Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Would it look awkward if I were to read a newspaper or book at a bar or Pub?

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
2,491
Reaction score
2,118
I've seen this happen before at bars. Now, if it's like on a weekday during one of those casual hours, then sure. Go ahead. But doing it during any of the active peak hours is where it comes off as weird and unsociable. It doesn't give you any social points, either. If you're drinking at a bar, you're there to socialize, especially during said hours. Even if you are lounging, someone inevitably is going to come up to you.

Some guys do this to try to appear smart as a tactic to make girls try to come up to them. I'm here to tell you, it's not attractive nor is it like in the movies where this interaction is dramatized. Same for cafes. If you're legitimately there to chill, then that's fine. It is when you take it to a bar where it becomes cringy.
 

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
958
Reaction score
689
Age
40
So, have we been to a bar in the past couple of weeks? Did you talk to women? How did it go?
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,897
Reaction score
4,664
I'm pretty much a solitary guy and go on a lot of solo outings.

Would it look awkward if I were to read a newspaper or book in a bar or Pub? Say if I were to spend a solitary evening there by myself and I got no one to talk to. I think this act would be more suited for a coffee shop.......but say you wanna get a glass of beer or wine. What do you guys think?

I think I'd sit in a less crowded area and away from all the noise especially if there showing sports games lol
I don't think that it would be awkward but it seems kind of pointless. If you just want to have a beer and read a book, why not do it at home? Why pay more for alcohol at a bar? Other than for the social aspect, I don't see the point of going to a bar.
 

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
2,024
Reaction score
542
I don't think that it would be awkward but it seems kind of pointless. If you just want to have a beer and read a book, why not do it at home? Why pay more for alcohol at a bar? Other than for the social aspect, I don't see the point of going to a bar.
Pretty much agree with what you're saying.

Cafes are somewhat quiet (as far as public places go). So it's no surprise reading a book is common at a cafe (hell, Barnes and Noble has a cafe for that purpose). A bar, on the other hand, is loud enough I imagine it would be hard to concentrate on a book.

One potential happy medium: It's becoming more and more common for cafes to serve alcohol (the cafe I frequent serves alcohol). Getting an alcoholic drink at a cafe (while reading a book) is an idea.
 

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
2,190
Reaction score
167
I've sat in restaurant bars reading a French frequency dictionary, and never felt awkward, don't care what other people think, and never had a problem with concentration. I can understand, though, if a bar was more of a nightclub, that distractions would be more of an issue.

I get social interactions with the bartenders, but not the other people around me, unless they are a regular.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Travel memoir21

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 20, 2020
Messages
787
Reaction score
565
Age
38
Location
Rio Grande Valley, Texas
If you don't like the noise and they've got a Gazebo or Patio outside.........

that might be the Perfect spot for you to read your book and sip on your drink.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,839
Reaction score
1,244
Age
35
Would it look awkward if I were to read a newspaper or book in a bar or Pub?
Depends upon what you're reading. We talking Melville or Stephanie Meyers here? Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Mainteance or Deepak Chopra?
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,839
Reaction score
3,754
What if you just wanna chill for the night and relax and be in a social environment instead?

Some dudes here are in relationships or too tired to socialize because of work obligations and would rather relax and have a private evening by themselves.
I guess we are seeing a trend here, that if you are working in a full-time job, it zaps your energy to socialize because you are too drained. It comes like having a relationship in and of itself in an abstract way.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,839
Reaction score
3,754
Because I'd rather not come off as an anti social douchebag.
You are not being an anti social douchebag if you are being rejected by women and have given up and are reading a book instead. It is because they have rejected you. Bringing a book is your cope not to have to deal with rejection. Of course it sucks when women ignore you and don't take you on and you need a mental escape like reading a book to cope with that.

You see I go further then you do. You might read a book. I'll bring a Tablet, with noise-cancelling blue-tooth headphones and watch anything I want. That's far more anti-social than reading a book. Again, it's because the women reject us, not because we are anti-social.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,839
Reaction score
1,244
Age
35

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
2,024
Reaction score
542
I guess we are seeing a trend here, that if you are working in a full-time job, it zaps your energy to socialize because you are too drained. It comes like having a relationship in and of itself in an abstract way.
Yeah.

No wonder work used to be one of the most common places to meet a partner. You spend 40 hours a week at work; it's inevitable there will be many an instance where 2 employees end up with chemistry.

Since you have to go to work anyway, and since work drains the desire to go out and meet a partner (for a lot of us at least), getting a partner at work makes the most sense.

Unfortunately, as has been said on this forum before, feminism has destroyed workplace pursuals.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,839
Reaction score
3,754
Yeah.

No wonder work used to be one of the most common places to meet a partner. You spend 40 hours a week at work; it's inevitable there will be many an instance where 2 employees end up with chemistry.

Since you have to go to work anyway, and since work drains the desire to go out and meet a partner (for a lot of us at least), getting a partner at work makes the most sense.

Unfortunately, as has been said on this forum before, feminism has destroyed workplace pursuals.
Like you said, if you have chemistry with another employee, then you are going to get good vibes from her, IOIs or other Green Lights to pursue her. As long as you treat it like a social group (ie pursue for LTRs rather than flings) and stay with that same person for a lenght of time then it should be fine. Feminism can only destroy pursuals if you let it. We all know what the "white rules/boundaries" are and where the "red line/boundaries" are and our disposition does NOT lend itself to pursuing someone who is clearly not interested or have not given us a firm green light. Allof of women do not subscribe to feminism, and it's mainly a few women out there that may be causing trouble that make it bad for everyone else. The vast majority of cases, especially with the likes of us, I believe would be fine. You can't live in fear.
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,839
Reaction score
1,244
Age
35
I guess we are seeing a trend here, that if you are working in a full-time job, it zaps your energy to socialize because you are too drained
If a man has enough energy to regularly post his tales of woe on multiple social media platforms whenever he's not on the clock, he has the energy to go out into the fresh air and socialize with a wide array of humanity
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,839
Reaction score
3,754
If a man has enough energy to regularly post his tales of woe on multiple social media platforms whenever he's not on the clock, he has the energy to go out into the fresh air and socialize with a wide array of humanity
I can't speak for others, but I don't regularly post on here. If I find a triggering or very resonant post, then I might chime in. However, that's more of a trigger/knee-jerk response rather than just posting because I have nothing better to do with my time. Also using the term "socialize with a wide array of humanity" you are really talking about cold-approaching women where there is an absurdly high rejection rate. It takes two to tango and even if you put in the effort to socialize, people, and in particular women also have to cooperate otherwise it feels like you are harassing people and wasting your time. If you already know it's going to be like that upfront then you are not going to waste your time. Why bother if you are full of anti-seduction things going on?
 
Last edited:

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
2,024
Reaction score
542
Like you said, if you have chemistry with another employee, then you are going to get good vibes from her, IOIs or other Green Lights to pursue her. As long as you treat it like a social group (ie pursue for LTRs rather than flings) and stay with that same person for a lenght of time then it should be fine. Feminism can only destroy pursuals if you let it. We all know what the "white rules/boundaries" are and where the "red line/boundaries" are and our disposition does NOT lend itself to pursuing someone who is clearly not interested or have not given us a firm green light. Allof of women do not subscribe to feminism, and it's mainly a few women out there that may be causing trouble that make it bad for everyone else. The vast majority of cases, especially with the likes of us, I believe would be fine. You can't live in fear.
Unfortunately, it becomes a case of her word vs his word if anything goes south (and obviously the man will be viewed as the problem)
 

GoodMan32

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2022
Messages
2,024
Reaction score
542
If a man has enough energy to regularly post his tales of woe on multiple social media platforms whenever he's not on the clock, he has the energy to go out into the fresh air and socialize with a wide array of humanity
Person-to-person interactions drain me in a way online interactions don't.

And you know what? Even with online interactions, I tend to give it a rest in the evening. A lot of my posting on workdays happens on my commute/on breaks.
 

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Top