The Danger Of Girls With Many Male Friends?

[soulforge]

I think most of us agree, when in a commited relationship with a girl, it's a bad idea that she keeps guy freinds around.

Often if she is really into you, she might drop the dudes, so it doesn't cause a major problem in the relationship.

However can you ever really trust a girl, who is naturally more inclined to be friendly with men?

She's the type of girl who always had more guy freinds than chicks, and is too comfortable talking to & being around dudes?

It's possible that she drops her guy freinds for you, then goes ahead and becomes freindly with some new ones from her job or off social media.

Thoughts?

 

[Robert28]

My thought on the whole deal with women that keep a lot of guy friends around is this. They’re insecure as hell. They need those guy friends sticking around fawning over them or they will absolutely melt. Remember, any attention is better than I attention. I won’t date a girl with a lot of guy friends, not because I’m worried about her cheating, I just know how insecure she really is and what those guy friends she’s collected represent as I’ve been one of those guys and know exactly what goes on.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

They’re insecure as hell.

I have a lot of female friends. Doesn't mean my woman has to worry about them. I don't look at gender when I choose my friends. I dated women with guy friends and I'm sure some of them were satellites, but if a woman is bonded to you she won't care about that.

If you have a woman who talks/complains about lots of male attention, she's likely to be an insecure attention/validation seeker.

 

[Dr.Suave]

However can you ever really trust a girl, who is naturally more inclined to be friendly with men?

No

 

[soulforge]

My thought on the whole deal with women that keep a lot of guy friends around is this. They’re insecure as hell. They need those guy friends sticking around fawning over them or they will absolutely melt. Remember, any attention is better than I attention. I won’t date a girl with a lot of guy friends, not because I’m worried about her cheating, I just know how insecure she really is and what those guy friends she’s collected represent as I’ve been one of those guys and know exactly what goes on.

I get this.. however some girls will drop the guy freinds for the sake of the LTR.

However I believe if she is naturally more inclined to be friends with guys, then that risk is always going to be present.

 

[soulforge]

My thought on the whole deal with women that keep a lot of guy friends around is this. They’re insecure as hell. They need those guy friends sticking around fawning over them or they will absolutely melt. Remember, any attention is better than I attention. I won’t date a girl with a lot of guy friends, not because I’m worried about her cheating, I just know how insecure she really is and what those guy friends she’s collected represent as I’ve been one of those guys and know exactly what goes on.

You actually should worry about her cheating too, when things get a little rocky with her, and she has multiple dudes lurking around waiting for her to be in a vunerabile position.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Is that when they are not with a guy or going thru sht rheyll sleep with their friends.

How do i know? I was in those friend groups. Everyone kinda slept with evrryone else except me. Due to my sexual anxiety and not really always keeping viagra handy

 

[soulforge]

Is that when they are not with a guy or going thru sht rheyll sleep with their friends.

How do i know? I was in those friend groups. Everyone kinda slept with evrryone else except me. Due to my sexual anxiety and not really always keeping viagra handy

Thanks for sharing your peniz problems with us!

 

[SW15]

Male friends are generally problematic. I prefer for the women I date to have exclusively female females. They are likely to have some acquaintances but I'm not comfortable with a woman having male friends she regularly sees. It's possible and even likely that these guys are stuck in friend zone orbiters of hers, but I'd rather not deal with that situation at all.

 

[CountSuavula]

These women will stop being in contact with all the guy friends, if you tell her No more hanging out with guys and being their friends, she will disconnect from them for having a relationship to bond with just you.

But once the two of you break up she will instantaneously have the entire entourage of dudes hanging around again like old times. Like the most joyous of best friend times ever, a kind of reunion of best friend fun, without you.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's not acceptable for women in commited relationships to hang out with other men (with some exceptions), but I'm not going to tell them they have to cut them out. I simply won't date them in the first place, or won't agree to commitment.

I usually nip this in the bud very early on before even setting boundaries or anything, and ask them "if you gave your guy friends a chance to smash you, would they do it?" Usually this gets an amused response and the entire argument is over.

 

[Serenity]

It's not that simple. I'd judge the nature of those friendships to determine whether it really is mutually platonic or there's obviously tensions present.

Not that hard to spot unless you're emotionally and socially incompetent.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Several thoughts as a woman raised by a great father and as a woman who learned to hunt, shoot, fish, build things and fix things and who was always around capable men in the family and grew up in a neighborhood where it was 80% boys (so guess what, you grow up finding tadpoles in creeks, playing ball, ramping bikes & building forts.)

So guess which gender I was more comfortable and conversant with? Men!

I found women dramatic, fickle & fussy. And it baffled me that guys found these fussy fickle women interesting. Obviously I figured all that out years ago to my advantage, but Ive always had platonic male friends. I can’t stand orbiters however and I do not keep orbiters around. My male friends have always been desirable guys who are not interested in me and who I am not interested in. More like brothers.

And I am NOT insecure and I do NOT need male attention & validation. I genuinely like my friends as people, whether they be male or female. My husband has female friends. I don’t care. I have male friends. He doesn’t care. We’ve met each other’s opposite gender friends & gotten to know them as people.

It takes secure people to do that.

To me nothing screams insecure like a romantic interest who starts trying to dictate who I can be friends with. My attitude? F*ck off. These people were my friends when shjt went down & Ive known them for years. Who the hell are you to try to dictate my friendships. I just met you.

 

[CountSuavula]

Every woman I ever had intimate relationships with who had this thing with “I have lots of guy friends”, they all cut the guys out of their life for having a relationship with me, but I had to clearly tell them, It is either the friends or me.

Every woman knows she cannot have a man like me plus the guy friends, with them calling her or wanting to do something spontaneous. Forget that. You have to put your foot down and say No way.

Nine times out of ten these babes will pick having one man for a relationship.

 

[Serenity]

You actually should worry about her cheating too, when things get a little rocky with her, and she has multiple dudes lurking around waiting for her to be in a vunerabile position.

Whether guys are available or not is really irrelevant, it ignores the cause, a weak relationship to begin with. If a woman comes to the point she'd cheat like that, then I'd argue the relationship is fvcked either way regardless of whether she actually has that option easily available or not. It wasn't going to work out anyways if she's that weak.

 

[BeExcellent]

Any desirable woman has men available at any given time. All she has to do is leave the house.

 

[CountSuavula]

Advice from the old lady:

Several thoughts as a woman raised by a great father and as a woman who learned to hunt, shoot, fish, build things and fix things and who was always around capable men in the family and grew up in a neighborhood where it was 80% boys (so guess what, you grow up finding tadpoles in creeks, playing ball, ramping bikes & building forts.)

So guess which gender I was more comfortable and conversant with? Men!

I found women dramatic, fickle & fussy. And it baffled me that guys found these fussy fickle women interesting. Obviously I figured all that out years ago to my advantage, but Ive always had platonic male friends. I can’t stand orbiters however and I do not keep orbiters around. My male friends have always been desirable guys who are not interested in me and who I am not interested in. More like brothers.

And I am NOT insecure and I do NOT need male attention & validation. I genuinely like my friends as people, whether they be male or female. My husband has female friends. I don’t care. I have male friends. He doesn’t care. We’ve met each other’s opposite gender friends & gotten to know them as people.

It takes secure people to do that.

To me nothing screams insecure like a romantic interest who starts trying to dictate who I can be friends with. My attitude? F*ck off. These people were my friends when shjt went down & Ive known them for years. Who the hell are you to try to dictate my friendships. I just met you.

Because most women who have tons of guys hanging around they are unstable for having a man. There is an immaturity to it. She has to either pick having a Peter Pan lifestyle with all of these unknown orbiter dudes, or a relationship with me.

The thing is, once you get the orbiter guys out of the picture she already has a family or sisters or girlfriends so then they are in the picture instead of all these questionable dudes who orbit around wanting to screw her.

 

[BeExcellent]

Because most women who have tons of guys hanging around they are unstable for having a man. There is an immaturity to it. She has to either pick having a Peter Pan lifestyle with all of these unknown orbiter dudes, or a relationship with me.

The thing is, once you get the orbiter guys out of the picture she already has a family or sisters or girlfriends so then they are in the picture instead of all these questionable dudes who orbit around wanting to screw her.

And what if that’s NOT the case? None of my guy friends want to have sex with me, not because I’m unattractive either, but that’s not the nature of the interaction. It’s like @Serenity said. You should be able to figure out the nature of the relationship very succinctly.

One of my close male friends read a passage at my wedding (which he attended with his serious GF).

 

[CountSuavula]

None of my guy friends want to have sex with me,

Riiight, suuure they don’t want sex with you. (Sarcasm)

I mean, I read your statements and understand what you described, but it was peppered with abundant cotton candy, girl logic.

As a guy, I know that the “I have lots of guy friends” is a red flag and she needs to ditch a lot of these unknown orbiter dudes if she wants our relationship to continue to grow.

Also as I mentioned, most women already have an abundance of close female friendships and female family to be buddies with.

 

[BeExcellent]

Riiight, suuure they don’t want sex with you. (Sarcasm)

I mean, I read your statements and understand what you described, but it was peppered with abundant cotton candy, girl logic.

As a guy, I know that the “I have lots of guy friends” is a red flag and she needs to ditch a lot of these unknown orbiter dudes if she wants our relationship to continue to grow.

Also as I mentioned, most women already have an abundance of close female friendships and female family to be buddies with.

I have both. Generally my male friends are more loyal. Life is long. I’m mid 50s. I have a male friend I’ve known since age 16 who is literally like a brother to me. We’ve always been totally platonic. He lives in another state, we catch up once or twice a year. Another I’ve known since age 22, and at that time we dated a year. We’ve remained friends and he is one of the private investors in my business. But it’s been platonic over 30 years. I have 3 sisters who are several states away with families. I have some close girlfriends too, 2 married and one engaged, then I have single girlfriends and single guy friends.

As a married woman I disappoint both my female & male single friends because I decline running around with them as a married woman, unless hubby feels like going. That is a natural outcome of putting the marriage first. But it truly has little to do with gender. I turned down a close girlfriend tonight who wanted to go out. I don’t find it appropriate.

It has nothing to do with gender.