Glassguy
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- Apr 25, 2016
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Just a little something that I noticed in myself recently when dealing with women. There are 2 types of women in my life:
- Potential LTR candidates
- FWBs
What I have noticed is this: The women that I cant beat away from me with a ball bat and the women that I look at LTR material are treated a little different in a specific way by me. Although I treat them EXACTLY the same when I am with them, its the time I am not with them that seems to make a world of difference in the tension and mystery.
With FWBs (I currently have 2) I literally dont care about anything. Say something wrong? Who cares. Do something they might not like? Who cares. Not that I walk around on eggshells with women who I view as a LTR candidate, but I probably come across as "More caring about the outcome" than I do with chicks that I am only going to bang.
Now....this is the important part- With a chick that I am interested in more than sexually I tend to want to know much about them. A girl I went out with recently that sort of fell off the planet after a great first date and sex, ended up still being a little hung up on her ex. No problem. But my actions didnt help me by reaching out after she started slowing/stopping her responses to me. After I knocked the ball back over the net I should have went totally radio silent.
With that being said, the primary difference in my communication/interaction with the 2 different types of women is this- I go at a very slow pace with a FWB. Sometimes I will literally go several days before messaging them back. And they always respond back to me fairly quickly. The reason is I dont care what they are doing, there really is not much more I want to find out about them as a person that I wont find out when I am there to bang them.
With a LTR candidate, I have noticed my interactions lately have been different. Of course I want to know more about them because I see myself actually investing in them. Which leads to more frequent texting, phone calls, etc. Not good.
Some women are good at pushing things along if they are really into you and I have noticed that instead of me slowing things down in my responses, not answering their calls most of the time, etc., I tend to match them and it isnt necessarily a good thing.
By not responding back quickly (sometimes days) with my FWBs it definitely builds a lot of sexual tension on their end. Will I hear back from him today? When will he respond? What is he doing? Who is he with? I know thats what is going through their head.
But with a LTR canidate I am much more transparent with my time. Which in a way is also not good. And its easy to be too available with someone that you also have high mutual interest in. But it backfires.
Women are really good at trying to move things along if they see you as a valuable guy who they want to catch. And sometimes it is very easy to go with the flow, although it generally backfires once they see that they can have you (Lets say in the first 3 months of dating).
The other thing I noticed that I was doing that was probably lessening my strength over LTR candidates is the frequency that I see them. FWBs are once a week. Twice a week if I choose. But of course when we really like a chick and want to get to know her more, we naturally want to spend more time with them. And it backfires.
I think its very important to keep things SLOW the first few months. Build tension. Make the woman crave you and miss you. That doesnt happen if you are pursuing too hard or primarily available. I have literally had woman (FWBs) message me and tell me that they are craving me and I need to get there to see them soon. And I still wait a while to respond. Sometimes the next day. And they never disappear.
If you are moving towards a woman, she doesnt have to move towards you. Even if they come on to you strong, choose to keep things slow. It also builds a lot of mystery and it will mind fvck most women if they get hooked on you. Most women certainly want what they have to work for because its more valuable. I have definitely let my guard down in this area but its time to tighten the game back up.
I know this post is a little choppy, but I am sure you will get the drift of it. Would love to hear opinions.
Happy Hunting
- Potential LTR candidates
- FWBs
What I have noticed is this: The women that I cant beat away from me with a ball bat and the women that I look at LTR material are treated a little different in a specific way by me. Although I treat them EXACTLY the same when I am with them, its the time I am not with them that seems to make a world of difference in the tension and mystery.
With FWBs (I currently have 2) I literally dont care about anything. Say something wrong? Who cares. Do something they might not like? Who cares. Not that I walk around on eggshells with women who I view as a LTR candidate, but I probably come across as "More caring about the outcome" than I do with chicks that I am only going to bang.
Now....this is the important part- With a chick that I am interested in more than sexually I tend to want to know much about them. A girl I went out with recently that sort of fell off the planet after a great first date and sex, ended up still being a little hung up on her ex. No problem. But my actions didnt help me by reaching out after she started slowing/stopping her responses to me. After I knocked the ball back over the net I should have went totally radio silent.
With that being said, the primary difference in my communication/interaction with the 2 different types of women is this- I go at a very slow pace with a FWB. Sometimes I will literally go several days before messaging them back. And they always respond back to me fairly quickly. The reason is I dont care what they are doing, there really is not much more I want to find out about them as a person that I wont find out when I am there to bang them.
With a LTR candidate, I have noticed my interactions lately have been different. Of course I want to know more about them because I see myself actually investing in them. Which leads to more frequent texting, phone calls, etc. Not good.
Some women are good at pushing things along if they are really into you and I have noticed that instead of me slowing things down in my responses, not answering their calls most of the time, etc., I tend to match them and it isnt necessarily a good thing.
By not responding back quickly (sometimes days) with my FWBs it definitely builds a lot of sexual tension on their end. Will I hear back from him today? When will he respond? What is he doing? Who is he with? I know thats what is going through their head.
But with a LTR canidate I am much more transparent with my time. Which in a way is also not good. And its easy to be too available with someone that you also have high mutual interest in. But it backfires.
Women are really good at trying to move things along if they see you as a valuable guy who they want to catch. And sometimes it is very easy to go with the flow, although it generally backfires once they see that they can have you (Lets say in the first 3 months of dating).
The other thing I noticed that I was doing that was probably lessening my strength over LTR candidates is the frequency that I see them. FWBs are once a week. Twice a week if I choose. But of course when we really like a chick and want to get to know her more, we naturally want to spend more time with them. And it backfires.
I think its very important to keep things SLOW the first few months. Build tension. Make the woman crave you and miss you. That doesnt happen if you are pursuing too hard or primarily available. I have literally had woman (FWBs) message me and tell me that they are craving me and I need to get there to see them soon. And I still wait a while to respond. Sometimes the next day. And they never disappear.
If you are moving towards a woman, she doesnt have to move towards you. Even if they come on to you strong, choose to keep things slow. It also builds a lot of mystery and it will mind fvck most women if they get hooked on you. Most women certainly want what they have to work for because its more valuable. I have definitely let my guard down in this area but its time to tighten the game back up.
I know this post is a little choppy, but I am sure you will get the drift of it. Would love to hear opinions.
Happy Hunting