Do you think this is an overeaction or have I missed something ?

[The Duke]

There are a lot of guys out there that push for sex and are direct about it. Its a huge turn off for a woman coming from a guy she doesn't even know. Although your comment wasn't horrible, it's the guys before you that have raised her guard and caused her to be defensive. I'd refrain from saying things like that so early.

 

[Divorced w 3]

There are a lot of guys out there that push for sex and are direct about it. Its a huge turn off for a woman coming from a guy she doesn't even know. Although your comment wasn't horrible, it's the guys before you that have raised her guard and caused her to be defensive. I'd refrain from saying things like that so early.

I would say it’s a turn off for most but not all women. Depends what the motive is and the method in which he conveys it. Certainly should at least shoot this shot verbally. Mode One definitely works, as long as it’s understood that you’re intentionally weeding women out fast and furiously

 

[Bingo-Player]

There are a lot of guys out there that push for sex and are direct about it. Its a huge turn off for a woman coming from a guy she doesn't even know. Although your comment wasn't horrible, it's the guys before you that have raised her guard and caused her to be defensive. I'd refrain from saying things like that so early.

I agree was a dumb move from me and not one I would be rushing to make again

She's clearly operating a zero tolerance policy with men which is fine I do kind of respect that

But I also think that at 34 years of age a woman and wanting to settle down could perhaps be slightly more open minded

She could have played it differently with a simple " lets not rush things " and tested if I took the hint ( which I would have )

 

[Bokanovsky]

Yea I can also see this angle and it was a novice move from me to directly reference sex in this manner , I usually insinuate and use innuendo which works much better

I don't think you necessarily did anything wrong. From your description, it sounds like the chick was a dead end anyway.

I would have been tempted to respond to that ridiculous sh!t test with "no, just dumbass vibes".

 

[The Duke]

I agree was a dumb move from me and not one I would be rushing to make again

She's clearly operating a zero tolerance policy with men which is fine I do kind of respect that

But I also think that at 34 years of age a woman and wanting to settle down could perhaps be slightly more open minded

She could have played it differently with a simple " lets not rush things " and tested if I took the hint ( which I would have )

I agree, and she will lose some solid guys because of it. Solid guys have standards too and will be turned off and find someone else to pursue.

A girl with lots of options is looking for any excuse to thin her pool of prospects. She doesn't have to play by anyone's rules but her own. She was simply too rigid.

I think you dodged a bullet. Her bad ass comment was weird. I don't even get it. My Spidey senses tell me this one has made some bad choices in the men she selected before. Now her defensive mechanisms are ultra high.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've never had women bring up that topic first. They can flirt but never about sex itself.
I guess if I was Brad Pitt maybe they would have?

I've had them bring it up quite a bit actually. Depends how they are feeling about you and how they see you as well.

 

[Rainman4707]

In my experience, best not to mention sex early on with a woman. They don't like it.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

She said I seemed like a bad boy and Eventually she asks me " did she give me badass vibes "

This is really awkwardly phrased and could be interpreted in multiple ways, but I would either have told her to clarify what she's asking or would tease her with "Badass, no. But you might have a naughty side." Not hinting too quickly to sex, but rather turning the date into something exciting. An adventure.

 

[Bingo-Player]

This is really awkwardly phrased and could be interpreted in multiple ways, but I would either have told her to clarify what she's asking or would tease her with "Badass, no. But you might have a naughty side." Not hinting too quickly to sex, but rather turning the date into something exciting. An adventure.

This ship has long since sailed

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This ship has long since sailed

Sorry, I cannot keep up with your myriad conquests.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Met a chick last week we hit it off , there were some signs she could be high maintenance but I took her number anyway

Text her the next day she responds with a voice note within 30 mins commending me for my opening message

we continue chatting over voice note and I ask her out , she asks If I am free for coffee (Sunday) I say sure I can make that work

Later Friday evening I get a voice note from her saying she may have forgotten to tell me she's travelling to Europe for a few months with work and would I still want to meet her.....

I said we can still grab a coffee as things aren't that serious yet

She proceeds to keep messaging me that evening asking things about me , bit of flirty banter etc

She said I seemed like a bad boy and Eventually she asks me " did she give me badass vibes "

Was a random question and i wasn't totally sure what she was inferring .............but I just said yea kind of and I thought the sex between us could be wild

She then ghosted me for 2 days and proceeded to text me this morning ( Sunday ) saying she didn't want to meet because the sex comment made her feel uncomfortable

I just said no worries , was a bit confused with your own comments good luck .

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TLDR :

This is a 34 year old woman talking to a 32 year old man and seemed to take extreme offence to a throwaway comment about sex

If I had said something like " yea and bet you be a badass at anal too " I'd sort of understand it made her uncomfortable

But since when did talking about sex become such a sensitive topic it's 2024 haha

Is this an extreme overreaction by her am I being emotionally insensitive to the female mind ?

Normally I would just shrug it off as standard female emotional instability but this chick didn't give me that impression , it seemed like she was genuinely offended I had dared to mention sex with her despite us both being in our 30's

Bizarre

Late to the thread here, obviously.

My take: this requires zero analysis. You said something that turned her off. That’s it. She’s not your wife, and wasn’t going to be that or the mother of your kids.

While I don’t think all is fair in love and war, I believe all is fair in pumping and dumping.