enthusiastic about having kids. I was career focused then and I also graduated into the Great Recession. That affected my career progression.

But I take it you at least wouldn't off yourself if you impregnated a woman.

That's the difference between an autist who doesn't want kids vs a neurotypical who doesn't want kids.

 

[SW15]

neurotypical who doesn't want kids.

That would be a fair assessment of what I am now. I never tell women I don't want kids though. Telling pre-menopausal women that you don't want kids does tend to cause women to dismiss you. If the subject arises, I tell them that I am open to kids.

Many of the women I've dated over time did not prioritize having kids. The majority used birth control and I was using condoms as well.

Childless, unmarried White women with a bachelor's degree or higher who live in bigger cities often aren't prioritizing having children.

There is a reason this happened in 2023.

https://www.cnn.com/2024/08/20/health/us-birth-rate-fertility-final-data-2023/index.html

.

 

[SW15]

Funny thing about the 6 year age gap you mentioned (with the woman being older), I don't even really view that as an age gap (probably because of the massive age gaps I've had). The woman I had my last date with was 6 years older. People who know me joked about how I finally picked a woman my age for a change.

Most people would consider a dating relationship where a woman was 5-9 years older than the man to be unconventional. That's not generally accepted cougar territory (cougar is typically viewed as 10+ years older), but it is considered unusual. People will wonder what the man sees in the woman.

A woman who is 2-4 years older than a man is often considered unusual as well. There are plenty of couples where the woman is older but less than 2 years older and most people don't consider that an older woman couple or even that unusual. A lot of times, there are couple formations where the woman is slightly older (less than 2 years older) and the couple formed before the man was 25 and had more of a selection of younger women.