Feedback On Cold Approach

Fireflame

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30 year old African male living in Norway. I have done cold approach so far back at home and found some success.

But, here is liking playing on hard mode. I have gotten about 5-8 numbers from 60 cold approaches in 1.5 months and have gotten one response and a date and she isn’t even Norwegian, hahaha.

My cold approach goes like this, “You walk beautifully or compliment their coat, make a cold read on what they do and get their number”. That’s how it goes for me.

I don’t frequent clubs often so nightgame is out of the question. OLD is terrible there, people ghosting and playing games when you ask for a meet up or number.

All in all, the conclusion I have come to is that. Its a numbers game, Norwegians are not that open to cold approach so its hard mode here and I need to take a break because I think I have hit a limit for now and out of energy or enthusiasm.

I appreciate any feedbacks on how to improve my success rate to get bangs.
 

crowolf

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Don’t make it your goal to number close, but rather to have a good interaction and some (man-to-woman) connection that is only natural to continue afterwards.

You are probably exotic to their culture, which is both a positive, and a negative. But you are probably like that forbidden fruit for some women, so have that in mind when playing the numbers game.

Other than that, if you see for a long time that this is not the place for your sexual success, move elsewhere.
 

Fireflame

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Don’t make it your goal to number close, but rather to have a good interaction and some (man-to-woman) connection that is only natural to continue afterwards.

You are probably exotic to their culture, which is both a positive, and a negative. But you are probably like that forbidden fruit for some women, so have that in mind when playing the numbers game.

Other than that, if you see for a long time that this is not the place for your sexual success, move elsewhere.
This is what I have been thinking about for the past few days. Need to change my mindset from number close to is this woman sensible or cool to push things further? Might also be that this isn’t the country for me. But, I work here full time now so will have to make use of my situation.
 

BPH

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I would say nobody is really "open" to cold approaches if you're doing daygame.

Women are sober, have work, places to be, etc, and being stopped in the street by a random man with a pickup line doesn't feel organic; they didn't give you any IOIs hoping you'd come up to them, they're going about their day, they're likely sober, and many other reasons.

There's a big difference between a chance meeting with some cutie at the grocery store vs. walking up and down the same busy strip dropping pickup lines on any 7 or above.

Anyway, recommendations:
  1. Don't use canned lines like "you walk beautifully". Aside from being weird, it's generally much better to tell them up-front that you find them attractive, gauge their reaction, then adjust and have a conversation based on that. Number close if it feels good, but don't force it if she's trying to leave and you're throwing a Hail Mary.
  2. Start going out at night. The reason cold approaching during the day doesn't work as well as at night is because at night the people that are out at the bars and the clubs are there to meet and be around other people - the girlfriends and wives are all at home with their husbands, kids, or girlfriends having some sort of wine night. I don't know if your goal is to get laid, but women will be much more receptive at places like this where they EXPECT to be hit on. Combine that with a little alcohol to loosen everybody up and it'll be a much more natural interaction.
  3. OLD sucks. It is supplementary at best. Use it, expect nothing, and sometimes be pleasantly surprised.
The fact that you're African in a land of European white people likely does mean that you'll be outside of a lot of women's cultural norms, so you'll be rejected based on that. Conversely, if you're attractive and in good shape, there's an equal chance those same women might fetishize you. At that point, it depends on how you feel about it.
 

anonymous12345

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I'm struggling with cold approach as well, I'm in south of Sweden, in a non-international city. I've lived in Norway, I'd say that is just as hard, a bit easier in Oslo maybe.

I have an absolutely lousy conversion rate, literally about 1 in 1000 sech close from cold approach. OLD doesn't work for me despite pro photos and fake age.

I think it's important to remember that cold approach is the hardest, but something every man should be able to do, and hence train for. The recent weeks I have had very little approach anxiety/stress, and miss fewer and fewer girls I want to approach.

One danger with cold approach is that it's so taxing on your psyche, win/lose rate that your frame breaks. One needs to adjust for that, and have a perspective on it that is adequate for "surviving" it. I believe I now have, although I sometimes take a momentary hit from harsh attitude.
 

Fireflame

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I'm struggling with cold approach as well, I'm in south of Sweden, in a non-international city. I've lived in Norway, I'd say that is just as hard, a bit easier in Oslo maybe.

I have an absolutely lousy conversion rate, literally about 1 in 1000 sech close from cold approach. OLD doesn't work for me despite pro photos and fake age.

I think it's important to remember that cold approach is the hardest, but something every man should be able to do, and hence train for. The recent weeks I have had very little approach anxiety/stress, and miss fewer and fewer girls I want to approach.

One danger with cold approach is that it's so taxing on your psyche, win/lose rate that your frame breaks. One needs to adjust for that, and have a perspective on it that is adequate for "surviving" it. I believe I now have, although I sometimes take a momentary hit from harsh attitude.
I agree, especially, your frame taking a hit. But over this few days I have separated me taking a rejection to my value as a man. So, my attitude is much better now and I have reached a point I don’t care anymore. Because if you do it will drive you crazy how fickle these women are. So, I just do my thing. See a girl I like, approach, try getting her number, etc. I’m in the streets and on OLD. As a previous poster said, the country might not be right for me and I agree. I work full time here so I would have to make things happen until I get enough savings to move to another country. All in all, scandinavia is a hard place for cold approach especially if you are not native. But, we move forward.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Like the other responses say, look to have quality meetings over superficial outcomes.

You see someone interesting and you talk to them.
Perhaps they will expand your world.
They introduce you to a new scene.
You share a common hobby and engage in it together.
You make a new friend.

Friends are fluid.
They're not exclusive from romantic and intimate connections.
Isn't it more beautiful and fulfilling that way, anyhow?
Gaining meaning and community and belonging?
 

BPH

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Like the other responses say, look to have quality meetings over superficial outcomes.

You see someone interesting and you talk to them.
Perhaps they will expand your world.
They introduce you to a new scene.
You share a common hobby and engage in it together.
You make a new friend.

Friends are fluid.
They're not exclusive from romantic and intimate connections.
Isn't it more beautiful and fulfilling that way, anyhow?
Gaining meaning and community and belonging?
Bro...what are you on?
 

NorwegianDJ

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Bro...what are you on?
What's your problem?
I don't understand why you have to throw stray insults every now and then without ever backing them up?
What's your deal?

Don't like that we went different directions after you mention my name in the first sentence of your journal?

Communicate.
What did I say that provoked you?
Oh cool you can meet new people and they can become a part of your life. Wow.
Oh sweet you can have sex with your friends and a fulfilling life that nourishes you. Woaaah!
Do you need a dictionary? Would you like me to use simple words for your masculine man-brain?
F U, B.
 

SW15

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Don’t make it your goal to number close
I agree. The only reason to collect a phone number is after getting an agreement to a future date. Propose the idea for the date and specifics for it in person. It's easier to sell a woman on the idea of going on a date with you while she's with you in real life as compared to selling her on that idea behind an electronic smartphone screen.

There's a big difference between a chance meeting with some cutie at the grocery store vs. walking up and down the same busy strip dropping pickup lines on any 7 or above.
Yes, there is a difference.

In 2012, Roosh called street approaching the most difficult approach venue.


In some USA cities (mainly in the Sun Belt region), pure street game isn't even much of a possibility. These are car-centered cities and there are few (if any) good streets with enough foot traffic for doing approaches. The best USA cities for pure street game are the older, more pedestrian-centered cities such as New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and Chicago.

In Sun Belt cities like Dallas, Houston, Phoenix, and Nashville, the better "street" type alternative is urban path/park game. Doing approaches of a recreational walking path or at a park are also difficult too, though slightly easier than pure street game.

Doing dedicated approach sessions in a grocery store, mall, or bookstore is also inefficient. In a grocery store, a dedicated approach session means that the approacher will still go to the grocery store and buy some groceries, but the approacher will shop at a slower pace and linger around looking for approaches. In a mall or bookstore approach session, the approacher might not actually buy anything, but he will linger for an extended period in certain mall stores, the corridors between stores, or in a bookstore's aisles. I am someone who has done grocery store, mall, and bookstore approaches. All 3 are inefficient. Since I am reasonably good looking, most women I approach in these venues are not outright rude to me. I try to approach with IOIs but I have done plenty of approaches without an IOI. It's very possible to spend 2 hours on a weekend afternoon in a mall and not arrange any dates.

I'm not a very big proponent of the dedicated approach session. It's good to go to these venues and be open to approaching and an opportunity. Planning a portion of a day around an approach session is not a very good idea. However, it might be a better option than using a swipe app.

Start going out at night. The reason cold approaching during the day doesn't work as well as at night is because at night the people that are out at the bars and the clubs are there to meet and be around other people - the girlfriends and wives are all at home with their husbands, kids, or girlfriends having some sort of wine night. I don't know if your goal is to get laid, but women will be much more receptive at places like this where they EXPECT to be hit on. Combine that with a little alcohol to loosen everybody up and it'll be a much more natural interaction.
Nightlife venue approaching has its own downsides. Your point on this makes a lot of sense.

Non-bar approaching is inefficient but could result in a good girlfriend prospect. Nightlife approaching is a better tactic for fast, shorter term sex. It's somewhat difficult to find a longer term girlfriend out of nightlife venue approaching. If the goal is a longer term girlfriend, using nightlife venues for 5-8 PM weeknight happy hour approaching might be the better tactic. There will be fewer approach targets by doing this but it's possible to have more meaningful interactions that could lead to something more substantial.

A lot of this depends on goals.

There's another daygame venue that doesn't work as well as it probably should. That venue is gym fitness classes. Gym fitness classes are majority women and social expectation after a gym fitness class is reasonable. However, women don't seem very sociable after fitness classes, even weekend morning fitness classes when they probably don't have much to do immediately after.
 

BPH

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What's your problem?
I don't understand why you have to throw stray insults every now and then without ever backing them up?
What's your deal?

Don't like that we went different directions after you mention my name in the first sentence of your journal?

Communicate.
What did I say that provoked you?
Oh cool you can meet new people and they can become a part of your life. Wow.
Oh sweet you can have sex with your friends and a fulfilling life that nourishes you. Woaaah!
Do you need a dictionary? Would you like me to use simple words for your masculine man-brain?
F U, B.
The guy's out here trying to meet women and you're talking about being spiritually fulfilled by random strangers...

Without getting too in-depth, we're friends on Facebook, so I've seen your "evolution" so to speak. I'm sure I'll get some hate for this, but I don't think you should be giving advice.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Without getting too in-depth, we're friends on Facebook, so I've seen your "evolution" so to speak. I'm sure I'll get some hate for this, but I don't think you should be giving advice.
End of a bromance...
 
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BaronOfHair

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30 year old African male living in Norway. I have done cold approach so far back at home and found some success.

But, here is liking playing on hard mode. I have gotten about 5-8 numbers from 60 cold approaches in 1.5 months and have gotten one response and a date and she isn’t even Norwegian, hahaha.

My cold approach goes like this, “You walk beautifully or compliment their coat, make a cold read on what they do and get their number”. That’s how it goes for me.

I don’t frequent clubs often so nightgame is out of the question. OLD is terrible there, people ghosting and playing games when you ask for a meet up or number.

All in all, the conclusion I have come to is that. Its a numbers game, Norwegians are not that open to cold approach so its hard mode here and I need to take a break because I think I have hit a limit for now and out of energy or enthusiasm.

I appreciate any feedbacks on how to improve my success rate to get bangs.
I'm struggling with cold approach as well, I'm in south of Sweden, in a non-international city. I've lived in Norway, I'd say that is just as hard, a bit easier in Oslo maybe.

I have an absolutely lousy conversion rate, literally about 1 in 1000 sech close from cold approach. OLD doesn't work for me despite pro photos and fake age.

I think it's important to remember that cold approach is the hardest, but something every man should be able to do, and hence train for. The recent weeks I have had very little approach anxiety/stress, and miss fewer and fewer girls I want to approach.

One danger with cold approach is that it's so taxing on your psyche, win/lose rate that your frame breaks. One needs to adjust for that, and have a perspective on it that is adequate for "surviving" it. I believe I now have, although I sometimes take a momentary hit from harsh attitude.
You fellas are operating in the frigid climate of Scandinavia, ergo it'll likely behoove you all to warm up your approach. Not even being(entirely)facetious here either. A variation of P. Gibbons's "opener" to Joanna in Office Space is highly effective in RL:

"I'm grabbing coffee at (insert time and location). You should join me"
 

NorwegianDJ

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The guy's out here trying to meet women and you're talking about being spiritually fulfilled by random strangers...

Without getting too in-depth, we're friends on Facebook, so I've seen your "evolution" so to speak. I'm sure I'll get some hate for this, but I don't think you should be giving advice.
You should fly out and spend some time. I'm sure you'd change your mind.
I'm happy and it seems that what I do works. You can bring out your big number, sure. But you're fast to dismiss me, simply because you fail to understand me. I think this forum could use more than just numbers and gym-time. How are your metrics working out for ya?
You know?

Let it be, man.
I'm simply suggesting that it is a lot easier to live with yourself if you give up trying to manipulate everybody into sleeping with you.
 

corrector

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I agree, especially, your frame taking a hit. But over this few days I have separated me taking a rejection to my value as a man. So, my attitude is much better now and I have reached a point I don’t care anymore. Because if you do it will drive you crazy how fickle these women are. So, I just do my thing. See a girl I like, approach, try getting her number, etc. I’m in the streets and on OLD. As a previous poster said, the country might not be right for me and I agree. I work full time here so I would have to make things happen until I get enough savings to move to another country. All in all, scandinavia is a hard place for cold approach especially if you are not native. But, we move forward.
Do you have any warm approaches at work?
 

BPH

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if you give up trying to manipulate everybody into sleeping with you.
This perspective is flawed.

Women want sex just as much as men...we just happen to be the ones who have to facilitate it.

If you feel like you're "manipulating" women into sleeping with you, you're probably doing something immoral or unethical during that process.
 

Bingo-Player

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Need to focus on being more outcome independent

You're at a critical age you should be busy doing a lot of things and whilst your busy doing said things women should be appearing

Then you then interact with the women whilst you are going about your business, its less pressure for everyone

at 39 you can't be going out specifically trying to pick women up off the street the awkwardness of it is going to radiate off you and deter them

Bars fine whatever its open season

Cold approach you need to be a lot more tactful
 
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