Getting comfortable

[soulforge]

Who said you have to open up more?

Once a man has slept with a woman, her asking a man to “open up more” = “give me more information about yourself so I can understand your weaknesses and vulnerabilities and crush you when the time is ripe.”

A woman can’t physically over power a man, so the only way she play the game is by emotionally over powering him, If a man doesn’t disclose his emotions, she’s got nothing.



Who the hell said you have to communicate more? A man should communicate as much as needed to sleep with a woman. Nothing more, even when he is in a LTR.

If an LTR is so difficult, why are you doing it? Come on bro, for someone who has no difficulty getting plates, your logic is not very good here.

Keep it simple, let her do most of the communicating, don't be vulnerable around her,

If only you knew how much fun killing time could be, you wouldn't be so cavalier.

And what makes you think I don't know what killing time with woman is? I've fvcked a bunch of woman, killed time with them, then moved the fuk on.

You're not the only dude who has experienced killing time with woman.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I actually respect your approach that works for you specifically because you do not lead women on and you are not riddled with desperation, as some on here are.

Another thing is that I already have one ex-wife who is the mother of my two children. Don't need more like that.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And what makes you think I don't know what killing time with woman is?

You seem kind of miserly about doing anything with women.

 

[soulforge]

You seem kind of miserly about doing anything with women.

Huh why? I'm selective about who I smash in this moment in time. But I have smashed literally countless women, to the point where I don't recall how many in my time.

If that is miserly.. then I am guessing you are laying hb10s every single day.

Relax bro.. chest beating on here isn't a good look.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Huh why? I'm selective about who I smash in this moment in time. But I have smashed literally countless women, to the point where I don't recall how many in my time.

It's in the way you talk about women. You don't seem to regard them for more than 'smashing'.

If that is miserly.. then I am guessing you are laying hb10s every single day.

No, that's what so miserly about your language: you seem to rate women on their aesthetics and all you care about is whether you 'smash' them.

Relax bro.. chest beating on here isn't a good look.

Projecting much? I'm not the one talking about 'smashing' so many women I cannot keep count.

 

[soulforge]

It's in the way you talk about women. You don't seem to regard them for more than 'smashing'.


No, that's what so miserly about your language: you seem to rate women on their aesthetics and all you care about is whether you 'smash' them.


Projecting much? I'm not the one talking about 'smashing' so many women I cannot keep count.

Nice try but I see through your tactics almost female level manipulation on your part.

This is your original statement

"If only you knew how much fun killing time could be, you wouldn't be so cavalier"

Your statement implies that I do not know how much fun killing time with woman could be.. I countered your foolish statement by making you aware that I have had sex with many woman on a casual basis (killing time)

This wasn't me flexing, or making a bold statement from within an echo chamber, it was in response to your arrogant statement.

If only I knew? Don't assume your the only one getting laid dude, it's not a flex that you put your peepe inside a woman.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If only I knew? Don't assume your the only one getting laid dude, it's not a flex that you put your peepe inside a woman.

Again, your only relation to having fun with women seems to revolve around intercourse using juvenile schoolyard terms.

 

[Mertz09]

Same age as you and similar situation although I have the problem the other way around

When I am attracted to a woman and theres some mutual interest back I tend to either over play my hand OR reveal way too much too fast

But once ive fvcked a chick a couple of times I tend to take total control especially as we enter relationship terriority , once I know I have her I'm able to emotionally withdraw and always keep her at arms length

women despite what they say much prefer the idea of losing you compared to the idea of you being complacent and actually keeping you which is odd but yea probably something to do with the female primal brain

As long as your not too emotionally dependent on her and keep focusing on improving yourself she will never leave

Same age as you and similar situation although I have the problem the other way around

When I am attracted to a woman and theres some mutual interest back I tend to either over play my hand OR reveal way too much too fast

But once ive fvcked a chick a couple of times I tend to take total control especially as we enter relationship terriority , once I know I have her I'm able to emotionally withdraw and always keep her at arms length

women despite what they say much prefer the idea of losing you compared to the idea of you being complacent and actually keeping you which is odd but yea probably something to do with the female primal brain

As long as your not too emotionally dependent on her and keep focusing on improving yourself she will never leave

“A

Same age as you and similar situation although I have the problem the other way around

When I am attracted to a woman and theres some mutual interest back I tend to either over play my hand OR reveal way too much too fast

But once ive fvcked a chick a couple of times I tend to take total control especially as we enter relationship terriority , once I know I have her I'm able to emotionally withdraw and always keep her at arms length

women despite what they say much prefer the idea of losing you compared to the idea of you being complacent and actually keeping you which is odd but yea probably something to do with the female primal brain

As long as your not too emotionally dependent on her and keep focusing on improving yourself she will never leave

“A woman should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life; never the focus of it.”

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

The game changes as you move from keeping your options open & non exclusivity to being committed. Honestly that transition is not always smooth. You’ll have your awkward moments here & there. I’m kind of with @Bingo-Player on this one. You’ve got to be considerate of her, but you come first. Your life goals and self respect come first. If that is not how you prioritize then your frame is always going to crumble.

If you come first then placating a woman will never be your purpose in life, and women will respect you and respond to you if you respect yourself first.

It’s easy to wear a mask and be emotionally unavailable and not let anybody in. In fact, many women who are drawn to that are damaged themselves and unable to emotionally connect either, so the aloof man is mysterious and yet safe because it means they don’t have to be real either and people keep walls up and use others rather than connecting.

Women who themselves cannot connect get scarce if a guy starts showing emotion. It’s like he’s gone wobbly and they scatter.

Which begs the question of what sort of women are you used to juggling? Women who are relationship caliber generally are not going to tolerate plate status very long.

So I’d advise close examination of what you attract and who you are trying to LTR with.

You want an open hearted woman who has an appreciation for your emotions and your humanity. And so you don’t need to be Marcus Aurelius in stature or stoic ness, but you don’t want to be an emotional mess either.

In December last year the woman my husband was in a LTR with before they broke up and he met me…she died of cancer. She hardly had told anyone she had cancer as it turned out. She was terminal when it was discovered and she was dead 2 months later. Tragic and shocking. My husband hadn’t had contact with her in more than 2 years but she is the first person intimately close to him in his life to die. He seemed somewhat contemplative about it; we went to her remembrance together and he shared some special moments about her. But he was pretty tight lipped.

Two days later he woke up literally sobbing. All this sorrow and pent up pain came pouring out. And for a few hours he was a mess. It was a grieving moment; a human moment. He wished he’d been more kind to her, he wished they had spoken (of course he hadn’t because he had moved on etc.). But it was tough in that moment for him.

This man is typically IDGAF about things, but he has let me in and I adore him for that. Even though I did not care for his ex he had at one time. In that moment I simply let him cry, let him talk about it; I listened and supported. It was a time to be a good wife by being a good human being.

What you want in a potential marriage prospect are those sorts of qualities. A woman who draws close emotionally as you draw closer. It’s a dance to be sure and at times we all misstep. You want a woman who is understanding and forgiving of your imperfections; of your humanity.

Notice those qualities are not shallow and have little to do with looks. Find an attractive girl, sure, but look deeper. Shallow self absorbed women are not the ticket when life’s tough things happen. And with a family they happen.

 

[Bingo-Player]

“A

“A woman should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life; never the focus of it.”

Unfortunately there are a lot of men out there without any real purpose

I mean men used to go to war , they used to hunt , they build cities they used to colonise parts of the world

now they are playing video games , going shopping , watching sports , gambling , watching P*rn

None of it has any real purpose so when a woman comes along all of a sudden she becomes his purpose

His sole purpose , I don't need to tell anyone what happens when a woman becomes a mans sole reason for existence

 

[Manure Spherian]

His sole purpose , I don't need to tell anyone what happens when a woman becomes a mans sole reason for existence

Do you think it’s hard to combat the red-pill message that box is the ultimate achievement of mankind?

Even a poster on here said a “true alpha” slays hard. Lmfao!

 

[Bingo-Player]

Do you think it’s hard to combat the red-pill message that box is the ultimate achievement of mankind?

Even a poster on here said a “true alpha” slays hard. Lmfao!

Pu$$y and female beauty is a powerful drug for a man makes us do stupid irational things

Some men are at the complete mercy of any pretty face .......this is dangerous

If a woman knows her beauty and sex has that much control over you , you're fvcked !

Everyday I am working to devalue female beauty within my mind I tell myself every day its common and absolutely everywhere ( which it is )

Once you master this mental state and free yourself from the need for a woman & pu$$y everything in the world is yours for the taking

And by default in this state you will find yourself drowning in pu$$y anyway

 

[SW15]

i am noticing a pattern here. Some background information: i am 31, workout 4-5x times a week, have no trouble getting plates and or ltrs, have good friends and a very good job.

My problem is this: when i am spinning a lot of plates and/or in life in general when i am single i have an abundance mindset. I honestly have the idgaf attitude wich seems too attracts women. But after a while of spinning plates i drop them for the one with the most potential for LTR, mind you i wanna have a family someday... Everything is always going great in the first period of the relationship. I always have doubts, focus on my mission and goals etc. But after a while it seems like i get too comfortable, i very slowly lose my frame (although thats what i think), i start too slip up a bit etc. Then the tables turn and everything goes downhill and i get a little oneitis.

Any opinions?

Keep spinning plates and don't commit to one LTR. That keeps abundance mindset going.

You fail to understand that what gets you into a relationship is not the same thing that actually maintains the relationship long term.

While beta males aren't good at initially attracting women, some of them are actually good at keeping them going if they are able to get into one. These might not be the best relationships. Most of them will be mediocre to subpar. The woman in the LTR with/married to the beta male can feel a sense of emotional security, which she likes. She doesn't feel sexually fulfilled in a lot of cases though.

 

[pipeman84]

In December last year the woman my husband was in a LTR with before they broke up and he met me…she died of cancer. She hardly had told anyone she had cancer as it turned out. She was terminal when it was discovered and she was dead 2 months later. Tragic and shocking. My husband hadn’t had contact with her in more than 2 years but she is the first person intimately close to him in his life to die. He seemed somewhat contemplative about it; we went to her remembrance together and he shared some special moments about her. But he was pretty tight lipped.

Two days later he woke up literally sobbing. All this sorrow and pent up pain came pouring out. And for a few hours he was a mess. It was a grieving moment; a human moment. He wished he’d been more kind to her, he wished they had spoken (of course he hadn’t because he had moved on etc.). But it was tough in that moment for him.

This man is typically IDGAF about things, but he has let me in and I adore him for that. Even though I did not care for his ex he had at one time. In that moment I simply let him cry, let him talk about it; I listened and supported. It was a time to be a good wife by being a good human being.

What you want in a potential marriage prospect are those sorts of qualities. A woman who draws close emotionally as you draw closer. It’s a dance to be sure and at times we all misstep. You want a woman who is understanding and forgiving of your imperfections; of your humanity.

This example just reinforces the fact that your marriage is atypical in the sense that you, the woman, are the masculine figure of the family. You're older 8yrs older than him, divorced with kids, have more financial resources than him so it's not really a surprise.

If a guy who has the traditional role of being the leader of the relationship behaves like that, it's like a 7.5 magnitude earthquake ... it seriously damages the building or maybe even flattens it. You have a weak moment, go take a long walk, go for a drive alone in you car like Stallone in Rocky 4, whatever ... just don't use the woman you're supposed to lead and be a rock for as your mommy and pacifier.

 

[Manure Spherian]

This example just reinforces the fact that your marriage is atypical in the sense that you, the woman, are the masculine figure of the family. You're older 8yrs older than him, divorced with kids, have more financial resources than him so it's not really a surprise.

If a guy who has the traditional role of being the leader of the relationship behaves like that, it's like a 7.5 magnitude earthquake ... it seriously damages the building or maybe even flattens it. You have a weak moment, go take a long walk, go for a drive alone in you car like Stallone in Rocky 4, whatever ... just don't use the woman you're supposed to lead and be a rock for as your mommy and pacifier.

While you do have a point, we are not robots and I wouldn’t want a marriage in which I have to be a stone-cold robot. I have cried over deaths and misdoings that induced guilt and sadness in me in front of my wife. It’s not a common occurrence, but it has happened and it will happen again because bad things happen. And if one has kids, bad stuff is going to happen to them, more or less.

Would you really want a wife who you can’t show your normal emotions. Again, I’m not talking about Jordan Peterson-crying frequency.

 

[pipeman84]

While you do have a point, we are not robots and I wouldn’t want a marriage in which I have to be a stone-cold robot. I have cried over deaths and misdoings that induced guilt and sadness in me in front of my wife. It’s not a common occurrence, but it has happened and it will happen again because bad things happen. And if one has kids, bad stuff is going to happen to them, more or less.

Would you really want a wife who you can’t show your normal emotions. Again, I’m not talking about Jordan Peterson-crying frequency.

I didn't suggest to be a robot. Of course you can show anger, sadness, melancholy etc ... but it's firstly a matter of degree and secondly knowing yourself enough to know your triggers and how long it takes to get back to balance and act accordingly. Your wife shouldn't be your punching bag or unwilling listener of 30min of swearing in case of anger or mommy/pacifier for the other 2 emotions.

I wouldn't want a wife to see the worst parts of me, the ones I'm working on. There are no benefits, only downsides.
While sitting on the toilet is normal, I wouldn't want a wife to stand there and watch me as if I was a child in potty training.

 

[BeExcellent]

No it’s not an open door policy on the WC at our house, lol.

And no I’m not the masculine presence in the marriage either, much as some here like to make out because yes we are outliers. It is what it is.

In a marriage you can’t front if you expect to remain married.