my female next door neighbor

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Ask yout neighbor to grab a coffee with you nearby. Somewhere you can walk to preferably.

"I'm gonna walk over to the coffee shop & get some coffee. Wanna go?"

See how easy that is?

If she declines then ask if she wants to go some other time. If she says anything other than yes (maybe, no, I'll think about it), then she's NOT interested and she turned you down for a cup of coffee, not hanging at your place & sex. Much easier to accept that.

But the guys are correct. You are going to have to ask women out if you want to go out with one. That's the law of the jungle.

 

[TheGambino]

The escort is warming up your ear. She is basically making you feel like a king and telling you everything you want to hear so that you can book her again. From the information provided, it is hard to tell if the Rebecca chick likes you.

However, Rebecca seeing you with another girl gave you pre-selection and social status. If you ever have the balls to ask her out, you have to have your logistics in place and escalate all the way. Try to make it a ONS. No sissy **** here. I think this is the only play.

All you need to know

 

[Clockwerk50]

It isn't the asking out itself that would make me feel like an idiot.

Getting rejected by a woman I thought was into me would make me feel like an idiot (because it would be yet another case where I misread a woman). When you have a track record of misreading women, you end up feeling like an idiot if it happens even one more time.

And I have a lot to lose: If rejected, I'd have to deal with the awkwardness/idiocy feeling every time I run into her (Plus, how embarrassing to get turned down by a woman 2 decades older than you. Imagine if word were to get out; the rest of my neighbors would know me as that creep who got rejected by an old lady)

You got to finesse it. It is part of your personality to ask women out, be charming, sociable, and positive. If not pretend to be.

If you come off as creepy, negative, awkward, and not authentic then you will push her away and make the situation weird. If you are not the above there is ton of material here to help you out.

I guess make it look like you don’t go to escorts and actually hang out with real women in real life lol

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Getting rejected by a woman I thought was into me would make me feel like an idiot (because it would be yet another case where I misread a woman). When you have a track record of misreading women, you end up feeling like an idiot if it happens even one more time.

A) You cannot help being attracted to someone who doesn't reciprocate, so a 'rejection' is always there.
B) Don't 'ask her out' but go somewhere interesting and ask her if she cares to join you. Something like "I found this great coffee bar on X street, you want to join me?" "There's an open air concert in X park. You want to join me?" That way, if she doesn't want to join you, you're not 'rejected'. If she doesn't want to join you when you suggest something again, you can take her for 'low interest' and keep looking around for other women.
C) Don't get close to women who treat sex as a commodity.

 

[corrector]

Advice from the old lady:

Ask yout neighbor to grab a coffee with you nearby. Somewhere you can walk to preferably.

"I'm gonna walk over to the coffee shop & get some coffee. Wanna go?"

See how easy that is?

If she declines then ask if she wants to go some other time. If she says anything other than yes (maybe, no, I'll think about it), then she's NOT interested and she turned you down for a cup of coffee, not hanging at your place & sex. Much easier to accept that.

But the guys are correct. You are going to have to ask women out if you want to go out with one. That's the law of the jungle.

If a woman turns you down for anything then it is going to be awkard.

When I asked out a lady at work, it was to visit a Museum of Illusions (ie a place I visited the month after with another group of people so I did not ultimately need her to visit that place with someone). It was not for sex or hanging out in a way that implies sex. Things are still akward as hell afterwards.

It's going to go akward no matter what she turns him down for.

 

[GoodMan32]

Advice from the old lady:

Ask yout neighbor to grab a coffee with you nearby. Somewhere you can walk to preferably.

"I'm gonna walk over to the coffee shop & get some coffee. Wanna go?"

See how easy that is?

If she declines then ask if she wants to go some other time. If she says anything other than yes (maybe, no, I'll think about it), then she's NOT interested and she turned you down for a cup of coffee, not hanging at your place & sex. Much easier to accept that.

But the guys are correct. You are going to have to ask women out if you want to go out with one. That's the law of the jungle.

It is more socially acceptable for a woman to ask a man out today compared to the 1950s. And it certainly happens sometimes today (so it is possible). Overall though, you're generally right (the man generally has to make the move).

Unfortunately, the stakes are way too high when it's a neighbor, coworker, or customer (I say "customer" because there were some female customers I might have had a chance with when I worked in stores).

With a neighbor, coworker, or customer, there's no wiggle room for error. You have to be 100% sure she's into you before asking her out, or else the consequences could be severe for you.

 

[GoodMan32]

You got to finesse it. It is part of your personality to ask women out, be charming, sociable, and positive. If not pretend to be.

If you come off as creepy, negative, awkward, and not authentic then you will push her away and make the situation weird. If you are not the above there is ton of material here to help you out.

I guess make it look like you don’t go to escorts and actually hang out with real women in real life lol

I'm on the spectrum.

A garden variety socially awkward man might be able to fudge his way into making the woman think he's an alpha.

When you're on the spectrum, on the other hand, that's a totally different ballgame. When a man on the spectrum tries to act bold, he comes across as Jeffrey Dahmer (I even had a woman compare me to him back when I was 23)

 

[GoodMan32]

A) You cannot help being attracted to someone who doesn't reciprocate, so a 'rejection' is always there.
B) Don't 'ask her out' but go somewhere interesting and ask her if she cares to join you. Something like "I found this great coffee bar on X street, you want to join me?" "There's an open air concert in X park. You want to join me?" That way, if she doesn't want to join you, you're not 'rejected'. If she doesn't want to join you when you suggest something again, you can take her for 'low interest' and keep looking around for other women.
C) Don't get close to women who treat sex as a commodity.

Inviting her to a concert or coffee bar could still meet the criteria of "asking out."

You're right, I can't help who I'm attracted to. Being attracted to a woman who isn't attracted to you (but never asking her out) isn't a rejection. Because you never gave her a chance to officially reject you.

 

[corrector]

With a neighbor, coworker, or customer, there's no wiggle room for error. You have to be 100% sure she's into you before asking her out, or else the consequences could be severe for you.

...or if they are not severe, it could make things very awkward. In my case, we were in contact after she rejected me. However, I stopped talking to her or looking at her completely when I saw how she was really into another guy and guy-envy took over and I wanted to have nothing to do with her. After a while of being like that she started acting up too. Like we are both not talking to each other. Even when I don't see those two characters together anymore, it's like it's still whatever, we are not talking to each other.

However, if you look at reddit threads, there are more severe consequences that are directly related to asking a co-worker out. However with me, getting amogged is like a kick to the gut.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Inviting her to a concert or coffee bar could still meet the criteria of "asking out."

No. You're going to the concert / coffee bar anyway. She can join you. Or not. No biggie.

You're right, I can't help who I'm attracted to. Being attracted to a woman who isn't attracted to you (but never asking her out) isn't a rejection. Because you never gave her a chance to officially reject you.

Sounds like you're looking for any excuse not to try. Good luck with that.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I've mentioned before on here that I'm on the spectrum. As a result, it's practically impossible for me to tell whether a woman is into me (unless she does something super obvious like grabbing my crotch).

While being on the spectrum obviously puts me in a worse position than the typical guy, I've heard about other men (neurotypical men) who also have a hard time deciphering a woman's clues. No matter how obvious a woman thinks she's being, men (a lot of men at least) won't necessarily pick up on it. Men are simple creatures; we need it spelled out for us.

There have been instances where I was convinced a woman was into me, I shot my shot, only to find out she's "only being nice." I then end up feeling like the world's biggest idiot (I never want to be in that position again).

On the flipside, I guarantee the reverse has happened too (woman is genuinely into me, yet I never make a move because I think she's "only being nice"), which reiterates my point about how a woman needs to be more direct.

Which reiterates why you should go mode 1 with all of them

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If a woman turns you down for anything then it is going to be awkard.

When I asked out a lady at work, it was to visit a Museum of Illusions (ie a place I visited the month after with another group of people so I did not ultimately need her to visit that place with someone). It was not for sex or hanging out in a way that implies sex. Things are still akward as hell afterwards.

It's going to go akward no matter what she turns him down for.

You've made them awkward because you are awkward. The situation itself is not awkward. You have decided it should be and so it is.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It is more socially acceptable for a woman to ask a man out today compared to the 1950s. And it certainly happens sometimes today (so it is possible). Overall though, you're generally right (the man generally has to make the move).

Unfortunately, the stakes are way too high when it's a neighbor, coworker, or customer (I say "customer" because there were some female customers I might have had a chance with when I worked in stores).

With a neighbor, coworker, or customer, there's no wiggle room for error. You have to be 100% sure she's into you before asking her out, or else the consequences could be severe for you.

Like what? Is your neighbor going to evict you?

 

[corrector]

You've made them awkward because you are awkward. The situation itself is not awkward. You have decided it should be and so it is.

Exactly. But it doesn't have to be for the OP.

 

[GoodMan32]

...or if they are not severe, it could make things very awkward. In my case, we were in contact after she rejected me. However, I stopped talking to her or looking at her completely when I saw how she was really into another guy and guy-envy took over and I wanted to have nothing to do with her. After a while of being like that she started acting up too. Like we are both not talking to each other. Even when I don't see those two characters together anymore, it's like it's still whatever, we are not talking to each other.

However, if you look at reddit threads, there are more severe consequences that are directly related to asking a co-worker out. However with me, getting amogged is like a kick to the gut.

Yeah. There's always the risk of HR getting involved. And obviously the woman's word will get taken more seriously.

 

[GoodMan32]

Like what? Is your neighbor going to evict you?

There's the awkwardness of having to run into her. Additionally, as I mentioned on a previous post, word could spread. My other neighbors, if word gets out, will view me as "that creep who got turned down by an old lady" (Neighbors would think "For a good-looking guy in his early 30s to get turned down by an old lady, there must be something severely wrong with him").

As for getting thrown out of my building, I hadn't even thought of that. That's a possibility too. She could complain to the building's management that it makes her uncomfortable to cross paths with me ever since I expressed interest in her. She might even claim I go out of my way to run into her more than I have to. In the era of new age feminism, the man will automatically be viewed as the problem.

 

[GoodMan32]

Exactly. But it doesn't have to be for the OP.

Running into your neighbor you expressed interest in (but got turned down by) is awkward, especially with the age gap.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

There's the awkwardness of having to run into her. Additionally, as I mentioned on a previous post, word could spread. My other neighbors, if word gets out, will view me as "that creep who got turned down by an old lady" (Neighbors would think "For a good-looking guy in his early 30s to get turned down by an old lady, there must be something severely wrong with him").

Well, yes, there is something wrong with you. Your crippling anxiety makes you concoct scenarios that are absent in real life.

I guess you're too anxious to have a normal conversation with your neighbour, so I guess you should lock yourself into your apartment and not talk to anyone.

That way nobody will think you're weird.

 

[corrector]

Still think it is interesting that if you had an sexual encounter with an escort your mind would frame in a positive way because you dealt with a woman.

I did not a HR issue in my place of work.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I understand now why the red pill forums are so rude to their posters. When feedback and criticism is pointed out to a post, the original OP does everything possible to rationalize their decisions and it becomes a mental bukake session in the whole thread.

OP, what is the point of this post? If you are not willing to ask her out, if you are scared of rejection, if you like her but have an irrational fear of the consequences, if you do not have the skills necessary to do the normal thing, why does it matter what she thinks about you? everyone gave their opinions on this subject and you gave us your rationalization of why you cannot move forward. This is mental masturbation by now.

So what’s the point? At least the escort is getting $300 to get ****ed and give her opinion about the neighbor.