Being emotional and using drama to get girls hooked? Anyone ever try this?

[member162951]

Quality girls require more investment than that.

We love what we invest in.

I agree with this^ with one proviso. Quality "people" (both women and men) require more investment than that. People love what they invest in.

There's a popular saying "we value more the things (and people) we have to work for (invest in) a bit." It's true for both women AND men, it's not gender specific.

You can't constantly be a jerk and expect worthwhile women to stick around. Floozies? Sure.

Yes of course, and this is essentially what I meant, thanks.

 

[BeExcellent]

I agree with this^ with one proviso. Quality "people" (both women and men) require more investment than that. People love what they invest in.

There's a popular saying "we value more the things (and people) we have to work for (invest in) a bit." It's true for both women AND men, it's not gender specific.



Yes of course, and this is essentially what I meant, thanks.

Agree 100%.

 

[Manure Spherian]

My husband and I are both highly desirable people.

You state this quite often. I think most here get this now: you and your people, are operating at a high level.

My husband felt like rolling the dice & poking the bear.

So he insisted we go in, probably to rub it in my ex's face.

How old is he?

That is true for a number of reasons. Sure he could find someone younger/hotter than me. She would either want children (he never wanted kids), have young children (which he won't deal with) and she wouldn't be the emotionally stable person I am. He will end up with plenty of money (7 figures) from his parents. I didn't know that till this past holidays (after we married). He knows I have rental properties. He also knows that I've worked my rear off to earn what I have. Its not about the money per se but about a positive success mindset.

Younger/hotter doesn’t mean better.

Some 6’-plus, handsome, gregarious man with money is capable of finding an alright woman without personality disorders. And with the amount of greedy and ambitious women in the workforce these days, there are enough with success mindsets, especially in the big cities. I can take a train to Manhattan and spot such women the moment I step on the street.

 

[BeExcellent]

You state this quite often. I think most here get this now: you and your people, are operating at a high level.





How old is he?



Younger/hotter doesn’t mean better.

Some 6’-plus, handsome, gregarious man with money is capable of finding an alright woman without personality disorders. And with the amount of greedy and ambitious women in the workforce these days, there are enough with success mindsets, especially in the big cities. I can take a train to Manhattan and spot such women the moment I step on the street.

He's 47.

 

[BeExcellent]

And I've never said he is gregarious. Gregarious is my wheel house. He is aloof, stand-offish even. Difficult. If he were a naturally gregarious man he'd have more options for LTR perhaps but he puts women off with his attitude since he's not a simp at all. In RP parlance I'd call him a Sigma male. Does his own thing and doesn't give a F.

He has never had trouble getting laid because of his looks. And also because of his looks he's been able to behave like whatev and girls still approach him.

But he wasn't getting what he wanted from rotations or one night lays.

And eventually most men who are able to run rotations arrive at the sense of "that's it?" disillusionment when they can't find a girl worth investment.

 

[member162951]

And I've never said he is gregarious. Gregarious is my wheel house. He is aloof, stand-offish even. Difficult. If he were a naturally gregarious man he'd have more options for LTR perhaps but he puts women off with his attitude since he's not a simp at all. In RP parlance I'd call him a Sigma male. Does his own thing and doesn't give a F.

He has never had trouble getting laid because of his looks. And also because of his looks he's been able to behave like whatev and girls still approach him.

But he wasn't getting what he wanted from rotations or one night lays.

And eventually most men who are able to run rotations arrive at the sense of "that's it?" disillusionment when they can't find a girl worth investment.

This^ may be the most (or one of the most) honest and real posts I've ever read from you @ Be.

>>He is aloof, stand-offish even. Difficult. <<

I had a feeling he was after reading about the car incident (prior to marriage) and how he lashed (lashes) out at you and your daughter casting blame, among other things you've shared, like what happened at the club the other night (wanting to rub your marriage in your ex's face).

Are you happy? I mean you just posted this yesterday:

You can't constantly be a jerk and expect worthwhile women to stick around.

No judgment whatsoever, I tend to be drawn to aloof "difficult" men too, I'm constantly fighting with myself about it.

Does his own thing and doesn't give a F.

But I also need kind, caring and sensitive towards others (not just towards me) too, the 'doesn't give a F' attitude can get old.

It's a balance.

In any event, I truly hope you're happy Be.
I give you **** sometimes but you good peeps and imo deserve better.

Your call of course.

 

[BeExcellent]

This^ may be the most (or one of the most) honest and real posts I've ever read from you @ Be.

>>He is aloof, stand-offish even. Difficult. <<

I had a feeling he was after reading about the car incident (prior to marriage) and how he lashed (lashes) out at you and your daughter casting blame, among other things you've shared, like what happened at the club the other night (wanting to rub your marriage in your ex's face).

Are you happy? I mean you just posted this yesterday:



No judgment whatsoever, I tend to be drawn to aloof "difficult" men too, I'm constantly fighting with myself about it.



But I also need kind, caring and sensitive towards others (not just towards me) too, the 'doesn't give a F' attitude can get old.

It's a balance.

In any event, I truly hope you're happy Be.
I give you **** sometimes but you good peeps and imo deserve better.

Your call of course.

I would not have married him if I didn't 'get' him. He is very sweet to me, and he listens. I can't do plain vanilla, that's never been my jam. He is just my speed.

 

[member162951]

He is very sweet to me, and he listens.

I'm glad to hear. It's what I meant by balance.

I'm the same, plain vanilla doesn't appeal to me either, I need that "edge." And I think if women were more honest with themselves, they'd agree they need that too!!

Not all obviously....

Anyway I'm happy for y'all and sounds cliché but all the best moving forward.

 

[Manure Spherian]

And I've never said he is gregarious. Gregarious is my wheel house. He is aloof, stand-offish even. Difficult. If he were a naturally gregarious man he'd have more options for LTR perhaps but he puts women off with his attitude since he's not a simp at all. In RP parlance I'd call him a Sigma male. Does his own thing and doesn't give a F.

I mistakenly thought he was. What I found peculiar was you stating a high-status man would have such difficulty in finding an "LTR" because of whatever personality defects he has. Many women put up with all sorts of things far worse long term. I myself can be irritable but I have greatly improved with that after having been with my wife for near fifteen years and having children. We're still here despite our flaws.

I asked his age because I was surprised by his desire to inspire envy in other men.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I need that "edge."

That's interesting. I especially remember sitting in my close friend's restaurant (he was the owner and now is a popular figure on IG, with near 1 million followers), talking to a woman we knew, and her saying she wants a man with an "edge". Being much younger at the time, I was sort of puzzled by the term and asked my then therapist what she possibly meant.

Surprisingly years later had a woman apply the term to me though I do not think I have that quality.

 

[member162951]

Surprisingly years later had a woman apply the term to me though I do not think I have that quality.

We don't always perceive ourselves the way others do, but I can see it! Just from your postings.

A sort of "take no bullshyt" attitude.

 

[Manure Spherian]

We don't always perceive ourselves the way others do, but I can see it! Just from your postings.

Thank you.

 

[Dr.Suave]

He's not a simp at all.

Speaking in generals, a case could be made that an unmarried and childless man dating and then marrying a divorced single mom is a simp and/or/as he wasnt able to pull a childless woman. While your husband was able to pull childless women, he chose you over them. Either:

A.- You offer some value to him that he cant find on the childless women
B.- He has some sort of mommy issues (which you will deny even if there was any truth to it).
C.- You have some sort of female version of "game" and your game is so tight you pulled him and made him think it was his idea to go exclusive and get married.
D.- You are some sort of witch and you put a spell on him.
E.- A combination of some of the above.

 

[BeExcellent]

Speaking in generals, a case could be made that an unmarried and childless man dating and then marrying a divorced single mom is a simp and/or/as he wasnt able to pull a childless woman. While your husband was able to pull childless women, he chose you over them. Either:

A.- You offer some value to him that he cant find on the childless women
B.- He has some sort of mommy issues (which you will deny even if there was any truth to it).
C.- You have some sort of female version of "game" and your game is so tight you pulled him and made him think it was his idea to go exclusive and get married.
D.- You are some sort of witch and you put a spell on him.
E.- A combination of some of the above.

The answer is A. He wanted to find a very hot woman with no kids who never wants kids who is also intelligent, fun, emotionally stable, is not selfish, is not financially dependent, is athletic/fit, and who is patient and kind. She also needs to be free to travel with him to his events and be supportive of his events.

He couldn't find that exact combo. So I brought everything he wanted to the table except that I already have children. However my children are exceptionally well behaved, very low drama, and old enough that I can prioritize his events and go with him 90% of the time. I checked all the other boxes for him. He jokes that I'll probably outlive him even though he's younger. He knows I read social situations better than he does & he appreciates that as a strength of mine that benefits him in social settings.

His mother is a very beautiful woman, even in her mid 70s, and I do get the sense he always wanted a wife that his mother (and father) would approve of and who was up to or exceeded family expectations. Is that "mommy issues?" I don't really think so. I certainly function as a wife/lover/friend/partner much more than I did with my first husband (whose family was the idyllic nuclear family until the father died). He thinks his mother is a ultra religious prude who is somewhat close minded. I think she tries (unsuccessfully) to manipulate him, which my mother also had those covert narcissist tendencies so I recognize that behavior and know how to navigate it. He either tunes it out or doesn't realise it. He's not workable that way.

You'll see @Dr.Suave once you yourself marry here soon, that marriage is not just to the spouse. It is also to the family & whatever family shortcomings there may be....you also marry those. No family is perfect.

Do I have game? Certainly I understand game. I learned and internalized a long time ago something my paternal grandmother used to say:

Women must never pursue men, rather women must choose from amongst the men who show interest. Women are wise to maintain looks and appeal to enough men so that the pool of men interested in you includes men you are interested in.

I took that philosophy to heart and my husband was very interested in and smitten by me. He remains so. Onbiously he also appeals to me.

 

[Dr.Suave]

He couldn't find that exact combo.

I see. Thank you for your reply

You'll see @Dr.Suave once you yourself marry here soon, that marriage is not just to the spouse. It is also to the family & whatever family shortcomings there may be....you also marry those.

My fiance´s mother is a nice religious old lady but she keeps butting in on everything. I feel like I have to spend more time drawing my boundaries on her than on my fiance which is just absurd. Its getting ridiculous tbh.

I learned and internalized a long time ago something my paternal grandmother used to say:

Women must never pursue men, rather women must choose from amongst the men who show interest. Women are wise to maintain looks and appeal to enough men so that the pool of men interested in you includes men you are interested in.

Props to your grandma. She knew what´s what.