Why I think most relationships fail

[Twist]

I see alot of threads where most advice is that she should respect you etc etc.

But I feel like most of this advice can be summed up in to just “LOVE YOURSELF”.

So what does this mean? When looking for a partner you need to know who you are, what you look for in a partner and obviously also have some sort of connection with that person. I would like to also listen to what my gut says about a woman im seeing.

I believe that relationships are as simple as setting certain boundaries, knowing who you are and being honest towards and about yourself. If you do not communicate this early on the possible future relationship wont last.

Most women also just want to feel heard from her emotional perspective, so my advice would be to just listen, rephrase what she is saying so she feels heard and dont give any logical advice. After that just make her feel held. By doing this you are already 1-0 ahead than most men, because most men just argue their logical perspective which causes alot of fights and her being unhappy and not understood in a relationship, which will make her leave you.

After making her emotional perspective feel understood you can tell your logical perspective which will make you also feel heard and happier in the relationship.

This is just the beginning, its important to have had bad times in a relationship and see how she will act according to her feelings at that moment. Does she cheat, will she cross boundaries you have set in the beginning? If so, then its up to you if you accept the crossing of boundaries or not. A good woman wont cross any boundaries as she respects them, mainly because you respect and love yourself. You are content being alone.

And yes, there are many good women out there. You just have to stop thinking with your **** and stop approaching women who know what the **** they are doing when they wear extremely tight clothes “just for herself”. These type of women are usually the women we as men notice and are attracted to.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Relationships fail because both sides don't do enough work on the relationship itself to help it flourish. People fail to realize that relationships are active things not passive things. You can't just go into cruise control and think everything will work out. If it's not moving in a positive direction, it's moving in a negative direction. There is no standing still.

Additionally, many people make poor decisions on who they get into relationships with and ignore red flag after red flag because they either are afraid of losing the person and being single again or because they are not good at spotting them.

80% of relationships fail because they chose to ignore red flags and ignored when a person told them who they were early on in the relationship.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Most relationships fail because western society does not promote long-term relationships . For example, most relationships in Muslim countries that promotes families/relationships do not fail. Even in countries that are not Muslim, but support long-term relationships, they are doing better than the West with respect to marriage, etc.

Just an aside, but most females are happier in Muslim countries when compared to western nations. Also, people in India where arranged married are common, females there are happier also.

When a society promotes, no fault divorce, "you go queen", if "your man doesn't full fill all your desires, dump that looser, there are more fish in the sea..' etc.. etc.. etc.. No to mention, women are focusing more on careers during their prime fertility years, instead of families/relationships... Well, why would anyone expect relationships NOT TO FAIL in the west? Men are not disposable. But western society tells women that.

It's almost as if the west was run by childless cat ladies promoting their own ideas of what women should be doing instead of promoting families/relationships, etc.

 

[Twist]

Relationships fail because both sides don't do enough work on the relationship itself to help it flourish. People fail to realize that relationships are active things not passive things. You can't just go into cruise control and think everything will work out. If it's not moving in a positive direction, it's moving in a negative direction. There is no standing still.

Additionally, many people make poor decisions on who they get into relationships with and ignore red flag after red flag because they either are afraid of losing the person and being single again or because they are not good at spotting them.

80% of relationships fail because they chose to ignore red flags and ignored when a person told them who they were early on in the relationship.

I believe most people ignore those red flags because they are afraid to be alone. I remember my first ex girlfriend who was a solid 10 and i thought I could never pull someone that pretty with the same amazing compatibility/ connection we had. She showed some major red flags, which I chose to ignore because the connection I had with her was of that I didnt have with anyone else.

Lets just say this was a painful decision.

 

[plumber]

Most relationships fail because either the woman or the man gets bored. Usually it is the woman that gets bored.

When bored, then self control and integrity are in the front seat.

Self control and integrity are linked to consequences.

Women in history had consequences for causing or allowing a failed relationship.

Society (western) no longer values the relationship. The reason for that will be the same as why they fail.

Yes, men should do better and women should do better. Instead of making ways for us to do better we are making ways that lead us to do worse. As un popular as it sounds, the natural way was for women to supplicate to men. Now, it is switching to men needing to supplicate to women. The interesting topic is why is this happening.

In the very old days, women would get together and discuss how to manage difficult men. Now men get together to discuss how to manage the difficult women Whoever has the POWER is the difficult one.

There is really no answer other than to understand better what we are. The only way to sanity is to respect yourself, just as suggested.

"We are not what we want to believe we are."

We are in fact apex predator's, in every way.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Just an aside, but most females are happier in Muslim countries when compared to western nations. Also, people in India where arranged married are common, females there are happier also.

I agree. They are excited to be treated like zoo animals.

“Article 13 relates to women. It says it is mandatory for a woman to veil her body at all times in public and that a face covering is essential to avoid temptation and tempting others. Clothing should not be thin, tight or short.

Women are obliged to cover themselves in front of non-Muslim males and females to avoid being corrupted. A woman’s voice is deemed intimate and so should not be heard singing, reciting or reading aloud in public. It is forbidden for women to look at men they are not related to by blood or marriage and vice versa.

Article 19 bans the playing of music, the transportation of solo female travelers, and the mixing of men and women who are not related to each other.”

The Taliban publish vice laws that ban women's voices and bare faces in public

Regulating aspects of everyday life such as public transportation, music and shaving, they are the first formal declaration of vice and virtue laws in Afghanistan since the takeover.

www.nbcnews.com

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I believe most people ignore those red flags because they are afraid to be alone. I remember my first ex girlfriend who was a solid 10 and i thought I could never pull someone that pretty with the same amazing compatibility/ connection we had. She showed some major red flags, which I chose to ignore because the connection I had with her was of that I didnt have with anyone else.

Lets just say this was a painful decision.

There are no such thing as 10s

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Or most relationships fail because people realise it's better to have no relationship than a bad relationship.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Or most relationships fail because people realise it's better to have no relationship than a bad relationship.

Except if this was true there wouldn't be so many examples of women and men dating the same type of person over and over again that ends up having the same result.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Except if this was true there wouldn't be so many examples of women and men dating the same type of person over and over again that ends up having the same result.

Some people take more convincing than others.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I agree. They are excited to be treated like zoo animals.

But yet, study after study... the majority of Muslim women are happier than western women. 100 years ago in the USA when women did not have the vote, the majority of USA women were also happier. Why is that?

Do women just like to be treated like "zoo animals"? Also, I'm not sure if most Muslim men would consider their wives as "zoo animals"; or their daughters and nieces as "zoo animals".. But whatever, you be you.. sounds like xenophobic if you ask me though.

The Relationship between Happiness and Mental Health among Saudi Women - PMC

The happiness and mental health of individuals are crucial for national developments. In Saudi Arabia, wellbeing occupies a central position in Vision 2030, along with women’s empowerment. Rapidly changing rights and responsibilities might result in ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

There are other studies, but they are buried - it doesn't fit the western narrative. I remember a researcher gathering data about women in Afghanistan when the USA was about to leave. He came to the same conclusion. Heck, walk about London or many other western cities. You will find on average, Muslim women do not want to covert to the "sex in the city" lifestyle even when given the chance. They still wear head scarfs and traditional coverings. I dare you to go up to then and ask them why they still wear the tradition head dress.. Why they still want to be treated like "zoo animals" That would be a fun youtube video hahahahaha

 

[Slowhandluke]

Most relationships fail because either the woman or the man gets bored. Usually it is the woman that gets bored.

The typical relationship gets boring. That's why they say "relationships are hard"... If relationships were exciting and fun all the time; it wouldn't be "hard". That is why people have weddings and say their vows to stick together in front of many people; public declarations help people to keep their word (at least when taken seriously -- and not an excuse to have a big party)

 

[Clockwerk50]

But yet, study after study... the majority of Muslim women are happier than western women. 100 years ago in the USA when women did not have the vote, the majority of USA women were also happier. Why is that?

Do women just like to be treated like "zoo animals"? Also, I'm not sure if most Muslim men would consider their wives as "zoo animals"; or their daughters and nieces as "zoo animals".. But whatever, you be you.. sounds like xenophobic if you ask me though.

The Relationship between Happiness and Mental Health among Saudi Women - PMC

The happiness and mental health of individuals are crucial for national developments. In Saudi Arabia, wellbeing occupies a central position in Vision 2030, along with women’s empowerment. Rapidly changing rights and responsibilities might result in ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

There are other studies, but they are buried - it doesn't fit the western narrative. I remember a researcher gathering data about women in Afghanistan when the USA was about to leave. He came to the same conclusion. Heck, walk about London or many other western cities. You will find on average, Muslim women do not want to covert to the "sex in the city" lifestyle even when given the chance. They still wear head scarfs and traditional coverings. I dare you to go up to then and ask them why they still wear the tradition head dress.. Why they still want to be treated like "zoo animals" That would be a fun youtube video hahahahaha

Am I xenophobic? On the contrary, I recently posted an article about the Taliban’s constraints on the Afghan population, which was published yesterday, and it was not only disregarded but it was also ignored. From a human rights perspective and an outsider’s viewpoint, these constraints can be seen as limiting freedoms of expression and personal autonomy. Guess whose liberties are confined by barriers at a zoo or marine park. Are the animals viewed as assets of the institution where they live?

But I digress. Based on the article, here are a few points that could challenge your claims that Muslim women are happier than Western women:

• The study focuses on a small sample of women in Saudi Arabia and does not compare their happiness with that of women from Western countries. It only checked the happiness and mental health within the context of their demographics, socioeconomic status, ages, and marital status.
• The paper suggests that happiness is inversely proportional to mental health issues such as somatic symptoms, anxiety, and depression.
• The study indicates that happiness is directly proportional to social dysfunction. It is up to your interpretation about whether Muslim countries are socially stable or dysfunctional.

I just spent a huge amount of my time reading this, but I believe the situation might reflect oppression. Sharia law, in some aspects, could be compared to oppressive systems like Jim Crow laws or dictatorship regimes as those in North Korea and Venezuela.

 

[bmp2cpm]

It's not rocket science...

Relationships fail because women cheat. Women cheat because the man stopped providing for the woman in some way.

Men provide resources to the woman. Resources are not just money. If a man's career is not going well, she will probably cheat. If a man continually does not spend time with her, she will cheat. If a man does not prioritize her family/friend gatherings, she will cheat. If a man does not support what is important to her, she will definitely cheat.

Women provide the physical intimacy. If a woman stops providing the physical intimacy, he will cheat. Women stop providing the physical when the man is not providing his resources to her.

Look at men who post that they discovered their woman cheated. At least 70% of the time, the guy mentions how he had career difficulties, money problems, or they had to move to the middle of nowhere because he couldn't get a job elsewhere. This kind of stuff is a BIG deal to women.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Most relationships fail because western society does not promote long-term relationships . For example, most relationships in Muslim countries that promotes families/relationships do not fail. Even in countries that are not Muslim, but support long-term relationships, they are doing better than the West with respect to marriage, etc.

That’s because it’s marriage, and Muslims aren’t gynocentric or silly enough to allow women full ownership of the sexual market (eg, incentivized, no-fault divorce). When and if society gets another go-around, the construct of “relationship” might have to be abolished.

Likely the only doofuses worldwide to spoil women so much that men have to become ever-“improving” cyborgs to get them are white men and East Asian men (not a coincidence that both have diminished birthrates).

There are no “girlfriends” in Islam.

Men provide resources to the woman. Resources are not just money. If a man's career is not going well, she will probably cheat. If a man continually does not spend time with her, she will cheat. If a man does not prioritize her family/friend gatherings, she will cheat. If a man does not support what is important to her, she will definitely cheat.

Did Will Smith, Tom Brady, Brad Pitt, and Ben Affleck provide enough?

Read: Rotating Polyandry and Its Enforcers. What you said is true, but in many cases women cheat because they are “bored” with resource providers, sometimes with men that don’t provide much besides slinging d*ck and don’t give a rat’s @ss about them.

Women have the sexual market of today in a chokehold.

Four parts. Here’s the first.

 

[Clockwerk50]

That’s because it’s marriage, and Muslims aren’t gynocentric or silly enough to allow women full ownership of the sexual market (eg, incentivized, no-fault divorce). When and if society gets another go-around, the construct of “relationship” might have to be abolished.

Likely the only doofuses worldwide to spoil women so much that men have to become ever-“improving” cyborgs to get them are white men and East Asian men (not a coincidence that both have diminished birthrates).

There are no “girlfriends” in Islam.


Did Will Smith, Tom Brady, Brad Pitt, and Ben Affleck provide enough?

Read: Rotating Polyandry and Its Enforcers. What you said is true, but in many cases women cheat because they are “bored” with resource providers, sometimes with men that don’t provide much besides slinging d*ck and don’t give a rat’s @ss about them.

Women have the sexual market of today in a chokehold.

Four parts. Here’s the first.

The lemurs’ females also have their sexual market on lock. They are looking for the best scented male to fight off disease and parasite for their offspring.

Sarcasm aside, your post gives me the impression that men that are getting laid should be sympathetic towards the ones that don’t.

 

[Vanderdonck]

For example, most relationships in Muslim countries that promotes families/relationships do not fail.

Threat of death will keep things humming along.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

But yet, study after study... the majority of Muslim women are happier than western women. 100 years ago in the USA when women did not have the vote, the majority of USA women were also happier. Why is that?

Do women just like to be treated like "zoo animals"? Also, I'm not sure if most Muslim men would consider their wives as "zoo animals"; or their daughters and nieces as "zoo animals".. But whatever, you be you.. sounds like xenophobic if you ask me though.

The Relationship between Happiness and Mental Health among Saudi Women - PMC

The happiness and mental health of individuals are crucial for national developments. In Saudi Arabia, wellbeing occupies a central position in Vision 2030, along with women’s empowerment. Rapidly changing rights and responsibilities might result in ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

There are other studies, but they are buried - it doesn't fit the western narrative. I remember a researcher gathering data about women in Afghanistan when the USA was about to leave. He came to the same conclusion. Heck, walk about London or many other western cities. You will find on average, Muslim women do not want to covert to the "sex in the city" lifestyle even when given the chance. They still wear head scarfs and traditional coverings. I dare you to go up to then and ask them why they still wear the tradition head dress.. Why they still want to be treated like "zoo animals" That would be a fun youtube video hahahahaha

Are they? Or are they simply more reluctant to say otherwise and afraid their husbands would beat them or disown them?

Also, happiness can be a function of what you have available to you. If you don't know anything else, how can you compare what you would be more happy with?

A poor person might be happy to have two shoes even if they have holes in them and are falling apart... it's better than having to be barefoot.

But a person who has money would be appalled and throw them out.

Trying to "compare" happiness is futile because most of the the time you don't have any comparison to other options for the people.

Only when the person has lived various lifestyles for a period of time and can make a valid comparison between them would this be meaningful and the amount of people who have done this is extremely small meaning it would likely still be meaningless due to sample size.

 

[jhonny9546]

Look at men who post that they discovered their woman cheated. At least 70% of the time, the guy mentions how he had career difficulties, money problems, or they had to move to the middle of nowhere because he couldn't get a job elsewhere. This kind of stuff is a BIG deal to women.

What about women who still cheat even if the man is providing her with everything she needs?

Could that just be a change in "status" in her eyes? Maybe she had that old friend whom she kept in her "categories," and now he has a higher status than you. As a result, she starts to act like a "difficult" person and does strange things that will push your limits and values—not to see how you respond, but simply because she wants you out so she can secure the other man.

This is what happened to a male friend of mine, who, over time, became ugly. After 6 years of LTR, his woman started to seek out her older childhood friends, who had the so-called "ugly duckling glow" and an increase in status. More than that, she cheated on him once, but he forgave her and kept the relationship.

This situation illustrates how vulnerable a man can be. We all can feel this way, as sometimes we become so "weak" for our women because we know there is an emotional connection and past experiences that enrich our lives. However, that is not the case when it comes to hypergamy.

Given this, in Italy, it is very common to see relationships where the woman is referred to as the "general," dictating what needs to be done at times, while the man still maintains his value and limits. It's not necessarily a beta situation? He has alpha characteristics but also gives her space to express herself, especially when she is stressed or experiencing an emotional outburst.

How do you view these kinds of relationships? They seem to be the norm in Italy, especially for those that last. However, my grandfather's long-term relationship was quite different; he was the great commander, and my grandmother did everything he commanded, but we are talking of 80 years ago

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What about women who still cheat even if the man is providing her with everything she needs?

You're confused with the providers who give her everything she wants.

The person she doesn't cheat on is the one who gives her what she needs, not what she wants.