Girls moving in

[BackInTheGame78]

Anyone on the fence about moving in with a girl have a hard think about it, I have my own place and have been with my girlfriend for 4 years, she asked if shr could move in to swe how we got on, well it's been 3 months and I feel its not working out, things she never bothered about before are bothering her now, treating the house like its hers trying to change things. Anyone been in this situation? Think I'm going to have to tell her to move back into her parents house I don't think she will take it too well. Andy

This shows she isn't the right woman for you and you are both wasting your time at this point.

You know it, she knows it, who will be the first person to address the elephant in the room?

 

[DreamAgain]

This shows she isn't the right woman for you and you are both wasting your time at this point.

You know it, she knows it, who will be the first person to address the elephant in the room?

People get complacent in their lives of mediocrity.

 

[SW15]

People get complacent in their lives of mediocrity.

This is why romantic relationships often last 10+ years when they were really only good for the first 3-5 years or so. Both men and women stay in relationships too long. The men who stay in relationships too long tend to be beta males.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

This is why romantic relationships often last 10+ years when they were really only good for the first 3-5 years or so. Both men and women stay in relationships too long. The men who stay in relationships too long tend to be beta males.

I agree w/this in theory. I do question the sustainability over time. At some point it doesn't seem to be sustainable to keep cycling through chicks - like once a guy is 50+ will he consistently pull hot young things? Cuz let's face it, that's what we all like. Will he even have the energy?

 

[Millard Fillmore]

There is an Iron Rule of Tomassi about this exact situation.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

Don't meant to keep quoting you but this Rollo quote I have always questioned as well. Again I understand the spirit behind it - don't play house with plates.

I don't get the strict adherence to marriage though, it smacks of Disney romance and it's always puzzled me how some Sosuavers are so attached to the idea. I'm not badmouthing marriage per se, just that it has to happen to cohabitate. Not to mention Rollo was locked into marriage when he wrote it.

 

[RickTheToad]

There is an Iron Rule of Tomassi about this exact situation.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

Shacking Up

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4 NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months. You are utterly powerless in this situation. NEVE…

therationalmale.com

I recommend you read this article.

You've likely messed your current situation up in a lot of ways.

Moving in with a girlfriend is generally not a good idea as that article explains better than I would be able to explain it.

I've not lived with any of my girlfriends. There were times in the past where I thought about it but never did it. I'm glad I didn't do it.

Not for nothing, but Rollo basically breaks every "rule" he wrote about. Not 100% sure how relevant all of his "rules" are these days. He should prob. consider dropping his Rollo Tomassi gimmick since most people know his real name nowadays. It's just becoming hard to give him props when Rollo, George Miller, still goes by this ridiculous moniker.

The basic rules, the SS enforces; are generally still in effect. However, everything is on a case-by-case basis. Dudes need to be fluid in their interactions with the females these days.

 

[SW15]

I understand the spirit behind it - don't play house with plates.

I don't get the strict adherence to marriage though, it smacks of Disney romance and it's always puzzled me how some Sosuavers are so attached to the idea. I'm not badmouthing marriage per se, just that it has to happen to cohabitate. Not to mention Rollo was locked into marriage when he wrote it.

I think the general idea is that it is better to go fully into marriage instead of some half azzed marriage light type thing in cohabitation.

Don't play house with plates is a good idea.

This is why romantic relationships often last 10+ years when they were really only good for the first 3-5 years or so. Both men and women stay in relationships too long. The men who stay in relationships too long tend to be beta males.

I agree w/this in theory. I do question the sustainability over time. At some point it doesn't seem to be sustainable to keep cycling through chicks - like once a guy is 50+ will he consistently pull hot young things? Cuz let's face it, that's what we all like. Will he even have the energy?

Men 50+ won't be consistently pulling hot, young things.

Men 30+ who find themselves single will typically be dating mediocre to subpar women close to their own ages. Guys in their 30s/40s/50s cycling through women every few years are cycling through women in their 30s/40s/50s. This is a smaller subset of men in their 30s/40s/50s.

The typical pattern is something more like this....

Guy gets married somewhere between ages 26-32. That marriage fails within 5-12 years. If it doesn't fail, it's a reduced sex, often passionless marriage and that's not a good outcome either. If divorce happens, So you have a guy who is 35-44 getting back in dating, often as a single dad. He'll typically re-marry within 5 years of his divorce. His second marriage might also fail in about 5-10 years too or it's another crappy passionless marriage. The cycle goes on.

The guys don't follow this typical model fall into a few different categories.

There are guys that are long term serial monogamists but never marry. They tend to cycle through women every 1-5 years into middle to old age, often times not having children. There are way fewer of these men that the men who get married. I'm closer to this type of man as I've gotten to 40 living some combination of a player and serial monogamist type lifestyle over the past 20-25 years. The typical serial monogamist guy is dating a woman close to his own age. Few men are able to pull women 10+ years younger when they are 35+.

The player types somewhat resemble the serial monogamist types. Some of the player types can rely on money to carry them at 35+ when money/status have a more influential role in SMV than looks alone. Even some players can't get women 10+ years younger when they are 35+.

Then, there are the non-monogamous guys. Non-monogamy guys can resemble players. Non-monogamous guys have non-monogamous women. Often, the non-monogamous women are having more sex. This is the realm of swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and so on. This is a more complicated world.

 

[Scaramouche]

I agree w/this in theory. I do question the sustainability over time. At some point it doesn't seem to be sustainable to keep cycling through chicks - like once a guy is 50+ will he consistently pull hot young things? Cuz let's face it, that's what we all like. Will he even have the energy?

Hi Millard,
Yes you are right,but a Philanderer will modify/evolve his strategies over time to suit his changing energy levels...I was pretty good until about 72-73 when a sharp decline started...Though my Core Relationship,despite SW13's gloomy predictions is still very active after nearly 20 years,the Old Plates have gradually morphed into friends that you visit maybe every month or simply faded away...It has been particularly trying for me as one of my principal attractions is a cornucopia of skills...How I dread one dear Girl who calls me every time 10.000 kms has turned over on her speedo,Hi Scarra can you come over and change my Oil?....One very dear Lady rang me a while back,Hi Scarra my Son (Who Is A bit Crazy)came visiting,he has punched a hole in my wall and pulled a Towel Rail Off,can you please help me?
But I am just getting too Old for it,after my Visit to the Philippines three years ago,not only was my Prvick needing a Splint,but I was so shagged out I went to bed for a week solid...Gather Rosebuds While ye may LOL.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

The typical serial monogamist guy is dating a woman close to his own age. Few men are able to pull women 10+ years younger when they are 35+.

This is where I've been an exception. My gf is 17 years younger (I'm in my upper 40s) and since my 30s have dated generally a decade younger with some exceptions. So that's probably why I wonder about it - but as long as I keep getting good results I don't mind. I'll enjoy them like @Scaramouche said.

 

[Gamisch]

I don't see the point. How can you get a break from her when she lives with you. Maybe you lucked out but it just sounds like a nightmare with most women.

Anyone on the fence about moving in with a girl have a hard think about it, I have my own place and have been with my girlfriend for 4 years, she asked if shr could move in to swe how we got on, well it's been 3 months and I feel its not working out, things she never bothered about before are bothering her now, treating the house like its hers trying to change things. Anyone been in this situation? Think I'm going to have to tell her to move back into her parents house I don't think she will take it too well. Andy

Twice. Once with my babymomski and once with my other muse.

I kinda appreciated the switch up. Made me see women for what they really are. Nothing you say comes as a surprise to me..womien will move stuff, redecorate shyte. Yeah eventually the smell ,atmosphere ,density was all wrong.

That's when you start to lose frame real quickly. Needless to say that we men are willing to compromise, and women always say that they *ahum* are REALLY into those things. Also known as , its not your business how this house will be decorated. HAPPY WIFE happy LIFE!!!!

 

[Macadellic]

my previous three LTR were gf that moved in.

We broke up for various reasons
1 she took a job out of state and I’m not relocating
2 she wanted to get married and I wasn’t ready
3 I got burned too long of a story

all breakups

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Also, for the future, never consider moving in with a woman unless you are engaged or planning to get married soon.

That will at least allow you to see if you are compatible before you make what could turn out to be a very expensive mistake...both for the wedding and the inevitable divorce a few years later if you are incompatible when spending 24/7 together or close to it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

my previous three LTR were gf that moved in.

We broke up for various reasons
1 she took a job out of state and I’m not relocating
2 she wanted to get married and I wasn’t ready
3 I got burned too long of a story

all breakups

Hopefully by getting burned you don't mean when you urinated