4 type of Men's conversations, interaction, and behavior style with women, and women reaction to it.

The Diver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
557
Reaction score
584
Men's conversations, interaction, and behavior style with women fall into one or more of four categories, and it's also about what most women want/don't want to hear and expect/not expect to hear from men.

1) Men who are saying what women Want to hear but mostly Not Expected to hear.
These men are very confident and self-assured. They express themselves, their needs, desires, and wants from women in a clear, direct, confident, and unapologetic manner.
This man will approach a woman with something like, "You are cute and SEXY; I am ATTRACTED to you and want to spend time with you". Even if women initially will criticize men like that, covertly, it'll arouse them. ( This style of approach, in my opinion, is very effective if you're at least a good-looking handsome man. I can't see it working with sub 6-7 men) .
Most Women covertly want that type of conversational interaction because it cuts the BS and skips the mind game. But mostly, they will appreciate this kind of approach if it's a man they are attracted to.
Women, mostly, Do Not expect this kind of conversation from men because the vast majority of men don't have the balls to deliver this kind of conversation style.

2) Men who are saying what women want and expect to hear.
This man, although confident, is a men who want to leave a good impression on women. This is the man who is overly concerned with getting women to like him and, therefore, will compliment women excessively and will be careful not to offend or challenge women. These men are timid, careful, afraid of criticism, too cautious, and indirect in their expression of their needs, wants, and desires.
They eventually tell women what they want and desire, but only after they are sure they are liked and won't criticized, but sometimes it's too slow and therefore can be too late, which will land them in the friend zone.
This is the type of conversational most women want to hear ( it's cartful, not intimidating, not challenging, and the compliments are a boost to their ego , but mostly because it'll leave them with the option to manipulate men), and that's what most women expect to hear because this is the conversational style of the vast majority of men. ( The simps)

3) this is what most women Don't want but Expect to hear.
This is the men who are s**tles feared to approach and express their needs and desires to women and, therefore, use their money, possessions, and assets to bait and attract women.
This is the man who'll say '" oh, I just want to be friends," or " I really don't want anything from you " .
These men are insecure and timid and will try to attract women with their money, expensive presents, expensive trips, expensive restaurants, expensive concerts, pay their bill, their car repairs, and as such, all that with the hope that maybe one day it'll progress to more than friendship.(
Women don't want to hear it because this type of conversation is phony, insincere, timid, and cliche, but they will exploit this man to their advantage with no intention of giving anything substantial in return. ( Sex, genuine affection, and love , Unless it's officially aggred as a " Sugar Daddy" transection).
They expect to hear it because women expect to be baited with money, gifts, and dine& wine ( this is the type that mostly attracts the gold diggers).

4) what women Don't want and Don't expect to hear.
This is the men who have been type 2 and 3, who many times ended up in a friend zone, harshly criticised, rejected, used, and humiliated.( Mostly sub 5 men).
Now, these men are bitter, resentful, angry, hate women, and just want to converse with them to gain revenge, hurt and humiliate them.
Now that he doesn't care anymore for women's opinions about him and doesn't care to be liked, he lost all fear of approaching women ( type 2 and 3), and now he's brave enough to express his needs and desires, but now he's is rude, aggressive, angry, and physically threatening to women.
Women don't expect to hear it because it's just too extreme and it's out of the chart behavior. ( This is the type of man who in extreme cases ending doing a mass shooting rampage)

So, these are the 4 major types of male conversations and interactions with women, and I believe every man has been on at least one or more of these types , sometimes a mix of two types,and sometimes skips from one type to the other and back.
 
Last edited:

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,089
Reaction score
4,944
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
I've been type 2, briefly been type 4, but type 1 is what I've settled into in the last 10 years and is BY FAR the most effective.

Your example in type 1 is bad, nobody says "You are cute and SEXY; I am ATTRACTED to you and want to spend time with you", that's closer to what type 2 would say. Your characterization of type 1 is accurate though.

I will never use general compliments like "cute" and "sexy", that is something they expect, unless they're not cute or sexy. I will for sure compliment, but it will be something about her specifically and only if I genuinely think so. Could be something specific about her looks, clothes, actions, the way she expresses herself or what she thinks about something. I will pick out and express something unique about her that doesn't apply to a bunch of other women, why she in particular catches my eye, again ONLY if I genuinely like it. This makes them feel seen and way more special than by giving them a general compliment.

I also would never say "I am attracted to you", this is one of those things you don't verbally state, you SHOW IT through actions. Saying it just kills the tension, both for me and for her, that's no fun and it's like spoiling a movie. It will become obvious through your continued interest and interaction with her.
 

holidayad_

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2022
Messages
234
Reaction score
216
Age
25
Number 1 is ideal.

Although I think that complimenting a woman puts her on a pedestal and gives her validation. Which can sometimes work against you.

If I'm asking her out, that's implicitly clear. If she wasn't hot, I wouldn't be asking her out.
 
Last edited:

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,577
Reaction score
5,688
The ideal is a flirty teasing conversational style with nuance and innuendo, clothed in innocuous banter and suffused with plausible deniability.
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,089
Reaction score
4,944
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
Although I think that complimenting a woman puts her on a pedestal and gives her validation.
Why you're doing it matters. Compliments are not inherently bad, they can just be applied in the right and wrong ways.

If you start out viewing her as above your league or in any way someone you need to earn then compliments will likely backfire. In this form a compliment signals that you view yourself as inferior to her because the reason you compliment is to earn her, to make her more attracted to you. Most unspecific compliments fall into this category.

If you only ever compliment something specific you notice about her, something that sets her in particular apart from most women and you genuinely appreciate what you're complimenting, then it works like most guys think general compliments work. It's also has to not be born out of a perceived need to compliment in order to earn her, it's just something you noticed, appreciated and informed her about.

Everyone likes being appreciated, nobody likes being played.
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
1,208
Reaction score
1,081
Age
46
I once had a woman say, “if you keep talking, I’m gonna have to blow you,” while expressing my views on immigration.

What category do I fit in?
 

Plinco

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,241
Reaction score
1,368
The ideal is to be a solid dude to begin with, say whatever you need to say, feel happy and entertained, and don't care what anyone else thinks.
 

The Diver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
557
Reaction score
584
I'm on my way to work . I will respond when back later on and will add my result of my last dates field report and experience going hard core number 1.
 
Last edited:

The Diver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
557
Reaction score
584
A bit of background about me, my post, and my experience so far.
I'll stick to the facts and the events as they were/are.
About me;
I'm in my late 50th, I'm short (5'7). I'm described by women as handsome, good-looking, hot, and even dead gorgeous. ( Funny enough, I never heard any of it from my ex-wife, which I was married to for 20y, and only started hearing it when I started dating after our separation 11 years ago), and I'll rate myself as 6.5, mostly because I'm lacking in hight.

All the time since I started dating (with a decent amount of success), I was 50% number two and 50% soft number one.
6 months ago, I broke up from my LTR of two years and started looking for dates around 3 months ago, while using my usual 50%-50% types 1 and 2.

I asked out 3 women I found attractive. ( There are still decent-looking women even in my age bracket). While using my 50%-50% types 1 and 2 approach style.
The first said 'maybe". I told her I was not doing Maybe and moved on.
The second "wasn't sure" - I moved on.
The third said "No". I Moved on.

Then I said to myself "I'm not coming out as sure enough with myself, kind of
plausible deniability, caution, going for the sure things kind of approach.
Then I said, F**K it; I'm going all the way hardcore, direct, bold, absolutely indifferent.

To be on the safe side, and for the sake of the first experiment, I decided to start with a 5-ish woman.
(The first one was purely for experimental purposes.)
Just to be transparent and true to the fact, I have seen her before on my Meetup group; we exchanged eye contact, but I never spoke to her a word.

I approached, had a few minutes of light talk, and said, "You're sexy, and I am attracted to you and want to have a drink with you".
She was surprised and said thank you. She found me attractive too, and said, "Yes."
We went for a drink a few days later, we had a chat, and I told her straight up that I was not looking for anything serious and just wanted to have a romantic and sexual connection with her. After a few questions, she said she had never done it before but would give it ago.
We went to her place after the drink. She was very stiff and guarded; the vibe wasn't there, and it put me off, and after a while, I left. I called a day later and told her I didn't see it working between us. ( I'm sure if I was to take my time, I'd have her, but as it was a kind of experiment, I didn't bother.)

The second woman - I told her the same as above, not looking for anything serious, just a "casual romantic sexual connection." She said that was fine with her as she wasn't looking for anything serious herself.
She came to my place for dinner, and at the end of the dinner and fun chat, I grabbed her hand and led her to my bedroom. I visited her at her place too, had fun, and we established a connection to catch up every two weeks.

Woman three - same as above. One drink at the pub, I told her she was sexy, I was attracted to her and wanted to spend time with her "at my place", she was in utter shock, after few seconds, she said " "This is hot", appreciated my direct approach, my honesty about my intention and said she never did it like that, but agree to come to my place the coming weekend "and see how it'll go".
She came, and we had a nice dinner and a chat, but when I thought the time was right to proceed to the bedroom, she said: "No, I need to know you better, I'm not this kind of girl."
I said no problem, we had a drink in the sitting room, and after a while, she left.
We chatted a few times on the phone during the week, but this started to feel wrong to me, and the connection faded away. ( Again, I believe if I were to take the long ruth, I'd have her too, but I didn't bother).

For the sake of transparency and stick to the truth, I knew those women before but never spoke to them before approaching with my hardcore, straightforward, and clear intention.

So, to sum it up, my old approach style produced zero dates out of 3 approaches.
My new full number-one approach produced 3 dates: one new lover ( as AA likes to call them) and two that I presumably could translate to a lover but didn't bother as it defeated my purpose to cut the usual BS.

Obviously, there's more than one way to skin a cat, and many other approaches will work, and each one of us will work with what is best for them. But my little experiment proved to me that I'm doing better by being brutally direct, upfront, bold, and unapologetic about my sexual desires and my intentions.
 
Last edited:

The Diver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
557
Reaction score
584
I will for sure compliment, but it will be something about her specifically and only if I genuinely think so. Could be something specific about her looks, clothes, actions, the way she expresses herself or what she thinks about something. I will pick out and express something unique about her that doesn't apply to a bunch of other women
Yes, I do using/ used it, but now I'm using it after I establish the connection .

I found using the "sexy" and" attracted to you " actually do introduce a required sexual tension to the conversation.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,577
Reaction score
5,688
I found using the "sexy" and" attracted to you " actually do introduce a required sexual tension to the conversation.
Women tend to enjoy being considered sexy and attractive.
 

Guitar_Whizz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2002
Messages
990
Reaction score
191
Location
UK
Men's conversations, interaction, and behavior style with women fall into one or more of four categories, and it's also about what most women want/don't want to hear and expect/not expect to hear from men.

1) Men who are saying what women Want to hear but mostly Not Expected to hear.
These men are very confident and self-assured. They express themselves, their needs, desires, and wants from women in a clear, direct, confident, and unapologetic manner.
This man will approach a woman with something like, "You are cute and SEXY; I am ATTRACTED to you and want to spend time with you". Even if women initially will criticize men like that, covertly, it'll arouse them. ( This style of approach, in my opinion, is very effective if you're at least a good-looking handsome man. I can't see it working with sub 6-7 men) .
Most Women covertly want that type of conversational interaction because it cuts the BS and skips the mind game. But mostly, they will appreciate this kind of approach if it's a man they are attracted to.
Women, mostly, Do Not expect this kind of conversation from men because the vast majority of men don't have the balls to deliver this kind of conversation style.

2) Men who are saying what women want and expect to hear.
This man, although confident, is a men who want to leave a good impression on women. This is the man who is overly concerned with getting women to like him and, therefore, will compliment women excessively and will be careful not to offend or challenge women. These men are timid, careful, afraid of criticism, too cautious, and indirect in their expression of their needs, wants, and desires.
They eventually tell women what they want and desire, but only after they are sure they are liked and won't criticized, but sometimes it's too slow and therefore can be too late, which will land them in the friend zone.
This is the type of conversational most women want to hear ( it's cartful, not intimidating, not challenging, and the compliments are a boost to their ego , but mostly because it'll leave them with the option to manipulate men), and that's what most women expect to hear because this is the conversational style of the vast majority of men. ( The simps)

3) this is what most women Don't want but Expect to hear.
This is the men who are s**tles feared to approach and express their needs and desires to women and, therefore, use their money, possessions, and assets to bait and attract women.
This is the man who'll say '" oh, I just want to be friends," or " I really don't want anything from you " .
These men are insecure and timid and will try to attract women with their money, expensive presents, expensive trips, expensive restaurants, expensive concerts, pay their bill, their car repairs, and as such, all that with the hope that maybe one day it'll progress to more than friendship.(
Women don't want to hear it because this type of conversation is phony, insincere, timid, and cliche, but they will exploit this man to their advantage with no intention of giving anything substantial in return. ( Sex, genuine affection, and love , Unless it's officially aggred as a " Sugar Daddy" transection).
They expect to hear it because women expect to be baited with money, gifts, and dine& wine ( this is the type that mostly attracts the gold diggers).

4) what women Don't want and Don't expect to hear.
This is the men who have been type 2 and 3, who many times ended up in a friend zone, harshly criticised, rejected, used, and humiliated.( Mostly sub 5 men).
Now, these men are bitter, resentful, angry, hate women, and just want to converse with them to gain revenge, hurt and humiliate them.
Now that he doesn't care anymore for women's opinions about him and doesn't care to be liked, he lost all fear of approaching women ( type 2 and 3), and now he's brave enough to express his needs and desires, but now he's is rude, aggressive, angry, and physically threatening to women.
Women don't expect to hear it because it's just too extreme and it's out of the chart behavior. ( This is the type of man who in extreme cases ending doing a mass shooting rampage)

So, these are the 4 major types of male conversations and interactions with women, and I believe every man has been on at least one or more of these types , sometimes a mix of two types,and sometimes skips from one type to the other and back.
These are the late great Alan Roger Currie"s 4 Modes of verbal communication. You've ripped his talking points off verbatim without even acknowledging him, as if you came up these ideas yourself. This was one of Alan Roger Currie's pet peeves, and as an avid follow of Mode One I have to call you out on this. At least have the decency to acknowledge the source. It's even worse that you've reworded his Modes as 'categories' or 'types' rather than Modes.
 
Last edited:

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
699
Reaction score
457
Age
39
These are the late great Alan Roger Currie"s 4 Modes of verbal communication. You've ripped his talking points off verbatim without even acknowledging him, as if you came up these ideas yourself. This was one of Alan Roger Currie's pet peeves, and as an avid follow of Mode One I have to call you out on this. At least have the decency to acknowledge the source. It's even worse that you've reworded his Modes as 'categories' or 'types' rather than Modes.
That’s messed up.
 

The Diver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
557
Reaction score
584
These are the late great Alan Roger Currie"s 4 Modes of verbal communication. You've ripped his talking points off verbatim without even acknowledging him, as if you came up these ideas yourself. This was one of Alan Roger Currie's pet peeves, and as an avid follow of Mode One I have to call you out on this. At least have the decency to acknowledge the source. It's even worse that you've reworded his Modes as 'categories' or 'types' rather than Modes.

Yes, of course, it is from the book. Anyone who is familiar with his work knows it.
I translated it " to my understanding using my own words" . Nowhere in my post I said that it's my idea.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,295
Reaction score
4,664
This is the man who'll say '" oh, I just want to be friends," or " I really don't want anything from you " .
This would turn even the sluttiest nymphomaniac's hoohah to as dry as the Sahara.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,295
Reaction score
4,664
A bit of background about me, my post, and my experience so far.
I'll stick to the facts and the events as they were/are.
About me;
I'm in my late 50th, I'm short (5'7). I'm described by women as handsome, good-looking, hot, and even dead gorgeous. ( Funny enough, I never heard any of it from my ex-wife, which I was married to for 20y, and only started hearing it when I started dating after our separation 11 years ago), and I'll rate myself as 6.5, mostly because I'm lacking in hight.

All the time since I started dating (with a decent amount of success), I was 50% number two and 50% soft number one.
6 months ago, I broke up from my LTR of two years and started looking for dates around 3 months ago, while using my usual 50%-50% types 1 and 2.

I asked out 3 women I found attractive. ( There are still decent-looking women even in my age bracket). While using my 50%-50% types 1 and 2 approach style.
The first said 'maybe". I told her I was not doing Maybe and moved on.
The second "wasn't sure" - I moved on.
The third said "No". I Moved on.

Then I said to myself "I'm not coming out as sure enough with myself, kind of
plausible deniability, caution, going for the sure things kind of approach.
Then I said, F**K it; I'm going all the way hardcore, direct, bold, absolutely indifferent.

To be on the safe side, and for the sake of the first experiment, I decided to start with a 5-ish woman.
(The first one was purely for experimental purposes.)
Just to be transparent and true to the fact, I have seen her before on my Meetup group; we exchanged eye contact, but I never spoke to her a word.

I approached, had a few minutes of light talk, and said, "You're sexy, and I am attracted to you and want to have a drink with you".
She was surprised and said thank you. She found me attractive too, and said, "Yes."
We went for a drink a few days later, we had a chat, and I told her straight up that I was not looking for anything serious and just wanted to have a romantic and sexual connection with her. After a few questions, she said she had never done it before but would give it ago.
We went to her place after the drink. She was very stiff and guarded; the vibe wasn't there, and it put me off, and after a while, I left. I called a day later and told her I didn't see it working between us. ( I'm sure if I was to take my time, I'd have her, but as it was a kind of experiment, I didn't bother.)

The second woman - I told her the same as above, not looking for anything serious, just a "casual romantic sexual connection." She said that was fine with her as she wasn't looking for anything serious herself.
She came to my place for dinner, and at the end of the dinner and fun chat, I grabbed her hand and led her to my bedroom. I visited her at her place too, had fun, and we established a connection to catch up every two weeks.

Woman three - same as above. One drink at the pub, I told her she was sexy, I was attracted to her and wanted to spend time with her "at my place", she was in utter shock, after few seconds, she said " "This is hot", appreciated my direct approach, my honesty about my intention and said she never did it like that, but agree to come to my place the coming weekend "and see how it'll go".
She came, and we had a nice dinner and a chat, but when I thought the time was right to proceed to the bedroom, she said: "No, I need to know you better, I'm not this kind of girl."
I said no problem, we had a drink in the sitting room, and after a while, she left.
We chatted a few times on the phone during the week, but this started to feel wrong to me, and the connection faded away. ( Again, I believe if I were to take the long ruth, I'd have her too, but I didn't bother).

For the sake of transparency and stick to the truth, I knew those women before but never spoke to them before approaching with my hardcore, straightforward, and clear intention.

So, to sum it up, my old approach style produced zero dates out of 3 approaches.
My new full number-one approach produced 3 dates: one new lover ( as AA likes to call them) and two that I presumably could translate to a lover but didn't bother as it defeated my purpose to cut the usual BS.

Obviously, there's more than one way to skin a cat, and many other approaches will work, and each one of us will work with what is best for them. But my little experiment proved to me that I'm doing better by being brutally direct, upfront, bold, and unapologetic about my sexual desires and my intentions.
Are these chicks harridans? :rolleyes:
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
1,208
Reaction score
1,081
Age
46
Top