Thanks for the insights guys. Much appreciated.
I’m actually seeing the 46 year old Latina on Sunday for a first date after a couple of weeks of texting. Initial interest level far exceeds that of the 48 year old artist after 6 dates in terms of text interaction, vibe etc.
I’m really conscious of falling to oneitis. After 6 dates it really feels like a ‘women make rules for betas and break them for alphas’ situation and her desire for me is being negotiated in terms of me jumping through all sorts of hoops I would have thought I’d passed by now.
An interesting observation with the 48 year old artist (who only dates younger guys) is that the longer that time goes on it’s like I’m developing post-nut clarity without the actual bedroom activities occurring. A few flags have emerged.
While she is attractive she is carrying weight. Not excessive but she needs to lose about 10kg which to her credit she is trying to do. I was looking at her from behind and thinking it just wasn’t boner inducing at all.
Having lost a child at birth she has invested all her maternal instincts into two cats who she dotes over obsessively. My ex wife was like that with her dog and I know that you simply can’t compete with a full on pet mum and you will always be second.
She does not own her own home and rents looking after her elderly mother. While she has $100k in savings for a house she basically saves up all her money to travel overseas every few years. With house prices where I live being $700-$800k and at her age I think she is deluding herself into thinking home ownership is in her future. She shops at thrift stores, runs on the smell of an oily rag between trips.
She is very forgetful. Can’t pay attention to details and life admin stuff. Has forgotten to pay her taxes for the last 3 years. Organised a gig date for us only on the afternoon of the gig to tell me she got the date completely wrong and forgot to get a ticket for me ( got one at the last minute). She thinks she may have a form of attention deficit disorder and I agree.
I’ve seen her house where she rents. It’s very run down and if I had to spend any extended amount of time there I’d slit my wrists.
Her social media shows her as very self absorbed. Lots of past travel photos and posts of just her talking about herself doing mundane stuff like it’s actually interesting. I kind of think it’s kind of attention getting as she frequently responds to comments. Her last posts were how hot it was and a picture of her cat. Prefers to post to social media and respond to comments rather than replying in detail or at all to the few times I reply to her texts or reach out (only once or twice a week, I keep texting to a minimum).
The mum living with her means weird vibes if it ever progresses to the bedroom at her place.
I’m paying for all the dates so far. It’s starting to bother me as she makes no effort to contribute given her financial position. Taking it for granted. And I have created her to some pretty good dates. Taking the lead in organising them, seeing what she likes etc. even a mystery date thst
I think going forward I’m going to treat her as a plate, back off on any emotional investment I’m feeling towards her, cheapen the dates as much as possible, choose more what I want to do on those dates rather than always choosing what she wants (art stuff) and prioritise the Latina and the other girls who are showing more interest. I would still like to progress things to the bedroom with her but not at any price to my bank balance or emotions.
12 dates will be my hard limit before I will directly raise physical compatibility and chemistry with her if things don’t progress before that. Don’t want to appear insecure or needy but I reckon that’s a reasonable timeframe.
I’m actually seeing the 46 year old Latina on Sunday for a first date after a couple of weeks of texting. Initial interest level far exceeds that of the 48 year old artist after 6 dates in terms of text interaction, vibe etc.
I’m really conscious of falling to oneitis. After 6 dates it really feels like a ‘women make rules for betas and break them for alphas’ situation and her desire for me is being negotiated in terms of me jumping through all sorts of hoops I would have thought I’d passed by now.
An interesting observation with the 48 year old artist (who only dates younger guys) is that the longer that time goes on it’s like I’m developing post-nut clarity without the actual bedroom activities occurring. A few flags have emerged.
While she is attractive she is carrying weight. Not excessive but she needs to lose about 10kg which to her credit she is trying to do. I was looking at her from behind and thinking it just wasn’t boner inducing at all.
Having lost a child at birth she has invested all her maternal instincts into two cats who she dotes over obsessively. My ex wife was like that with her dog and I know that you simply can’t compete with a full on pet mum and you will always be second.
She does not own her own home and rents looking after her elderly mother. While she has $100k in savings for a house she basically saves up all her money to travel overseas every few years. With house prices where I live being $700-$800k and at her age I think she is deluding herself into thinking home ownership is in her future. She shops at thrift stores, runs on the smell of an oily rag between trips.
She is very forgetful. Can’t pay attention to details and life admin stuff. Has forgotten to pay her taxes for the last 3 years. Organised a gig date for us only on the afternoon of the gig to tell me she got the date completely wrong and forgot to get a ticket for me ( got one at the last minute). She thinks she may have a form of attention deficit disorder and I agree.
I’ve seen her house where she rents. It’s very run down and if I had to spend any extended amount of time there I’d slit my wrists.
Her social media shows her as very self absorbed. Lots of past travel photos and posts of just her talking about herself doing mundane stuff like it’s actually interesting. I kind of think it’s kind of attention getting as she frequently responds to comments. Her last posts were how hot it was and a picture of her cat. Prefers to post to social media and respond to comments rather than replying in detail or at all to the few times I reply to her texts or reach out (only once or twice a week, I keep texting to a minimum).
The mum living with her means weird vibes if it ever progresses to the bedroom at her place.
I’m paying for all the dates so far. It’s starting to bother me as she makes no effort to contribute given her financial position. Taking it for granted. And I have created her to some pretty good dates. Taking the lead in organising them, seeing what she likes etc. even a mystery date thst
I think going forward I’m going to treat her as a plate, back off on any emotional investment I’m feeling towards her, cheapen the dates as much as possible, choose more what I want to do on those dates rather than always choosing what she wants (art stuff) and prioritise the Latina and the other girls who are showing more interest. I would still like to progress things to the bedroom with her but not at any price to my bank balance or emotions.
12 dates will be my hard limit before I will directly raise physical compatibility and chemistry with her if things don’t progress before that. Don’t want to appear insecure or needy but I reckon that’s a reasonable timeframe.
