Texting and meeting a married coworker

[Lotus Effect]

WOW at people giving him advice on how to proceed with a married woman, then you got some of the same people complaining about modern women when you are supporting this type of depravity talk about cognitive dissonance. No wonder modern women are so bold

Thank you mate. Wish I could double like your comment

 

[Gamisch]

all she has to do is show text messages or screenshots and you outta there.

Yeah thanks for mentioning this. It completely flew passed my mind.

Another "funny" one: a woman won't think twice to throw you under the bus when she gets caught and needs tk save face, and the chance of her getting caught is REALLY high. She'll sacrifice you to save her career, marriage and overall status in regards to her friends and family in a heartbeat.

People can delete single messages and make a conversation look one sided even when it wasn't..

All and all this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Proceed with extreme caution, even better is to take the L and leave it like this.

 

[Lean Baby Face]

How much do you like her compared to the other women you're dating? Do you like her enough to the point you think she's worth keeping and meeting on a regular basis? Also, are the other women married or in relationships as well?

I'd say if she don't seem to have any plans on divorcing her husband at some point then she's probably not worth it in the long term and I'd probably stick to some of the other women, but again, if she's something special and the passion just doesn't compare when with the other women then I know the feeling, it ain't easy just moving on to the next and expect to feel the same if the other one is stuck on your mind.

 

[Gamisch]

How much do you like her compared to the other women you're dating? Do you like her enough to the point you think she's worth keeping and meeting on a regular basis? Also, are the other women married or in relationships as well?

I'd say if she don't seem to have any plans on divorcing her husband at some point then she's probably not worth it in the long term and I'd probably stick to some of the other women, but again, if she's something special and the passion just doesn't compare when with the other women then I know the feeling, it ain't easy just moving on to the next and expect to feel the same if the other one is stuck on your mind.

The problem is you reap what you sow in life.

If you take a married woman, you'll marry that woman and she will be taken from you in a similar manner.

Karma isn't a dude. No. It's a bytch.

 

[user252009]

I get the feeling guys here are missing some important things about this:
- I'm not initiating anything, she's the one that is
- She is leaving the company soon
- I'm starting to date another girl so there's no oneitis danger

 

[BPH]

I get the feeling guys here are missing some important things about this:
- I'm not initiating anything, she's the one that is

It doesn't matter, she's leaving the company so she's not risking anything - you are.

- She is leaving the company soon

So? Have you forgotten about the fact that she has a husband?

- I'm starting to date another girl so there's no oneitis danger

You're not dating anyone, as evidenced by your 2-year dry spell.

Why don't you put your energy into single women rather than married ones, who might cost you your job or life if her husband finds out.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think everyone is being a little harsh on OP. He is literally asking whether he should pursue or stay away from his married co-worker. Instead, many of the arguments focus on morality and judgment instead of using systematic logic and facts. OP is an adult and should be aware of the consequences of his actions, whether they turn out positive (getting his balls drained after +2 years) or negative (getting fired from his job). However, many people seem to be considering the situation from the husband's perspective, not even know if he is neglecting his wife, his relationship, or if he has an abusive personality.

We should stop playing the morality police, as imposing our judgments on others often reflects our own issues rather than genuine concern.

PS: Karma is often used as a coping mechanism and it is not real.

Personal opinion: The woman sees the OP as a friend. OP is so rusty and doesn’t have the necessary leaderships skills to turn her desire into lust.

 

[BPH]

I think everyone is being a little harsh on OP. He is literally asking whether he should pursue or stay away from his married co-worker. Instead, many of the arguments focus on morality and judgment instead of using systematic logic and facts. OP is an adult and should be aware of the consequences of his actions, whether they turn out positive (getting his balls drained after +2 years) or negative (getting fired from his job). However, many people seem to be considering the situation from the husband's perspective, not even know if he is neglecting his wife, his relationship, or if he has an abusive personality.

We should stop playing the morality police, as imposing our judgments on others often reflects our own issues rather than genuine concern.

PS: Karma is often used as a coping mechanism and it is not real.

Personal opinion: The woman sees the OP as a friend. OP is so rusty and doesn’t have the necessary leaderships skills to turn her desire into lust.

He is trying to get validation that he should continue seeing a married woman as an orbiter, which could endanger his job and his life.

I don't think people here are being harsh at all.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I've read:

Oneitis
and
Married woman

In the same sentence. That is a recipe for disaster.

OBS: If you are going for a married chick, who is not in an open relationship (aka cheater), than you are a chump.

Give this man an award for preaching STAY AWAY from married women.

And for all of you "go for it" mofo's, you guys are more of a lowlife than he is.

 

[Gamisch]

I think everyone is being a little harsh on OP. He is literally asking whether he should pursue or stay away from his married co-worker. Instead, many of the arguments focus on morality and judgment instead of using systematic logic and facts. OP is an adult and should be aware of the consequences of his actions, whether they turn out positive (getting his balls drained after +2 years) or negative (getting fired from his job). However, many people seem to be considering the situation from the husband's perspective, not even know if he is neglecting his wife, his relationship, or if he has an abusive personality.

We should stop playing the morality police, as imposing our judgments on others often reflects our own issues rather than genuine concern.

PS: Karma is often used as a coping mechanism and it is not real.

Personal opinion: The woman sees the OP as a friend. OP is so rusty and doesn’t have the necessary leaderships skills to turn her desire into lust.

Bo, he's pushing the narrative while most give their honest ,raw and uncut opinion about this.

To me this would be a nightmare; both the job AND her husband (his people?) might go after you. While there probably won't even be any fecking...

This whole idea should be nibbed in the bud IMMEDIATELY. Doing this will actually show your growth as a man /person.

I get the feeling guys here are missing some important things about this:
- I'm not initiating anything, she's the one that is
- She is leaving the company soon
- I'm starting to date another girl so there's no oneitis danger

I have the idea that YOU are missing the point:
-she is a danger on multiple levels in your life: namely your health and your " wealth "

It's "funny" how most men assume that the unknown man on the other side is a weakling because of the behaviour of his deceiving wife. Once you know how women operate you'll understand that this type of woman is a hazard to any men getting involved in her life.

100% that this won't end well.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

Who said anything about falling in love? What kind of a reply is that?

One of the best replies ( as in a one sentence reply that sums it all up).

Lately I've came to this conclusion (for the 100th time in my life

the little man in your pants is leading you rather than that grey mass in your skull.

All the while an experienced Don Juan should KNOW that women are fickle as Eff. One moment they feel this next moment it's that. On top of that women are perfectly capable of giving a man an orbiter role where sex isn't even in the conversation; cap driver, work husband, money loaner, handyman, ghey best friend ect ect. Mind you, its not unthinkable that ALL of these men wanna hit it but won't ever stand a chance.

And ,with all due respect, but if you are ALSO on a lengthy dryspell....you should know that this is (literally) a possible dead end.

*** Husband will take his anger due to the humiliation out on you.
*** women TALK. Suddenly she blurs out that "@user252009 at least LISTENS to me!!". And now you're on a really real hitlist from another man. And the "hit" might be an anonymous phonecall to HR or literally a bullet and everything in between. Aka, it's NOT within your control who she talks to and how people will react.

Take a page from the female playbook: "suddenly " you changed your mind and you understand that your career cannot and will not be jeopardised by anyone, any family member friend or woman. And thus "suddenly " you cut all contact. For Christ sake, leave her and focus on ANY other woman bruh...

Play with fire and you will get burned l.
Now imma go pump some iron. Bon dias.

This is the explanation. Listen to the advice of the ones who have been burned @user252009

 

[Clockwerk50]

He is trying to get validation that he should continue seeing a married woman as an orbiter, which could endanger his job and his life.

I don't think people here are being harsh at all.

Hypothetically speaking, while a married woman is often viewed as someone to stay in within the social norms and morality, this woman here might want to break free from these constraints and explore unexpressed desires like infidelity and rebellion, with OP potentially being someone who could facilitate this experience. Obviously, I’m exaggerating, but insinuating right away about having an affair with a married woman it becomes a fallacy immidietly. Maybe I’m desensitized from seeing similar situations frequently, but such scenarios often occur because the woman allows it, as she controls access to sex. If it’s not OP, it could be someone else.

Anyway, whether or not my views are moralistic it’s beside the point; I try to not judge people, but good luck OP.

 

[Alvafe]

having standards nowadays are hard, by the look of it

 

[corrector]

Hypothetically speaking, while a married woman is often viewed as someone to stay in within the social norms and morality, this woman here might want to break free from these constraints and explore unexpressed desires like infidelity and rebellion, with OP potentially being someone who could facilitate this experience. Obviously, I’m exaggerating, but insinuating right away about having an affair with a married woman it becomes a fallacy immidietly. Maybe I’m desensitized from seeing similar situations frequently, but such scenarios often occur because the woman allows it, as she controls access to sex. If it’s not OP, it could be someone else.

Anyway, whether or not my views are moralistic it’s beside the point; I try to not judge people, but good luck OP.

Right, so it sounds like you are saying the OP should have an affair because if he doesnt, another guy who is willing to risk his job/fallout will gladly take the next spot in line and he will miss out to his other coworker is successful (the one she is talking to behind his back). After all, we all play Russian Roulette when dealing with women anyway.

 

[user252009]

OK, I need to set a few things straight:

- I'm 90% sure she sees me as a friend; which I'm totally fine with as I'm keeping the convos few and in between and there's no direct flirting
- I would never act on this, unless she made it clear herself first at some point that they have an open relationship kind of thing, and if so, only after she has left our company

So I have no expectation of this going anywhere at all at any point. I merely raised the topic to see what others think or whether anyone else has been in a similar situation. Only time will tell what will come of it but as I said, I fully expect for this to go nowhere, unless she proves me otherwise. Just looking for insight why she initiated the contact, initiates texts, offers to do things for me or is willing to meet up without hesitation.

 

[manfrombelow]

Sounds like you made a splash at the office spending a lot of individual time with your married coworker, I would be thinking more about what’s your professional reputation looking like these days.

True. Workplace romance is the last thing a man need in his life.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

True. Workplace romance is the last thing a man need in his life.

For many men, work is the place where they meet their future girlfriends / wives.

It's not the romance, it's the affair that is pretty much problematic and rarely benefits someone.

 

[Divorced w 3]

True. Workplace romance is the last thing a man need in his life.

I don’t know if I would maybe go that far with it, but it certainly shouldn’t be obvious and unless you really can’t do anything about it. These people should be in different departments. I would think.

 

[Solomon]

Hypothetically speaking, while a married woman is often viewed as someone to stay in within the social norms and morality, this woman here might want to break free from these constraints and explore unexpressed desires like infidelity and rebellion, with OP potentially being someone who could facilitate this experience. Obviously, I’m exaggerating, but insinuating right away about having an affair with a married woman it becomes a fallacy immidietly. Maybe I’m desensitized from seeing similar situations frequently, but such scenarios often occur because the woman allows it, as she controls access to sex. If it’s not OP, it could be someone else.

Anyway, whether or not my views are moralistic it’s beside the point; I try to not judge people, but good luck OP.

Let me just say that I don't think OP is an evil Person. I'll say it again I don't think OP is evil or a bad person. My argument moreso is with guys who are telling OP to go after a married woman at the workplace when this could not just put his livelihood at risk but also his life. It goes against what the site stands for and if you disagree so be it, moving on

OP has no control over how the husband reacts if the husband catches them or worse the actions said husband may take. How many times have we seen on the news of a guy killing his wife because she was cheating on him? or killing the guy she was cheating on him with? or killing both? I'm not saying this as a joke but I live in an "Open Carry" state. I know you don't live in the USA so let me break it down for you. Open Carry means that you can carry your gun on you with it being visible if you have a permit of course. People think twice before they physically fight(or try to rob someone) especially if they see someone carrying. If you live in a concealed state you better think twice too, I know some mother****ers that fantasize about the moment they can blast someone. There are certain risks you don't take or think about twice cause no one wants to get their head knocked off.

The husband is a variable that OP can't account for. The wife might pillow talk OP and say "He's a soft guy he won't do shyt" Everyone thinks that until the "Soft guy" catches his wife being doggystyled raw by another man on his bed. If said Husband has his Beretta or Glock while he catches them in the act what would he do in a fit of rage or lapse of judgment due to being highly emotional?

^^This guy was worth $5 million(made it all on Tik Tok)and lost his mind when he found out his wife was getting the extra fat sausage on the side and killed her and the dude.

Once again I'm not judging OP, I'm judging the people who are giving OP advice on how to carry out this affair. Some of you may think this is a joke or a game but there are people, especially in America who don't play that shyt. Not everything is for Internet likes or rep points when you start messing with people in real life you do not know how they are going to act if you violate something that may be deemed sacred!

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

OP has no control over how the husband reacts if the husband catches them or worse the actions said husband may take. How many times have we seen on the news of a guy killing his wife because she was cheating on him? or killing the guy she was cheating on him with? or killing both?

I agree that having sex with married women can be hazardous. I had to deal with angry husbands.
In one case I was still in my early twenties and didn't know the older woman I had sex with was married (worst thing for the husband that I didn't know which woman he was talking about when he told me I'd fcuked his wife and he had to tell me her name).
The other one was later, when I was in my forties and having sex with a 'single mom' who turned out not to be that single.

In both cases I came out unscathed, but it could easily have gone the other way.