interaction with my next door neighbor failed to go as planned

[GoodMan32]

I've mentioned before on here that I lust after my next door neighbor who's nearly 20 years older than me (she's in her early 50s)

A few months ago, we got a new female employee in our building (the new girl is in her mid 20s). Shortly after the new girl started, my next door neighbor was discussing the new girl with me. It came out that the new girl barely spoke to my next door neighbor (but was extremely talkative with me). My neighbor proposed the idea that maybe the new girl is into me.

When I ran into my next door neighbor and her dogs today, I made it a point to work the new girl into the discussion (but also made sure the new girl wasn't the first thing I discussed). I told my neighbor that I did an experiment the other day where I purposely bypassed the front desk (and the new girl called me over)

I then mentioned to my neighbor that I find the new girl attractive, I have a lot in common with the new girl, but she's just a lot younger than I prefer (I mentioned the "a lot younger than I prefer" part because that would open the door for my neighbor to ask a follow up question about my age preference, at which point I would have said 45+. Then I would have asked how likely my neighbor thinks it is for a 45+ year old to go for a man my age, at which point the answer could potentially serve as a clue to whether I have a chance with my neighbor)

Unfortunately, the discussion never went in the direction I was hoping. After I made the "a lot younger than I prefer" comment, my neighbor turned the discussion into a discussion about her dogs.

 

[SW15]

You're playing both situations in a manner where the odds are stacked against your success.

Most women are not looking for a man 20 years younger. The odds are stacked against you there and pursuing substantially older women would be a frustrating experience for most men. My recommendation would be to forget about substantially older women in general and focus on women near your own age (slightly younger is where your probability is highest).

Also, neighbors are a bad idea for a lot of reasons. I don't think I need to get into why it's a bad idea on this thread. You are pooping in your own backyard when you date a neighbor. That's not advisable.

Female neighbors in residential buildings can be useful for social circle introductions to their female friends who live elsewhere. This is best when the neighbors are similar ages or there's a suave older male pursuing a much younger woman (10+ years younger). That's not the highest probability play but it's the best way to play neighbors. In your case, you'd better hope that your female neighbor in her early 50s has a local daughter or niece in her 20s. That's the general best play for an early 30s man with an early 50s neighbor.

Unsurprisingly, your neighbor isn't interested in sex with you and likely isn't interested in sex with substantially younger men in general.

There's also someone who is age appropriate for you who works in your residential building. She has a job working with the public, which is her case includes both current residents and future residents. The thread I started below is applicable to that situation.

I've generally believed in not hitting on women at work. It's ideal to meet women who work with the public in settings outside of work. Women who have public facing jobs are best approached when they are not at work.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

www.sosuave.net

 

[GoodMan32]

You're playing both situations in a manner where the odds are stacked against your success.

Most women are not looking for a man 20 years younger. The odds are stacked against you there and pursuing substantially older women would be a frustrating experience for most men. My recommendation would be to forget about substantially older women in general and focus on women near your own age (slightly younger is where your probability is highest).

Also, neighbors are a bad idea for a lot of reasons. I don't think I need to get into why it's a bad idea on this thread. You are pooping in your own backyard when you date a neighbor. That's not advisable.

Female neighbors in residential buildings can be useful for social circle introductions to their female friends who live elsewhere. This is best when the neighbors are similar ages or there's a suave older male pursuing a much younger woman (10+ years younger). That's not the highest probability play but it's the best way to play neighbors. In your case, you'd better hope that your female neighbor in her early 50s has a local daughter or niece in her 20s. That's the general best play for an early 30s man with an early 50s neighbor.

Unsurprisingly, your neighbor isn't interested in sex with you and likely isn't interested in sex with substantially younger men in general.

There's also someone who is age appropriate for you who works in your residential building. She has a job working with the public, which is her case includes both current residents and future residents. The thread I started below is applicable to that situation.

I've generally believed in not hitting on women at work. It's ideal to meet women who work with the public in settings outside of work. Women who have public facing jobs are best approached when they are not at work.

Successfully Approaching Women at Work (General Public Workers)

The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...

www.sosuave.net

I'm aware a lot of broads won't go for a man 20-ish years younger. Keep in mind though, my age preference starts at 45 (which is only 12 years older than me).

I've said before on this forum how problematic it can be to sh1t where you eat (which is why I won't bang a neighbor or coworker unless they come out and offer). In all honesty (had the discussion gone in the direction where I could have asked my neighbor what she thinks the likelihood is of a 45+ year old woman going for a man my age), I was halfway hoping my neighbor would say something like "I would never go for a man below 35. But I know some women in the 45+ demographic who would." At least then I'd have the closure of knowing I have no chance with her (without the humiliation of having to do an official ask out). Plus, my neighbor then might fix me up with a cougar she knows (as you said, a neighbor can be useful at introducing you to another woman). If this means anything, she has a female friend who looks 60-ish that she sometimes has over. The 60-ish female friend winked at me the first time we met.

At the moment, we don't know either way whether my next door neighbor would bed me. There are some signs she wouldn't. But also some signs she might.

Even though my last instance of free sex was with a woman I met through her work, you're right when you say meeting a woman at her work is inadvisable. That, combined with my fear of pregnancy, is going to stop me from pursuing the new girl who works in my building.

I was born in the early 90s. Of my 9 free partners, 6 were born before 1980 (and 3 were born before 1970; 1 was even born before 1960). Even though it's generally true a woman doesn't want a significantly younger man, maybe there's something about me that makes an older woman more receptive to me. Also worth mentioning: The only 2 free sex partners I met through non-tech methods were born in the 70s.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Your scheme failing is a sign from The Deities, written in bright crimson letters, saying: "Get off this kick, and start pursuing women in your own age bracket and younger. And if you can get past this obsession with getting a gal pregnant, all the better"

Now, it's up to you to heed the sign, hoss

 

[The Duke]

I've mentioned before on here that I lust after my next door neighbor who's nearly 20 years older than me (she's in her early 50s)

A few months ago, we got a new female employee in our building (the new girl is in her mid 20s). Shortly after the new girl started, my next door neighbor was discussing the new girl with me. It came out that the new girl barely spoke to my next door neighbor (but was extremely talkative with me). My neighbor proposed the idea that maybe the new girl is into me.

When I ran into my next door neighbor and her dogs today, I made it a point to work the new girl into the discussion (but also made sure the new girl wasn't the first thing I discussed). I told my neighbor that I did an experiment the other day where I purposely bypassed the front desk (and the new girl called me over)

I then mentioned to my neighbor that I find the new girl attractive, I have a lot in common with the new girl, but she's just a lot younger than I prefer (I mentioned the "a lot younger than I prefer" part because that would open the door for my neighbor to ask a follow up question about my age preference, at which point I would have said 45+. Then I would have asked how likely my neighbor thinks it is for a 45+ year old to go for a man my age, at which point the answer could potentially serve as a clue to whether I have a chance with my neighbor)

Unfortunately, the discussion never went in the direction I was hoping. After I made the "a lot younger than I prefer" comment, my neighbor turned the discussion into a discussion about her dogs.

Do you know how to flirt with someone? Do you know how to ask a woman out directly?

Telling a woman you "did some experiment" makes you sound weird.

Stop telling your neighbor the young girl is attractive and you have a lot in common if you are interested in the neighbor.

Stop waiting for people to assume certain things and ask certain questions to prompt you.

A masculine leader steers the conversation where he wants it to go. You communicate like a woman...... indirect, misleading, and all over the place. Lacking confidence, expecting others to read your mind.

 

[GoodMan32]

Your scheme failing is a sign from The Deities, written in bright crimson letters, saying: "Get off this kick, and start pursuing women in your own age bracket and younger. And if you can get past this obsession with getting a gal pregnant, all the better"

Now, it's up to you to heed the sign, hoss

It's a simple fact young broads are at high risk of getting pregnant. No amount of rationalization will change that fact.

One time in college, I made a young woman I met on a dating/hookup website provide medical documentation proving she was on birth control before we had sex. She obliged.

The other young broads I've had free sex with were already pregnant (I posted ads on craigslist deliberately seeking out pregnant chicks)

I'm aware the vast majority of young broads would tell me to take a hike if I demanded medical documentation of birth control. Hell, one time when I was 22, I told a girl on a dating site (whose profile said 18) she'd have to provide proof she's 18 if we meet up. She told me to take a hike. Broads in general don't appreciate us demanding documentation to prove anything.

 

[GoodMan32]

Do you know how to flirt with someone? Do you know how to ask a woman out directly?

Telling a woman you "did some experiment" makes you sound weird.

Stop telling your neighbor the young girl is attractive and you have a lot in common if you are interested in the neighbor.

Stop waiting for people to assume certain things and ask certain questions to prompt you.

A masculine leader steers the conversation where he wants it to go. You communicate like a woman...... indirect, misleading, and all over the place. Lacking confidence, expecting others to read your mind.

Do I know how to flirt? Yeah (but not very well)

Do I know how to directly ask a woman out? Of course. I just don't want to ask my neighbor out (One, it would give me a panic attack. Two, I'd then be miserable every time I crossed paths with her if I were to get rejected. Plus, I'd develop a reputation in my building of being the young guy who got rejected by an old lady)

You say it sounds weird to tell my neighbor I did an experiment. Wouldn't it also sound weird if I (per your suggestion) steered the discussion in the direction I wanted...by asking my neighbor how likely she thinks a 45+ year old woman is to go for a man my age?

I think it would sound strange. That's why I was trying to ease my way into asking her that question (and hoping she'd take the discussion in a direction where that question would have sounded organic)

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm aware the vast majority of young broads would tell me to take a hike if I demanded medical documentation of birth control. Hell, one time when I was 22, I told a girl on a dating site (whose profile said 18) she'd have to provide proof she's 18 if we meet up. She told me to take a hike. Broads in general don't appreciate us demanding documentation to prove anything.

It's not what you ask for, but how you ask for it. And you just don't know how to ask for it without making them angry.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your neighbor would probably have more respect for you if you simply told her "I think you are sexy as hell and I want to fvck your brains out" than to try something where she already knows what you are trying to do.

Women are pretty smart in terms of this type of stuff...a thinly veiled attempt to "make her jealous" probably left her laughing rather than making her jealous, especially since you claim to not be very good at human interactions.

 

[BaronOfHair]

The other young broads I've had free sex with were already pregnant (I posted ads on craigslist deliberately seeking out pregnant chicks)

And were you a trifle more ambitious and fame hungry, you could've been Amber Waterman https://www.forbes.com/sites/thomasbrewster/2023/01/23/facebook-mom-group-murder/ 's male counterpart. Which would've been highly injurious to womankind, yet a relief to mankind, who largely find your relentless excuse making irritating

You wouldn't be clogging up social media with this crap from solitary confinement at state pen somewhere

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's a simple fact young broads are at high risk of getting pregnant. No amount of rationalization will change that fact.

One time in college, I made a young woman I met on a dating/hookup website provide medical documentation proving she was on birth control before we had sex. She obliged.

The other young broads I've had free sex with were already pregnant (I posted ads on craigslist deliberately seeking out pregnant chicks)

I'm aware the vast majority of young broads would tell me to take a hike if I demanded medical documentation of birth control. Hell, one time when I was 22, I told a girl on a dating site (whose profile said 18) she'd have to provide proof she's 18 if we meet up. She told me to take a hike. Broads in general don't appreciate us demanding documentation to prove anything.

My God man...have some respect for yourself

 

[GoodMan32]

It's not what you ask for, but how you ask for it. And you just don't know how to ask for it without making them angry.

The story from when I was 22 took place about a decade ago (so I don't recall my exact wording).

I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "I'm not accusing you of lying; I just need to be 100% sure you're 18. Otherwise I could go to jail."

Her reply was along the lines of "I really am 18. But I'm not going to prove it. Don't ask again"

 

[GoodMan32]

Your neighbor would probably have more respect for you if you simply told her "I think you are sexy as hell and I want to fvck your brains out" than to try something where she already knows what you are trying to do.

Women are pretty smart in terms of this type of stuff...a thinly veiled attempt to "make her jealous" probably left her laughing rather than making her jealous, especially since you claim to not be very good at human interactions.

My goal wasn't to make my neighbor jealous.

 

[GoodMan32]

So a new girl moved near you, whom you barely know, and you're saying you have a lot in common with her?

Please, elaborate in what " a lot in common" means to you.

The new girl doesn't live in my building; she just works in my building. I've gotten to know her a fair bit because she pulls me into discussions every time we cross paths.

By "a lot in common," I mean we like a lot of the same music, we don't like to do much in our off time, we both like Anime (she's way more into it than me though), etc.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The story from when I was 22 took place about a decade ago (so I don't recall my exact wording).

I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "I'm not accusing you of lying; I just need to be 100% sure you're 18. Otherwise I could go to jail."

Her reply was along the lines of "I really am 18. But I'm not going to prove it. Don't ask again"

Like I thought, you have no idea how to talk with women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

My goal wasn't to make my neighbor jealous.

Then I'm not sure why you would even bring that up.

Essentially she is playing chess while you aren't even playing checkers, you are playing tiddlywinks.

 

[GoodMan32]

Like I thought, you have no idea how to talk with women.

I've been carded for alcohol and tattoos. It doesn't mean the waitress/tattoo artist thinks I'm lying about my age. They just need to cover themselves legally.

Hell, I've even been carded for sex (back when I was 20). I wasn't insulted. I obliged. I understood the woman (who was 34 years my senior) wasn't calling me a liar; she just had to cover herself legally.

As for the girl on the dating site who claimed to be 18, what would a better approach have been?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

As for the girl on the dating site who claimed to be 18, what would a better approach have been?

I don't use dating apps, dud.

If I meet with a young woman who wants to do naughty things with me, I tell her she looks like jailbait and to show me her ID. And they give that to me without hesitation because I still look like the bouncer I used to be, so my authority is rarely questioned.

 

[GoodMan32]

Then I'm not sure why you would even bring that up.

Essentially she is playing chess while you aren't even playing checkers, you are playing tiddlywinks.

As I explained, I was trying to ease my way into a discussion about my age preference.

I had no desire to discuss the new girl. I only mentioned the new girl as a stepping stone to (try to) steer the discussion into what I really wanted to discuss.

At the very least, a 33 year old man thinking a 25 year old woman is way too young is highly unusual. When I said the new girl is a lot younger than I prefer, I really thought my neighbor would ask a follow up question about my age preference (especially since my neighbor has a track record of being nosy about, and asking intrusive questions about, my dating/sex life)

 

[GoodMan32]

1. You both like the same music
2. You both like Anime
3. You both are lazy

That's quite an impressive list of a lot things in common. You should buy a ring and ask her to marry you.

In all seriousness, if I was the type to go for a woman that young, we'd probably make a good couple. We could spend our off time sitting around doing nothing while listening to music. Throw some sex in too of course.

With Anime, our interest in Anime manifests itself differently. She likes to watch Anime. I just like to view the artwork online.