How do you guys avoid getting attached?

[Hamurabimbi]

Bounce as soon as you get the Feels.

 

[DJ Novice]

Bounce as soon as you get bored with sleeping with them. Even a 10 will become boring in bed eventually. Hedonic adaptation is almost never beaten. We all want what we currently don’t have. The crave for variety through different women can almost never be satisfied for most guys.

 

[BaronOfHair]

He had zero fear because he had almost no rejection or anything that would spark a negative feedback loop

Unless this fella is a machine sent from the future to our present day, like so

he almost certainly DOES experience fear, just like the rest of us humans. The OP's description suggests that this guy is among the 5-10% who's done the sometimes gritty and uncomfortable work of learning to not constantly be overrun by his emotions

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Date more women

 

[pipeman84]

Edit: I know these women are not good for me based on their behavior (promiscuity) but psychologically I am catching myself ignoring that and still liking these women because everything else about them is great.

If they're sluts then it can't be that everything else about them is great. That's an oxymoron.

Is it something where I need to get heartbroken or run through a lot more women so that I don't get as easily attached? Is it because I have scarcity mindset?

Nah, I don't think it's about scarcity mindset, more like a 'lack of logic' mindset.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Bounce as soon as you get bored with sleeping with them. Even a 10 will become boring in bed eventually. Hedonic adaptation is almost never beaten. We all want what we currently don’t have. The crave for variety through different women can almost never be satisfied for most guys.

I disagree. My ex-wife & I were together 10+ years. Her body was hot & it always got me horny. And she was, literally, the best fvcker I was ever with. We didn’t split up because of sfx.

 

[itouchyou]

Absolutely, as is the case with sub-8 guys such as yourself that doesn't have that many options as the chad/chadlites and therefore also have actual scarcity.

He had zero fear because he had almost no rejection or anything that would spark a negative feedback loop. He sounds like a charasmatic Chad by the sounds of it. How do you have such a friend without feeling bad or miserable all the time by seeing the extreme raw difference in how good quality women are virtually throwing themselves on to him and making it easy for him if he does make a move while you have to settle with being "attached"? You must envy this guy for having such a pull.

But in a nutshell, it sucks for you since you are sub-8 and not in the same zone as your friend. But it also shows that even if you had a girlfriend with someone of these women, they sound like they would cheat on you with a guy like him in a heartbeat, lol! You would really want to be attached with a woman like that? At least make sure he is not in the same social circle to deal with the same women you are dealing with so it doesn't get as nasty.

I think you just have to come to terms that life sucks (ie in the ladies department) as a sub-8 (and even worst as a sub-5), you will get attached, and have a so what attitude about it. Hopefully you will be attached to the right woman that will add value to your life.

Unless this fella is a machine sent from the future to our present day, like so

he almost certainly DOES experience fear, just like the rest of us humans. The OP's description suggests that this guy is among the 5-10% who's done the sometimes gritty and uncomfortable work of learning to not constantly be overrun by his emotions

I have seen him approach several times.

One time we we were walking and ran into this girl that he had just met a while back. He barely knew her. I was silent, and he lead the conversation. It was like watching Jesus turn water into wine - this guy never stuttered, always had something interesting to say, and was insanely good at building rapport. He was more smooth than people like Paul Janka, it was ridiculous to watch. That was the first time I saw him do it, and mentally, my jaw was on the floor.

I've also seen him get rejected many times. Some girl at a hookah bar who was pretty attractive just straight up ignored him, some girl sitting in front of us at the bus pretty much ignored him, girl at the library ignored him, etc. He just seemed to not care at all.

His confidence was on an entirely different level. I think he was afraid, it's just that he used his fear to his advantage and did it anyways. He didn't grow up good looking either, he had to cut down 100lbs or so near the end of high school and then bulk up in college to get to his end weight.

This was 10+ years ago before a lot of game material was mainstream, I don't think he ever read anything like that, guy learned everything from experiencing it in real life.

 

[anonymous12345]

This was 10+ years ago before a lot of game material was mainstream, I don't think he ever read anything like that, guy learned everything from experiencing it in real life.

Right. Water is wet. The (actual) Don Juan didn't read about game. What I'm saying is some men are good, while others (might) get to that point, today with the help of the game material.

I did that somewhat with the help of material, and am now essentially 17 in an actual old age. Some are the same, but actually 17 years old. Guess what the girls say.

 

[BaronOfHair]

One time we we were walking and ran into this girl that he had just met a while back. He barely knew her. I was silent, and he lead the conversation. It was like watching Jesus turn water into wine - this guy never stuttered, always had something interesting to say, and was insanely good at building rapport. He was more smooth than people like Paul Janka, it was ridiculous to watch. That was the first time I saw him do it, and mentally, my jaw was on the floor.

I've also seen him get rejected many times. Some girl at a hookah bar who was pretty attractive just straight up ignored him, some girl sitting in front of us at the bus pretty much ignored him, girl at the library ignored him, etc. He just seemed to not care at all.

His confidence was on an entirely different level. I think he was afraid, it's just that he used his fear to his advantage and did it anyways. He didn't grow up good looking either, he had to cut down 80lbs or so near the end of high school and then bulk up in college to get to his end weight.

This was 10+ years ago before a lot of game material was mainstream, I don't think he ever read anything like that, guy learned everything from experiencing it in real life.

This website existed 10+ years ago, and pre-woke Askmen https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-ways-to-become-a-better-man_2.html regularly discussing this stuff, even releasing a book on the subject https://www.amazon.com/AskMen-com-Presents-Bar-Bedroom-Pleasuring/dp/0061208523 Undateable https://www.amazon.com/Undateable-Things-Guarantee-Dating-Having/dp/034552067X was also released well over 10 years ago

Hell, as mentioned here https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/rationale-male-players-handbook.282121/#post-3116512 none of what we today refer to ad Red Pill Knowledge is remotely new

I bring this up to point out that this fella you mention almost certainly DID consume heavy doses of self-development literature, and devote himself to applying what he learned. That never stuttering, always having something interesting to say, and building rapport are all proficiencies MOST men have to acquire, just as most of us have to tax our brains substantially to understand the intracacies of evolutionary biology and the like

The number of people on who are "naturals" at this stuff are in single digits

 

[itouchyou]

This website existed 10+ years ago, and pre-woke Askmen https://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-ways-to-become-a-better-man_2.html regularly discussing this stuff, even releasing a book on the subject https://www.amazon.com/AskMen-com-Presents-Bar-Bedroom-Pleasuring/dp/0061208523 Undateable https://www.amazon.com/Undateable-Things-Guarantee-Dating-Having/dp/034552067X was also released well over 10 years ago

Hell, as mentioned here https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/rationale-male-players-handbook.282121/#post-3116512 none of what we today refer to ad Red Pill Knowledge is remotely new

I bring this up to point out that this fella you mention almost certainly DID consume heavy doses of self-development literature, and devote himself to applying what he learned. That never stuttering, always having something interesting to say, and building rapport are all proficiencies MOST men have to acquire, just as most of us have to tax our brains substantially to understand the intracacies of evolutionary biology and the like

The number of people on who are "naturals" at this stuff are in single digits

Nah, this guy was a natural. I lived with him, we had all the same courses, he never spent time online. He would read books, but they would be heavy books like Machiavelli, business related books, etc. He was the type of guy who knew everyone. He definitely wasn't the type of person to post on internet forums asking for advice.

Even when I asked about how he got his physique, his entire thing was going up to people at the gym and asking them questions, he just got all his advice from networking and learning from people smarter than him.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Nah, this guy was a natural. I lived with him, we had all the same courses, he never spent time online. He would read books, but they would be heavy books like Machiavelli, business related books, etc

I take it you also monitored and documented how many times he hit the crapper each day

 

[itouchyou]

I take it you also monitored and documented how many times he hit the crapper each day

why is it so hard for you to believe that not all men learn game from reading stuff online? your insecurity is showing.

imagine the varsity football captain who gets the hottest cheerleader, coming onto this forum for advice.. lmao.

 

[BaronOfHair]

why is it so hard for you to believe that not all men learn game from reading stuff online?

Just as the occasional Eddie Murphy(Who could easily command an amphitheater at 20)arises among comics, there are a smattering of men out there who really are naturals. That ain't representative of most of us though

Just as most stand-up comics have to put an immense amount of effort into their craft in order to succeed, most men have to read, listen to, and practice every ounce of material on becoming attractive that we can find, if we're to succeed

 

[corrector]

I have seen him approach several times.

One time we we were walking and ran into this girl that he had just met a while back. He barely knew her. I was silent, and he lead the conversation. It was like watching Jesus turn water into wine - this guy never stuttered, always had something interesting to say, and was insanely good at building rapport. He was more smooth than people like Paul Janka, it was ridiculous to watch. That was the first time I saw him do it, and mentally, my jaw was on the floor.

I've also seen him get rejected many times. Some girl at a hookah bar who was pretty attractive just straight up ignored him, some girl sitting in front of us at the bus pretty much ignored him, girl at the library ignored him, etc. He just seemed to not care at all.

His confidence was on an entirely different level. I think he was afraid, it's just that he used his fear to his advantage and did it anyways. He didn't grow up good looking either, he had to cut down 100lbs or so near the end of high school and then bulk up in college to get to his end weight.

This was 10+ years ago before a lot of game material was mainstream, I don't think he ever read anything like that, guy learned everything from experiencing it in real life.

Thanks for clarifying this. It's important that we don't have too much of a cartoonish character in our heads about some of these people otherwise it becomes easy to get blackpilled and just dismiss everything. It does sound like the best investment one can make to get into the zone is to gymmax/looksmax and of course. Also the importance of making moves and shooting the shot/taking action.

That being said, have you looksmaxxed/gymmaxxed like your friend, seeing that has worked for him?

 

[itouchyou]

Thanks for clarifying this. It's important that we don't have too much of a cartoonish character in our heads about some of these people otherwise it becomes easy to get blackpilled and just dismiss everything. It does sound like the best investment one can make to get into the zone is to gymmax/looksmax and of course. Also the importance of making moves and shooting the shot/taking action.

That being said, have you looksmaxxed/gymmaxxed like your friend, seeing that has worked for him?

I did. The greatest redpill of my life was that looks make an insane difference for guys. Most of my life, I was invisible to women. When I got lean and really took care of myself, it was like being a celebrity. Tons of attention, women being extra nice, dates were ridiculously easy to escalate.

Most of my life I thought I was weird or something was wrong with me.. nope. I just wasn't attractive enough.

Really made me think about how many guys out there born with good looks are in relationships or are otherwise leading happy romantic lives not knowing that if they weren't attractive, they'd probably be incel.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Pump and dump. All the chads do it.

 

[itouchyou]

Pump and dump. All the chads do it.

If the girls have good personalities though - why dump?

 

[corrector]

I did. The greatest redpill of my life was that looks make an insane difference for guys. Most of my life, I was invisible to women. When I got lean and really took care of myself, it was like being a celebrity. Tons of attention, women being extra nice, dates were ridiculously easy to escalate.

Most of my life I thought I was weird or something was wrong with me.. nope. I just wasn't attractive enough.

Really made me think about how many guys out there born with good looks are in relationships or are otherwise leading happy romantic lives not knowing that if they weren't attractive, they'd probably be incel.

Probably the most helpful post of this thread. It's good to hear incel to slayer stories on here.

Perhaps you have the best of both worlds. The way you were, when you are invisible, helps you to appreciate what you have right now, as you have that attraction or pull with the ladies. Maybe you can appreciate the personalities because it's your nature to do so and is something that you can uniquely see when you were invisible in the past that you missed out on. Now you want to make up for that lost time and get to know these women who have the personalities that you like...who would not have given you the time of day before.

Also, some people are relationship/LTR guys, other guys are pump and dump or chase type of guys, just like some guys are a$$ guys, and some like the boobs, etc.... If that's your nature and tastes then you should stay true to that. Maybe you are one of those relationship guys, especially with a past like that, so you would find better fulfillment in staying with someone to get a deeper connection with them then just be with different girls.

 

[Clockwerk50]

If the girls have good personalities though - why dump?

Because, just like your friend was doing, he was looking to have fun and not to get married. If he was having sex with women that were already in relationships then it means that he was interacting with people that were not relationship material.

There are 2 school of thoughts: The first one is that you can have a lot of short seductions and move quickly from conquest to conquest, in which at the end it can become tiresome. The second one is to have longer and better constructed relationships, in which it will decrease the amount of partners but can compensate in their quality.

 

[itouchyou]

Probably the most helpful post of this thread. It's good to hear incel to slayer stories on here.

Perhaps you have the best of both worlds. The way you were, when you are invisible, helps you to appreciate what you have right now, as you have that attraction or pull with the ladies. Maybe you can appreciate the personalities because it's your nature to do so and is something that you can uniquely see when you were invisible in the past that you missed out on. Now you want to make up for that lost time and get to know these women who have the personalities that you like...who would not have given you the time of day before.

Also, some people are relationship/LTR guys, other guys are pump and dump or chase type of guys, just like some guys are a$$ guys, and some like the boobs, etc.... If that's your nature and tastes then you should stay true to that. Maybe you are one of those relationship guys, especially with a past like that, so you would find better fulfillment in staying with someone to get a deeper connection with them then just be with different girls.

Very insightful. Based off my looks at the time I could've been a slayer and you're right about the incel -> slayer path I took, but honestly I didn't bang the women I dated. I wanted an actual relationship, but if I wanted to smash a lot, I could've. I think the validation of knowing I could do it was enough for me.

I really like how you put it, every guy is different, and yea I appreciate women more than guys who have been smashing at a young age because I didn't have that experience.