I attended a speed dating event today

[GoodMan32]

You could've done so just for the sake of practice, hoss. You're surrounded by opportunities for growth and development. Now all you have to do is take them

Getting turned down by the obese chick would have been humiliating.

Anyway, I like my business card strategy. The business card strategy could work in other settings too. I think I'm going to carry my business cards around with me on a regular basis.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Getting turned down by the obese chick would have been humiliating

Resume your sessions with your shrink, GM. One of the things credible psychotherapy teaches you is that our emotional reactions to external events are generated by our thoughts and beliefs about them

Such a thing COULD have been humiliating, if your thoughts about it went something like : "This is awful, horrible, and unbearable". It could of also been the source of mild amusement, had your thoughts about her rejecting you gone something like: "Well, s-it... That was awkward, even if I had no desire to gain access to her underoos. I also didn't have a massive coronary after she rejected me either, thus it's safe to conclude that I won't be destroyed if not just women, but people more generally reject me from time to time. Or perhaps even frequently"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you want to have success at these events then be a man that women actually want to spend time with and are curious about.

 

[SW15]

I think when I showed up for the date, a lot of them thought "I didn't realize he was short like that".

That can happen at your height. I remember one time that I had a date with a 5'8" woman from a swipe app as a 5'10" man. She seemed visibly disappointed when I started the date by walking up to her and hugging her. There was a negative energy for the first 10-15 of that date based on that alone.

I keep on seeing on YouTube videos how there is a serious deficiency of men at these events. Yes, the chicks are still stuck-up about it.

I've never seen a deficiency of men at these events.

I can confirm that women are stuck up at these events and tend to auto reject most men.

The typical woman leaves this event pissed off about not meeting the men they want and the typical man leaves these events pissed off about not getting any prospects from it.

During our mini date, she was asking an awful lot of questions about housing (How big is your condo, How much did your condo cost at the time of purchase, how much is your condo worth now, do you rent or own).

I honestly answered all her condo questions. My answer to the "rent or own" question was "It's a family investment property" (which is true). The woman probably translated that into "So your parents are the only reason you have a place to live. What a loser"

Her questions scream "Gold Digger"!

There are also plenty of men who get laid based on family money. Family money is more likely to get a man laid in college and up through his mid-20s. If a man is age 28+, it is likely that he will need to start having their own financial success independent of his parents. However, if his parents are wealthy enough, that might not even matter. I could envision a 33 year old male with parents with a net worth of $15 million + doing well in attraction/seduction with modest employment (something like a $55,000 annual salary). His parents might still be helping him out, enabling him to get a better apartment or owned property, and a better car than the typical $55,000 a year guy.

I'm going to bring business cards with my picture, name, number, and age. I'm going to hand out my business card during mini dates (and whatever the woman does with the card is up to her). This strategy will solve the problem of getting amogged when the event becomes an open floor at the very end. It also solves the problem (which I hadn't even thought of until you mentioned it) of the woman mixing me up with another guy.

As an added bonus, the uniqueness of the business card strategy will make me stand out (as most men wouldn't give out business cards; they'd ask for her digits, instagram, snapchat, etc)

I worked on a business card design after the event. I've already submitted the design to a printing company.

I like my business card strategy. The business card strategy could work in other settings too. I think I'm going to carry my business cards around with me on a regular basis.

Plenty of men have tried the business card strategy, It doesn't work. I've only heard of men trying them in unstructured bar settings and maybe daygame. Never heard of it being applied in a structured singles environment like a speed dating or singles event.

In speed dating, there are also cards filled out (typically online) after the event. Then, you see your matches. Has that happened yet from yesterday for you? You might have a speed dating match.

 

[GoodMan32]

If you want to have success at these events then be a man that women actually want to spend time with and are curious about.

There were a few broads I'm pretty sure I could have gotten digits from...if they weren't already getting chatted up by other men during the final 10 minute open session.

Here was one grave error: At the start of the open session, I whipped out my phone, got to the screen where you enter contact information, and set out on the prowl. Unfortunately, the time it took me to set my phone up was enough time for other men to beat me to the prize.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There were a few broads I'm pretty sure I could have gotten digits from...if they weren't already getting chatted up by other men during the final 10 minute open session.

Here was one grave error: At the start of the open session, I whipped out my phone, got to the screen where you enter contact information, and set out on the prowl. Unfortunately, the time it took me to set my phone up was enough time for other men to beat me to the prize.

So you think these women are the prize?

Now I see why you struggle.

You should see yourself as the prize.

 

[corrector]

Anyway, I thought of a strategy of what to do differently if I ever attend another speed dating event (This should make a lot of posters on here proud. A lot of posters have been telling me to come out of my shell, mingle with the ladies, and learn from any failures).

Here's my strategy: I'm going to bring business cards with my picture, name, number, and age. I'm going to hand out my business card during mini dates (and whatever the woman does with the card is up to her). This strategy will solve the problem of getting amogged when the event becomes an open floor at the very end. It also solves the problem (which I hadn't even thought of until you mentioned it) of the woman mixing me up with another guy.

As an added bonus, the uniqueness of the business card strategy will make me stand out (as most men wouldn't give out business cards; they'd ask for her digits, instagram, snapchat, etc)

I worked on a business card design after the event. I've already submitted the design to a printing company.

Normally when I give my business card back, I don't get any calls back from people. I have mainly used my business card to ID myself, it's a quick subtle social proof (ie the card has me with a suit on, it's a professional card, so you don't look like someone off the street esp. if you are not dressed up), but rarely use it now since having my full-time job. I would say that we are still both in a similar boat.

For example, Real-Estate is generally something people look up to because people have assumptions if you are in Real-Estate. That you have money, own your own place, own properties for investment and are renting it out, or are making allot of money. The details, if you are an unsuccessful agent that has parked a license, or otherwise just struggling, is starkly different then what people would assume from the get-go. (However, little cues, like how you are talking about it, or if you are not enthusiatic about it, probably could give that away).

The full-time job is in a decent field too. I'm a licensed insurance agent that deals with Critical Illness insurance that's affiliated with a very big bank. I could say that I am employed at the insurance department of said bank and talk a bit about the insurance. What I would leave out, is the word "call center" and that you are cold calling allot of people. Or the fact the pay is too small for this time and that leads to a very tight budget, assumping you can control your own expenses aggressively. Those aspects make it crappy...but it's in a great field (ie one of the saving graces with it).

But here is the thing, aren't you concerned, that if a woman likes you because you impressed her with your job, that when she finds out the truth of the details then she's gone. I mean you can say you work with NASA, but if she finds out you work as security or custodian there, then again, it would be a far different thing.

 

[GoodMan32]

That can happen at your height. I remember one time that I had a date with a 5'8" woman from a swipe app as a 5'10" man. She seemed visibly disappointed when I started the date by walking up to her and hugging her. There was a negative energy for the first 10-15 of that date based on that alone.



I've never seen a deficiency of men at these events.

I can confirm that women are stuck up at these events and tend to auto reject most men.

The typical woman leaves this event pissed off about not meeting the men they want and the typical man leaves these events pissed off about not getting any prospects from it.



Her questions scream "Gold Digger"!

There are also plenty of men who get laid based on family money. Family money is more likely to get a man laid in college and up through his mid-20s. If a man is age 28+, it is likely that he will need to start having their own financial success independent of his parents. However, if his parents are wealthy enough, that might not even matter. I could envision a 33 year old male with parents with a net worth of $15 million + doing well in attraction/seduction with modest employment (something like a $55,000 annual salary). His parents might still be helping him out, enabling him to get a better apartment or owned property, and a better car than the typical $55,000 a year guy.

Yeah, her questions scream gold digger indeed (Especially since she said she has a kid. She probably wants a sugar daddy for her and her kid). She was 39 but looked 23 by the way (she was one of 2 broads to volunteer their age)

For that matter, everyone at the event appeared to be below 40 (which means even if I made it to the bedroom with any of the broads there, I likely would have chickened out)

On the topic of your date with the 5'8" woman having negative energy: There was one woman I had a mini date with at the event where, in addition to feeling no attraction whatsoever for her, it became clear as soon as we first exchanged words that we had no chemistry whatsoever. I couldn't wait for that mini date to end.

While I don't know whether any of the men chatting up broads in the final 10 minutes got any sex, a lot of the men at least appeared to be successful at the chatting part (which is more than I can say). I wouldn't be shocked if there were at least one post-event romp (especially since I overheard one woman brag to her friend about getting a number)

 

[GoodMan32]

So you think these women are the prize?

Now I see why you struggle.

You should see yourself as the prize.

Ok, good point, I should view myself as the prize.

 

[corrector]

After thinking on it, I'm pretty sure I've identified where my chances got destroyed with the one woman whose digits I requested.

During our mini date, she was asking an awful lot of questions about housing (How big is your condo, How much did your condo cost at the time of purchase, how much is your condo worth now, do you rent or own).

I honestly answered all her condo questions. My answer to the "rent or own" question was "It's a family investment property" (which is true). The woman probably translated that into "So your parents are the only reason you have a place to live. What a loser"

Like you said, when the women asks for details then you are cooked. You can only spin it positively at the beginning of the interaction to put your best foot forward. However, if she gets asks about the details, then you know it's over going in.

But as you did get amogged in that event, it may not have made a difference anyway, at the end of the day. Just owning a condo does not mean you are rich or have achieved the great type of success that would captivate a woman.

Chances are your tone of voice, expressions on your face, and how you said what you said, she would likely have put two and two together. Again, feeling excited about something like you can brag about it as an accomplishment and saying things to save face come across differently

 

[GoodMan32]

Normally when I give my business card back, I don't get any calls back from people. I have mainly used my business card to ID myself, it's a quick subtle social proof (ie the card has me with a suit on, it's a professional card, so you don't look like someone off the street esp. if you are not dressed up), but rarely use it now since having my full-time job. I would say that we are still both in a similar boat.

For example, Real-Estate is generally something people look up to because people have assumptions if you are in Real-Estate. That you have money, own your own place, own properties for investment and are renting it out, or are making allot of money. The details, if you are an unsuccessful agent that has parked a license, or otherwise just struggling, is starkly different then what people would assume from the get-go. (However, little cues, like how you are talking about it, or if you are not enthusiatic about it, probably could give that away).

The full-time job is in a decent field too. I'm a licensed insurance agent that deals with Critical Illness insurance that's affiliated with a very big bank. I could say that I am employed at the insurance department of said bank and talk a bit about the insurance. What I would leave out, is the word "call center" and that you are cold calling allot of people. Or the fact the pay is too small for this time and that leads to a very tight budget, assumping you can control your own expenses aggressively. Those aspects make it crappy...but it's in a great field (ie one of the saving graces with it).

But here is the thing, aren't you concerned, that if a woman likes you because you impressed her with your job, that when she finds out the truth of the details then she's gone. I mean you can say you work with NASA, but if she finds out you work as security or custodian there, then again, it would be a far different thing.

I suppose my wording of "business card" was misleading. What I'm talking about (and having a printing company work on as we speak) isn't a professional business card. It's more of a dating/hookup business card.

The card has no work information. It has my name, number, picture, and age.

Then there was some extra space on the card that I needed filler material for. So I also included an impressive nature picture and an impressive wildlife picture I took.

If a woman doesn't contact me after getting my card, oh well, at least I can say I gave it an attempt. Plus, in the context of speed dating events at least, the main purpose of the card would be: To prevent a repeat of what went down at yesterday's event (where I don't have an opening with certain broads during the final 10 minute open session, as other men are already chatting the broads up). I'd give the card out during our mini date (if I'm into the woman)

As for the possibility a woman would lose interest upon finding out what I do at the company I work for, I guess that's a "cross that bridge when the time comes" scenario. With any luck, I will have impressed the woman enough by then that it wouldn't matter.

 

[corrector]

So you think these women are the prize?

Now I see why you struggle.

You should see yourself as the prize.

How does that work if you are getting AMOGGED?

 

[corrector]

Another idea is to use pheromones. Try ones that convey high-status, of being social proofed, upbeat vibe and being a respectable man that people look up to. If you are in close mini-date contact with women, then they'll pick up on the scent.

There pheromones also have self-effects. They also trick you into thinking you are some important guy, like a CEO playboy or something. Your posture will improve, you'll feel more upbeat about the event, and you won't be yourself (ie the chick-repellant self), but someone who comes across more smoothly and in sych with the women there.

I would use this as the last resort if the cards don't work.

 

[SW15]

It's more of a dating/hookup business card.

Plenty of men have tried a 'dating type business card' like that. It fails. Women aren't going to take the initiative on that and contact you. You need to ask them for their contact information in some way.

I ask for phone numbers only after plans for an actual date have been made.

There are guys that collect Instagrams and Snapchats now. Back in the 2000s, there was a brief moment when men would collect email addresses.

The card has no work information. It has my name, number, picture, and age.

Having a specific age will make a card go outdated fast. If you have a 3-4 year age range, it gives those cards a longer shelf life. That would be a good idea if handing out 'personal dating info cards' actually worked but it doesn't.

 

[GoodMan32]

Like you said, when the women asks for details then you are cooked. You can only spin it positively at the beginning of the interaction to put your best foot forward. However, if she gets asks about the details, then you know it's over going in.

But as you did get amogged in that event, it may not have made a difference anyway, at the end of the day. Just owning a condo does not mean you are rich or have achieved the great type of success that would captivate a woman.

Chances are your tone of voice, expressions on your face, and how you said what you said, she would likely have put two and two together. Again, feeling excited about something like you can brag about it as an accomplishment and saying things to save face come across differently

Speaking of tone, voice, and expressions, I've shared a short YouTube vid of myself with one poster on here. He said there were no surefire clues of me being an autist. But he also said nothing about me would be memorable to a woman.

I will DM you the vid at some point (to see what you think)

 

[GoodMan32]

Another idea is to use pheromones. Try ones that convey high-status, of being social proofed, upbeat vibe and being a respectable man that people look up to. If you are in close mini-date contact with women, then they'll pick up on the scent.

There pheromones also have self-effects. They also trick you into thinking you are some important guy, like a CEO playboy or something. Your posture will improve, you'll feel more upbeat about the event, and you won't be yourself (ie the chick-repellant self), but someone who comes across more smoothly and in sych with the women there.

I would use this as the last resort if the cards don't work.

Even with the cards, the scent thing couldn't hurt.

Funny story about the topic of getting mistaken for a CEO. One woman at the event is in a type of work where she needs to pick a company in my field for a client relationship (her company would be in the client role)

I told her "Of course the CEO will talk up his own company, but our CEO says we're the best in the industry."

She thought I was saying I'm the CEO. I corrected her (the CEO thing would have been too big a lie to run with). Still, we had a decent amount of chemistry/stuff in common. I probably could have gotten her digits during the open session if she wasn't already occupied by another man.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I should say that my ONLY consistent source - very hit or miss - of getting dates in the USA was church singles dances, at least until that source completely dried up.

That often happens, when one stops putting himself out there/relies on a single source, like a hunter who stalks for boar in downtown Manhattan, then laments his absence of success

 

[GoodMan32]

Plenty of men have tried a 'dating type business card' like that. It fails. Women aren't going to take the initiative on that and contact you. You need to ask them for their contact information in some way.

I ask for phone numbers only after plans for an actual date have been made.

There are guys that collect Instagrams and Snapchats now. Back in the 2000s, there was a brief moment when men would collect email addresses.



Having a specific age will make a card go outdated fast. If you have a 3-4 year age range, it gives those cards a longer shelf life. That would be a good idea if handing out 'personal dating info cards' actually worked but it doesn't.

I get what you're saying about asking for her contact information. But with how quick the mini dates are, I don't want to waste time on asking for her number, convincing her to give her number, getting my phone's contact screen loaded, etc.

That would eat into at least a minute of our 5 minute mini date. Handing her a card is a lot more time-efficient (even if the success rate of the card strategy is another story)

One thing is certain: I learned yesterday that I need to make a move on broads before the event enters the open floor phase (as any chance I have with anyone probably flies out the window once we reach the open floor phase)

While I don't doubt a lot of men fail with the card strategy, it's not a whole lot different than writing your number on a piece of paper.

You're aware of how exactly I met the last woman I had free sex with. Writing my number on a piece of paper was how I ended up getting to chat with her on a more personal level.

Oh yeah, and I anticipated the problem you pointed out (the age becoming outdated). What I really did was put my year of birth on the card (which is pretty much the same thing as putting my age; that's why I said I put my age on card)

 

[GoodMan32]

Another benefit of the business card strategy: It prevents the humiliation of a realtime rejection.

 

[SW15]

But with how quick the mini dates are, I don't want to waste time on asking for her number, convincing her to give her number, getting my phone's contact screen loaded, etc.

In speed dating sessions in the past, attendees were generally 'forbidden' from exchanging contact info at the event. They are supposed to either turn in paper cards to a host or make electronic submissions later on. Is that not how the format of last night was? If so, that's a new format to me.

I anticipated the problem you pointed out (the age becoming outdated). What I really did was put my year of birth on the card (which is pretty much the same thing as putting my age; that's why I said I put my age on card)

That is smart of you. That keeps the card from becoming outdated.

Another benefit of the business card strategy: It prevents the humiliation of a realtime rejection.

Real time rejections stink. Every seducer who goes out and does approaches get 'no's' when asking for a date or even asking for a phone number/Insta/Snap.

Roosh used to say that he took more rejections than nearly any man that existed and Roosh was a knowledge PUA with a height 6'0"+.

The guy I know in real life with the highest notch count took a lot of rejection as well. His height is 6'0"+ and he had former collegiate athlete status. 100+ notch count but a real life rejection count that is higher. That also doesn't take into consideration any 'soft rejections' he received. 'Soft rejections' (a rejection without an ask for a date) are always higher for most men.

I need to make a move on broads before the event enters the open floor phase (as any chance I have with anyone probably flies out the window once we reach the open floor phase)

Open floor phase sounds roughly like what a typical bar night would be. An open floor phase of a speed dating event would roughly be a singles event mixer. A singles event mixer is not the same as a typical bar night. The audience is more targeted (single, seeking new options) than a regular bar night (a combination of single people and other status people). In theory, a regular bar night would be mainly single people seeking new options but in practice it isn't like that. In practice, it's more complex.

If you can't handle open interaction at a singles event, then you're in much bigger trouble in a regular, unstructured bar night at any bar in your city.

I think you have to address fixing your fundamentals rather than worrying about the details. Guys with good fundamentals can start to fix smaller details. You're not there yet.