Post 55 Online Dating

[DJ Novice]

Thanks for the insights guys. Much appreciated.

I’m actually seeing the 46 year old Latina on Sunday for a first date after a couple of weeks of texting. Initial interest level far exceeds that of the 48 year old artist after 6 dates in terms of text interaction, vibe etc.

I’m really conscious of falling to oneitis. After 6 dates it really feels like a ‘women make rules for betas and break them for alphas’ situation and her desire for me is being negotiated in terms of me jumping through all sorts of hoops I would have thought I’d passed by now.

An interesting observation with the 48 year old artist (who only dates younger guys) is that the longer that time goes on it’s like I’m developing post-nut clarity without the actual bedroom activities occurring. A few flags have emerged.

While she is attractive she is carrying weight. Not excessive but she needs to lose about 10kg which to her credit she is trying to do. I was looking at her from behind and thinking it just wasn’t boner inducing at all.

Having lost a child at birth she has invested all her maternal instincts into two cats who she dotes over obsessively. My ex wife was like that with her dog and I know that you simply can’t compete with a full on pet mum and you will always be second.

She does not own her own home and rents looking after her elderly mother. While she has $100k in savings for a house she basically saves up all her money to travel overseas every few years. With house prices where I live being $700-$800k and at her age I think she is deluding herself into thinking home ownership is in her future. She shops at thrift stores, runs on the smell of an oily rag between trips.

She is very forgetful. Can’t pay attention to details and life admin stuff. Has forgotten to pay her taxes for the last 3 years. Organised a gig date for us only on the afternoon of the gig to tell me she got the date completely wrong and forgot to get a ticket for me ( got one at the last minute). She thinks she may have a form of attention deficit disorder and I agree.

I’ve seen her house where she rents. It’s very run down and if I had to spend any extended amount of time there I’d slit my wrists.

Her social media shows her as very self absorbed. Lots of past travel photos and posts of just her talking about herself doing mundane stuff like it’s actually interesting. I kind of think it’s kind of attention getting as she frequently responds to comments. Her last posts were how hot it was and a picture of her cat. Prefers to post to social media and respond to comments rather than replying in detail or at all to the few times I reply to her texts or reach out (only once or twice a week, I keep texting to a minimum).

The mum living with her means weird vibes if it ever progresses to the bedroom at her place.

I’m paying for all the dates so far. It’s starting to bother me as she makes no effort to contribute given her financial position. Taking it for granted. And I have created her to some pretty good dates. Taking the lead in organising them, seeing what she likes etc. even a mystery date thst

I think going forward I’m going to treat her as a plate, back off on any emotional investment I’m feeling towards her, cheapen the dates as much as possible, choose more what I want to do on those dates rather than always choosing what she wants (art stuff) and prioritise the Latina and the other girls who are showing more interest. I would still like to progress things to the bedroom with her but not at any price to my bank balance or emotions.

12 dates will be my hard limit before I will directly raise physical compatibility and chemistry with her if things don’t progress before that. Don’t want to appear insecure or needy but I reckon that’s a reasonable timeframe.

 

[DJ Novice]

Sorry, the artist is 58 not 48.

 

[DJ Novice]

Also just joined a Street Latin dancing class to extend my social network and meet girls in person.

 

[DJ Novice]

Weird mixed signals from the 58 year old. Liked my social media posts at 2am last night ( it was hot and the places he rents had no air conditioning). I asked her the thing she misses most about having relationship and she said ‘s*x’.
Which is strange considering that she is very picky whom she sleeps with, has no problem being single and celibate and we haven’t had a passionate kiss yet. Last time I tried I got the ‘turn my cheek and kiss me there’ response.
Whenever I lightly use some kino on her there’s zero response or reciprocation. She keeps her distance when we walk; have only held hands while at the movies and for a block or two while along back to my car after our last date.
I am very aware of body language and she’s not giving out any signs she wants physical intimacy yet.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

In my opinion, drop the 58-year-old bro; the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Once you boink the 46 year old, you'll understand.

 

[DJ Novice]

Not sure about that Pierce.
The 58 year old has only had one child.
The 46 year old has had three children.
The 58 year old has had 5 engagements and one marriage.
The 46 year old has only had one long term marriage.
My most recent girlfriend was 57 and had two children by C-Section. She was as tight as a 30 year old despite carrying a bit of excess weight.
I guess I will see if I have the chance to compare.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

In my opinion, drop the 58-year-old bro; the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Just get one recovering from vaginismus.

 

[The Diver]

Thanks for the insights guys. Much appreciated.

I’m actually seeing the 46 year old Latina on Sunday for a first date after a couple of weeks of texting. Initial interest level far exceeds that of the 48 year old artist after 6 dates in terms of text interaction, vibe etc.

I’m really conscious of falling to oneitis. After 6 dates it really feels like a ‘women make rules for betas and break them for alphas’ situation and her desire for me is being negotiated in terms of me jumping through all sorts of hoops I would have thought I’d passed by now.

An interesting observation with the 48 year old artist (who only dates younger guys) is that the longer that time goes on it’s like I’m developing post-nut clarity without the actual bedroom activities occurring. A few flags have emerged.

While she is attractive she is carrying weight. Not excessive but she needs to lose about 10kg which to her credit she is trying to do. I was looking at her from behind and thinking it just wasn’t boner inducing at all.

Having lost a child at birth she has invested all her maternal instincts into two cats who she dotes over obsessively. My ex wife was like that with her dog and I know that you simply can’t compete with a full on pet mum and you will always be second.

She does not own her own home and rents looking after her elderly mother. While she has $100k in savings for a house she basically saves up all her money to travel overseas every few years. With house prices where I live being $700-$800k and at her age I think she is deluding herself into thinking home ownership is in her future. She shops at thrift stores, runs on the smell of an oily rag between trips.

She is very forgetful. Can’t pay attention to details and life admin stuff. Has forgotten to pay her taxes for the last 3 years. Organised a gig date for us only on the afternoon of the gig to tell me she got the date completely wrong and forgot to get a ticket for me ( got one at the last minute). She thinks she may have a form of attention deficit disorder and I agree.

I’ve seen her house where she rents. It’s very run down and if I had to spend any extended amount of time there I’d slit my wrists.

Her social media shows her as very self absorbed. Lots of past travel photos and posts of just her talking about herself doing mundane stuff like it’s actually interesting. I kind of think it’s kind of attention getting as she frequently responds to comments. Her last posts were how hot it was and a picture of her cat. Prefers to post to social media and respond to comments rather than replying in detail or at all to the few times I reply to her texts or reach out (only once or twice a week, I keep texting to a minimum).

The mum living with her means weird vibes if it ever progresses to the bedroom at her place.

I’m paying for all the dates so far. It’s starting to bother me as she makes no effort to contribute given her financial position. Taking it for granted. And I have created her to some pretty good dates. Taking the lead in organising them, seeing what she likes etc. even a mystery date thst

I think going forward I’m going to treat her as a plate, back off on any emotional investment I’m feeling towards her, cheapen the dates as much as possible, choose more what I want to do on those dates rather than always choosing what she wants (art stuff) and prioritise the Latina and the other girls who are showing more interest. I would still like to progress things to the bedroom with her but not at any price to my bank balance or emotions.

12 dates will be my hard limit before I will directly raise physical compatibility and chemistry with her if things don’t progress before that. Don’t want to appear insecure or needy but I reckon that’s a reasonable timeframe.

Man, it was cringe to read. You're wasting your time with the 58. She's not interested in you physically.
You're her beta male friend who takes her here and there and fills some empty boxes in her schedule, for free.

 

[DJ Novice]

Potentially. Won’t last for too much longer and the dates will be cheaper as I’ve said above. All good practice. Other plates in play.

 

[DJ Novice]

She is an 8 or 9 to me so happy to see what happens for the next few dates. But I agree if she was a 7 or less then would have pulled the pin by now. Never been with an 8 or 9 so keen to experience this if possible. But time is running out.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

My prediction:

As soon as the gravy train starts slowing down, so will she.

Ask her to go Dutch and see how fast she disappears.

Also, she's probably 20-30 lbs overweight. That's no 8, brother, and what fackin difference does it make if she's a c-section? You're not getting any anyway.

A loose twaat is loose, c-section or not; it's genetic and fitness based. I know chicks that had three kids and are tighter than women who've had none and are younger. Also, how many Ds she's taken makes zero difference to the tightness of her snatch - again, a myth. Yes, if the dude is like a coke can, she will dilate while she's having sex with him, but in a few weeks, it's back down to normal.

Your hot latina is sneating.

 

[DJ Novice]

My prediction:

As soon as the gravy train starts slowing down, so will she.

Ask her to go Dutch and see how fast she disappears.

Also, she's probably 20-30 lbs overweight. That's no 8, brother, and what fackin difference does it make if she's a c-section? You're not getting any anyway.

A loose **** is loose, c-section or not; it's genetic and fitness based. I know chicks that had three kids and are tighter than women who've had none and are younger. Also, how many Ds she's taken makes zero difference to the tightness of her snatch - again, a myth. Yes, if the dude is like a coke can, she will dilate while she's having sex with him, but in a few weeks, it's back down to normal.

Your hot latina is sneating.

 

[DJ Novice]

Thanks for the advice Pierce.

The 58 year old artist is putting out mixed signals but unless I change the dynamic I won’t know if she’s just into the gravy train of free meals and experiences.

The consensus from my mates and other girls is that 6 dates is more than enough time to work out if there’s chemistry or not.

We are catching up on Saturday night for the usual dinner/arts thing.

Next Wednesday I intend to ask her that weekend to dinner at my place or an event followed by dinner at my place. Or should it just be dinner?

If she baulks at dinner then I’ll just say ‘That’s ok, just let me know when you want to catch up again’ and put the ball in her court to organise something.

If she does want to do something then I won’t be paying anymore and I will say I’m busy if it’s the usual arts/dinner thing and not something more intimate. If she ghosts then there’s my answer.

We do have a date in April for a concert that I already have tickets for but I can always take someone else.

I’m seeing the 46 year old El Salvadoran girl for a first date on Sunday and the prospects are much higher as I can tell her enthusiasm towards me is more genuine.

Thoughts? Advice on the next steps would be much appreciated. I’m new to this and even though you read about being used by women just for free experiences when you’re actually in this position it’s not always easy to recognise and deal with it, especially when the woman is very attractive.

I don’t want to become a simp but I think I’m heading in that direction or probably already there and that needs to change immediately.

 

[DJ Novice]

I also could ask her back to my place on Saturday night for a drink or coffee. The event will finish about 9:30pm.

 

[Mertz09]

My prediction:

As soon as the gravy train starts slowing down, so will she.

Ask her to go Dutch and see how fast she disappears.

Also, she's probably 20-30 lbs overweight. That's no 8, brother, and what fackin difference does it make if she's a c-section? You're not getting any anyway.

A loose twaat is loose, c-section or not; it's genetic and fitness based. I know chicks that had three kids and are tighter than women who've had none and are younger. Also, how many Ds she's taken makes zero difference to the tightness of her snatch - again, a myth. Yes, if the dude is like a coke can, she will dilate while she's having sex with him, but in a few weeks, it's back down to normal.

Your hot latina is sneating.

“A loose twaat is loose, c-section or not; it's genetic and fitness based. I know chicks that had three kids and are tighter than women who've had none and are younger.”
I 100% agree.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I also could ask her back to my place on Saturday night for a drink or coffee. The event will finish about 9:30pm.

Has she ever been to your place? If not ask her over and escalate, if she says no, there’s your answer. If she agrees, then you have to escalate, that too will provide an answer.

If she’s been there before and you haven’t escalated, then she thinks it’s safe that you won’t so she will come over. You must escalate now, PHYSICALLY.

Stop wasting money on her!

 

[DJ Novice]

Message received.

Will let you know how it goes down.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Message received.

Will let you know how it goes down.

Is she a rabid Trump hater? This is usually a good tell of a fussy woman.

 

[DJ Novice]

She’s left

I just think she’s the first girl I’ve dated that’s way out of my league in terms of attractiveness and I’m just not escalating and simping. I’ve never done this with anyone else so it’s a humble learning experience.

For the sake of potentially developing a severe case of oneitis I need to take Pierce’s advice and escalate. She will or she won’t and that’s the answer. If it’s a hard no then I need to cut her off and move on.

 

[DJ Novice]

*left wing.