Certain types of rejections piss me off and others don’t bother me at all

[Robert28]

I’d been talking to this girl for a week and set up a date to which she said “sure!” to. She had to work all last week and was going to get back to me with a night she had off when her schedule came out. Didn’t hear from her for a couple of days and then she text me “hey, I’m really sorry about this but I wanted to tell you that I went on a date with someone the other night and I want to see where this goes. I know that’s really crappy of me but I truly am sorry.” I just replied back with “no problem!” and left it at that. Didn’t make me mad or sad or anything, it made me actually appreciate how honest and empathetic she was in her rejection. She was probably shocked that I didn’t go off on her too, just said “no problem!” and left it at that.
Now, what pisses me off is women who aren’t interested but string you along by texting you “hey handsome, good morning…..blah blah” and when you try to set up a second or third date it’s always excuses come the time to sh!t or get off the pot. Or if a girl tries to friendzone me and keep me around for boyfriend favors. Women wouldn’t have near the issues with guys handling rejection if they were HONEST and EMPATHETIC like this other girl was. Yeah she accepted my date and it was a crappy outcome but she could have ghosted me and she didn’t, she even went as far as to let me know without me having to reach out to her. Just don’t jerk me around and play games with me and we will always be cool, but women can’t do that these days. It’s so rare these days to meet a genuine woman that this girl stood out because of this.

 

[Stanley]

So because of this first woman's forthcomingness you then compared and contrasted prior experiences with other women which in turn made you mad? Totally fair, in a way this girl made you realize how rare a quality like honesty is in dating. I had a similar experience with a girl that expressed accountability and apologized for her behavior. A trait I never experienced amongst women I was interested in and made me reflect as well.

Just gotta roll with it man, it isn't worth getting pissed off about.

 

[SW15]

I’d been talking to this girl for a week and set up a date to which she said “sure!” to. She had to work all last week and was going to get back to me with a night she had off when her schedule came out. Didn’t hear from her for a couple of days and then she text me “hey, I’m really sorry about this but I wanted to tell you that I went on a date with someone the other night and I want to see where this goes. I know that’s really crappy of me but I truly am sorry.” I just replied back with “no problem!” and left it at that. Didn’t make me mad or sad or anything, it made me actually appreciate how honest and empathetic she was in her rejection. She was probably shocked that I didn’t go off on her too, just said “no problem!” and left it at that.

I can relate to this experience. Women often represent themselves as being available when they really aren't.

I had an incident where I talked with a woman on a nightlife venue approach for about 30 minutes. It was near the end of the night on a weeknight so I only got her number without setting up a date. I texted her 2 days later with a date offer (my offer didn't specifying the venue, I was looking to solidify the night first). She texted me back within a few hours indicating that she was flattered by the offer but had returned to a previous relationship/interaction. I found the whole thing to be horse crap & insulting. I did not respond and immediately deleted her text message thread and her number. I would have preferred her to ghost then do that.

It was my fault for not pushing to set the date in-person immediately. She did the typical Millennial non-confrontational crap move.

You shouldn't have even said "no problem". You should have just deleted the text message thread on your phone and deleted her number. Women like that don't even deserve a response.

Most rejections annoy me to some degree. It's difficult not to get annoyed in some way when you make the effort and don't get the desired outcome.

In the incident I shared above, I hadn't done on a date with the woman or spent any money on her in the nightlife venue. The interaction hadn't gotten to the point of sex either. It was a low investment of effort rejection but it's still annoying as I could have spent the time I spent with her on a more meaningful prospect at the nightlife venue. Perhaps I could have gotten a date out of someone else or something else more meaningful.

Now, what pisses me off is women who aren’t interested but string you along by texting you “hey handsome, good morning…..blah blah” and when you try to set up a second or third date it’s always excuses come the time to sh!t or get off the pot. Or if a girl tries to friendzone me and keep me around for boyfriend favors. Women wouldn’t have near the issues with guys handling rejection if they were HONEST and EMPATHETIC like this other girl was. Yeah she accepted my date and it was a crappy outcome but she could have ghosted me and she didn’t, she even went as far as to let me know without me having to reach out to her. Just don’t jerk me around and play games with me and we will always be cool, but women can’t do that these days. It’s so rare these days to meet a genuine woman that this girl stood out because of this.

To me, if a woman isn't going to accept my date offer, she needs to tell me in person and not behind an electronic screen. If she's going to reject behind an electronic screen, I'd rather get a non-response than some sugary, so-called nice response with the same outcome of not furthering the interaction.

I don't ever get friend zone offers, which is good.

String alongs are annoying but some women do it because they feel so-so about you. I also dislike women who go out on the first date, don't have sex on the first date, and then don't show up for a 2nd or 3rd date. Again, with these women, I'd rather be ghosted than get some nonsense excuse about something. Ghosting/flaking tells me everything I need to know.

 

[holidayad_]

I’d been talking to this girl for a week and set up a date to which she said “sure!” to. She had to work all last week and was going to get back to me with a night she had off when her schedule came out. Didn’t hear from her for a couple of days and then she text me “hey, I’m really sorry about this but I wanted to tell you that I went on a date with someone the other night

Women always know what their schedules will look like. In other words, she possibly already had this and other dates lined up when she told you that. It sucks, but that's how women behave.

 

[SW15]

Women always know what their schedules will look like. In other words, she possibly already had this and other dates lined up when she told you that. It sucks, but that's how women behave.

I agree with this. It sounds like a horse crap excuse, similar to the horse crap I got in the story I told above. I've heard horse crap so many times in my 24 years in the mating environment. Every single poster on this forum has also heard horse crap excuses.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It sounds like some men invest a lot of emotions in something that is still up in the air.