Got complacent and girlfriend is losing interest

[Stoic]

Such is the life of a perennial “boyfriend,” pretty much an employee and pet of the “girlfriend”.

Expand that a bit if you would, what do you mean?

 

[Stoic]

Keep yourself in good shape and stay attractive. I learned the hard way. If you let yourself go. Your woman goes away too.

Yes, for sure man.

It's not just the physical part. It's also mental too. For me, its always becoming as close to top dog as you can in terms of physical attractiveness, carrying a masculine mindset, and growing your money/lifestyle.

 

[Stoic]

Okay, girlfriend recently reached out and did nearly a complete 180.

Says that I misunderstood her and asked why I would be so willing to 'let her go so quickly?'.

I told her that I wasn't upset with her at all. I just wanted to encourage her to leave if she wasn't feeling the relationship anymore. Im only going to be with someone that wants to be with me.

We are supposed to travel on vacation in a week. I think we will have a better understanding of where we stand with one another after the trip...

 

[Gamisch]

It definitely is on me.

I believe I can get a better girl with time, but good women don't grow on trees. It will be a bit of a search. I'm pretty particular. She is by far the most physically attractive woman I have ever been with.

SCARCITY MINDSET DETECTED-bleep bleep-i am a bot.

You could be( or probably are) a top 3 percenter and you don't even know it..for a man like you they actually DO grow on trees!

So why would you be lazy and limit yourself to picking up fallen low hanging fruits while you can get the better fruit high up in the tree?

 

[Gamisch]

Bro, I wanna dm you how to get my net worth up like that to even a tenth of that number.

Feck these stupid azz bythes. I have quite the journey ahead off me, as I was in deep depts up untill 3 years ago. Worked my azz off to get to a clean financial zero. Got in trouble due to making p00sy the most important thing in the universe.

Now I'm like, get your networth up as women will ALWAYS come along. You just gotta switch a button and tighten some screws here and there and start telling us whats its like to be chased by hb9,s.

C'mon bro.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Such is the life of a perennial “boyfriend,” pretty much an employee and pet of the “girlfriend”.

You’re 45? 5 years from now, when you likely have no appeal to a woman in her mid 30’s or lower (that you may have now), what are your plans?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Expand that a bit if you would, what do you mean?

Yes I agree, inquiring minds want to know.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah, women won't allow a season where you sit back and coast. That's what I was doing. I rested on my laurels. Regardless of whether it works out with her or not, I cannot just sit back and coast, not just because its unattractive to women, but I don't want to live a subopitmal life either. I want to hit as close to my full potential as possible.

When I think about it, I really dont have the luxury to sit back and coast. I am in excellent shape (post wrist injury recovery), hit $1M net worth (after a divorce), have interesting hobbies- tennis, motorcycles, a lot of foreign travel. However, I have some things going against me. I'm average height at 5'10, Im bald (ha!). So, I will always need to grind to get top tier women. But, I think the big thing that set me apart from other men is that I am extremely driven. Super ambitious. This dropped off when we were discussing marriage and seemingly heading in that direction. I knew better than to take my foot off the gas, so that's on me.

OP, great initial post. To me it feels like you took an honest look at which inning you were playing in at the ballgame of life so to speak instead of pretending you were leading off the Yankees in the first inning of the World Series.

my only comment, realizing you are doing this for yourself and your ability to keep yourself in optimal shape for your sake and then eventually if you choose your young family

 

[MtmVaott]

Appreciate the input fellas.

I believe my initial reaction to her (which I did not put in my opening post) was the correct one. Maybe it was too nice, but Asian women have a different temperament.

I said, "Listen, I'd like to be with you in the future. But, if you aren't feeling the same way, I'm okay with that too." She did indeed back track a bit after that. After that I told her I had some things I needed to get done. And that was that.

Thats where it stands now.

My action steps going forward will be:

1. Get back to working hard on my career like I was before.
2. Continue to take better care of myself through tennis, calisthenics and eating well.
3. Continue to read as much as I can, stay off the distractions from the internet, youtube, that don't serve me well.
4. Be prepared to immediately pivot and move on to other girls should this not work out.

Your reply appears to me as dismissive. As if you are angry at her and hurt, but want to punish her for it.
Compare it with Backinthegame's answer, his had a different tone.
Your GF is indeed insecure if she let's this answer pass.

ThisIsSparta is spot on when he says this girl is too high maintanence. Your foundations seem to be unstable, so you will get into problems with this girl in the long run.
Yeah and I also have a bad feeling about this girl, but I can't put my finger on it. Reminds me of the girls where I had to put active effort into maintaining their interest. Contrary to girls where there was mutual interest from the get-go. And a real connection (based on personality).

 

[Mentor]

Imagine this
You meet this girl

Great personality
Awesome career
Keeps in shape (Nice and sexy body)
Best dresser you've ever seen
(You can add your qualities)

You make your move and bam she says yes after some dates. Now you got her and she's yours.

Fats forward into the future
She's stopped working out, her body is out of shape.
She stops dressing well and generally stops taking care of herself. In other words she becomes just like any other girl
Honestly speaking, how many of us here will still want to be with her. Answer honestly.
I can bet with my last penny almost every guy here will want out.

That's exactly what most of us here do. We meet a girl and after we get her, we lose focus of what we were or what we were aiming for and when they the girl leaves, we blame them for leaving whiles if the situation was reversed, we would have left immediately we get the chance.

@ Stoic; The girl is definitely a keeper. Work on yourself and get back up. You're losing touch of who you are and she's telling you to sit up.
Imagine it was a male friend telling you this, we will all be here praising him for being real with you but a lady we are going "crucify her" for being real with you. Dude, wise up and do the right thing.

"Shalom"

 

[mikedee]

"Cool I understand, I'm busy rehabilitating my arm and making sure I can work, you do you and we will connect later"

This. Masculine

"yeah, I was feeling the same way, I am glad you brought this up. Maybe we just need to go out separate ways then."

Not this. Feminine, toxic push pull dynamic.
You would be lying because it's not true, you would be playing games like girls do. You may get her back but trust me she is going to ask you questions about this later, why you said that etc. You dont want to deal with this sh!t.

Be honest and transparent.

 

[Mentor]

Women at 28, that know the 30s are coming in fast, that know you can't get time back, with baby rabies, that want to get married, have the white picket fence, at the tail end of "I wasted my 20s", and to top it all, can play the "conservative" card very well, are everywhere, so hold your horses with the pedestalization there, buddy.

I never said to pedastalize the girl. Pedastalizing a girl means building your world around her to the point where you think if she leaves, you've lost everything. A keeper is someone who will tell you you're losing your sh*t when you're messing up. Never ever make a woman the central part of your world. For even your shadow disappears during the dark moments of the day.

*Shalom*

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This. Masculine



Not this. Feminine, toxic push pull dynamic.
You would be lying because it's not true, you would be playing games like girls do. You may get her back but trust me she is going to ask you questions about this later, why you said that etc. You dont want to deal with this sh!t.

Be honest and transparent.

It's never designed to get her back. It's you walking away.

She will chase and she will chase hard. Personally in these situations I would still walk away. It's only buying time, eventually those same feelings are going to resurface and she will continue down the same path she was going...basically at best it is a temporary bandaid, not a real fix to the situation.

IMHO, once a woman reaches a certain place with you on the downswing, it's a point of no return.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

How does spraining your wrist affect your work routine?

Clearly you have never been a fluffer on a porn set