Woman i've been dating/seeing officially unofficial type relationship

[jhonny9546]

When you compromise on your principles and values- you exhibit a weak manipulated character, ( easy to manipulate you), and that means you're doing it wrong.

A man shouldn't compromise his principles and values for anyone. ( as long as no one proves them to be wrong with a valid explanation- toxic woman behaviour is not a valid explanation).

Would you make an example of it in real life?

 

[The Diver]

Would you make an example of it in real life?

There are " heavy principles" and there are " light principles".

A heavy principle is something like "doing drugs" with a new woman because you want to impress her as a cool guy, while all along you are against doing drugs. This is a serious principled compromise.( For me).

A light compromise could be as simple as "not double texting" due to your previous experience that you may lose frame and therefore there's no point in it in the long run, but you're still double and quadruple texting giving a free card to the new girl for not replying to you because she is hot and you don't want to lose the pu$$.

Principles and values are a result of your life experience and the knowledge you accumulated in your lifetime to this point.

It's ok to examine your principles and values and adjust accordingly if there's a serious positive justification for doing so.( Doing drugs for pu$$ if you're against it ,for example , is not one of them in my opinion , but each for their own).

 

[jhonny9546]

A light compromise could be as simple as "not double texting" due to your previous experience that you may lose frame and therefore there's no point in it in the long run, but you're still double and quadruple texting giving a free card to the new girl for not replying to you because she is hot and you don't want to lose the pu$$.

This is what @AmsterdamAssassin call "manipulation"?

It's ok to examine your principles and values and adjust accordingly if there's a serious positive justification for doing so.

I think so. When a woman talk, we can listen to her, and why not apply changes in our frames if that only make that "stronger"?
Maybe she found a fail and want to help us?

(maybe she tell us she is weak and want us to take position when she does bad things)

 

[The Diver]

This is what @AmsterdamAssassin call "manipulation"?


I think so. When a woman talk, we can listen to her, and why not apply changes in our frames if that only make that "stronger"?
Maybe she found a fail and want to help us?

(maybe she tell us she is weak and want us to take position when she does bad things)

I haven't read the other comments yet, but I assume AA talking about the same thing if he mentioned manipulation.

 

[Gamisch]

Would you make an example of it in real life?

You should sit yourself down and if needed literally take a pen and some paper ( or make a thread here) describing YOUR demands. Regardless if those are realistic TODAY.

Then you go about your life. You will meet women and be able to hold them up against your standards. You'll very quick learn that it's extremely difficult to find one and it will feel like " looking for a needle in a stack of hay".

I can give you some examples but mind you; I can keep going on and on..

- low bodycount, educated/well read spoken, introspective, cooperative, no crazy tats, take care of her health, no drugs, no alcohol addiction, not too many male friends, all male friends must have a credible back story, her own money, no gold digger, no toxic friends, no vacation addiction, no social media addiction, positive feminine energy, socially calibrated, a great cook, good with children, good with elderly, sympathetic, not overly jealous, not overweight or working on improving that constantly,

I'll stop here for now...these are just examples of things that will INSTANTLY make me second-guess her existence in my life aka NEXT. Some...might...be negotiable but ...

You see? Feck the " just be nice and hb6" mindset. Because all of the above and way more will come to the surface anyway. Yes, that is nothing but experience, experience and experience.

 

[jhonny9546]

You should sit yourself down and if needed literally take a pen and some paper ( or make a thread here) describing YOUR demands. Regardless if those are realistic TODAY.

Then you go about your life. You will meet women and be able to hold them up against your standards. You'll very quick learn that it's extremely difficult to find one and it will feel like " looking for a needle in a stack of hay".

I can give you some examples but mind you; I can keep going on and on..

- low bodycount, educated/well read spoken, introspective, cooperative, no crazy tats, take care of her health, no drugs, no alcohol addiction, not too many male friends, all male friends must have a credible back story, her own money, no gold digger, no toxic friends, no vacation addiction, no social media addiction, positive feminine energy, socially calibrated, a great cook, good with children, good with elderly, sympathetic, not overly jealous, not overweight or working on improving that constantly,

I'll stop here for now...these are just examples of things that will INSTANTLY make me second-guess her existence in my life aka NEXT. Some...might...be negotiable but ...

You see? Feck the " just be nice and hb6" mindset. Because all of the above and way more will come to the surface anyway. Yes, that is nothing but experience, experience and experience.

Finally, I have a clear image of what you intended.

By the way, I understand that I am searching for a woman with those characteristics, but what if this woman has some traits that contradict them? For example, I've met someone who possesses all the qualities mentioned above but have "vacation addiction," "social media addiction," and also "gossip addiction."?

What do you do in this case? Do you compromise or move on to someone else?

 

[Gamisch]

Finally, I have a clear image of what you intended.

By the way, I understand that I am searching for a woman with those characteristics, but what if this woman has some traits that contradict them? For example, I've met someone who possesses all the qualities mentioned above but have "vacation addiction," "social media addiction," and also "gossip addiction."?

What do you do in this case? Do you compromise or move on to someone else?

Move on. As harsh as it sounds, eventually one drop of poison is enough to kill whatever you try to grow.

It will spiral out of control and it's a seed of destruction.

If my SO wants to spend her money on needless vacations we are not compatible.
If she prefers her social media followers over a genuine bond with me ,we're not compatible.
If she gossips and talks bad about everyone while I prefer to refrain from gossip, we're not compatible.

Those are all major issues. I can break em all down but it mostly comes down to things that eventually will work against ME. E.g the gossip one. Eventually she'll have a gossip partner AKA a " manager " that will whisper negative shyte about me in her ears, and she'll value her gossip partner more than she does me. Can be a family member, " male friend" /work husband/ orbiter/ ghey bestie , a neighbor, ect ect. It will be difficult for me to grasp the gossiping because they will smile in my face. Something as stupid as " not liking my vibe that day" can be the reason for gossip aka planting seeds of destruction, let alone bigger things.

Just one example.

 

[jhonny9546]

Move on. As harsh as it sounds, eventually one drop of poison is enough to kill whatever you try to grow.

It will spiral out of control and it's a seed of destruction.

If my SO wants to spend her money on needless vacations we are not compatible.
If she prefers her social media followers over a genuine bond with me ,we're not compatible.
If she gossips and talks bad about everyone while I prefer to refrain from gossip, we're not compatible.

Those are all major issues. I can break em all down but it mostly comes down to things that eventually will work against ME. E.g the gossip one. Eventually she'll have a gossip partner AKA a " manager " that will whisper negative shyte about me in her ears, and she'll value her gossip partner more than she does me. Can be a family member, " male friend" /work husband/ orbiter/ ghey bestie , a neighbor, ect ect. It will be difficult for me to grasp the gossiping because they will smile in my face. Something as stupid as " not liking my vibe that day" can be the reason for gossip aka planting seeds of destruction, let alone bigger things.

Just one example.

Nice!

And won't you ever try to work with her, on let her understand this facts, and try to shape her to not do it?