Tread carefully and check the methods in the studies you use for your research.
Our stance on complaining("Our choices are between never expressing our displeasure or acting out like rabid chimpanzees. There's no way to operate, outside of those two extremes")is similar the false binary our entire culture has regarding anger
15:00-18:12
When you look back on the moments you regret most in your life, a fair number of them likely involved you being angry. And if these cringe-inducing, life- and relationship-damaging moments happen more often than you’d like, then it’s time to start thinking about how to get a handle on your...
www.artofmanliness.com
foreverfamilies.byu.edu
Quote: "According to anger scholar Charles Spielberger, anger is expressed in at least three ways. It may be directed outward, toward other people or objects in the environment. You might feel like yelling, screaming, punching a person, smashing or destroying something, or throwing a chair or book across the room.3 These are destructive expressions of anger. What makes them destructive is that instead of solving the problem, they usually escalate the situation and make the problem worse. A recent study showed that, contrary to popular belief, venting anger through physical aggression, such as by punching a bag or pillow, did not decrease anger but actually increased aggressive behavior.
Anger may also be directed inward, such as through holding in or suppressing angry feelings. This mode of expression can also be destructive, for if anger is not allowed some form of constructive external expression, it can increase the risks of high blood pressure, depression, suicide, gastrointestinal problems, and drug or alcohol use. Unexpressed anger can also lead to other problems such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on), a hostile and cynical way of dealing with others, and increased use of put-downs and criticism. Obviously, such behavior doesn't promote harmonious relationships with others.
A third mode of anger expression is the control of anger. Pop psychology ideas used to promote the philosophy of "let it all hang out." During its heyday, this damaging approach led many clinicians and others to recommend that people communicate their anger just to get it off their chest. But research has shown that far from solving problems, unbridled expression of anger makes matters worse. Not only does it escalate anger and threaten relationships, it also places one's physical health at risk. It is wise to control or manage the expression of anger in constructive ways.
Controlling anger doesn't mean ignoring the emotion. Instead, it involves first calming oneself so that one's anger can be used to achieve constructive ends, such as solving problems and restoring emotional connections with others. Proper control of anger reduces the risk of violence toward others as well as physiological harm to oneself.
As much as we like horses, few of us would be willing to ride one without a bridle. There are literally hundreds of different kinds of bridles but the major purpose is the same: to get the horse to do what we want it to do.
Using a bridle doesn't deny that the horse exists, nor does it mean that the horse is a bad animal. Quite the contrary. Bridles allow us to manage and guide the horse to accomplish our purposes, like packing deep into a mountain wilderness.
Anger is like an unbridled horse. Unless we govern it, we are at its mercy. The consequences of unbridled anger aren't the ones we really want"
Complaining is similar. Unless we get ahold of the manner in which we do it, and the frequency with which we indulge, this s-it harms us more than it does whoever and whatever it is we're not thrilled with