I live in London. In theory it should be a paradise because it is full of attractive single unmarried women in their 30s and 40s who earn good money and can therefore invest in their beauty and health and fitness etc.
In practice everyone suffers from the illusion of choice, most people are so busy they rely on dating apps, and in a big city an attractive woman will easily get thousands of likes a day and catching her attention let alone holding it is very difficult. Single women also have networks of girlfriends they brunch with, go for drinks with, and can therefore happily be single while holding out for someone who meets their ridiculously high standards.
And these dating apps are a nightmare because it is like a deck of cards unless you are close to the top of the pack your profile won't even be shown to most women and so once the new user boost or the upgrade boost wears off the matches become more and more sporadic. You can reset your profile but they are cracking down on that and they are also ban-happy so you don't want to get on their bad side.
I have a job that allows me to work mostly remote so was thinking of trying my luck in a smaller city. Of course in these places most women in their 30s and 40s are either married or single mothers. But if the dating pool is a lot smaller it might actually be a good thing. If women know they do not have unlimited choices and by virtue of the smaller dating pool get far fewer matches a week then they are likely to consider each potential match more carefully and make more of an effort. I remember in the old days when online dating was fairly niche although the quality was a bit lower you didn't get ghosting or flaking to the same degree you get on the modern dating apps.
Another factor is that in a smaller city you are less anonymous so that encourages good behaviour and discourages ghosting and generally people are friendlier.
Also in these kind of places people are a bit more old fashioned so still go out to the pub and do more social activities outside work because the work/life balance is better. And people are more relationship oriented because serial dating is less of an option in a smaller dating pool. And when most people you know are in relationships or have families you naturally want that too. Whereas in a big city when all your girlfriends are single serial daters you become that too.
And as my interest these days is more in serial monogamy that might be better for me.
Also I am almost 40 and I am fed up of the high cost of living in a big city. So a slower pace of life with access to more outdoor activities might suit me well and instead of always having to take girls to bars and restaurants I can do something more fun like a hike or a swim or something like that.
Anyone else done anything similar in the 2nd half of life and how did it work out for you? Or any 40 year olds in smaller cities having a good love life?
In practice everyone suffers from the illusion of choice, most people are so busy they rely on dating apps, and in a big city an attractive woman will easily get thousands of likes a day and catching her attention let alone holding it is very difficult. Single women also have networks of girlfriends they brunch with, go for drinks with, and can therefore happily be single while holding out for someone who meets their ridiculously high standards.
And these dating apps are a nightmare because it is like a deck of cards unless you are close to the top of the pack your profile won't even be shown to most women and so once the new user boost or the upgrade boost wears off the matches become more and more sporadic. You can reset your profile but they are cracking down on that and they are also ban-happy so you don't want to get on their bad side.
I have a job that allows me to work mostly remote so was thinking of trying my luck in a smaller city. Of course in these places most women in their 30s and 40s are either married or single mothers. But if the dating pool is a lot smaller it might actually be a good thing. If women know they do not have unlimited choices and by virtue of the smaller dating pool get far fewer matches a week then they are likely to consider each potential match more carefully and make more of an effort. I remember in the old days when online dating was fairly niche although the quality was a bit lower you didn't get ghosting or flaking to the same degree you get on the modern dating apps.
Another factor is that in a smaller city you are less anonymous so that encourages good behaviour and discourages ghosting and generally people are friendlier.
Also in these kind of places people are a bit more old fashioned so still go out to the pub and do more social activities outside work because the work/life balance is better. And people are more relationship oriented because serial dating is less of an option in a smaller dating pool. And when most people you know are in relationships or have families you naturally want that too. Whereas in a big city when all your girlfriends are single serial daters you become that too.
And as my interest these days is more in serial monogamy that might be better for me.
Also I am almost 40 and I am fed up of the high cost of living in a big city. So a slower pace of life with access to more outdoor activities might suit me well and instead of always having to take girls to bars and restaurants I can do something more fun like a hike or a swim or something like that.
Anyone else done anything similar in the 2nd half of life and how did it work out for you? Or any 40 year olds in smaller cities having a good love life?
