I didn't think women could hurt me anymore

[CornbreadFed]

Once again bro you did nothing wrong, except for being human, I said it a few years ago but if you wanna be successful in modern dating, especially with OLD you literally have to be a sociopath, it's that bad

Lol he did. He failed to read the writing on the wall that this woman was hookup street material only and he tried and played captain save a 304 with a street rat.

 

[Solomon]

Lol he did. He failed to read the writing on the wall that this woman was hookup street material only and he tried and played captain save a 304 with a street rat.

His ego got in the way it happens to everyone at one point or another in the game, people wanna lie and say they never caught feelings for a thot but it be thots sometimes that be the most feminine ones that can get you caught up in your feelings if you ain't ready.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

While I agree with this, in order for a woman to respect a man, the man needs to be worthy of respect.

Of course, I'm not saying men should be entitled to respect by default. Respect is earned. However, regardless of whether or not you deserve the respect, walking away is still the only option, so your point is moot.

You getting all upset for a woman whom you fvcked for a month, its not worthy of respect, she didn't insult you, she didn't tell you anything, she just put some distance between you too and your world came down crumbling. You're so hurt by that, that you started to put her down saying she's crazy and a ho3.
What's hurting you the most is that she might be a ho3, but obviously not for you. If you had experience you should've known, that women are like that, and if one doesn't give you time, you move on and date others.

She didn't "put some distance" between us, she ghosted. That is a nasty, immature, and cruel behavior. I have never, and would never, do that to a women I've had sex with 3+ times and otherwise been on very good terms with.

What's hurting you the most is that she might be a ho3, but obviously not for you. If you had experience you should've known, that women are like that, and if one doesn't give you time, you move on and date others.

Incorrect. She is a hoe (she told me all sorts of stories that indicate it), and I literally nutted inside her for our first date. But that's fine, I like hoes, I just don't see them as viable options for long-term exclusivity...and that fact doesn't mean I would just discard their feelings and "use" them nor does it mean I can't still enjoy their company. The reason I am upset is the fact we had a lot of things in common (which is quite rare for me, and probably for her - for instance she said she hasn't met many men who don't want kids, and most women I meet who share this sentiment express how rare it is, too), and we genuinely connected on a deep level, only for her to ghost me out of the blue for no reason. That hurts man.

This right here was a huge red flag that you ignored. She showed you her true colors at the beginning and you applied the hope strategy to ignore this.

Was it? Like I said, I don't even remember why we stopped talking and I didn't save her # or the conversation.

Given your clear boundaries—like not wanting family, marriage, or cohabitation—are you sure this arrangement aligns with what you truly want in the long run, especially since you’re struggling with it?

What arrangement, with her? Yes, I want the respect and communication of any healthy relationship, just without exclusivity and that's what I want from any type of relationship with any type of woman. If the women pushes for exclusivity, I'll tell her everything I said: no sleepovers (except on rare occcasions) no moving in, no marriage, no kids, and we must have mutual respect or I'm out the door.

Lol he did. He failed to read the writing on the wall that this woman was hookup street material only and he tried and played captain save a 304 with a street rat.

What makes you think I was playing captain save a hoe? I have repeated myself multiple times that I had no intention of making this a serious relationship. I will still treat a complete hoe with honesty and kindness (not niceness, if you don't know the distinction I can go into that) as long as it's reciprocated and she is respectful, compliant, and mature, which she had been until this incident, and as I said i'm not going back to her now, it's over.

Let me guess: you told her you were looking for a relationship with those parameters, and she said she was interested in something similar (the fantasy I mentioned in another post to fill your inner void). Then, when she starts acting within that arrangement, you develop oneitis.

No, I did not tell her I was looking for a relationship, or even hint at it. She didn't ask, and she didn't tell me her plans either. We only agreed that we don't want marriage/kids/cohabitation as a general thing and we weren't even talking about the two of us but our general preferences. Next time I was going to see her I actually intended to tell her what I was looking for and the terms ("casual lovers" who have standards of respect to follow).

Given your clear boundaries—like not wanting family, marriage, or cohabitation—are you sure this arrangement aligns with what you truly want in the long run, especially since you’re struggling with it?

What arrangement, with her? Yes, I want the respect and communication of a healthy relationship, just without exclusivity. That's what I want with any girl. If the girl pushes for exclusivity, I'll tell them everything I said: no sleepovers (except on rare occcasions) no moving in, no marriage, no kids, and she must not talk to men on snapchat, post bikini pics on IG, go out to strip clubs with her hoe friends, etc or I'm out the door.

Welcome to hookup culture where you can hook up with a girl and have great sex but no commitment, no pathway to a relationship, and where ghosting and flaking are most likely even if you did nothing wrong.

IMO Op did nothing wrong, I know the forum likes to pile on but unfortunately, it's the time we live in. I remember 20 years ago you made love to a woman 2-3 times she was yours, it was like women were mini-infatuated with you. This changed overnight once smartphones and social media came in

Once again bro you did nothing wrong, except for being human, I said it a few years ago but if you wanna be successful in modern dating, especially with OLD you literally have to be a sociopath, it's that bad

IMO is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship or commitment but good luck finding that in OLD

Even if you meet a quality girl with OLD nothing is set in stone until she deletes the app and shows an effort to be with you, most women in OLD have some issue whether they are relationship avoidant, emotionally unavailable or just straight-up hot messes doesn't matter how pretty they are, it's reason why they are on the app

Even if I did do "something wrong" it was 100% not something to warrant ghosting, so ultimately this is moot, but thanks either way.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

You have been here for awhile and already know everything we are going to say. But remember the adage: "always believe someone the first time they show you who they are." She ghosted you for three months initially. This second ghosting, despite good sex, shouldn't have come as any type of surprise to you, consciously or subconsciously. I would say that is the only thing that is surprising about your original post.

Past that point, we all have women who, despite us being red pilled, still have that "it" factor that makes us care about them more than we should. Even when they show us we shouldn't. So no one here should be judging you. And if anyone here is acting like they are 100% insulated from ever feeling that way again, they are only fooling themselves.

Also, my personal opinion, is the long delayed wait times on responding to texts is downright silly. I understand why you waited 24 hours when she didn't respond for 36, but I wouldn't stoop to that at all. It is game-playing. As a man, I simply respond when I want to and how I want to. Don't fall slave to feeling like you need to game-play just because she is. Although I am sure there are plenty DJs here who will disagree with me on that.

 

[SW15]

The truth is for 90% of men OLD is a waste of time unless he's looking for a MID lay or a girlfriend far below his SMV. OLD is not conducive to finding quality women it's like @SW15 says it's bottom of the barrel and that is for good reason.

I think you understand the purpose of the swipe apps well. It's a battle for a man to find a girlfriend at his own SMV level. Even a mid lay isn't that easy for mot men.

His ego got in the way it happens to everyone at one point or another in the game, people wanna lie and say they never caught feelings for a thot but it be thots sometimes that be the most feminine ones that can get you caught up in your feelings if you ain't ready.

Past that point, we all have women who, despite us being red pilled, still have that "it" factor that makes us care about them more than we should. Even when they show us we shouldn't. So no one here should be judging you. And if anyone here is acting like they are 100% insulated from ever feeling that way again, they are only fooling themselves.

I think these 2 posts have the same idea. Plenty of men have caught feelings for less than ideal women.

 

[Solomon]

Even if I did do "something wrong" it was 100% not something to warrant ghosting, so ultimately this is moot, but thanks either way.

Don't disagree with you there, but in a perfect world a woman wouldn't ghost you after having sex or flake but it happens all the time hence this site still exist and will continue too until the owner decides to pack it up

 

[SW15]

Don't disagree with you there, but in a perfect world a woman wouldn't ghost you after having sex or flake but it happens all the time hence this site still exist and will continue too until the owner decides to pack it up

It looks like that was @FlexpertHamilton 's original quote and not mine.

Anyway, men get ghosted after sex. None of us want to get ghosted after sex but it can happen.

 

[New_Journey]

That is a nasty, immature, and cruel behavior. I have never, and would never, do that to a women I've had sex with 3+ times and otherwise been on very good terms with.

That's just womens nature man, even if they're in love, they have a switch that just forgets everything good and then you become the bad guy, women are made to suffer, they are prisoners of their emotions, they don't think straight, they make bad decisions based on their emotions, they don't think long term, society and social media reinforce all of that.

Most men are the opposite, that's why a woman without a strong man is lost, without direction in life.

It is what it is man, same as man wanna sex with beautiful women, women are like that and can't be changed.

@The Duke is one of the guys who has done it all, has experience and his woman became rebel, imagine what would happen with less experienced guys.

@The Duke how do you accept women for what they are, how did you accept their nature?

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

That's just womens nature man, even if they're in love, they have a switch that just forgets everything good and then you become the bad guy, women are made to suffer, they are prisoners of their emotions, they don't think straight, they make bad decisions based on their emotions, they don't think long term, society and social media reinforce all of that.

Yup, I'm aware of that. Once a married women stops loving her husband, (whether it's for a valid reason or just hypergamy), she completely disregards him as a non-entity and thus feels perfectly entitled to treat him like dirt and completely erases all the previous good memories and their associated positive emotions. Their entire reality is created on a moment to moment basis based off current feelings, in a sense it's not a static thing like memories would be - an analogy is that women store their memories as RAM instead of disk data and they interpret those memories completely through their current emotional state rather than anything resembling objectivity.

OP,

You have been here for awhile and already know everything we are going to say. But remember the adage: "always believe someone the first time they show you who they are." She ghosted you for three months initially. This second ghosting, despite good sex, shouldn't have come as any type of surprise to you, consciously or subconsciously. I would say that is the only thing that is surprising about your original post.

Past that point, we all have women who, despite us being red pilled, still have that "it" factor that makes us care about them more than we should. Even when they show us we shouldn't. So no one here should be judging you. And if anyone here is acting like they are 100% insulated from ever feeling that way again, they are only fooling themselves.

Also, my personal opinion, is the long delayed wait times on responding to texts is downright silly. I understand why you waited 24 hours when she didn't respond for 36, but I wouldn't stoop to that at all. It is game-playing. As a man, I simply respond when I want to and how I want to. Don't fall slave to feeling like you need to game-play just because she is. Although I am sure there are plenty DJs here who will disagree with me on that.

Yeah this keeps being brought up and I don't know if that actually happened. As I said previously, if I didn't even save her # or the conversation (which I normally do if I want to remember it even if it was bad) and I think more than likely we just barely chatted and it was uneventful. In fact, I now recall saying I wasn't really trying to date much lately. I think the convo had just fizzled out - which is not ghosting.

On your second point, I do agree text games are silly and I generally respond when I want. In this case I specifically waited not only out of principal but because I did not want to reply.

 

[The Duke]

That's just womens nature man, even if they're in love, they have a switch that just forgets everything good and then you become the bad guy, women are made to suffer, they are prisoners of their emotions, they don't think straight, they make bad decisions based on their emotions, they don't think long term, society and social media reinforce all of that.

Most men are the opposite, that's why a woman without a strong man is lost, without direction in life.

It is what it is man, same as man wanna sex with beautiful women, women are like that and can't be changed.

@The Duke is one of the guys who has done it all, has experience and his woman became rebel, imagine what would happen with less experienced guys.

@The Duke how do you accept women for what they are, how did you accept their nature?

All those points you mentioned are solid. A man needs to internalize all of that so he doesn't become so outcome dependent.

I stopped expecting something they would never be. I stopped taking them so serious, stopped anticipating what could be and kept things in the moment. They aren't to be fully understood at all times. They are a little child like. I realized you have to take the good with the bad. What makes them a pain to deal with is also what makes them great. Realize some may be in your life for a short time or a long time. Let the relationships flow as they will. Defining the relationship, being emotionally/sexually available is her job. Seducing her, leading her, and building attraction is your job. You do your part right and she isnt going anywhere. When it's not enjoyable or they cause you too much grief, it's time to find another one. Nothing lasts forever.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I was reading before I went to bed and this came up lol

 

[BaronOfHair]

I was reading before I went to bed and this came up lol

View attachment 13275

Yeah... It's ill-advised to discuss with your lady the raging hard-on you experience, whilst admiring photos of Unit 731's vivisections, UNTIL you've confirmed that she shares your passion for world history

On a more serious note: Where did you read that quote, Werk?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Yeah... It's ill-advised to discuss with your lady the raging hard-on you experience, whilst admiring photos of Unit 731's vivisections, UNTIL you've confirmed that she shares your passion for world history

On a more serious note: Where did you read that quote, Werk?

It’s called Laws of Human Nature.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Despite this, it still hurts a lot which makes it even more baffling. I know I'm not supposed to care, but that's just it, I do care. I'm not going to be like other posters and put on a machismo act.

IME when this happens it is simply my ego trying to warn me. We all have a base fear of tribal expulsion. Being ghosted or rejected triggers that, I think. Rationally and logically we do not need whatever woman to keep on living happily. But the ego does its job and we have to know when to realize it and not worry about it.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

IME when this happens it is simply my ego trying to warn me. We all have a base fear of tribal expulsion. Being ghosted or rejected triggers that, I think. Rationally and logically we do not need whatever woman to keep on living happily. But the ego does its job and we have to know when to realize it and not worry about it.

Yup. The biggest ego trip going is to pretend you don't have an ego (and we don't actually have one in a real sense, but it does exist conceptually as a powerful social/evolutionary tool that we cannot shake off no matter how much we try). Recognizing your ego and getting out of your own way is the key here.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Yup. The biggest ego trip going is to pretend you don't have an ego (and we don't actually have one in a real sense, but it does exist conceptually as a powerful social/evolutionary tool that we cannot shake off no matter how much we try). Recognizing your ego and getting out of your own way is the key here.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Welcome to hookup culture where you can hook up with a girl and have great sex but no commitment, no pathway to a relationship, and where ghosting and flaking are most likely even if you did nothing wrong.

IMO Op did nothing wrong, I know the forum likes to pile on but unfortunately, it's the time we live in. I remember 20 years ago you made love to a woman 2-3 times she was yours, it was like women were mini-infatuated with you. This changed overnight once smartphones and social media came in

Once again bro you did nothing wrong, except for being human, I said it a few years ago but if you wanna be successful in modern dating, especially with OLD you literally have to be a sociopath, it's that bad

IMO is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship or commitment but good luck finding that in OLD

Even if you meet a quality girl with OLD nothing is set in stone until she deletes the app and shows an effort to be with you, most women in OLD have some issue whether they are relationship avoidant, emotionally unavailable or just straight-up hot messes doesn't matter how pretty they are, it's reason why they are on the app

Experiencing pain would be understandable, IF

-This were a woman OP had been married to for at least a minute

-He arrived home early one day, and discovered her on all fours, in the middle of the living room

-The dude behind the ol'ball'n'chain was his own father, whom she was allowing through the backdoor, despite never offering him(her husband)anything more than missionary

His reality, at least as he's described it, isn't remotely comparable to the hypothetical I just provided. He shagged this broad a couple of times, and started imagining a strong emotional connection with her

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Experiencing pain would be understandable, IF

-This were a woman OP had been married to for at least a minute

-He arrived home early one day, only discover her on all fours, in the middle of the living room

-The dude behind the ol'ball'n'chain was his own father, whom she was allowing through the backdoor, despite never offering him(her husband)anything more than missionary

His reality, at least as he's described it, isn't remotely comparable to such the hypothetical I just provided. He shagged this broad a couple of times, and started imagining a strong emotional connection with her

That's like saying someone in America doesn't have the right to be upset for losing their job because there are people starving in Africa or someone in prison doesn't have the right to feel hopeless because there are people in labor camps in North Korea. Fallacy of Relative Privation.

Besides, I didn't say this was life shattering pain or comparible to anything you mentioned which would be beyond devestating. That doesn't mean smaller scale experiences like this can't still suck to deal with. However, I will say this actually hurt almost as much as the last 3 relationships I had over the last 2.5 years, one of which was several months long. In fact, when I broke up with my last GF I literally felt nothing after even though I really liked her. There have been numerous women i've banged once or several times and never saw them again and I felt fvck all from those experiences too. I don't post about them because I don't care. It's not like i've only fvcked a small handful of women and developed oneitis for the first time like I was 20 again. I've been around. Hence why I made this topic, to show that experience doesn't make you immune.

This doesn't have to make sense. Feelings are what they are.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This doesn't have to make sense. Feelings are what they are.

Emotions exist... It's our insane thoughts and beliefs which generate those feelings which are nonsensical. Recognizing this is essential, ESPECIALLY if you're going to claim to be a man, rather than a 12 year old girl in junior high

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Emotions exist... It's our insane thoughts and beliefs which generate those feelings which are nonsensical. Recognizing this is essential, ESPECIALLY if you're going to claim to be a man, rather than a 12 year old girl in junior high

I don't agree I think emotions come first and we try to rationalize them with thoughts because our ego wants to think it's in control. If you think otherwise, then explain how people wake up in middle of the night with intense worry or panic if they were asleep beforehand. Emotions actually arise in our body and our conscious mind think it's creating them. All we can really do is learn from them and realize they can betray and mislead us at times and not take them too seriously and learn how to trust our gut feelings.

See my signature for more info.