Help, dating 2 girls

manfromitaly

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I wanted to ask for advice, I saw 2 girls, I got on well with the first one, we didn't kiss, but I think she likes me and we should see each other again soon.

I already knew the second girl, I had lunch at her house, she was a little embarrassed but after a few glasses of wine she melted, we kissed and she asked me to stop and sleep at her place, I slept there, we had sex.

The the problem is that she's already too attached to me, she likes me a lot, unfortunately I'm very affectionate and I wouldn't want to disappoint her in the sense that I'm not very sure about having a serious relationship with her.

Unfortunately it happens that the way I behave gives the impression that I want to be serious, I like being intimate with a woman, but I change my mind easily. What should I do, it scares me that he has high expectations of me.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Unfortunately it happens that the way I behave gives the impression that I want to be serious, I like being intimate with a woman, but I change my mind easily.
Limit the BF vibes.
 

manfromitaly

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A man that dates two women like he’s their boyfriend and pretends to be exclusive with them is a spineless pvssy. The correct way to date multiple women is let them know upfront that you are going to see other women and that’s how it is going to be.
I didn't even try to kiss the first girl in reality, with the second I drank and I got on well but the point is that her attachment worries me, I see her very taken with me and it scares me, I don't want to disappoint her, she's a good girl lass Honestly, I don't consider myself a *****, it's part of my way of behaving like this, I'm very instinctive
 

manfromitaly

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If I get along well with a girl I behave this way, because I'm like that, what can I do? I tried to make her understand that we were going too fast, she was very drunk, she used very strong words and I didn't feel like disappointing her, I was careful about what I said to her, I would hate to deceive her
 

manfromitaly

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The correct way of dating multiple women is by having fun with them and fvcking them good, and spooning if you like that. All that talk about bf & gf is more them to figure out and ask you, not you.


Why are you so scared of her getting attached to you? You're not responsible for nobody's feelings, she got attached, misunderstood you being loving with something more before having the exclusivity talk? Not your problem, stop being afraid of women.
Yes, you're right, if she gets attached I can't do anything about it, she used a lot of harsh words, she was very needy, it surprised me a little
 

Pierce Manhammer

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What if it’s 5 women?! And why do you care? Less cooch for you?

Assuming your thought process is: “if she thinks she’s in a monogamous LTR she won’t be available for me to fack”.

Otherwise why the strong reaction? (Asking for a friend) ;)

A man that dates two women like he’s their boyfriend and pretends to be exclusive with them is a spineless pvssy. The correct way to date multiple women is let them know upfront that you are going to see other women and that’s how it is going to be.
 
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Glassguy

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The correct way of dating multiple women is by having fun with them and fvcking them good, and spooning if you like that. All that talk about bf & gf is more them to figure out and ask you, not you.
Agreed. If you like being intimate vs jumping up and running out of her house after the deed has been done, so be it.

Any talk of a "relationship" should be initiated by her and only her. One doesnt have anything to do with other, as you are simply mirroring HER behavior in terms of intimacy.

What if it’s 5 women?!
Been there done that.....too much personal info to keep straight between the 5 of them and wayyyyy too much time to invest to keep 5 plates spinning!
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Agreed. If you like being intimate vs jumping up and running out of her house after the deed has been done, so be it.

Any talk of a "relationship" should be initiated by her and only her. One doesnt have anything to do with other, as you are simply mirroring HER behavior in terms of intimacy.


Been there done that.....too much personal info to keep straight between the 5 of them and wayyyyy too much time to invest to keep 5 plates spinning!
To each their own.
As has been said by folks much smarter than me:
“We rise to the levels of our own incompetence…”
 

Gamisch

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I wanted to ask for advice, I saw 2 girls, I got on well with the first one, we didn't kiss, but I think she likes me and we should see each other again soon.

I already knew the second girl, I had lunch at her house, she was a little embarrassed but after a few glasses of wine she melted, we kissed and she asked me to stop and sleep at her place, I slept there, we had sex.

The the problem is that she's already too attached to me, she likes me a lot, unfortunately I'm very affectionate and I wouldn't want to disappoint her in the sense that I'm not very sure about having a serious relationship with her.

Unfortunately it happens that the way I behave gives the impression that I want to be serious, I like being intimate with a woman, but I change my mind easily. What should I do, it scares me that he has high expectations of me.
Very recognizable.

The thing is, you seem to be very aware of the fact that the attached woman wants a relationship. Period. Mind you, despite all the tough talk in the manosphere most (95%)men play the " boyfriend game " and most women, even the biggest slvts, wont admit they are and go for the relationship route.( This is how even prostitutes end up with boyfriends..)

When a man reasons like this he is still operating from scarcity. Because with one fish you'll catch more fish...zero times zero = zero.

Basically you are already feeling like a cheater. Not so much fun when the tables turn, you're going along with the attachment only to find out she dates another dude on the down low...

** sounds like you want to, or should commit. Like, if you tell her you see other women, she'll be gone

** i recently was in this situation. The woman immediately blocked me.

** something to be said about obtaining the dark traits. Back in the days this whole " honesty upfront " thing would be laughed at. Unless you're a man of SIGNIFICANT value hsrdly any woman will a accept this deal. The real players move in silence.

Be smart, stfu about other women and play the game. You have a backup plan, great. Don't be too emotional about it. Just remember: this might happen to YOU ,and if it does don't complain about it...
 

CornbreadFed

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The correct way of dating multiple women is by having fun with them and fvcking them good, and spooning if you like that. All that talk about bf & gf is more them to figure out and ask you, not you.
If a girl likes you then she will bring it up. In the event if she does, OP will either have to tell one girl to pvss off or continue dating both girls in secret. The second outcome is usually chosen 99% of the time.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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OP will either have to tell one girl to pvss off or continue dating both girls in secret.
Or openly keep dating both of them, promising neither any exclusivity and let them leave if they want to.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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That has to be done at the start of the relationship.
Yes, ideally you have to tell a date that you won't go exclusive.
I do that. Most women understand and don't have a problem with it. The ones who are looking for exclusivity have to look elsewhere.

Op has treated his girls as an exclusive gf from the start.
No, he 'behaved like a bf', but unless openly promising exclusivity, he hasn't treated them as 'exclusive'. If that is how they interpret his behaviour, that's not really his problem, is it?
 

manfromitaly

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update on the situation: I left this girl alone, reflecting on our meeting, I came to understand that she has serious problems with alcohol, and from what she had told me I deduce that she has also had problems with anorexia in the past, ergo a person like this is better to leave her alone, I risk putting myself in bad situations and I don't like it,

I'm trying again with the first girl but it seems that she isn't in a good situation either, she broke up with her boyfriend a short time ago, our meeting went well, but I think she's confused, from experience when I've met girls in similar situations I've never accomplished anything, we're writing to each other but she seems to avoid talking about the next date, I think it's better to leave this one alone.
 

KevinRyman22

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You are a beta male if you think the way OP does.

Always maintain a fram eo fknowing the girls like you and want you-- but be receptive to why they act a certain way.. otherwis eu will fumble them.

If you dont understand womans dynamics, i suggest asking someone whos dated far more women than you
 

manfromitaly

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You are a beta male if you think the way OP does.

Always maintain a fram eo fknowing the girls like you and want you-- but be receptive to why they act a certain way.. otherwis eu will fumble them.

If you dont understand womans dynamics, i suggest asking someone whos dated far more women than you
Sorry, I'm Italian and I don't understand what OP means. Was it referring to me?

That said, why would I be a beta man? Because don't I want to date an alcoholic? Or because I don't want to keep up with a confused girl who plays difficult? I'm not in this world to solve women's problems, I make my moves and based on the situation I go further.
 

manfromitaly

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If you answered based on what I wrote in the first post, the problem is already solved, I simply didn't realize I was dealing with a person with problems, because a normal person doesn't behave like that.
 

CBear

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You are a beta male if you think the way OP does.

Always maintain a fram eo fknowing the girls like you and want you-- but be receptive to why they act a certain way.. otherwis eu will fumble them.

If you dont understand womans dynamics, i suggest asking someone whos dated far more women than you
That was a good job of saying absolutely nothing after "You are a beta male if you think the way OP does". I don't think OP is beta. He stuck to his guns and knew when to back out. Most guys don't know how to do that. The only thing he'd need to work on is not putting so much pressure on disappointing any girl he's involved with this fast to the point where he's at an internal conflict and has to post on here after going out for a date or 2.
 
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