Is having an ONS or a brief fling with a 8-10/10 in terms of looks, that much different than an average girl?

[timble9]

If you sleep with someone who you perceive as being a lot less attractive than you, then post nut clarity kicks in and you can feel ashamed for doing so. But if you sleep with someone you consider as attractive but "average" like a 5-7 how much different do you feel compared to hooking up with someone you perceive as an 8-10? Sure, if you are ****ing someone more attractive, you're a lot more aroused and the "climax" can feel a lot more exhilarating. But if it's just a casual encounter the result is generally the same - you ***, you leave and then you don't always see them again.

I'm struggling with my relationship with casual sex at the moment because it doesn't seem enjoyable to me anymore and makes me feel quite empty, even if I have a good time during the moment. My automatic thought was that I need to set my standards higher and focus on "more attractive" women as I have seen suggested on this forum, but I can't see how this is any different from someone who you would consider as conventionally attractive but not "hot". And I've found that people who are "average" in the looks department are usually better in bed anyway. Is the difference between the two just an ego boost?

 

[BPH]

Think about what YOU want, and not what other people think you should want.

It sounds like casual sex may not be for you, maybe you want a relationship and need emotional chemistry and a connection to feel fulfilled by the physical act.

As somebody who engages in casual sex, the reason I enjoy it so much is because I like variety. Different women do different things in bed, kiss differently, look different, and behave differently - I like finding out what they like, as well as whether they do something new that I like.

A lot of people (friends and family) think that I should try to meet ONE good woman to have a real relationship - but most of those people are not married to/dating the type of woman that I want. So if they don't have what I want, why would I take their advice on how to get the thing I don't want?

As far as the attractiveness thing, there are 2 camps; having standards vs any hole's the goal. Some people want to run up the scoreboard. Others want to aim high. I like to do both, so I'm willing to sacrifice a little quantity for quality. If that's not you, and you're just as content with slamming a 5 as a 10 because they "have the same parts", then you might fall into the latter camp.

Or, like I said at the start, maybe you just need a relationship.

 

[inquisitor]

Sure, if you are ****ing someone more attractive, you're a lot more aroused and the "climax" can feel a lot more exhilarating.

Yeah, you're right. There's your answer.

But if it's just a casual encounter the result is generally the same - you ***, you leave and then you don't always see them again.

You're wrong. You already stated the difference a sentence ago.

I'm struggling with my relationship with casual sex at the moment because it doesn't seem enjoyable to me anymore and makes me feel quite empty, even if I have a good time during the moment.

It is ultimately your choice whether to continue or not. At least now you know it's not the answer to the "fullness" in life of which you seem to seek.