LTR potential or nah?

[soulforge]

OP you mentioned something about pills?

Are you telling me you is on anti depressants? Or did you mean "The Pill" as in contraception.

If she is in meds.. Then I suggest you run, that alone is a deal breaker.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If she is in meds.. Then I suggest you run, that alone is a deal breaker.

It's worse if she's on meds but not taking them. DAMHIK.

 

[Scaramouche]

Sup.

I took almost half a year off from dating - after crazy ammounts of ***** during spring/early summer I felt kinda exhausted with hedonism and decided to take a break. Long story short got bored because (potentially controversial opinion coming) I'd rather fap it out in 15 minutes and get back to work or enjoying sports and my hobbies rather than spending countless evenings swiping on apps and meeting women. I only allowed myself to sleep with one old fwb once per 1-2 months, but other than that I focused on myself over going out with random sluts.

A month ago decided I'm gonna look around for any potentially good candidates for an LTR, so the hunt resumed in a calm matter.
So, last weekend met this turkish girl (around 8 lookswise) from Bumble. Idk if Bumble in the US is used in more similiar fashion to Tinder or Hinge so I don't think that plays a role here.
Additional info, both her and me are 24. She's a student who moved here 4 months ago from her home country, I left my uni without degree and am working in a field I'm happy with. Also, Central/Eastern Europe (women on average slightly less broken here than in the west imo).

Obviously, this was only a first meeting so only a little bit of a character was uncovered, seeing her this Saturday again.

Imma do the sections to keep it clear

Green flags

• Smart, educated (degree/work experience in multiple STEM fields)
• Impressively similiar hobbies/interests (honestly, first time in a long time I shared so many interests with a woman)
• Follow up to above, in few hobbies (such as singing) where she's more advanced than me she immidietly offered to help me with some stuff - I get it as offering investement, hence green flag
• Offered to pay multiple times and got few drinks on herself
• Seemingly not addicted from social media
• Good relationship with siblings and family
• Declared never using any drugs other than trying weed few times but not enjoying it
• Does some sports, namely swimming...

Yellow Flags (unsure how to interpret)

• ...but says people who spend time doing aesthetics focused sports are pretty much always dumb (said in the context of gym) (she has ~5kg too much for her height although still looking good)
• When asked about what's her type couldn't specify beyond "intelligent" which is as cliche as it goes
• Says she's a feminist but not a western type (talked about how women's rights in Turkey are pathetic), no clue whether she's actually doing any social activism or other bs
• Declared herself as a less of an emotional thinker (Yes yes, I know lmao. And red flags makes this sound like a lie)
• Was only in a single 2 years long relationship (she said her bf cheated on her - obviously no clue whether it's true)

Red Flags

• Already on pills
• She was the one pushing for sex after I told her it's late and it's time to go to home and get some sleep. Explanation: told her I'm tired, she asked again less subtely this time that she'd like to come over to me, told her that my place is off the limits (it was nasty af, planned to do grand cleaning on the next day lol), she invited me to her place because she really liked me. I asked her if she says that to every Bumble guy, she got mad and I had to calmly and slightly coldly explain that I really don't like how she knows it was a joke but is trying to use it agaisnt me. Ended up ordering uber for us and taking me her to her rented room.
• In a follow up to previous one and last of Yellow Flags, suspiciously good in bed (despite N count of ~30 never seen a woman try the "born girl squatting on a dik" position and not fail, especially drunk). Also, dirty talk and even some stuff like "cam in me baby"
• smokes

Had some drunken sex at her place (boy it was 4am I was trynna survive and calm her down so I can get some sleep lmao, in top5 funniest ons from my perspective I had). Slept there, morning was really sweet - listening to music, hugging all the stuff. She wanted me to stay longer but I left ~1,5-2h after waking up.
Over past few days had 2, mostly logistical conversations (I'm not huge on writing with people and she seems similiar in this aspect) - she did show investement "I'll be happy to go there WITH YOU" etc. As mentioned earlier, I'll be meeting her this Saturday, soberly this time

Not sure about her social situation rn, she did mention having some university friends and going out with them to bars sometimes on weekends, no club nights since she doesn't like them - hard to really come up with anything to take away from this

Yes, I am 99% sure she's been having her hot girl foreign country adventures, no clue about the ammount of these. When asked about experience with Bumble she said she only had good experiences (yeah we all know what that usually means). The 2nd red flag is pretty significant, taking that out of equation she did seem in the range of 'fine, requires slight vetting'.
I'm interested to hear whether in your eyes that's too big of a no no or is it something that can be solved by proper vetting. Or perhaps there is that 1% chance that I really worked my magic that well that night and it was a first situation like this for her (was on pills since last LTR). Lmao

Oh yeah and no worries, I'm meeting another promisingly looking girl on monday. Not getting oneitis that's for damn sure.

Cheers everyone

Hi FOWO,
If you are ready for a LTR,she sounds just right...a big cultural jump from Moslem to Roman Catholic,she is doing rather well...She will revert to type and be a loyal One Man Girl...The Turks are a fine race.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I mean I knew there's gonna be people making claims like you, this doesn't make it less funny tho. As I said - already had tons of sex for my age as well as some good LTRs. I'm not desperate, access to sex is easy and have plenty of experience.

Then why are you trying to get outside assurance to date this girl? You know she’s not LTR material, but scarcity is affecting your brain.

And this thread I see many people trying to tell me I'm hopeless or some $hit lol.
I guess nobody read that I'm simply curious on how you people see these redflags as a pernament no no or something to be fixed by vetting.
Either way - I'm good, thanks for caring about my mindset mate

Because we aren’t blinded by this girl’s pvssy like you, so our input will be more raw.

 

[Fowo]

OP you mentioned something about pills?

Are you telling me you is on anti depressants? Or did you mean "The Pill" as in contraception.

If she is in meds.. Then I suggest you run, that alone is a deal breaker.

Nah ment she's on contraception pills. If she's on them constantly but havent been in a relationship for some time it's pretty clear whats the purpose of those, maybe max 10% chance or less she's just been taking them constantly all this time to not fuk up hormones. I'm not one to believe that is the case, not that naive lol.
Yeah I did plate some bipolar girl for some time and while sex was top notch, even if I get back to casual sex, never again. $hit's not worth it, having to listen about auras and other weird stuff was funny the first time she started talking about it but lost its charm quickly

Then why are you trying to get outside assurance to date this girl? You know she’s not LTR material, but scarcity is affecting your brain.

Wdym, assurance? I stated earlier I worded it poorly, 'english is not my first language and yada yada' card (although to be fair I probably just bit the way I approached writing that post from the wrong direction and can't fully blame language for that). I'm asking pretty much only about what do people think about these redflags, gave all the other stuff for a whole picture.
Also not a scarcity issue, as I literally wrote earlier the reason I like her is because of good vibez and impressively similiar hobbies.

Because we aren’t blinded by this girl’s pvssy like you, so our input will be more raw.

Yeah I'm so blinded, almost like I didn't literally said im meeting other women, as well as with this particular one gonna meet her once or twice and leave it at that. Such a huge oneitis I have, goddamn you got me.

I don't care about you guys going rough on me but constantly trying to tell me I'm going nuts for this girl is pretty bizzare, considering all the additional explaining I'm doing. Agreed though, first post was too messy and that's on me, it didn't get out straight what I expect from you - still, explaining I did should have made my pov clearer.

So to sum up and clear this mess a bit:

• not going crazy for her - liked her but more interested in how much of a dealbreaker these redflags are in your varied opinion (And potentially how many of them I put in the yellow category wrongly). All additional stuff given for context
• no oneitis syndrome, got loads of casual experience (for the age, especially considering I've been in a nearly 4 years long LTR) and meeting other women at the same time
• not planning to jump back into plating girls - done that, got bored, prefer LTRs
• no scarcity mindset - I'm 2 whatsapp messages away from getting laid if I want to, but choose not to. OLD going well too once I put my ass to actually swiping (it's kinda boring though so I'll start doing it maybe once per 2 weeks). Most of the time dgaf about women and just enjoying life instead - sex is cool and all but have you ever had an amazing sparring session?

Hope I straightened out some things about this thread - again, yeah, messy top post which is completly my own fault and didn't exactly translate reason why it exists in the first place, taking full responsibility for that

And with that out of the way I'm going out to enjoy weekend with some drinks and pool, may come back here on Sunday
Cheers everyone

 

[soulforge]

Nah ment she's on contraception pills. If she's on them constantly but havent been in a relationship for some time it's pretty clear whats the purpose of those, maybe max 10% chance or less she's just been taking them constantly all this time to not fuk up hormones. I'm not one to believe that is the case, not that naive lol.
Yeah I did plate some bipolar girl for some time and while sex was top notch, even if I get back to casual sex, never again. $hit's not worth it, having to listen about auras and other weird stuff was funny the first time she started talking about it but lost its charm quickly

Wdym, assurance? I stated earlier I worded it poorly, 'english is not my first language and yada yada' card (although to be fair I probably just bit the way I approached writing that post from the wrong direction and can't fully blame language for that). I'm asking pretty much only about what do people think about these redflags, gave all the other stuff for a whole picture.
Also not a scarcity issue, as I literally wrote earlier the reason I like her is because of good vibez and impressively similiar hobbies.


Yeah I'm so blinded, almost like I didn't literally said im meeting other women, as well as with this particular one gonna meet her once or twice and leave it at that. Such a huge oneitis I have, goddamn you got me.

I don't care about you guys going rough on me but constantly trying to tell me I'm going nuts for this girl is pretty bizzare, considering all the additional explaining I'm doing. Agreed though, first post was too messy and that's on me, it didn't get out straight what I expect from you - still, explaining I did should have made my pov clearer.

So to sum up and clear this mess a bit:

• not going crazy for her - liked her but more interested in how much of a dealbreaker these redflags are in your varied opinion (And potentially how many of them I put in the yellow category wrongly). All additional stuff given for context
• no oneitis syndrome, got loads of casual experience (for the age, especially considering I've been in a nearly 4 years long LTR) and meeting other women at the same time
• not planning to jump back into plating girls - done that, got bored, prefer LTRs
• no scarcity mindset - I'm 2 whatsapp messages away from getting laid if I want to, but choose not to. OLD going well too once I put my ass to actually swiping (it's kinda boring though so I'll start doing it maybe once per 2 weeks). Most of the time dgaf about women and just enjoying life instead - sex is cool and all but have you ever had an amazing sparring session?

Hope I straightened out some things about this thread - again, yeah, messy top post which is completly my own fault and didn't exactly translate reason why it exists in the first place, taking full responsibility for that

And with that out of the way I'm going out to enjoy weekend with some drinks and pool, may come back here on Sunday
Cheers everyone

OP your post was pretty rational and you actually asked a bunch of good questions.

This girl has a mixture of green and red flags, which obviously makes it difficult to decide on wether she is LTR material.

Go with your gut instinct.. One thing I would say is, your still young & your not even in your prime.

Aslong as you work on yourself, money, muscles & status, you will meet way better chicks in years to come.

Those who are complaining about you making a post about this situation, ignore them. Just because you have a few doubts & want some insight from others, doesn't mean that you already lost.

Some jokers on here, always go to the extremes. Personally I don't believe the red flags are too bad, however her being on contraception and pushing hard for sex, suggests that likely she has been around the block a few times.

 

[manfrombelow]

D@mn, Bro. That was deep

My ex had a way of making me feel stupid, inadequate, unheard, unrespected, and useless most of the time I stayed with her. Guess that's why she's an ex.

 

[mikedee]

She smokes and obviously she likes to get drunk.
She is a bit overweight (It's gonna get worse and worse).
She is promiscuous, she will be with other men, it's a matter of time.

I would never LTR a girl like that.

 

[sevbucmash]

@Fowo That's Feb 1st dating for 7 days, so now it's 40 days in. What happened? How did it work out?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP your post was pretty rational and you actually asked a bunch of good questions.

This girl has a mixture of green and red flags, which obviously makes it difficult to decide on wether she is LTR material.

Go with your gut instinct.. One thing I would say is, your still young & your not even in your prime.

Aslong as you work on yourself, money, muscles & status, you will meet way better chicks in years to come.

Those who are complaining about you making a post about this situation, ignore them. Just because you have a few doubts & want some insight from others, doesn't mean that you already lost.

Some jokers on here, always go to the extremes. Personally I don't believe the red flags are too bad, however her being on contraception and pushing hard for sex, suggests that likely she has been around the block a few times.

Green flags should not cancel out Red Flags. Red Flags are a full disqualifier of and by themself.

Like in the NFL draft when a player gets a Medical Red Flag from the doctors due to injury or a condition they don't feel comfortable with long term. They are immediately removed from the draft board no matter how good a player they are.

 

[manfrombelow]

Green flags should not cancel out Red Flags. Red Flags are a full disqualifier of and by themself.

Is there some kind of a ratio to this. I mean for example if a girl has 1 or 2 redflags but 6 or 8 greenflags? You'd still cancel her out then?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Is there some kind of a ratio to this. I mean for example if a girl has 1 or 2 redflags but 6 or 8 greenflags? You'd still cancel her out then?

Maybe it depends on the red flag. If she had a promiscous past she´s not worthy of exclusivity imho.

A different red flag could be tolerated. I guess not all red flags are created equal.

 

[manfrombelow]

Maybe it depends on the red flag. If she had a promiscous past she´s not worthy of exclusivity imho.

A different red flag could be tolerated. I guess not all red flags are created equal.

So we have to make a list of the kinds of redflags that are totally unacceptable (for example she's a porn actress), and the kinds that are less unacceptable.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So we have to make a list of the kinds of redflags that are totally unacceptable (for example she's a porn actress), and the kinds that are less unacceptable.

No, YOU have to make YOUR list on what is un/acceptable for YOU. There is not universal Green Flag/Red Flag list.

 

[Desdinova]

Long story short got bored because (potentially controversial opinion coming) I'd rather fap it out in 15 minutes and get back to work or enjoying sports and my hobbies rather than spending countless evenings swiping on apps and meeting women.

I reached this point years ago. Peel one off and get back to life. Not only that, I know how to please myself better than any woman. It's much more convenient and satisfying than putting all this time and effort into fvcking some random bytch for a few weeks.

Was only in a single 2 years long relationship (she said her bf cheated on her - obviously no clue whether it's true)

She's trash according to High Score Theory. Fvck her casually while looking for a younger, more inexperienced woman.

 

[manfrombelow]

No, YOU have to make YOUR list on what is un/acceptable for YOU. There is not universal Green Flag/Red Flag list.

Finally something wise, totally not retarded, from you sir.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is there some kind of a ratio to this. I mean for example if a girl has 1 or 2 redflags but 6 or 8 greenflags? You'd still cancel her out then?

100%