How many of you actually go out every weekend to approach and talk to women?

[Jesse Pinkman]

And how has it been working out for you?

Do give context on what country you are in here too.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Before I started dating my girlfriend and after 2020:

Never, I just did OLD or women would approach me in my regular venues like the Gym, Grocery Store, Coffee place, and etc.

Before 2020:

Every weekend lol. Duringthe lock downs, I realized how much I hated going to bars/clubs every weekend and was happy that they shut down. Once everything opened back up I just stuck with OLD lol.

 

[The Duke]

I live outside of a major US metro area. I go out to bars, concerts, sporting events at least once a weekend. I approach a lot of girls and asked for a few numbers. I've ran into more married girls than anything else. Lots of cucks out there these days.

I'm not really interested in a casual deal with some random girl. I've had plenty of those. Haven't ran into the right girl that gets me excited physically and mentally. One I found turned out to be married, the other had young kids.

As much as I hate OLD I dont want to go that route but hanging out in bars isn't always productive either.

I'm happy with the conversations I've had, I know what I'm doing, just haven't ran into the right girl so I go without. Definitely had the opportunities if I wanted it.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Before I started dating my girlfriend and after 2020:

Never, I just did OLD or women would approach me in my regular venues like the Gym, Grocery Store, Coffee place, and etc.

Before 2020:

Every weekend lol. Duringthe lock downs, I realized how much I hated going to bars/clubs every weekend and was happy that they shut down. Once everything opened back up I just stuck with OLD lol.

As I have found out the hard way myself, given that you used to read my cold approach journal which I had to give up on since the forum gave me crap for it:

1. You get way more opportunities with online

2. You can match with and go on dates with girls online that are hotter than 90% of girls in a given venue or out during the day, this is Miami I am talking about here!

3. It is just so much less stressful.

What I have found with cold approach is that most girls are not even worth approaching, the few that are are usually taken or in a bad mood. Nightgame is the worst because the hot ones are always in massive groups.

 

[BPH]

As I have found out the hard way myself, given that you used to read my cold approach journal which I had to give up on since the forum gave me crap for it:

1. You get way more opportunities with online

2. You can match with and go on dates with girls online that are hotter than 90% of girls in a given venue or out during the day, this is Miami I am talking about here!

3. It is just so much less stressful.

What I have found with cold approach is that most girls are not even worth approaching, the few that are are usually taken or in a bad mood. Nightgame is the worst because the hot ones are always in massive groups.

Based on this thread and the one I commented on the other day I think you just have a preconceived hatred towards cold approaching. Whether that's because you don't think the people who are good at it deserve their success, due to their flaws, or whether it's because you yourself haven't had success with it, I don't know.

Cold approaching, I will always say, is one of the most valuable skills you can develop. True confidence with an immunity to rejection.

I am 29 and admittedly am quite good-looking. However...I live at home with my parents, before I started working full-time I was only making about $20k/year, I live in f***ing suburban Delaware and I STILL sleep with way more women than anybody else I know personally (granted I have 1 or 2 friends with the "any hole's the goal" philosophy, but quantity without quality is pointless to me).

Now, to address the other points.

1. You may get more opportunities, but you're also competing with literally everybody else at the same time, rather than whoever's in front of her at that very moment. I think I mentioned once that when my ex had Tinder she tried to show me a note feature where you can type a message to people you swipe right on that didn't swipe right on you. Quite literally every right swipe was a match. You are competing with HUNDREDS of other guys. Chances are, at least one is a better prospect on paper. But you can cut through all that by being the guy making the move and talking to her, in person, right now.
2. You can, doesn't mean you will. Read above. Being in Miami, you'll definitely have a larger pool of attractive women to swipe through, sure, but they're all going to be swiping on whoever's the hottest young rich guy posing on the biggest yacht. I can't speak from experience, but through social media it seems Miami is probably the second most materialistic place for women to go, only behind LA. I would imagine that if you aren't in the top 10% there, which is already the top 1% compared to most of the country, they're probably going to pick their best option from their matches.
3. I mean at the start yeah, because you're worried about the outcome. After a while, you look forward to it. When I go out to a bar or a club, I'm having a BETTER time if there are attractive women to talk to. In general, they're there for the same reason you are, so offer them what they want and see who's interested.

You can not like cold approaching because you don't like cold approaching, but it almost feels like you think it's "invalid" and want that point of view reinforced.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not me. Waste of time and money for the most part. Plus I don't drink so it would be a double waste of time.

 

[CornbreadFed]

As I have found out the hard way myself, given that you used to read my cold approach journal which I had to give up on since the forum gave me crap for it:

1. You get way more opportunities with online

2. You can match with and go on dates with girls online that are hotter than 90% of girls in a given venue or out during the day, this is Miami I am talking about here!

3. It is just so much less stressful.

What I have found with cold approach is that most girls are not even worth approaching, the few that are are usually taken or in a bad mood. Nightgame is the worst because the hot ones are always in massive groups.

If you like cold approaching and find it a self-fulfilling hobby, then keep doing it. **** the haters that give you crap for it. I feel like everyone, but a select few members on this forum are at war with others lol. Yeah, this is a men's dating advice forum, but obviously there's different types of motives and viewpoints on this forum. You cannot win them all at the end of the day.

I think people are starting to replicate the current economy and stability of the world. Women are worried about inflation, a stressful job that they are trapped in, bills, safety from crime, a changing world, and etc. Add in the fact that you are not the only person approaching them right now either. The last thing they can process right now is some stranger approaching them while they are in their peaceful comfort zone. I can see this not being an issue in clubs, but I can definitely see why someone would be in a bad mood if encountered in an environment like the gym or grocery store.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

I never go out for the sole purpose of approaching women.

I go out and while I'm out I talk to whomever I want. Usually includes attractive young women.

I'm in a LTR so it's just an exhibition game for me. But usually once per week.

 

[DreamAgain]

It is increasingly getting worse, I would recommend you to maximize your online presence, as an older guy it will be your main breakthrough. People's in person social skills are declining significantly, if you are shooting younger it will need to be through the digital realm nowadays, through an app or instagram.

 

[Solomon]

From 2008-2019 It was nearly every weekend or every other weekend (I think I have approached over 4,000 women in that time I use to keep a field report blog but I took it down since it got kind of semi-big)

Now post Covid running my own business, I haven't approached a woman in a bar/club for over a year I tend to go to Fashion shows which is usually 2-3 times a year(with multiple events), boat parties (in the summer), art festivals, social circle etc. The type of woman I want I'm not going to meet her at the bar/club.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Not me. Waste of time and money for the most part. Plus I don't drink so it would be a double waste of time.

I never go out for the sole purpose of approaching women.

I go out and while I'm out I talk to whomever I want. Usually includes attractive young women.

I'm in a LTR so it's just an exhibition game for me. But usually once per week.

Same here.

I went through a phase about ten years ago, going out 2+ nights a week to do cold approach with a couple buddies, and while it was interesting, after about a year of it, it really wasn't something I saw any point in continuing.

I haven't gone out for the expressed purposed of meeting women in years, and I probably won't ever again. Cold approach in this context is a complete waste of time and effort and imo it's clown behavior, women can smell your "agenda" a mile away. It only makes sense to talk to women incidentally if you're already in places you want to be and are enjoying yourself, ya know, like a human being would normally socialize. I have grown to detest the borderline autistic PUA mindset many people have, though some certainly seem to make it work. But I would maintain that cold approach is overall a waste of time when you're only doing it for its own sake. Michael Sartain talks about this all the time, how many couples actually meet from cold approach? It's basically zero, and not because men are too pvssy to do it, but because top tier men don't do it, they use IG/OLD.

 

[sangheilios]

From 2008-2019 It was nearly every weekend or every other weekend (I think I have approached over 4,000 women in that time I use to keep a field report blog but I took it down since it got kind of semi-big)

Now post Covid running my own business, I haven't approached a woman in a bar/club for over a year I tend to go to Fashion shows which is usually 2-3 times a year(with multiple events), boat parties (in the summer), art festivals, social circle etc. The type of woman I want I'm not going to meet her at the bar/club.

My personal opinion, I think as you get close to 30, or especially beyond, it's honestly kind of cringey/weird if you go out to bars and clubs on a regular basis. There's nothing necessarily wrong with it, I just feel it shows that you have your priorities misaligned while there are better things you could be doing with your time. Now, going out once in a while with some friends for like a birthday or something is different though.

On a night I have nothing going on, I'd rather just sit at home reading a book or watching youtube videos or maybe just go relax in the sauna instead of hitting up a bar or club.

 

[mikedee]

I never go out, it's never been an issue, daygame all the way.

 

[sangheilios]

Same here.

I went through a phase about ten years ago, going out 2+ nights a week to do cold approach with a couple buddies, and while it was interesting, it really wasn't something I saw any point in continuing after about a year.

I haven't gone out for the expressed purposed of meeting women in years, and I probably won't ever again. Cold approach in this context is a complete waste of time and effort and imo it's clown behavior, women can smell your "agenda" a mile away. It only makes sense to talk to women incidentally if you're already in places you want to be and are enjoying yourself. I would maintain that cold approach is overall a waste of time. Michael Sartain talks about this all the time, how many couples actually meet from cold approach? It's basically zero, and not because men are too pvssy to do it, but because top tier men don't do it, they use IG/OLD.

I think your idea about cold approaching has some truth to it, most people definitely don't meet their significant others this way. However, your comment about incidental interactions has some truth to it. It could be something where you are grabbing tomatoes at the grocery store and this girl walks by, you make some sort of comment or whatever and she appears open to further interaction. Stuff like this does actually happen and is fairly normal, but a huge difference compared to just walking up to some random girl on the street lol.

 

[Solomon]

My personal opinion, I think as you get close to 30, or especially beyond, it's honestly kind of cringey/weird if you go out to bars and clubs on a regular basis. There's nothing necessarily wrong with it, I just feel it shows that you have your priorities misaligned while there are better things you could be doing with your time. Now, going out once in a while with some friends for like a birthday or something is different though.

On a night I have nothing going on, I'd rather just sit at home reading a book or watching youtube videos or maybe just go relax in the sauna instead of hitting up a bar or club.

I totally agree, also liquor hits different, when you are younger 4 hours of sleep and you are good, now if I have 3 drinks I'm out for the whole day the next day.

I recently got crap for saying guys who are 40+ going to 21+ clubs/bars is loser behavior, Not saying 40+ year olds don't go out but any successful person ain't going out every week like that unless they have nothing else going on in their life

I was just thinking all the time and energy I spend chasing tail, if I woulda used that energy starting a business I would be a millionaire already, you live and you learn

 

[Mike32ct]

From 2004 through 2009, I was at the club pretty much every Fri and Sat. The doorman was like “Go ahead Mike, but if you ever come out alone, I’ll gonna call security to have you thrown back INTO the club lol.” He was a cool mofo.

Today, I don’t drink at all for health reasons. Haven’t been out in a long time except for an occasional restaurant bar just to eat.

 

[BPH]

I totally agree, also liquor hits different, when you are younger 4 hours of sleep and you are good, now if I have 3 drinks I'm out for the whole day the next day.

I recently got crap for saying guys who are 40+ going to 21+ clubs/bars is loser behavior, Not saying 40+ year olds don't go out but any successful person ain't going out every week like that unless they have nothing else going on in their life

I was just thinking all the time and energy I spend chasing tail, if I woulda used that energy starting a business I would be a millionaire already, you live and you learn

I'm not 40 yet so I can't speak from experience, but I think people 40+ going to clubs or bars "not having anything going on in their life" is probably just "not being married with kids". I wouldn't say it's because they're busy making money with their business or something; most people by that age just have a family.

But you could ask @Divorced w 3 because I believe he falls into that category.

 

[sangheilios]

I totally agree, also liquor hits different, when you are younger 4 hours of sleep and you are good, now if I have 3 drinks I'm out for the whole day the next day.

I was just thinking all the time and energy I spend chasing tail, if I woulda used that energy starting a business I would be a millionaire already, you live and you learn

I personally never drank at all as a teen and in my twenties. Hell, I had never even been to a club until I was like 25, which I didn't really like at all. In my late 20s I had a mini stretch where I was hitting up bars and clubs just to talk to women, a lot of times I did this on my own but I also had a couple guys I had gone with. I would never drink alcohol when I was there, it was mostly just to interact with women. I found the experiences interesting, but I ultimately got nothing from it, in fact I found a lot of the women were just flat out unenjoyable to talk to. I also remember seeing many women there that would have all of their attention on their phone lol. I always found this incredibly odd, like why are they even there if all they are going to do is just be texting someone all night lol. This was all before the pandemic, so it's been a very long time.

I think your life should have a variety of experiences but it's also important to recognize what brings value or what detracts it. Many things that people engage in are full blown pointless distractions or even downright detrimental. Clubs and bars are one of these things, some other examples would be excessive video game playing, spending hours watching sports, gambling, etc. I like to play poker and had a stretch in 2022 where I was playing way too much to where it was taking away from other things in my life. I still play a little here and there, but it's significantly less than back then. I might play once a week for a few hours for a couple weeks but then not go back for another couple months. I'm finding I'm playing less and less often and slowly losing interest, and that's even when I make money lol.


Healthy or beneficial pursuits involve things like going to the gym, going hiking or any other type of physical activity that keeps you in shape. Reading and learning new skills or about new topics or ideas are very beneficial. While I personally overlook this, I think it's important to develop healthy friendships and associate with good people. I have a lot of people that I talk to that I'm friendly with but I don't really spend time with them outside of the environments they are from (gym, work, etc.).

Going back to clubs and bars, I just don't really see much benefit of it other than distracting yourself from your life troubles and living in the moment. There's nothing wrong with this, but it doesn't bring value to your life, it's this type of mindset that I think what leads to issues with drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. I'd also add that many of the people you are going to meet in these places are not those you want around, basically just more bad influences.

 

[DreamAgain]

I have also seen more people, particularly girls, will go out with their boyfriends to bars or just to take pictures with their friends for socials. I really rarely see girls keen and looking to meeting new people at bars.

 

[sangheilios]

From 2004 through 2009, I was at the club pretty much every Fri and Sat. The doorman was like “Go ahead Mike, but if you ever come out alone, I’ll gonna call security to have you thrown back INTO the club lol.” He was a cool mofo.

Today, I don’t drink at all for health reasons. Haven’t been out in a long time except for an occasional restaurant bar just to eat.

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm not into the bar/club scene. However, I've talked to @SW15 and @Solomon about this but I've been seeing and hearing a lot of people, both online and in real life, complaining about how much the nightlife scene has deteriorated since the COVID lockdowns. While I noticed this pre pandemic, women will literally be there in groups or as a pair just sitting or standing there with their faces glued to their phone as they are texting lol, I think this is especially an issue for Gen Z. You'll notice that a lot of these places have social media where they will show pictures of hot women showing up there to party or even just working there as a means to draw men in. It's all just marketing hype but to where men aren't getting anything from it, other than ringing ears, sleep deprivation, possibly some sort of remnant effects from alcohol and noticing a 3 figure charge on their card lol. I think most men would be better off just avoiding this scene all together.