humiliating yourself at social events

[GoodMan32]

'humiliated yourself'?......

I bet they hardly remember. And if you did 'humiliate yourself'....it was only a fleeting moment.

You have to remember that people mostly care about themselves...and are less likely to be preoccupied with someone else.

Whether they'll remember or not, I don't want to put myself in scenarios where I have a track record of humiliating myself.

 

[GoodMan32]

Rejoice in the fact that you received even that, GM. I'm slightly confused though:

-This broad had never spoken to you prior to this evening, then walked up to you, and said "Let's boogie!!!"

Or

-She pulled you onto the dance floor without saying a word, remained silent as you all glided around thr ball room, then walked away afterwards, still speechless?

If the latter, it's entirely possible her hyper-religious parents discovered she'd been talking to guys earlier that year, and then removed her vocal cords as punishment. In which case, her dancing with you was likely just as much an act of self-pity, as it was sympathy

We had spoken through the years (I had gone to school with her all the way back to elementary school). Not a whole lot though. We weren't friends by any means (other than meaningless Facebook friendship where pretty much the whole school added each other)

The scenario was closer to the 2nd scenario you described (although I have no idea whether her family was religious)

I just looked her up. Found a LinkedIn. She still has her good looks (and is a Certified Medical Assistant)

 

[GoodMan32]

You are falling for the spotflight effect thinking that everyone is focused on you and some perceived embarassing event

seek first to have fun and amuse yourself and as my guru Amsterdam assassin says limit what you give an airborne copulation about it

I'm aware not everyone's focused on me. Still, I don't like humiliating myself.

 

[GoodMan32]

Have you been to therapy? Cause with that mindset you'll never gonna have a chick in your life

Yeah, I've been to therapy.

 

[eli77]

take it from some one who went to an over crowded inner city school hang out with people who share your interest plain and simple you are who you hang with.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Have you been to therapy? Cause with that mindset you'll never gonna have a chick in your life

Yes, he has. Please don't remind him of that failure. Last time he filled ten pages with whining. Don't feed the pinguin.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Yes, he has. Please don't remind him of that failure. Last time he filled ten pages with whining. Don't feed the pinguin.

The irony of him not wanting to humiliate himself, but consistently posts in here humiliating himself.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The irony of him not wanting to humiliate himself, but consistently posts in here humiliating himself.

Actually, I don't think that's ironic. He can be himself on this forum, hiding behind his anonymity, so he can test out how he will be perceived and not be personally humiliated.

He's anxious about being humiliated in public by people he might see again (and again). Some social anxiety is acceptable, but he shows a disproportionate fear of failure and the consequences, so his 'risk management' is totally unable to decide whether a risk is real or imaginary. Plus he has severe coping mechanisms to avoid risk at all, which paralyse him socially. And he's lazy and wants shortcuts to get rid of his social awkwardness, without understanding that he has to walk the path to get to the destination.

A lost cause, really. I agree that he needs therapy, but I think he needs the right therapist.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Actually, I don't think that's ironic. He can be himself on this forum, hiding behind his anonymity, so he can test out how he will be perceived and not be personally humiliated.

He's anxious about being humiliated in public by people he might see again (and again). Some social anxiety is acceptable, but he shows a disproportionate fear of failure and the consequences, so his 'risk management' is totally unable to decide whether a risk is real or imaginary. Plus he has severe coping mechanisms to avoid risk at all, which paralyse him socially. And he's lazy and wants shortcuts to get rid of his social awkwardness, without understanding that he has to walk the path to get to the destination.

A lost cause, really. I agree that he needs therapy, but I think he needs the right therapist.
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I think you hit the nail on the head. I’m impressed by your assessment

 

[New_Journey]

Actually, I don't think that's ironic. He can be himself on this forum, hiding behind his anonymity, so he can test out how he will be perceived and not be personally humiliated.

He's anxious about being humiliated in public by people he might see again (and again). Some social anxiety is acceptable, but he shows a disproportionate fear of failure and the consequences, so his 'risk management' is totally unable to decide whether a risk is real or imaginary. Plus he has severe coping mechanisms to avoid risk at all, which paralyse him socially. And he's lazy and wants shortcuts to get rid of his social awkwardness, without understanding that he has to walk the path to get to the destination.

A lost cause, really. I agree that he needs therapy, but I think he needs the right therapist.
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You sure know a lot. Are you the famous guy with a nice cat who fvcks a lot of women in Amsterdam?

 

[BaronOfHair]

And he's lazy and wants shortcuts to get rid of his social awkwardness, without understanding that he has to walk the path to get to the destination.

OP actually has a great deal of energy and resolve... He just devotes it desperately manufacturing rationalizations for NOT adopting more adaptive beliefs and behaviors

 

[BaronOfHair]

just looked her up. Found a LinkedIn. She still has her good looks (and is a Certified Medical Assistant)

Invite her out for coffee then, GM, and begin your seduction. Having someone with access to an RX pad in one's social orbit is always a benefit

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think you hit the nail on the head. I’m impressed by your assessment

Then follow my advice and don't feed the droll.

You sure know a lot. Are you the famous guy with a nice cat who fvcks a lot of women in Amsterdam?

Only famous in Amsterdam.


As for women, I live in abundance but I don't collect notches on my bedpost.

And the cat is only nice to me.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

OP actually has a great deal of energy and resolve... He just devotes it desperately manufacturing rationalizations for NOT adopting more adaptive beliefs and behaviors

That's because he fears stepping out of his comfort zone. Some of the laziest procrastinators appear very energetic, but all their energy is directed towards maintaining their comfortable status quo.

 

[GoodMan32]

Invite her out for coffee then, GM, and begin your seduction. Having someone with access to an RX pad in one's social orbit is always a benefit

What I'm about to say isn't an excuse, merely a fact.

I live too far (And no, I don't mean 2 hour drive; I mean a several hour plane ride)

 

[BaronOfHair]

What I'm about to say isn't an excuse, merely a fact.

I live too far (And no, I don't mean 2 hour drive; I mean a several hour plane ride)

You've still been presented with an opportunity to practice approaching, hombre.... PM her on Facebook with a message like: "Yo, honey. Next time your in town, contact me. We'll grab coffee"

Limiting beliefs are flatlining your prospects for success, faster than whatever Johnny Depp gave River Phoenix, that fateful night at The Viper Room

 

[corrector]

You've still been presented with an opportunity to practice approaching, hombre.... PM her on Facebook with a message like: "Yo, honey. Next time your in town, contact me. We'll grab coffee"

Limiting beliefs are flatlining your prospects for success, faster than whatever Johnny Depp gave River Phoenix, that fateful night at The Viper Room

Stop training GM to be a simp.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Stop training GM to be a simp.

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/cringe-lunch-or-personal-social-experiment.281356/

You hurling such an accusation is more risible than Amanda Bynes saying to Lindsey Lohan: "Girl, you've CRASHED through the wall!!!"

 

[MatureDJ]

In the past, I would use pheromone. If you spray the right pheromone then it should attract women your way. You need to see women as your subjects who you are doing experiments on to see how they react to various pheromones. When women are part of your experiment, they are in your frame, they are under you because you are the man with the scientific white lab coat and you are trying out various sprays on them to see how they react to that.

However, I stopped using them since 2014 for personal reasons.

Folks say Elon Musk could become the world's first trillionaire (USD) if his robotaxis actually work - but I think anyone that truly cracked the pheromone code would become a multi-trillionaire. This would single-handedly destroy hypergamy.

 

[MatureDJ]

Only getting one pity dance at the high school dance was humiliating. I never should have gone.

I don't even want to elaborate on the humiliation at the college football games and the holiday party (the story is worse)

At least you had folks that went to your high school that you could dance with!